School: Is a place where Papa pays and Son plays.

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life with a promise that you will die rich.

Nurse: A person who wakes you up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage: It’s an agreement between two persons, whereby a man loses his Bachelor’s degree and a woman obtains her Masters.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine waterpower.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the lecturer’s to the notes of the students without any of them passing through the mind of the other.

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Diplomacy: the art of doing and saying the nastiest thing in the nisest way.

Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.

Walahi: A deceitful way of saying na lie!

Women: A hairy bank (for men) where mutiple deposit and credit is allowed with no withdrawal slip on sight. i.e depositor have neither a right of withdrawal nor that of claim. (An Aron)

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Father: A banker provided by nature who gives without interest and expects no returns.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early, the owner of glory and distributor of blames.

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after election.

Doctor: A person who kills your pains by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile: A curve that can set a relax after your strenuous home life.

E.T.C.: A sign to make others believe that you actually know more or have than you do.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience: The name men give to deliberate mistakes.

Atomic Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during his life time, to be wise after death.

Interesting More pls.

Crazy definitions in deed!