I don't know how to resolve this, I m planning to get married soon but the problem here is that things are very complicated at this point.

Firstly it was one of my fiance brother who was pastor that keep saying i can't marry her until I get personal confirmation (in form of dream) from God. Mind you I have pray about it from 3 different men of God and they confirmed this lady is my bone. Later he said I m a yahoo boy because I said I work online after we sort out that one it was my fiance aunty which is the person in charge to give us the wedding bride list (Because her father is late). She refused to release the list to me, she insisted na until we do introduction first. But we having been receiving different messages to keep this wedding ceremony low (We should not expose ourselves) as possible as we can which is why we decided to run both introduce, court wedding and traditional wedding under 1 weeks but the woman insist we must do introduction first, that the wedding date will be picked on the introduction day.

Now the main problem now is that my mum family don't want to agree to do things codedly because they are trying to drawn my father family (My daddy is late) side in which I was avoiding right from time. Going to village to inform my dad family about my wedding mean I m exposing myself to some battle and that is why I left village right from time (The last time I went home was 2015)

Now I was thinking since my mum family are not ready to understand my worry and fear, is there any way we can do only the court wedding without introduction ceremony and traditional wedding.

Like if there is a way to collect the wedding list then get the necessary items on the list then go to court to do our thing. Because I don't think I can risk it.

yommyk222:
Now I was thinking since my mum family are not ready to understand my worry and fear, is there any way we can do only the court wedding without introduction ceremony and traditional wedding.

Like if there is a way to collect the wedding list then get the necessary items on the list then go to court to do our thing. Because I don't think I can risk it.

Set an appointment at the appropriate marriage registrar. Fill out appropriate forms, sign and you are both married.

Kobojunkie:
Set an appointment at the appropriate marriage registrar. Fill out appropriate forms, sign and you are both married.

What about the bride price sir?
How can one settle that?

yommyk222:
What about the bride price sir?
How can one settle that?

The Bride price is what you pay to your inlaws, not to the court or registrar.

Found this link for you on how to register a marriage in Nigeria. Hope it helps. https://nigeria.embassy.gov.au/aaja/reg_marriage.html

yommyk222:
I don't know how to resolve this, I m planning to get married soon but the problem here is that things are very complicated at this point.

Firstly it was one of my fiance brother who was pastor that keep saying i can't marry her until I get personal confirmation (in form of dream) from God. Mind you I have pray about it from 3 different men of God and they confirmed this lady is my bone. Later he said I m a yahoo boy because I said I work online after we sort out that one it was my fiance aunty which is the person in charge to give us the wedding bride list (Because her father is late). She refused to release the list to me, she insisted na until we do introduction first. But we having been receiving different messages to keep this wedding ceremony low (We should not expose ourselves) as possible as we can which is why we decided to run both introduce, court wedding and traditional wedding under 1 weeks but the woman insist we must do introduction first, that the wedding date will be picked on the introduction day.

Now the main problem now is that my mum family don't want to agree to do things codedly because they are trying to drawn my father family (My daddy is late) side in which I was avoiding right from time. Going to village to inform my dad family about my wedding mean I m exposing myself to some battle and that is why I left village right from time (The last time I went home was 2015)

Now I was thinking since my mum family are not ready to understand my worry and fear, is there any way we can do only the court wedding without introduction ceremony and traditional wedding.

Like if there is a way to collect the wedding list then get the necessary items on the list then go to court to do our thing. Because I don't think I can risk it.

Which kind wahala be this ?

Since her family knows you and your mum have accepted her

Both of you should just start living and making babies

These are my reasons

Your father family is an issue because you are running away from them

The girl's family are putting you on a ride, simply because her dad is no more

Your mum doesn't want to reason with you

As soon as she is pregnant, so far the both of you have agreed, every tension will come down

Then they will accept whichever way you desire it to be
As a matter of fact, the cost will reduce then

yommyk222:
I don't know how to resolve this, I m planning to get married soon but the problem here is that things are very complicated at this point.

Firstly it was one of my fiance brother who was pastor that keep saying i can't marry her until I get personal confirmation (in form of dream) from God. Mind you I have pray about it from 3 different men of God and they confirmed this lady is my bone. Later he said I m a yahoo boy because I said I work online after we sort out that one it was my fiance aunty which is the person in charge to give us the wedding bride list (Because her father is late). She refused to release the list to me, she insisted na until we do introduction first. But we having been receiving different messages to keep this wedding ceremony low (We should not expose ourselves) as possible as we can which is why we decided to run both introduce, court wedding and traditional wedding under 1 weeks but the woman insist we must do introduction first, that the wedding date will be picked on the introduction day.

Now the main problem now is that my mum family don't want to agree to do things codedly because they are trying to drawn my father family (My daddy is late) side in which I was avoiding right from time. Going to village to inform my dad family about my wedding mean I m exposing myself to some battle and that is why I left village right from time (The last time I went home was 2015)

Now I was thinking since my mum family are not ready to understand my worry and fear, is there any way we can do only the court wedding without introduction ceremony and traditional wedding.

Like if there is a way to collect the wedding list then get the necessary items on the list then go to court to do our thing. Because I don't think I can risk it.

