Thread for Toxic and frustrated people.

DoggoneDogg:


Good answer.

When you see a man asking the wife to foot bills, it is usually because she has challenged his authority in the home.

You people here lie. There are many that give us men a bad name. In Abuja and Lagos they target women with money and use their money to live big boy life. That is why they get disrespected at home. One was even using his wife’s car to go and fight on behalf of olosho something we used our own eyes to witness no be story.

Justbehave:
Kids will always be kids.

Normally she no b wife material. .

[quote author=ityP post=107455354]



Lmao. Very anyhow reasoning. Marry my type, you'd practically be begging for the sex[/quote
]
Normally she no b wife material. .

ahnie:

You're always a darling .
I ve just included you to my list of darlings
Crackhauz
Pocohantas
Mariahangel/mariaangeles
Folake4u
Fanofmyself (this one can like admire himself
Chatinent.

Thank you all

List of idiots, you included.

Klass99:


At the first bold, I absolutely agree.

The second bold reminds me of a conversation I had with a former superior.

The guy could never understand how he would give his wife like 100k at the start of a new week but when he returns home, wifey will send their daughter to tell him Cway water (the dispenser bottle types) has finished.

In his mind, he will be like but I just gave you money on Monday, why can't you buy the water! But his ego and shame combined (according to him) never allowed him to ask her to buy the water from what he had given her. He would quietly just do what was needed.

But, the day we had this conversation at the office it was clear from his tone that he was getting fed up of her shenanigans. And he said the same thing you did - that the ego (his tribal men in particular) have plus taking on all the responsibilities, is what results to husbands dying and a high rate of widows from his area.

Lol Klassy, always on point. There’s a popular saying on this forum about women evolving while men remain stagnant. This man is a clear cut example of that saying. When the world is in 2021, he’s stuck in 1991. I hope it doesn’t end in premium tears for him.

It’s understandable if a woman isn’t working, but someone earning? His wife’s boyfriend will be a lucky guy

sharone21:


You are right but the part u said bills should be split equally CANNOT be forced...Or during pregnancy and child bearing, u will help her carry it or help her pay a surrogate?
I believe in partnership in marriage and a wife supporting her husband and if God blesses her more, even be the breadwinner while the man helps out...but understand that unlike men who are not bugged down by child birthing and care which takes a chunk of a woman's life and economic wellbeing, many women have lost opportunities of more progressive promotions at their places of work and subsequently are at the lower rung of life financially.
There must be balance and each home is uniquely different.

Definitely, no adult can be forced to do anything they don’t want to do. The man also can’t be forced to fully take care of the home or to contribute more than his wife is bringing to the table. If the wife was living alone wouldn’t she sort 100% of the bill despite being economically disadvantaged?

If a man decides to take full responsibility for the bills it should be seen as a favour to the woman, not as a responsibility.

Let me tell you a long story, a friend of mine was working as call centre agent, he was making $34k per year, his wife worked in a bank and made $76k per year. They were splitting bills and chores. The guy was sponsoring himself to school too in hope for a better job.

Soon the guy got a job in a firm with $90k salary. The next month his wife asked him how they were splitting the bills, he responded with nothing has changed, same old same old.

The next month after that she asked again, he repeated his response and that’s when she went gaga, she said if he wasn’t going to man-up she had no need for him. Family got involved, the guy said she was earning double what he earned and bills were split equally, now he’s earning just slightly above her and she wants to change the formula.

Family then advised that they share bills on a percentage of income basis. The couple reluctantly agreed, after the meeting, the wife insisted that he paid the rent $2k while she takes care of food and water, electricity etc $500.

Long story short, they got divorced. Moral of my story; most women will not do for a man what a man would do for them. If my guy was the one earning 76k while his wife earned 34k, he would have been solely responsible for the bills, he would not have been splitting bills equally with her.

eazzzy1:


Definitely, no adult can be forced to do anything they don’t want to do. The man also can’t be forced to fully take care of the home or to contribute more than his wife is bringing to the table. If the wife was living alone wouldn’t she sort 100% of the bill despite being economically disadvantaged?

If a man decides to take full responsibility for the bills it should be seen as a favour to the woman, not as a responsibility.

Let me tell you a long story, a friend of mine was working as call centre agent, he was making $34k per year, his wife worked in a bank and made $76k per year. They were splitting bills and chores. The guy was sponsoring himself to school too in hope for a better job.

Soon the guy got a job in a firm with $90k salary. The next month his wife asked him how they were splitting the bills, he responded with nothing has changed, same old same old.

