MMotimo:


I know you didn’t ask me but permit me to respond to this.

There might be exceptions but I believe that zero beating would work well for the vast majority of kids if parents provided adequate support in other areas. From personal experience, we’ve practiced almost zero beating in raising our kids. Each child has probably only received one or two spankings in their lifetimes and they were all thanks to me. A big part of the lack of spanking with our kids is that they easily responded to verbal reprimands so any spanking would have been overkill. Beating is often more an expression of a parent’s frustration.

I have come to interpret the “spare the rod, spoil the child “ in a non literal manner. The rod , IMO, is not just a physical cane, it is all the things you can “spare” that can end up damaging a child’s psyche. Moral, emotional, spiritual, financial support are all “rods” that parents cannot afford to spare in order to avoid damaging “spoiling” the child and creating monsters. Our society is quick to jump on the literal, popular meaning while neglecting a slew of other supports needed to raise well-adjusted kids that are not “spoilt.” Spoiling the child is not only avoided by spanking. Actual progress is supplying what it takes to parent a child in all spheres. For example, spanking a child for chronic theft makes no sense if you have not provided food and the basic necessities PLUS taught the concept of contentment.

As for strangers correcting, depends on the type of correction. Physical is an absolute no-no. I would never put my hands on someone’s kids, even nieces and nephews and I expect others to keep their hand off my kids. With that said, depending on the circumstances and the age of the child, I might say something but never to a child whose parents I do not know unless it was a controlled setting like me teaching in a Sunday school class or some other sort of parent supervision setting where I’m volunteering. I would not reprimand the child of a total stranger outside of those settings.

I love it!

Hathor5:
It is best to do without beating but I can understand when parents reach their limit and out of frustration spank a toddler mildly. Kids can drive you crazy when you are stressed. It should be an exception though. The spanking is a symptom here that something is out of order and not a sensible solution.

I think the 'spare the rod, spoil the child' phrase has been abused for too long and is an excuse for parents to be lazy and abusive in their parenting style.

A stranger can correct a child as in reprimand it but should never lay his or her hands on someone else's child.

Hmm. Thank you for your response. I was more or less expecting your own interpretation, with being a Christian and it being in the Bible ... like you do you understand it? How do you do it? Oh. It seems you agree with MMot.imo's non-literal interpretation. But anyway, it's good.

MMotimo:
I know you didn’t ask me but permit me to respond to this.

There might be exceptions but I believe that zero beating would work well for the vast majority of kids if parents provided adequate support in other areas. From personal experience, we’ve practiced almost zero beating in raising our kids. Each child has probably only received one or two spankings in their lifetimes and they were all thanks to me. A big part of the lack of spanking with our kids is that they easily responded to verbal reprimands so any spanking would have been overkill. Beating is often more an expression of a parent’s frustration.

I have come to interpret the “spare the rod, spoil the child “ in a non literal manner. The rod , IMO, is not just a physical cane, it is all the things you can “spare” that can end up damaging a child’s psyche. Moral, emotional, spiritual, financial support are all “rods” that parents cannot afford to spare in order to avoid damaging “spoiling” the child and creating monsters. Our society is quick to jump on the literal, popular meaning while neglecting a slew of other supports needed to raise well-adjusted kids that are not “spoilt.” Spoiling the child is not only avoided by spanking. Actual progress is supplying what it takes to parent a child in all spheres. For example, spanking a child for chronic theft makes no sense if you have not provided food and the basic necessities PLUS taught the concept of contentment.

As for strangers correcting, depends on the type of correction. Physical is an absolute no-no. I would never put my hands on someone’s kids, even nieces and nephews and I expect others to keep their hand off my kids. With that said, depending on the circumstances and the age of the child, I might say something but never to a child whose parents I do not know unless it was a controlled setting like me teaching in a Sunday school class or some other sort of parent supervision setting where I’m volunteering. I would not reprimand the child of a total stranger outside of those settings.

Thank you as well. This is a great response and I love it. This is more of what I've been trying to understand. I like the non-literal perspective. Because it was kind of confusing to me. Is the Bible advocating for caning? Beating kids? Does that mean it works? I know people have definitely abused that phrase, I just didn't know what to make of it anymore. How to put it in its right context and perspective, so this interpretation of yours is one for me.

The other responses on zero beating and correcting a stranger's child are insightful too. Thanks again.

I know� that we are all angry, but the parents are to be blamed also, all this parents that send like 3 of thier children in one process or one school the last child will never have a say, the parents noticed that the boy stopped talking to then and begged them to change his school, but lai lai since obi, Cristi and peter and so finished that school or process, he can not be the one to change it,
That was the same way i was trained at home as the last born oooo, my senior ones have already gone through process and I dare not change it,

I don't know who taught us all this things., the father also on seeing the boys behaviour said that , it is good that the boy is no longer playful like before joining the school, my brother let your child play oiiiiiiiiii, it is his time for that

Blame the students that killed another student!

WTF!

