Just passing

Imagine if the first child dies and d vasectomy couldn't be fixed..

Nigerian woman at it again. You won't one child and you also want to seal up his chances of impregnating you or another woman in the future. Ha, fear God na. How would you feel if he suggest that your womb be removed as a way of birth control?

I swear you are insane.
If you still have father go to him and seek his opinion and stop disturbing our peace

Mercychen:


That youre not worth anything for a man to sacrifice for doesn't mean someone else is worthless. Ok?

Look at this one.
If that one child dies tomorrow, what will you do?
Why not remove your womb instead

Michelle55:
The truth is that you are simply selfish and there's no two ways about it. With all these set rules and regulations of yours, it's best if the guy opt out now or regret ever coming in contact with you later.

You didn't even suggest two kids but one, e be like dem dey worry you. You think being an only child is fun, come to me for classes as to know how I feel most times being an only child myself .

Abeg carry your holier than thou attitude go one side jare, mtcheew!

Not just selfish, the write-up shows her manipulative and controlling nature.

If she's being human and concerned about having more than one child, she can opt for tubal ligation.

If she later want another child or the only child dies, she can opt for IVF.

Kobojunkie:
According to whom?

wellbeing and mental state of the child, its gonna be downing and depressing on the poor kid when he/she sees friends with siblings and the things they do for each other,sharing family responsibilities etc. Single children are always known to be withdrawn (isolated),depressed and clingy, it gets worse if the parents are rarely there in their life. Is that the Kind of life u would like for ur child?

Mercychen:
Hi fam.

Something has been bothering me of late and leaving me emotionally and mentally stressed and drained for the past weeks and I'm cut between the devil and the deep blue sea.

There's this bro we're trying to see if we can work things out. though, I never really wanted anything relationship again or at least for now until I'm decided later in the future on what I really want for myself.

Before, I delve into the main discuss , let
me quickly highlight how it all started.

Some months back, My publisher came to deliver the books I ordered for. So while sorting the books, he just got teasing me like " Babes, na wa o. What's up with your romantic life now?. I've never seen you pulling with anyone. It's always work, biz Money money money I see you pursuing. Lol... I just told him, guy, free me abeg and I went on counting the books at the boot of his car.

He now walked up to me and said, on a more serious note, what is happening? So I told him it's a personal choice cos I dont have the strength for relationship brouhaha now. He agreed with me that truly its not easy and even as a married man, he too feels the heat but the good thing is, he married in the Lord. So I should choose wisely from among the brethren.

So he said, he has this family friend, an eligible bachelor, who wants a decent lady and I'm the one that comes to mind each time the guy mentions it because since he's be dealing with me, he can vouch that I'm a very honest, hard-working and decent lady. So he would want the bro to have me.
That was how I got to meet bro.

Now fastforward to the main reason of this post.
There was this particular day we tripped out to cool off and discuss about US. So we got talking and planning on how to build our home in a way that we will not be caught unawares with some setbacks and unplanned responsibilities. So the issue of children came up and I suggested we have only one, which he reluctantly accepted after much convincing. So we tried to look at ways we can maintain that decision and I suggested a vasectomy. citing the possibilities of health risks (as a result of mismatches ) and failures that might occur if the family planning is done on me but with vasectomy, no issues. He looked me in the eyes and said, "my darling" no!

I was dumbfounded.... And became a little worried because, if he has no plans of having more children, why would he kick against the idea of a vasectomy?

If we are going to be one and follow one course, why shying away from a plan that will benefit us as a couple and a family?


Could it be, he only agreed to have one with me and plans to have more else where?
Is vasectomy a life threatening condition?

I was still trying to wrap my head around his refusal, when he said, it will be done on you ( the family planning). That instant, I felt all alone, like im on my own. So I told him I needed to cool off, and he said feel free.
I left the tent and went to the waters prentending to be playing with the water. He came and dragged me out of the water. we strolled without a word and I asked him to take me home. He did.