The next month after that she asked again, he repeated his response and that’s when she went gaga, she said if he wasn’t going to man-up she had no need for him. Family got involved, the guy said she was earning double what he earned and bills were split equally, now he’s earning just slightly above her and she wants to change the formula.

Family then advised that they share bills on a percentage of income basis. The couple reluctantly agreed, after the meeting, the wife insisted that he paid the rent $2k while she takes care of food and water, electricity etc $500.

Long story short, they got divorced. Moral of my story; most women will not do for a man what a man would do for them. If my guy was the one earning 76k while his wife earned 34k, he would have been solely responsible for the bills, he would not have been splitting bills equally with her.

What was the bill splitting formula before he got the new job?

eazzzy1:


Definitely, no adult can be forced to do anything they don’t want to do. The man also can’t be forced to fully take care of the home or to contribute more than his wife is bringing to the table. If the wife was living alone wouldn’t she sort 100% of the bill despite being economically disadvantaged?

If a man decides to take full responsibility for the bills it should be seen as a favour to the woman, not as a responsibility.

Let me tell you a long story, a friend of mine was working as call centre agent, he was making $34k per year, his wife worked in a bank and made $76k per year. They were splitting bills and chores. The guy was sponsoring himself to school too in hope for a better job.

Soon the guy got a job in a firm with $90k salary. The next month his wife asked him how they were splitting the bills, he responded with nothing has changed, same old same old.

The next month after that she asked again, he repeated his response and that’s when she went gaga, she said if he wasn’t going to man-up she had no need for him. Family got involved, the guy said she was earning double what he earned and bills were split equally, now he’s earning just slightly above her and she wants to change the formula.

Family then advised that they share bills on a percentage of income basis. The couple reluctantly agreed, after the meeting, the wife insisted that he paid the rent $2k while she takes care of food and water, electricity etc $500.

Long story short, they got divorced. Moral of my story; most women will not do for a man what a man would do for them. If my guy was the one earning 76k while his wife earned 34k, he would have been solely responsible for the bills, he would not have been splitting bills equally with her.

Biggest issue abroad..

Those kids on here think marriage is about cheating and sex.

How to delegate bills and responsibilities are the biggest reasons for break up, mostly with black women. You know African mentality with feminism never works.

Legendoo:


Biggest issue abroad..

Those kids on here think marriage is about cheating and sex.

How to delegate bills and responsibilities are the biggest reasons for break up, mostly with black women. You know African mentality with feminism never works.

It's nor black women it's ALL WOMEN.

.

Legendoo:


No sir, it's black women.

They want us to remain traditional men but want to be feministic at the same time.

A typical White women understands sharing bills and responsibilities. I mean Europeans not those white Americans.

Oh now I get you. You are right....

BigBashiru:


What was the bill splitting formula before he got the new job?

50 - 50 all three years of their marriage.

Legendoo:


Biggest issue abroad..

Those kids on here think marriage is about cheating and sex.

How to delegate bills and responsibilities are the biggest reasons for break up, mostly with black women. You know African mentality with feminism never works.

Facts. It’s funny how more money that’s suppose to be a blessing to a family ended up breaking up their family.

Everybody should use their earned money for themselves. If out of the goodwill of a partner’s heart they decide to contribute more it should be appreciated, it’s nobodies responsibility to take care of an adult.

Dollish:
why the insult? He said his mind why not say yours n move on or u keep quiet. Must u comment? I don't know why his opinion pained u so much. Oga he's not the architect of your frustrations, u can as well tell your wife to foot the whole bills while u look on it's not our business but showing how immature u are to the public is ridiculous.

My sister, thank you so much for your reply.


I don't reply unnecessary mention, reason why I ignored him...

Tomorrow they would go out and be forming big boy and the head of family, while you are forcing your wife to foot your responsibilities

wunmi590:


I'm a married man, I don't chase clout.

If you are married which I doubt,I don't think you will have this kinda mentality.

If your wife is working or doing biz what would her earnings now be for?

Na when she use her money dey take care of one Bobo for corner you go come here begin ask for advise.

wunmi590:



My sister, thank you so much for your reply.


I don't reply unnecessary mention, reason why I ignored him...

Tomorrow they would go out and be forming big boy and the head of family, while you are forcing your wife to foot your responsibilities

you told them the bitter truth but selfishness n wickedness will not allow them see the truth. If they are not ready to take responsibility they should remain single.

eazzzy1:


Definitely, no adult can be forced to do anything they don’t want to do. The man also can’t be forced to fully take care of the home or to contribute more than his wife is bringing to the table. If the wife was living alone wouldn’t she sort 100% of the bill despite being economically disadvantaged?