They must face justice

It always starts with bad parenting! This is why I would rather my kids have their education at home all thanks to the internet, the cost effectiveness of constructing a library over paying tuition for a child to get nonsense education and presence of certifying institutes everywhere. Instead of exposing ones child to harmful peer pressure and archaic profit oriented education institutions, the child will study at home, do GCE O/A levels, jump into the practice of his or her field of endeavor whilst leveraging certifying institutes (ICAN/ACCA for accounting, City Guilds for technical engineering experience, Oracle for Java programming, Cisco for computer networking, RSS for Statistics, Microsoft/Amazon for AI, ML and Data Science etc)... this is a better pathway than exposing your child to expensive, trashy secondary/tertiary education and expose your child to harmful peer influence from classmates with zero home training.
Traditional schooling nowadays is a scam.

ModelLook:
Looking at this Dowen College Saga.

How these evil young secondary school boys run a CULT group in the school and killed an innocent JSS1 boy.

How the parents quickly hide them from persecution.

How the school are covering the story up and hiding the identity of the boys and parents.

I am beginning to wonder, who is to blame for this whole situation.

Is it THE PARENTS OR THE SCHOOL?

Some people say Bad Parenting is the genesis of it all because if the parents are training their children well, small secondary school kids of ages 11 to 16 shouldn't know anything that has to do with CULTISM at that age.

Some say Bad School training is the genesis. That the school is meant to train the students well and eradicate anything unlawfull in it. After all, the parents are paying huge sums of money for that.

Some say none are to blame?

After all, Train up a Child in the way he should go.

To you, who is to blame in this case. Is it Bad Parenting or Bad School Training

What are your thoughts?

Bad parenting is the issue here, the responsibility of a child falls mostly with the parents as the buck stops with them. The parents have more contact hours with the children than the schools as the school can only do so much. However, the school is culpable here by not accepting responsibility and worse hiding the identities of the criminals (and yes they are) and their parents.

The school or parent can only do their best and the rest is left to God and the child

Y are we looking for who to blame?

Bad parenting is the cause. A well trained child will not think of murder.
For instance, A teacher got beaten to death by a SS3 Student in Delta State just because the teacher flogged his Sister. Should I blame the school for the action of that SS3 Student? No!

School did not teach them all those nonsense.

Bad patenting is worse. If the school isn't good, you could withdraw your child and enroll him/her elsewhere

ModelLook:
Looking at this Dowen College Saga.

How these evil young secondary school boys run a CULT group in the school and killed an innocent JSS1 boy.

How the parents quickly hide them from persecution.

How the school are covering the story up and hiding the identity of the boys and parents.

I am beginning to wonder, who is to blame for this whole situation.

Is it THE PARENTS OR THE SCHOOL?

Some people say Bad Parenting is the genesis of it all because if the parents are training their children well, small secondary school kids of ages 11 to 16 shouldn't know anything that has to do with CULTISM at that age.

Some say Bad School training is the genesis. That the school is meant to train the students well and eradicate anything unlawfull in it. After all, the parents are paying huge sums of money for that.

Some say none are to blame?

After all, Train up a Child in the way he should go.

To you, who is to blame in this case. Is it Bad Parenting or Bad School Training

What are your thoughts?

You have a point sir.
Here are the criminals:
JOSEPH BENJAMIN
MICHAEL KASHAMI
ANSLEM TEMILE
And two others

Honestly it’s a Mix of both and the owner of that school should be Named immediately. They should stop Handling this Matter with Kid gloves.

All this blame game aren't the solution rather an advocacy against bullying would help... Anyone who get bullied obviously would try to get his pound of flesh by bullying others... so what is important is to change the mindset through advocacy in schools around the country and putting proper policies and counselling unit... which means students should be more accessible and have better relationship with their principal, teachers etc

It is bad parenting.

A lot of parents have become lazy, they don't parent at all o my to pawn off their kids to boarding schools hoping teachers will help fix the children they broke.

Those children end up corrupting some who were brought up well.

The most common place to find these poorly raised kids are religious schools.

All things things have been happening in boarding schools.. And most of we 90's kids know this..

I think going back 6 to 7 years ago..
Boarding houses were worse than this..

I remember how they used to beat one boy in empty classes anytime dey want to make a point..

We remember how school vs school fights used to be back in the days..

Saying bowen is the problem is very far from it..

They kids that were raised back then in the early 2000's are the parents of now..

The monster of old have given birth to new monsters..

It will only get worse

.9

I blame bad parenting quote author=ModelLook post=108199730]Looking at this Dowen College Saga.

How these evil young secondary school boys run a CULT group in the school and killed an innocent JSS1 boy.

How the parents quickly hide them from persecution.

How the school are covering the story up and hiding the identity of the boys and parents.

I am beginning to wonder, who is to blame for this whole situation.

Is it THE PARENTS OR THE SCHOOL?

Some people say Bad Parenting is the genesis of it all because if the parents are training their children well, small secondary school kids of ages 11 to 16 shouldn't know anything that has to do with CULTISM at that age.