He called when he got home. I was cold to him so, he promised to call again but since then Ive refused to pick his calls or reply his texts.

The big question is ..
WHY DID HE BLUNTLY REFUSE A VASECTOMY?

COULD HE HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES?

IS IT NOT BETTER TO OPT OUT NOW THAN PRETEND I DIDN'T GET THE MESSAGE AND END UP IN REGRETS?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN A MAN KICKS AGAINST VASECTOMY?

Vasectomy discussion and you are not married? Red Flag what if you die ? how does he plan another family ? It's too risky or what if the one child dies. I don't think you've clearly thought about it. massive Red flag from you

In all ur stories! U are good, honest hard working and the book delivery man introduced u to his bro.
U should have told the delivery man the following:
I am selfish
I am wicked
I can wipe a whole lineage from the surface of this earth and finally
I cant marry in this world.


Let me add.
The guy calls y to pretend he is not the one trying to break up with u.

He broke up with u the very moment u mentioned he should have a vasectomy. All the calls is to break up with u in peace.
I do it a lot and most men do it. They see ur rubbish and pretend they are still with u.
The guy don Japa.
U are getting to 40yrs soon. Menopause will help u with ur dream life.

Mercychen:


A slight twist you call it but I've heard of so many women who later had issues with family planning they did.

It's easier for the men because their system is not so complex like that of women.



We already discussed about all the other methods especially condom and he said, for how long is he going to be using condom on his life time wife. He already kicked against the idea.

Woh, I'm tired.

Apart from number of children, marriage presents so many other issues that it becomes a miracle for marriage to last up to a year in this century.
That said, should there be a breakup between you in the nearest future, what becomes his fate?
Every surgical procedure comes with its risk. Ascertaining that men's bodies are not complicated is plain selfish.
Blocking the fallopian tubes surgically can solve this issue if you truly love this guy, but that wasn't even suggested.

Kobojunkie:
Why do you assume she shot herself in the foot though. I mean if I am in a relationship and I want one and only one kid, what is selfish about making that known to my partner?

From what she relayed, things were already flowing between them - he even called her "darling" - before she made her intentions known. Was she supposed to maybe wait till the night before their wedding to get it out or something? I mean when exactly will be more appropriate to let you partner know of a thing like this?

Well, they were having the conversation so he revealed what he wanted and she said what she preferred and argued for it. Isn't that how you reach agreements in any relationship?

What is wrong with a vasectomy? I read somewhere that the cost is around N 100,000 and it is reversible with less side-effects. What other family planning method comes close for couples who are serious and in it for the long haul?

Guy stop dishing out your ignorance with reckless abandon, most of tour assertions here were built from heresay and I heard, I never saw where you wrote about doing any independent research to know whatsup about vasectomy.

For all I know you are same person as the OP and these your fictitious story is lame and stale. You are gauging how serious your selfishness and wickedness is; it is way above average and tying up or removing the womb is not life threatening and not even a major surgery. My mother did it when fibroid was disturbing her and she already had four of us, so advise yourself to do same if you want only one child and leave the man alone.

nellyelitz:
You're the one that doesn't want more than one child, so why do u want to have him steriled instead doing that on ur womb. Anyway, u're a good fiction writer though.

The poster is a devil,she's really to destroy the guys life
The guy in question should run as fast as he can

.

Mercychen:
Hi fam.

Something has been bothering me of late and leaving me emotionally and mentally stressed and drained for the past weeks and I'm cut between the devil and the deep blue sea.

There's this bro we're trying to see if we can work things out. though, I never really wanted anything relationship again or at least for now until I'm decided later in the future on what I really want for myself.

Before, I delve into the main discuss , let
me quickly highlight how it all started.

Some months back, My publisher came to deliver the books I ordered for. So while sorting the books, he just got teasing me like " Babes, na wa o. What's up with your romantic life now?. I've never seen you pulling with anyone. It's always work, biz Money money money I see you pursuing. Lol... I just told him, guy, free me abeg and I went on counting the books at the boot of his car.

