Hello guys, with the increasing rate of single mothers or as it’s referred to “Baby Mama” in our society, has it been accepted a new reality where Men no longer see hopes in marriages and just father a Child without showing commitment toward the Woman involved or this new trend was adopted into our African society as a result of influence from the West.

From a score of our African celebrities down to our individual self, I’m sure we’ve seen the growing trend in single parenting when the Man only provides child support

Feel free to jump on this topic and express your understanding of this trend
P.s; Pardon any blunder
CC Seun
Mynd44
Lalasticlala

New reality for survival...using child support.

Here to read comments

It's a new reality difficult the accept. The marriage institution has been brought so low that it means nothing to most people especially those in it.

I think that people are accepting this new trend because it's easy, no hard work needed. Marriage is hard work, daily improvement and that is what most people don't want to put in.

I'm not married but I have seen a whole lot of things but I still believe there is an opportunity for change.

Remember, for every baby mama, there's a baby daddy...

Btw, marriage is over-rated... I want a kid with a really cool guy... But I got zero intention of getting married to him or her...

It just seems lame and old school...

I've never liked the idea of pledging myself to some dude and girl... Since I was little... And I definitely don't want anyone committing his/herself to me...

Because pussy is as cheap as pure water....toast a girl today,Bleep her tomorrow and she tell you she don't like condom!

donbachi:
New reality for survival...using child support.

I don't think so...this isn't the only reason...

I'll say, as a very young person...(I'm eighteen)...most of the youths don't find the idea of marriage as appealing as our parents...

Women for one are kicking against the notion that we're created to be wives and mothers... There are most career minded women... Who would choose being a CEO over being a housewife... For example...me!

As for men, they've never really been pressured to settle down... With their female counterparts being so non-chalant also... People are getting married less...

Less religious youths...

Social movements promoting 'choice'... Such as feminism...

The media

General lack of regard for our cultures... and societal norms...

Etc

uthlaw:
Because pussy is as cheap as pure water....toast a girl today,Bleep her tomorrow and she tell you she don't like condom!

Doesn't even relate!

She doesn't like condoms, doesn't mean she isn't using birth control or some other contraceptive!

Plus, her not liking condoms does not mean she wants to be a baby mama...

So your comment isn't reasonable...

Datboredberry:
I don't think so...this isn't the only reason...

I'll say, as a very young person...(I'm eighteen)...most of the youths don't find the idea of marriage as appealing as our parents...

Women for one are kicking against the notion that we're created to be wives and mothers... There are most career minded women... Who would choose being a CEO over being a housewife... For example...me!

As for men, they've never really been pressured to settle down... With their female counterparts being so non-chalant also... People are getting married less...

Less religious youths...

Social movements promoting 'choice'... Such as feminism...

The media

General lack of regard for our cultures... and societal norms...

Etc

Then,if they dont want to eat the forbidden fruit.they should stay away from the forbidden tree.

donbachi:
Then,if they dont want to eat the forbidden fruit.they should stay away from the forbidden tree.

They want it!

This isn't as case of getting pregnant accidentally...

lalasticlala

Datboredberry:
Doesn't even relate!

She doesn't like condoms, doesn't mean she isn't using birth control or some other contraceptive!

Plus, her not liking condoms does not mean she wants to be a baby mama...

So your comment isn't reasonable...

forget about the condom aspects.... Ladies loose to much this days....almost all d days from 19 above don turn single mother's chasing single guys DAT will be a father to a child that doesn't know is chat!

Opeyemiextra:
It's a new reality difficult the accept. The marriage institution has been brought so low that it means nothing to most people especially those in it.

I think that people are accepting this new trend because it's easy, no hard work needed. Marriage is hard work, daily improvement and that is what most people don't want to put in.

I'm not married but I have seen a whole lot of things but I still believe there is an opportunity for change.

@bold

Marriage is not hard work. The issue is that people who have no business getting married are the ones finding it to be hard work.

Imagine spending so much time and detail for a wedding and not the marriage. People don't know that marriage is a responsibility. They think it is just an avenue for lawful sex and e fulfilment of fantasy. Imagine a lady who jumps from one guy to the next richer guy. Such can never last in marriage. Someone who gets bored easily and is only after newest shiny toy will never be satisfied with one for the rest of his or her life.