Some say Bad School training is the genesis. That the school is meant to train the students well and eradicate anything unlawfull in it. After all, the parents are paying huge sums of money for that.

Some say none are to blame?

After all, Train up a Child in the way he should go.

To you, who is to blame in this case. Is it Bad Parenting or Bad School Training

What are your thoughts?[/quote]

So sad

School to be blamed

The teachers especially After all the large money paid as school fees


They are not close to the students

Bad parenting contributes 70% of a child's behaviour

brain54:

Getting justice for the innocent life cut short is what matters right now. A thorough investigation should be done and all those found culpable should face the law.

I kid you not, those culprits will get away with it in this lawless country

Bad parenting!

Apart from parenting, a Secondary School should have basic standards especially if it has to do with boarding schools.....

I will give the school the whole blame, every dormitory block MUST have a Master, who must not leave the premises of that block at any time.
He stays as a watchman, parades both around and inside the dormitory within hours or minutes and answers to any call from the students , even a scream from a student should wake him up .....

Immediately after light out, all students MUST be sleeping ....

There are strict rules in a boarding school but is obvious this school lacks or not up the standards.

I can't push it to bad parenting because I have seen some parents that are tired of their kids, and are looking for good strict schools to rehabilitate their kids, and they do inform the school about the behavior of the kids before enrolling them....

In the case of Dowen I do blame the school..firstly is a boarding school, the student spend most of their time in school than to house, it easier to fish out bad eggs from school, the school is suppose to have being noticing the bad eggs character since education encompass both modelling of knowledge and character, if u see a cultist most especially young cultists is easy to know..beside is not a public that as lots of population...

Both.

More than anything, the home is the first place a child receives training, so the children alleged to have killed him didn't have any from the home. If they did, they would not have done what they are being alleged to have done.

For Sylvester, as the day goes by, I am starting to see more and more negligence on the part of his parents. They appear like the everyday absentee rich parents who send their kids to rich schools and hardly pay attention to them. Your child reported that he was being bullied, and you didn't take strong action until it got to the point of him being killed?

The school also holds a large chunk of the blame because a school should be a safe zone. And I am not sure if the school has a strong anti bullying policy in place. And a school like that should also have CCTV cameras all over the compound.

Both the parents and the school failed him.

Both are to be blame

Mrviktor:
All things things have been happening in boarding schools.. And most of we 90's kids know this..

I think going back 6 to 7 years ago..
Boarding houses were worse than this..

I remember how they used to beat one boy in empty classes anytime dey want to make a point..

We remember how school vs school fights used to be back in the days..

Saying bowen is the problem is very far from it..

They kids that were raised back then in the early 2000's are the parents of now..

The monster of old have given birth to new monsters..

It will only get worse

What are you saying biko? Kids of 2000s are today's parents

You funny no be small

Parents are to blame, if you have worked in a boarding school before you’ll know it’s not easy especially this rich private schools, I had to run from the one I was working in Lokoja recently

Peebaby93:
I blame both the school and the parent.
Firstly the parent..how will your child school call you to come pick up your child that he broke his leg,on getting to the school you were met with how sylvester was looking and you kept quiet? Until the child died you now came out to speak up.all through the term,did you not go to check up on the child welfare? As a prayerful parent God must have shown you that something is wrong but you ignored cos of chasing money for big fees.



Secondly the school....how can a school tell me that they didn't know that students practices cultism inside it premises.how can the school say they don't know this kids? where the hostel keepers, cleaners,teachers etc not hearing the shout and cry of that child when they tortured him?....the school needs proper investigation



And as for those erring kids whom their parents are shielding..the table will turn and they will be the next victims since they couldn't correct their kids.


We will give account one day

I don't need to write anything again...

ModelLook:


But if the Parents had trained their children well from the start, don't you think there won't be anything like CULTISM being practised by them in the first place.

After all, charity begins at home.

A well brought up child shouldn't even think of anything related to Cultism at that age.

How can you define “a well trained child”? Or “a well brought up child”? Do you have a child or do you have children?

See, it is one thing for parents to give their best providing all the needs of the children, ensuring also that they get quality education. Parents do the “talking to” the children, praying, guiding them and ensuring that they do not go with bad company. The next thing is for the child to follow the guiding of their parents, ensuring that they do not fall into those pitfalls.

The moment the children leave their homes to school, they meet friends, teachers and other members of the society who may negatively impact them. Once they get influenced by these people, they are lost. Now the school or society want to lay the blame on the table of the parents for the failure. A “well brought up child” can get into cultism if their school fails in its duty of protecting the child while at school. It is no longer a secret that schools are breeding grounds for cultism and other societal vices. Schools are places where children are polluted easily.

Why do parents pay millions in school fees or send their children abroad? It is to give them quality education and quality lives. The lot falls on the school that sets their fees very high to ensure certain measures for the security and ease of learning for the children are in place.

Both