He now walked up to me and said, on a more serious note, what is happening? So I told him it's a personal choice cos I dont have the strength for relationship brouhaha now. He agreed with me that truly its not easy and even as a married man, he too feels the heat but the good thing is, he married in the Lord. So I should choose wisely from among the brethren.

So he said, he has this family friend, an eligible bachelor, who wants a decent lady and I'm the one that comes to mind each time the guy mentions it because since he's be dealing with me, he can vouch that I'm a very honest, hard-working and decent lady. So he would want the bro to have me.
That was how I got to meet bro.

Now fastforward to the main reason of this post.
There was this particular day we tripped out to cool off and discuss about US. So we got talking and planning on how to build our home in a way that we will not be caught unawares with some setbacks and unplanned responsibilities. So the issue of children came up and I suggested we have only one, which he reluctantly accepted after much convincing. So we tried to look at ways we can maintain that decision and I suggested a vasectomy. citing the possibilities of health risks (as a result of mismatches ) and failures that might occur if the family planning is done on me but with vasectomy, no issues. He looked me in the eyes and said, "my darling" no!

I was dumbfounded.... And became a little worried because, if he has no plans of having more children, why would he kick against the idea of a vasectomy?

If we are going to be one and follow one course, why shying away from a plan that will benefit us as a couple and a family?


Could it be, he only agreed to have one with me and plans to have more else where?
Is vasectomy a life threatening condition?

I was still trying to wrap my head around his refusal, when he said, it will be done on you ( the family planning). That instant, I felt all alone, like im on my own. So I told him I needed to cool off, and he said feel free.
I left the tent and went to the waters prentending to be playing with the water. He came and dragged me out of the water. we strolled without a word and I asked him to take me home. He did.

He called when he got home. I was cold to him so, he promised to call again but since then Ive refused to pick his calls or reply his texts.

The big question is ..
WHY DID HE BLUNTLY REFUSE A VASECTOMY?

COULD HE HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES?

IS IT NOT BETTER TO OPT OUT NOW THAN PRETEND I DIDN'T GET THE MESSAGE AND END UP IN REGRETS?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN A MAN KICKS AGAINST VASECTOMY?

,
BTL like vasectomy is safe with extremely low failure rate, you should do it and free the young man.

His balls, his choice. If he doesn't want to, he has the right to say no unless if you want to force him.

nellyelitz:
You're the one that doesn't want more than one child, so why do u want to have him steriled instead doing that on ur womb. Anyway, u're a good fiction writer though.

Good point, you are the one pushing for only 1 child and whatever your reason is only you know, why then push the whole responsibility for doing it on the man?! It shows how very selfish you are. You came up with the idea for your own reasons and convinced him with difficulty to accept that he can only have 1 child, you went ahead to ask him to be the one to sacrifice his manhood so you can achieve your objective?!

Is vasectomy reversible?

Can a Vasectomy Be Reversed?
Sometimes. But reversing a vasectomy isn’t easy and doesn’t always work. Don’t get the procedure unless you're sure you won’t want to father children in the future.
SOURCE webmd

Does this not look much a risk? Are you not being selfish too on your part that you couldn't ask why he kicked against vasectomy? We don't pray for death but it happens. What happens if you lose your only child? We don't pray for such but if you are being objective, you have to consider all those options as well.

vibratingpenis:


Guy stop dishing out your ignorance with reckless abandon, most of tour assertions here were built from heresay and I heard, I never saw where you wrote about doing any independent research to know whatsup about vasectomy.

For all I know you are same person as the OP and these your fictitious story is lame and stale. You are gauging how serious your selfishness and wickedness is; it is way above average and tying up or removing the womb is not life threatening and not even a major surgery. My mother did it when fibroid was disturbing her and she already had four of us, so advise yourself to do same if you want only one child and leave the man alone.

@ your 2nd paragraph, you're right. But I think the fellow is a she, prolly a bitter feminist.