Now, just because some people suffer in marriage does mean baby mama is the way out. Look at your popular singer with so many baby mamas, do you think he's happy? While he's away, some dude is busy sleeping with one of them while his baby is crying in another room. No loyalty in that kind of setting.

alBHAGDADI:


@bold

Marriage is not hard work. The issue is that people who have no business getting married are the ones finding it to be hard work.

Imagine spending so much time and detail for a wedding and not the marriage. People don't know that marriage is a responsibility. They think it is just an avenue for lawful sex and e fulfilment of fantasy. Imagine a lady who jumps from one guy to the next richer guy. Such can never last in marriage. Someone who gets bored easily and is only after newest shiny toy will never be satisfied with one for the rest of his or her life.

Now, just because some people suffer in marriage does mean baby mama is the way out. Look at your popular singer with so many baby mamas, do you think he's happy? While he's away, some dude is busy sleeping with one of them while his baby is crying in another room. No loyalty in that kind of setting.

It's a responsibility that you have to work at and towards. No home is built by the effort of one of the two parties involved.

Suffering in marriage is a different thing entirely. I'm talking about working for the success of a marriage which will come with continuous growth and sheddings too.

I'm not married so my understanding of it is limited.

Opeyemiextra:
It's a new reality difficult the accept. The marriage institution has been brought so low that it means nothing to most people especially those in it.

I think that people are accepting this new trend because it's easy, no hard work needed. Marriage is hard work, daily improvement and that is what most people don't want to put in.

I'm not married but I have seen a whole lot of things but I still believe there is an opportunity for change.

Well said

Datboredberry:
I don't think so...this isn't the only reason...

I'll say, as a very young person...(I'm eighteen)...most of the youths don't find the idea of marriage as appealing as our parents...

Women for one are kicking against the notion that we're created to be wives and mothers... There are most career minded women... Who would choose being a CEO over being a housewife... For example...me!

As for men, they've never really been pressured to settle down... With their female counterparts being so non-chalant also... People are getting married less...

Less religious youths...

Social movements promoting 'choice'... Such as feminism...

The media

General lack of regard for our cultures... and societal norms...

Etc

Well said

Everything tends to lose value at times, it's a merry go round, soon people will be sane again,na we be your best plug for everything sexual enhancement

It is essential for married women to stay in their marriage and make it work but it is not compulsory for unmarried baby mothers to marry their baby fathers.

Two people that met causally or that don't love each other, can have sex with each other and it will still lead to pregnancy. Asking baby fathers to marry their baby mothers means we want to increase the rate of infidelity. They are not bound under any law to get married.

Datboredberry:
I don't think so...this isn't the only reason...

I'll say, as a very young person...(I'm eighteen)...most of the youths don't find the idea of marriage as appealing as our parents...

Women for one are kicking against the notion that we're created to be wives and mothers... There are most career minded women... Who would choose being a CEO over being a housewife... For example...me!

As for men, they've never really been pressured to settle down... With their female counterparts being so non-chalant also... People are getting married less...

Less religious youths...

Social movements promoting 'choice'... Such as feminism...

The media

General lack of regard for our cultures... and societal norms...

Etc

Come back when you're 26 years. You're still a child

mk3jax:


Come back when you're 26 years. You're still a child

I was raised by a single mom... She taught me the value of love... Wants me to be married with kids etc...

But through her, I learnt independence... I ain't never lived with a man... So it's not something I look forward to doing or miss... It's an experience I've never had.... couldn't care less for marriage.

Besides, I answered the question truthfully... Marriage is irrelevant to so many now...

Datboredberry:
I was raised by a single mom... She taught me the value of love... Wants me to be married with kids etc...

But through her, I learnt independence... I ain't never lived with a man... So it's not something I look forward to doing or miss... It's an experience I've never had.... couldn't care less for marriage.

Besides, I answered the question truthfully... Marriage is irrelevant to so many now...

No truer words.

Tbh, that's just a new concept which might be very hard to accept but actually working in some instances.

Marriage is not for everyone. Infact, not everyone can cohabit with other gender

Mostly happened when dudes don't pay bride price.. staying together, confusing her about getting pregnant and wedding thereafter but most dude will japa afterwards

Datboredberry:
I was raised by a single mom... She taught me the value of love... Wants me to be married with kids etc...

