Good morning, everyone.

This might be a bit long but please read and help with advice.

I am just angry and I need to let out steam.

So my elder sister has been trying to reach me but could not. She had to pass a message to my younger sister.

Our mother is late and...

The message is that an uncle called her and told her that he saw our mother in a dream and that our mother is hungry. He said we should do "Sara" so that doors will open for us.

You would think this is coming from someone who really care about us until you hear his history.

History about the so called uncle below, as it relates to us.

The History:

He left Benin city with just nylon that has stripes black and yellow and a bathroom slippers because his father chased him out.

And he traveled down to Lagos because he heard my mum was in money.

Well, that's what a lot of them did back then.

As small as I was, about 5 years old, I still remember that night... It would be between 8pm and 9pm.

And I sat with my mum in the sitting room when he walked in. He introduced himself.

My mum welcomed him in her usual nature, asked our maid to get him water to bath and food to eat.

That's how he started living with us.

Before long, he started acting as a personal assistant to my mum... I doubt there was nothing he didn't know about her finances and money.

This guy scuttled and jeopardized my mum's attempt to travel out when things were getting tough and did fake visa for her. It caused big problem.

We her children were just too young to be able to handle anything at that time and she was at the mercies of some family members, mostly extended families who did some running around.

One of those that used to come to our house even connived with someone to dupe her but was caught.

My mum's other weakness was that she was extremely generous to a fault.

Anyway, our so called uncle eventually had some money and traveled out of Nigeria to the US.

You don't need anybody to tell you how he got enough money to travel out, for someone who came with just slippers and I don't remember him working anywhere else, maybe he did some rackets elsewhere or some businesses...

Anyway, he got to the US.

The most shocking thing he did was to send picture to my mum and told his father that he sent money to him through my mum. He said he put the money INSIDE the picture.

How is that even possible for heaven sake?

Just how?

This caused rifts between the dad and my mum because the dad felt my mum defrauded them.

Things became extremely tough for us to the point that we were kicked out of the rented apartment.

Mind you, my mum had money to build a house, even a story building and a blueprint was designed. She did not but was rather helping family members here and there.

I remember seeing that blueprint but I never knew it was for my mum. She just left it at the top of wardrobe until rats destroyed them.

This uncle bought car and built house for his dad and mum...

We squatted with people in Lagos and relatives and I even had to hawk for an aunt. During holidays, I would hawk 3 times daily, going from Itire/Ijesha to national stadium on foot.

During these times, this uncle met my elder brother, who was squatting with friends, 3 times and he would tell my brother to meet him at xyz hotel next day... When my brother would get to the hotel, they would tell him he left the day before.

By now, you must have noticed he enjoys playing us like ping pong. He knew what we were going through. He knew.

A lot happened and we somehow managed to survive it all...

Then my mother died. Fortunately, this uncle was in Nigeria after many years abroad. The only thing he was just saying was "if I knew, if I knew..." Trying to sound like he regrets not helping my mum and us.

I was just looking at him in silence.

There was a time I reached out to him for help and he started preaching Bible to me. I was mad at that. Not a single effort to even do anything at all, not like I go about seeking help from families because over the years, I have learned to live my life without them.

For the records, it was even friends that saw me through school after my mum died.

My anger is, despite everything we went through and how this uncle and others like him treated us, my elder sister still keeps in touch to the point that he had the confidence to call her and tell her such words.

The thing is my elder sister is too emotional and little things about our mother gets to her.

I have personally blocked this very uncle everywhere. He still sent me friend request some months ago. I don't know what he is looking for.

I really don't care about him cos I know how much my mother loved her children, and she sacrificed a lot for us when she was alive... And I don't need an external predator to tell me about my mother to the point that my mother will stand in the way of successes of her own children, something she never need while alive...

But my elder sister not me. Now she has sent everyone this message and I am broken by it all, especially when it is coming from an uncle with a character like I explained.

The whole thing just messed up my mind and mood and I angrily sent her a voice note some minutes ago to express my displeasure about the whole thing some minutes before creating this thread.

Are we having challenges? I would say yes for we the sons because some things have not be going right on my part, especially when I get opportunities and at the point of it materializing or becoming a success, 1 puzzle goes missing and everything fails. I have had countless experiences with this.

However, I also understand my foundation because I am technically building from scratch, no family inheritance or connection. I solely depend on my intellect and ability to think up ideas.

But I also know a lot of people are going through same.

Why would I then attribute this shortcomings to my mother whom I know loved me pieces? Just why?

I don't like being too spiritual about certain things.

Is it advisable to go on with the Sara? I need advice please. My mood is all furked up and I can't think straight. The thing about me is, I know my elder sister is restless because of this... And she has bought into it already. And when that happens, I am affected one way or the other. A typical thing about me is that I can't even bear to see my elder sister in distress or sad or in tears. It's that bad and that's why I am worried.

Please help in whatever words you can.

stjsd:
Keep doing your thing the right way and cancel that your senses of entitlement. For the fact that your mum was generous while alive doesn’t mean that you should expect something in return from people that you claimed she has helped. Hard work + faith and positive mind towards your self, things will work out good for you. Pray to God the most high not to the dead ☠️.

gfon:
Na ur uncle suppose do that sara and not you,hence thats why she appears to him.He let her down while she was alive.All these wicked uncles wey we get,karma go surley visit them.

MajestiqueD:
I feel for your mom... After all her kindness n generosity, she was abandoned by those she helped. Too much kindness is not good oo... People go use u. . op, don't do any Sala nonsense... Let your uncle do it, afterall he's the one she appearing to..

Mercychen:
Errm.. op. Are you a born again Christian?
If you are, is there anywhere in the Bible it says people should carry out such practices for the dead?
Make the Bible your guide always an only do what it commands.

A woman once told me to do it for my dead Mom for "ways to open" but because I've never come across it in the Bible, I didn't do it. Rather I turned to God and God has been faithful. It doesn't mean I disregard my Mom or anything but I just feel God is the one that holds the key to my success and progress in life.

The same woman again told me. Ehn.. you and your twin should cook "Ewa Ibeji" for crying out loud. What's all these?? We didn't do it because its not biblical. still God has been faithful.

So... I'm not going to tell you to do it or not to do it. Cos I don't even know your spiritual stand in the first place or what your beliefs are.

Shalom.

crackhaus:
Which one is 'sara' again?

So people will die and get to the other side and still be experiencing hunger/hardship

Wonderful...

ipain:
that's what a friend just told me now. I am just tired of the guy and I don't know what he wants.

sisisioge:
My brother....may God bless your life.

While I dont believe in all this spiritual stuff,I sometimes like to give what belongs to czar to Czar. Just pray to God and try to connect peace to your mom. Then anytime you're walking around the needy people, just gift them anything you can afford to give. That will be your Sara. You have tried. All your ducks will align by God's grace.

Now above is something you could have done ordinarily without the dreadful fellow's message. He on the other hand cant obviously rest as he had greatly offended the dead hence he kept seeing her in his dreams. May God rest her well.

Klass99:

@ OP, you've already received good responses. So, let me just say I like the way you write.