If a man decides to take full responsibility for the bills it should be seen as a favour to the woman, not as a responsibility.

Let me tell you a long story, a friend of mine was working as call centre agent, he was making $34k per year, his wife worked in a bank and made $76k per year. They were splitting bills and chores. The guy was sponsoring himself to school too in hope for a better job.

Soon the guy got a job in a firm with $90k salary. The next month his wife asked him how they were splitting the bills, he responded with nothing has changed, same old same old.

The next month after that she asked again, he repeated his response and that’s when she went gaga, she said if he wasn’t going to man-up she had no need for him. Family got involved, the guy said she was earning double what he earned and bills were split equally, now he’s earning just slightly above her and she wants to change the formula.

Family then advised that they share bills on a percentage of income basis. The couple reluctantly agreed, after the meeting, the wife insisted that he paid the rent $2k while she takes care of food and water, electricity etc $500.

Long story short, they got divorced. Moral of my story; most women will not do for a man what a man would do for them. If my guy was the one earning 76k while his wife earned 34k, he would have been solely responsible for the bills, he would not have been splitting bills equally with her.

Your guy was SELFISH and doesn't know what it means to be a MAN, husband and father... Fatherhood actually is selflessness ( i dont know what boys interprete fatherhood to be) and a woman is a h-e-l-p-e-r to a man...
I repeat 50-50 should not be enforced on a woman unless the man will carry the pregnancy and give birth to their kids apart from chores since the man wan open eye.

It takes 2 fools to make marriage work. If the woman earns more and wants to do more than whatever she was previously doing fine since they are both partners in progress BUT this should not make the man not to man up and pamper her with gifts, outings to make her happy.... That is where an African man misses it.

sharone21:


Your guy was SELFISH and doesn't know what it means to be a MAN, husband and father... Fatherhood actually is selflessness ( i dont know what boys interprete fatherhood to be) and a woman is a h-e-l-p-e-r to a man...
I repeat 50-50 should not be enforced on a woman unless the man will carry the pregnancy and give birth to their kids apart from chores since the man wan open eye.

It takes 2 fools to make marriage work. If the woman earns more and wants to do more than whatever she was previously doing fine since they are both partners in progress BUT this should not make the man not to man up and pamper her with gifts, outings to make her happy.... That is where an African man misses it.

Why shouldn't being a mother be selfless? she doesn't know what it means to be a mother.

50-50 should be enforced on a woman at all times and if she's doesn't want she should go and find another man and the man finds a woman that wants 50-50. Shekina. There's no long sermon in evening service.

As for carrying pregnancy, doesn't the woman want the baby too? It's her baby too. Unless the man should do 100% provision for 9 months (equivalent of pregnancy) and then afterwards it reverts to 50-50.

A woman being a help meet means 50% from her.

BigBashiru:


Why shouldn't being a mother be selfless? she doesn't know what it means to be a mother.

50-50 should be enforced on a woman at all times and if she's doesn't want she should go and find another man and the man finds a woman that wants 50-50. Shekina. There's no long sermon in evening service.

Why marry a man then? A woman with such lazy man who has no self respect will do better on HER own till her OWN rib comes( that man is NOT hers....women please, don't be blindly desperate to marry)...You want woman to sweat it for the man to dey flex around with girlfriends since he has so much extra change? ( lol).... Kolewerk....

I have said it that Nairaland is full of boys...even if your wife earns more and wants to do more, this initial oversabi will not allow that coupled with not pampering her.....

I guess u need to get into the labour room to see what women go through and BLEED as some babies come to the world breeched( birth positions aside from the normal cephalic head position)... Giving birth alone is LIFE & DEATH....As one man of God put it some years back,' if men were told to have kids, na by force them go do am...highest 1 kid'( lol)... Since everything is 50-50, the man must give birth or pay a surrogate, so both man and woman can dedicate their fresh bodies for work.

Boys on Nairaland need good role models/mentors.

Peace.

sharone21:


Why marry a man then? A woman with such lazy man who has no self respect will do better on HER own till her OWN rib comes( that man is NOT hers....women please, don't be blindly desperate to marry)...You want woman to sweat it for the man to dey flex around with girlfriends since he has so much extra change? ( lol).... Kolewerk....

I have said it that Nairaland is full of boys...even if your wife earns more and wants to do more, this initial oversabi will not allow that coupled with not pampering it.....

I guess u need to get into the labour room to see what women go through and BLEED as some babies come to the world breeched( birth positions aside from the normal cephalic head position)... Giving birth alone is LIFE & DEATH....As one man of God put it some years back,' if men were told to have kids, na by force them go do am...highest 1 kid'( lol)... Since everything is 50-50, the man must give birth or pay a surrogate, so both man and woman can dedicate their fresh bodies for work.