There are people who shouldn't be exposed to education because even if you give them the best of it they will misconstrue it, it will end up like giving a mentally unstable person a javelin to hold. @ OP, you're ridiculously below 10years in maturity, especially when it comes to real understanding and handling of core issues of life. Anyone settling down with you must be ready to receive and revel in your abundant superfluity of naughtiness. Kindly change your mindset and mentality and grow to become a real woman to be held in honour by her husband and those around you, rather than create a path of ease and least resistances for yourself in life. To achieve this you must remove every barrier of uncertainty keeping you in bondage to perpetual self preservation and management even against common sense, and stick out your neck in readiness to giving life all it takes to discover yourself a new. Remember to live is to die!

I actually saw this thread when she just posted but didn't bother to respond because I thought she was mad. Now, seeing all her replies, I don't only think she is mad, I think she is a witch. A big black entitled and selfish witch. This is the more reason why we the good people of this platform will have to comment.

In everything the OP has written, there is no place where what the man wanted was mentioned.
1. The OP wants one child. The man reluctantly agreed just because he loves her. She didn't even say two. Even America sef, couples still have two to three children.
2. The OP still wants the man to be castrated. Ah! My people is this not witchcraft? Why didn't she go and donate her womb to her village people?
Without putting into consideration what the man needs are, she is distancing herself from him and making him look bad.
Did she request that they have at most two kids and the man refused?
This is the same lady that broke up with her all in one boyfriend just because she found shower nets abi caps in his wardrobe even though the guy was a procurement officer in a very big hotel.

My good people of Nairaland, I want you to pray in whatever you believe in. Pray for that young man. That whatever veil covering him that is making him to keep calling the OP should be burnt.

This is witchcraft in the highest order.

Tueh!

Kobojunkie:
Why do you assume she shot herself in the foot though. I mean if I am in a relationship and I want one and only one kid, what is selfish about making that known to my partner?

From what she relayed, things were already flowing between them - he even called her "darling" - before she made her intentions known. Was she supposed to maybe wait till the night before their wedding to get it out or something? I mean when exactly will be more appropriate to let you partner know of a thing like this?

Well, they were having the conversation so he revealed what he wanted and she said what she preferred and argued for it. Isn't that how you reach agreements in any relationship?

What is wrong with a vasectomy? I read somewhere that the cost is around N 100,000 and it is reversible with less side-effects. What other family planning method comes close for couples who are serious and in it for the long haul?

You are everywhere, on all threads. How jobless can someone be?

efighter:


This one is a traitor among men, and traitors die miserably

This one wants to cry because he couldn't understand my write-up.

Mercychen:
Hi fam.

Something has been bothering me of late and leaving me emotionally and mentally stressed and drained for the past weeks and I'm cut between the devil and the deep blue sea.

There's this bro we're trying to see if we can work things out. though, I never really wanted anything relationship again or at least for now until I'm decided later in the future on what I really want for myself.

Before, I delve into the main discuss , let
me quickly highlight how it all started.

Some months back, My publisher came to deliver the books I ordered for. So while sorting the books, he just got teasing me like " Babes, na wa o. What's up with your romantic life now?. I've never seen you pulling with anyone. It's always work, biz Money money money I see you pursuing. Lol... I just told him, guy, free me abeg and I went on counting the books at the boot of his car.

He now walked up to me and said, on a more serious note, what is happening? So I told him it's a personal choice cos I dont have the strength for relationship brouhaha now. He agreed with me that truly its not easy and even as a married man, he too feels the heat but the good thing is, he married in the Lord. So I should choose wisely from among the brethren.

So he said, he has this family friend, an eligible bachelor, who wants a decent lady and I'm the one that comes to mind each time the guy mentions it because since he's be dealing with me, he can vouch that I'm a very honest, hard-working and decent lady. So he would want the bro to have me.
That was how I got to meet bro.