Everything is important depending on the way you both go about it.. You really need to talk to your mum and give her time to pray maybe she'll see what you are seeing.. Let her know that the peace of the marriage is the most important except she wants you to struggle for the rest of your life.. I almost had same challenge but thank God my mum understood plus I had lots of revelations (personally).
Hubby and I agreed the number of people from both families for intro which is not up to 10 each, we did the court marriage a year later in abj and fixed our trad on a Monday morning knowing fully well that it is an important work day.
The people you need to get through to are your mum as she'll get through to the family for you (my mum just told the head of my dad's family that the party is not elaborate and there's no need for sending delegates, thank God the man who stood as my dad was close to my family already so that wasn't a problem) and you fiancee, she'll get through to her family as she knows where she can hold them down. If she's not on your side to support you it won't work ooo.
Also make enquiries from people who come from the part of the country your lady comes from to know if the price is affordable or not so that you can prepare well. God will be with you.

Kobojunkie:
The Bride price is what you pay to your inlaws, not to the court or registrar.

Found this link for you on how to register a marriage in Nigeria. Hope it helps. https://nigeria.embassy.gov.au/aaja/reg_marriage.html

Yes it does, Thanks

frozen70:


Which kind wahala be this ?

Since her family knows you and your mum have accepted her

Both of you should just start living and making babies

These are my reasons

Your father family is an issue because you are running away from them

The girl's family are putting you on a ride, simply because her dad is no more

Your mum doesn't want to reason with you

As soon as she is pregnant, so far the both of you have agreed, every tension will come down

Then they will accept whichever way you desire it to be
As a matter of fact, the cost will reduce then

She will not agree to getting pregnant before marriage because of her christian background.

Omakraid:

Everything is important depending on the way you both go about it.. You really need to talk to your mum and give her time to pray maybe she'll see what you are seeing.. Let her know that the peace of the marriage is the most important except she wants you to struggle for the rest of your life.. I almost had same challenge but thank God my mum understood plus I had lots of revelations (personally).
Hubby and I agreed the number of people from both families for intro which is not up to 10 each, we did the court marriage a year later in abj and fixed our trad on a Monday morning knowing fully well that it is an important work day.
The people you need to get through to are your mum as she'll get through to the family for you (my mum just told the head of my dad's family that the party is not elaborate and there's no need for sending delegates, thank God the man who stood as my dad was close to my family already so that wasn't a problem) and you fiancee, she'll get through to her family as she knows where she can hold them down. If she's not on your side to support you it won't work ooo.
Also make enquiries from people who come from the part of the country your lady comes from to know if the price is affordable or not so that you can prepare well. God will be with you.

She is ready to support me and that is why we decided to settle on only Court wedding but the main challenge is that her aunty will not release the bride price list unless we do intro and I don't want to put someone daughter at home without paying on her

yommyk222:


She will not agree to getting pregnant before marriage because of her christian background.

Is alright, maybe you guys will be in friendship mode, but so far you are sleeping with her just do the needful

Stop listening to that your brother in-law who says you should pray and have dream before marrying your fiance. He is a confushionist and doesn't wish you well. You have already confirmed she's the right woman for you, so go ahead.

From your story, your family is proving difficult, your brides family is difficult, and even your mum is not listening to you to keep things low. Your mum is supposed to listen to you. From your message I can see that there is a spiritual angle to what you've tried to explain, but remember that marriage ceremony usually have process. Without introduction how will you settle list and pay bride price? So seek prayers and do the introduction. A low key introduction with a representative from father's side, mothers side etc, just few people, your mum is supposed to coordinate this. Then later do court marriage as well.

yommyk222:
I don't know how to resolve this, I m planning to get married soon but the problem here is that things are very complicated at this point.

Firstly it was one of my fiance brother who was pastor that keep saying i can't marry her until I get personal confirmation (in form of dream) from God. Mind you I have pray about it from 3 different men of God and they confirmed this lady is my bone. Later he said I m a yahoo boy because I said I work online after we sort out that one it was my fiance aunty which is the person in charge to give us the wedding bride list (Because her father is late). She refused to release the list to me, she insisted na until we do introduction first. But we having been receiving different messages to keep this wedding ceremony low (We should not expose ourselves) as possible as we can which is why we decided to run both introduce, court wedding and traditional wedding under 1 weeks but the woman insist we must do introduction first, that the wedding date will be picked on the introduction day.

Now the main problem now is that my mum family don't want to agree to do things codedly because they are trying to drawn my father family (My daddy is late) side in which I was avoiding right from time. Going to village to inform my dad family about my wedding mean I m exposing myself to some battle and that is why I left village right from time (The last time I went home was 2015)

Now I was thinking since my mum family are not ready to understand my worry and fear, is there any way we can do only the court wedding without introduction ceremony and traditional wedding.

Like if there is a way to collect the wedding list then get the necessary items on the list then go to court to do our thing. Because I don't think I can risk it.

Very possible..

Even your next neighbor will not even know.

yommyk222:
She will not agree to getting pregnant before marriage because of her christian background.

Do not do that foolishness to any woman you respect and love, Christian or not.

You must do the introduction depending on where you are marrying from. Explain to your fiancée's family that you want every process to be low-key.

Explain to your mum on the reason you want it so. Threaten her that she either supports your plan or you remain a bachelor.

Plead with your fiancée's family that you want all the customary processes to be done the same day so let them give you the list.

Hence you said that she is a good Christian, get her pastor involved.