Peace.

1. As for baby, the woman wants the baby too. And as for pain of pregnancy that's a curse God put on her so it's not the man's fault.

2. As a man, I can do 100% for only 12 months due to child birth after that its back to 50-50.

[quote author=BigBashiru post=107477492]

1. As for baby, the woman wants the baby too. And that's a curse God put on her so it's not the man's fault.

2. As a man, I can do 100% for only 12 months due to child birth after that its back to 50-50.[/quote

You assume women want the baby too for such a man? LIE...Not every woman wants to be bugged with motherhood as 1 child alone takes 6 years off a woman's life, since the child will start school and till 6 years before he can independently go to school and come back on his own without mum.

See, marriage is for mature people only...I don't think I ever saw my parents arguing on who go foot bills even when my mum was a FULL career woman and my dad was a professional who worked from home.... In fact from them I learnt a lot...

E get some things I read from Nairaland boys and laugh...

And my dad is someone that can give us ( wife & kids)his eyes... You will wonder why u see some kids hustling to do a lot for their dad when they are adults...the simple word is SACRIFICE...Despite my dad's busy schedule, we had him more seeing to a lot of things in our lives than even mum....Dad knew us to the extent that we have no secrets before him....Papa wen go do chores even when we had maids...

See, both partners must be fools and as head of a home( even when just courting), there must be true love which ought to come first from the man THEN the woman reciprocates even to the extent of doing spending lavishly for the home.

NB: I know some women that even when they have small change, they can never spend for their kids unless the man brings money and I cannot stand this.

[quote author=sharone21 post=107477817][/quote]

Proof of being a help meet is in bringing cash...it's also a demonstration of love to the man. I can wash plates and wash children's clothes too...

[quote author=sharone21 post=107477817][/quote]

True love needs to come from the woman first then the man reciprocated...

[quote author=sharone21 post=107477817][/quote]

If the purpose of marriage is for women to cash out then na i ain't doing. It's 50-50 unless I voluntarily make it 60-40 but that's grace....

WhyAWhy:


Abeg who respect help. Wait let me take respect to the bank

What chore are we talking about abeg. Is your house Oshodi market abi who no get vacuum cleaner and washing machine/washer man in this present day. Even cooking sef, it is not as if you are turning out 30 different delicacies a month

Let us assume you even want to be traditional, it means your so called husband has the final say and you have zero opinion. You go like am line that ?

Easier said than done. If a man demands for shared Bill's he should also demand for shared maintenance of the house chores,afterall the so called vacuum,washing machine you mentioned wont operate by themselves. The basic thing is men and women should use their brain when going into marriage,if a man treats u right he wont have to demand for it...
Yes my husband always have the final say,doesn't mean I dont have an opinion of my own.

Cookie14:


Easier said than done. If a man demands for shared Bill's he should also demand for shared maintenance of the house chores,afterall the so called vacuum,washing machine you mentioned wont operate by themselves. The basic thing is men and women should use their brain when going into marriage,if a man treats u right he wont have to demand for it...
Yes my husband always have the final say,doesn't mean I dont have an opinion of my own.

shared maintenance of the house chores is not a big deal at all. I will gladly do those but the woman must bring some money because im not her slave.....

Pataricatering:
Women need to split bills - infact bills should be split based in a percentage of ones salary - naturally the higher earning spouse pays more . Household work and childcare will also be split according to how busy or less busy each spouse is . This is the equality we fight for as women- splitting bills comes with the territory

No, splitting of bills should be an option, not a must, abeg!

So what happens to this equation of yours when life hits and one partner is without employment employment an extended period of time or business goes burst?

Abeg, make we try maintain sanctity of and even sanity in marriage. The formulae is still two becomes one, abi?,

ahnie:

You're always a darling .
I ve just included you to my list of darlings
Crackhauz
Pocohantas
Mariahangel/mariaangeles
Folake4u
Fanofmyself (this one can like admire himself
Chatinent.

Thank you all

Ejiro!!! So you sef take style dey insult me abi

FanOfMyself:

Ejiro!!! So you sef take style dey insult me abi

Kobojunkie:
No, splitting of bills should be an option, not a must, abeg!

So what happens to this equation of yours when life hits and one partner is without employment employment an extended period of time or business goes burst?

Abeg, make we try maintain sanctity of and even sanity in marriage. The formulae is still two becomes one, abi?,

The problem with religious ppl is they do not question their beliefs rationally. "Two becomes one" only exists in the holy books and not in the minds of most women....

Waist trainers.......for sale



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