Now fastforward to the main reason of this post.
There was this particular day we tripped out to cool off and discuss about US. So we got talking and planning on how to build our home in a way that we will not be caught unawares with some setbacks and unplanned responsibilities. So the issue of children came up and I suggested we have only one, which he reluctantly accepted after much convincing. So we tried to look at ways we can maintain that decision and I suggested a vasectomy. citing the possibilities of health risks (as a result of mismatches ) and failures that might occur if the family planning is done on me but with vasectomy, no issues. He looked me in the eyes and said, "my darling" no!

I was dumbfounded.... And became a little worried because, if he has no plans of having more children, why would he kick against the idea of a vasectomy?

If we are going to be one and follow one course, why shying away from a plan that will benefit us as a couple and a family?


Could it be, he only agreed to have one with me and plans to have more else where?
Is vasectomy a life threatening condition?

I was still trying to wrap my head around his refusal, when he said, it will be done on you ( the family planning). That instant, I felt all alone, like im on my own. So I told him I needed to cool off, and he said feel free.
I left the tent and went to the waters prentending to be playing with the water. He came and dragged me out of the water. we strolled without a word and I asked him to take me home. He did.

He called when he got home. I was cold to him so, he promised to call again but since then Ive refused to pick his calls or reply his texts.

The big question is ..
WHY DID HE BLUNTLY REFUSE A VASECTOMY?

COULD HE HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES?

IS IT NOT BETTER TO OPT OUT NOW THAN PRETEND I DIDN'T GET THE MESSAGE AND END UP IN REGRETS?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN A MAN KICKS AGAINST VASECTOMY?

You are a very selfish and wicked soul. That bro must leave. You are very wicked.

I blame men that can not open their mouth n tell you to your mother's face that you are a foolish fool for daring to think of this as an option to having a child. If the fool you talked about had balls to give you a dirty slap or told you the first time you mentioned it am sure you will never have the audacity to bring it here or tell any other man.

Mercychen:

UDUJ:


You are everywhere, on all threads. How jobless can someone be?

Jobless enough for someone jobless like you to notice that.

Na Mercy make una dey get headache? Lol
Someone that would move on to the next cruise by tomorrow. Truthsayer009 what is your opinion on this?

Born2winKingOG:

you be sîmp for life

Just like your father, you've got no good upbringing and just like your mother, you've got an uncouth mouth.

MufasaLion:



Jobless enough for someone jobless like you to notice that.

I wouldn't be surprised if you and the jobless fellow are one and the same. Afterall an average jobless nairalander has more than one moniker. You've been noticed. Now get the fvck off my mentions. Last response to you

To all feminist on this NL, you're fighting for something useless and aimless

UDUJ:


I wouldn't be surprised if you and the jobless fellow are one and the same. Afterall an average jobless nairalander has more than one moniker. You've been noticed. Now get the fvck off my mentions. Last response to you

Lol

Please, don't put me in this your multiple moniker theory. Be logical!

You don't have enough information about vasectomy then. The longer it takes, the less possible it is to reverse. If she truly wants it then she should work on her own self. There are other family planning methods such as usage of spermicide that they can opt for, but telling her partner to undergo such invasive procedure is selfish of her. I'm sure she's scared of the repercussions of FP that's why she wants the man to undergo the procedure.

Kobojunkie:
Why do you assume she shot herself in the foot though. I mean if I am in a relationship and I want one and only one kid, what is selfish about making that known to my partner?

From what she relayed, things were already flowing between them - he even called her "darling" - before she made her intentions known. Was she supposed to maybe wait till the night before their wedding to get it out or something? I mean when exactly will be more appropriate to let you partner know of a thing like this?

Well, they were having the conversation so he revealed what he wanted and she said what she preferred and argued for it. Isn't that how you reach agreements in any relationship?

What is wrong with a vasectomy? I read somewhere that the cost is around N 100,000 and it is reversible with less side-effects. What other family planning method comes close for couples who are serious and in it for the long haul?