But through her, I learnt independence... I ain't never lived with a man... So it's not something I look forward to doing or miss... It's an experience I've never had.... couldn't care less for marriage.

Besides, I answered the question truthfully... Marriage is irrelevant to so many now...

I understand that you have answered the question "correctly" as per your currently understanding of life which is ok.
I have a 25 years old friend who was like you when she was younger and always talking about nothing more than wanting to be a CEO bla bla. She is 25 today and have graduated from the University, works in a bank and talk of nothing more than getting married because according to her, "I am getting older and want a secured future". What this means in simple terms are (1) My beauty will not be like this forever so I do not expect to get same attention from guys as I used to (2) I want to have a/some child/ children and do not want to raise them alone because it is hardwork (3) Work is not as cool as I was brainwashed to believe. It is hard to wake up all your life and hustle just to survive. Also most men don't want to be a CEO and are forced to work just to provide for their family. They don't like work per say but have little or no option but to do it because they have to provide for their family.

I am not saying that you must marry but you're too young to understand why alot of women prioritize marriage like their life depend on it.
It goes more than culture because most baby mama in the west also wished to be married to the father of their children.

I am not so much a pro marriage person myself (even though I am married with 2 children), but I can guarantee you that a single mother will start loosing grip of their sons from around the age of 7. From around 8 years, most boys are basically out of control and there is nothing you can do to stop that. This is why alot of single mum start looking for the influence of a man to help tame the excess energy that comes with being a boy.

Why marriage is bad for men generally, it is the best way to have a sane society where both boys are girls are raised to be a more responsible members of society. It is more of a duty from a man and a woman, rather than a place where they both come to actualise their fantasies.

Also remember that women control access to sex, while men control access to marriage and relationship. A man will not commit to a relationship if he doesn't see a benefit down the line because he is expected to be a wallet for his wife and children till he dies. Many man cannot fulfil the wallet part in the modern depressed economy while many are also not willing to live with modern women because of the effect of feminism and legal consequence of a divorce (mostly in the west). These are the main reason why single motherhood is rising especially in Africa where we do not have any welfare system for single mum. Men are just not committing to marriage when a women get pregnant for them and the people that suffers most are the children.

Your mother gave you the advice she did because she knows what she went through to raise you alone.

mk3jax:

I understand that you have answered the question "correctly" as per your currently understanding of life which is ok.
I have a 25 years old friend who was like you when she was younger and always talking about nothing more than wanting to be a CEO bla bla. She is 26 today and have graduated from the University, works in a bank and talk of nothing more than getting married because according to her, "I am getting older and want a secured future". What this means in simple terms are (1) My beauty will not be like this forever so I do not expect to get same attention from guys as I used to (2) I want to have a/some child/ children and do not want to raise them alone because it is hardwork (3) Work is not as cool as I was brainwashed to believe. It is hard to wake up all your life and hustle just to survive. Also most men don't want to be a CEO and are forced to work just to provide for their family. The don't like work per say but have little or no option but to do it because they have to provide for their family.

I am not saying that you must marry but you're too young to understand why alot of women prioritize marriage like their life depend on it.
It goes more than culture because most baby mama in the west also wished to be married to the father of their children.

I am not so much a pro marriage person myself (even though I am married with 2 children), but I can guarantee you that a single mother will start loosing grip of their sons from around the age of 7. From around 8 years, most boys are basically out of control and there is nothing you can do to stop that. This is why alot of single mum start looking for the influence of a man to help tame the excess energy that comes with being a boy.

Why marriage is bad for men generally, it is the best way to have a sane society where both boys are girls are raised to be a more responsible members of society. It is more of a duty from a man and a woman and rather a place where they both come to actualise their fantasies.

Also remember that women control access to sex, while men control access to marriage and relationship. A man will not commit to a relationship if he doesn't see a benefit down the line because he is expected to be a wallet for his wife and children till he dies. Many man cannot fulfil the wallet part in the modern depressed economy while many are also not willing to live with modern women because of the effect of feminism and legal consequence of a divorce (mostly in the west). These are the main reason why single motherhood is rising especially in Africa where we do not have any welfare system for single mum. Men are just not committing to marriage when a women get pregnant for them and the people that suffers most are the children.

Your mother gave you the advice she did because she knows what she went through to raise you alone.

Well said, the load is just too much for the man.. the economy is not helping too