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I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! - Romance - Nairaland

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"We Need Marriage But Men Are Scared To Come"... Pretty Lawyer / Ladies, No Matter How Hot A Nigerian Guy Is, Never Ask Him Out / My Ex Girlfriend Is Happily Getting Married.help!! (2) (3) (4)

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I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by ngoziwrites(f): 11:15am On Dec 07, 2021
So, I met this great guy online. After 2 weeks, we met in person and everything was perfect.

It's almost 2 months since we have been together.

He asked me out while we were together and I gladly said yes. (I have met a lot of players�). So while we were together, a discussion popped up and he said he can't discuss anything related to marriage until after 6 months. I pretended not to hear.


I don't know his financial capacity but I know he is doing okay. He controls the family business. They sell trucks, trailers and all. He is also a landlord in one of his father's houses at Festac. We stayed at a hotel. 25k per night. He paid for 2 night and I paid for one night. But during these times, we went to his house.

He said he didn't want me to come to see his place because it's the first time. And he said the house is very hot too.


Our communication is great but he doesn't look like he wants marriage soon. He has said things like marriage is hard work. He has also said in 10 years time, people will hardly be getting married.

Then one night, we were talking and he said I "see my wife as my responsibility"
I will take care of her and of cos, I am okay but I will still be very very rich, so I can't bring in any woman to suffer now" .. That's what I am sure I heard but I was scared to ask him to explain further or repeat himself.

He is actually okay, he has two cars but importantly, he has sense and he is very hard-working. But he is very principled and we have actually had several instances where he doesn't pick my calls at night. It happens often but I am starting to trust him, because sometimes I call by 5am and he picks and says he slept off. Sometimes we would be chatting on WhatsApp and after I call him 20 minutes later, he won't respond. He is not married!

So, I currently earn 450k monthly and I have been able to save something meaningful, so I can start a good business before getting married or after. I haven't stated because I don't know which one yet. I started a restaurant business when I was 23 but it failed.

If I ask him and he says 1 year, of course, I can wait. I will be 26 years next year April.

We will seeing for the 2nd time next week. I plan to ask him when he sees himself getting married but I am scared and the way he carries himself makes me reluctant to ask such.

About two weeks ago, I wanted to even surprise him with gifts. I asked for his account number and office/home address. (He picked me up the last time I traveled to see him, so I don't know the address". Well, he didn't give me these details. He said when it's time I will have them.


Two days ago, he said a friend's younger brother is getting married. He laughed and said people just dey marry. He has once asked me "You dey find husband?" jokingly-

I would like to settle before 27. Is it bad that I am thinking this way? If he says he is looking to get married in 2-3 years, i think it's a bit far. 2023 is still fine. But the problem is he doesn't really sound like marriage is on his mind. He will be 32 next year April too.

We vibe a lot. But he says I love you sparingly. Sometimes I say it and he doesn't respond, he will say tomorrow I will tell u or no, I told u yesterday.

But we are really really cool. I like him a lot and he likes me but I think I like him more. He gives me attention, I don't have to ask.

If I was 23, I won't have a problem waiting 3-4 years. But since I am ready mentally, financially, I am looking for someone who wants it within 6 months to 1 year. I can still try to do 2 years if I get someone great.

79 Likes 7 Shares

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Yadid(m): 11:23am On Dec 07, 2021
Red flags are all over the place, but it looks like you are so into him you are willing to overlook them. You need to take things slow here

391 Likes 19 Shares

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Ebubechuwku(m): 11:44am On Dec 07, 2021
All I see here is desperation to get married and if things keep going like this, your decision will hunt you in future...

You are ready financially,mentally and physically, but your partner is not ready, he is not responsible, he still want his freedom.

Another one, don't use money as a criteria for love, unless you just wanna waste ur money. If you like send him all your savings, send him all your parents property document, and you are thinking that he will love you the more, it wil shock you na household he go impregnate las las.

You are 26, don't be in a hurry, look before you leap, there is lot to marriage, than love, so that you won't later rush out of it....


#ire o

220 Likes 17 Shares

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Kuriosmynd: 11:56am On Dec 07, 2021
Now, don't assume you know this young man well enough. You just barely met him.

You will know him better after you guys have sex 3x to 5x. I guess he already fvcked you well, otherwise I don't get your desperation.
.
You sound like a good innocent girl. I think I like your person. But I also feel the guy is trying to take firm control of you and do you as he pleases. Thread carefully. Those words he throws around shouldn't be taken lightly. There are often truth in light jokes.

You still need to understand his psyche, don't ask him openly, but during conversation and subtle question, u will connect the dots. U need to know the kind of girl he really wishes to marry. I mean In terms of look, endowment, age, family background and tribe, u must see if u fall in that category...else it's good to start being sceptical.
.
The truth is, sometimes, we guys might be dating a great girl, yet we are not convinced she's our want/spec.so we end up doing her as we please and dump her, and she starts to doubt herself.
.
Again. You need to know where he really wish to be, I mean his dream and plans; see if he's in that direction. See if he's content abt his present state, otherwise some guys might want to be headed toward their dream before giving marriage a serious interest. Forget about what he father has.Try to know where he wants to be.

Then reduce ur desperation and see how he responds to your unavailability. Note his words and don't be blind to his actions.
And lastly, don't showoff u have money..lol Guys will eat you, especially if he's not that committed to you.
Keep observing, as you never really known this guy. Later, you can ask him his plans for marriage, there's nothing bad. You need to know this guy's psyche abt marriage, otherwise u will be traveling in a boat without destination

231 Likes 18 Shares

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by stacyadams: 12:03pm On Dec 07, 2021
grin them don ravage this one Toto for 25k per room hotel cos the guy get two cars and sell trucks and his a land lord...mosdii come and tell her

197 Likes 16 Shares

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Ebubechuwku(m): 12:05pm On Dec 07, 2021
stacyadams:
grin them don ravage this one Toto for 25k per room hotel cos the guy get two cars and sell trucks and his a land lord...mosdii come and tell her

No mind am... grin grin grin small thing dey shark some people.. if you mumu, u no go know say u mumu, until your eye clear...

139 Likes 7 Shares

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Nicepoker(m): 12:12pm On Dec 07, 2021
I pity that guy.

5 Likes

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by drnoel: 12:21pm On Dec 07, 2021
ngoziwrites:
So, I met this great guy online. After 2 weeks, we met in person and everything was perfect.

It's almost 2 months since we have been together.

He asked me out while we were together and I gladly said yes. (I have met a lot of players�). So while we were together, a discussion popped up and he said he can't discuss anything related to marriage until after 6 months. I pretended not to hear.


I don't know his financial capacity but I know he is doing okay. He controls the family business. They sell trucks, trailers and all. He is also a landlord in one of his father's houses at Festac. We stayed at a hotel. 25k per night. He paid for 2 night and I paid for one night. But during these times, we went to his house.

He said he didn't want me to come to see his place because it's the first time. And he said the house is very hot too.


Our communication is great but he doesn't look like he wants marriage soon. He has said things like marriage is hard work. He has also said in 10 years time, people will hardly be getting married.

Then one night, we were talking and he said I "see my wife as my responsibility"
I will take care of her and of cos, I am okay but I will still be very very rich, so I can't bring in any woman to suffer now" .. That's what I am sure I heard but I was scared to ask him to explain further or repeat himself.

He is actually okay, he has two cars but importantly, he has sense and he is very hard-working. But he is very principled and we have actually had several instances where he doesn't pick my calls at night. It happens often but I am starting to trust him, because sometimes I call by 5am and he picks and says he slept off. Sometimes we would be chatting on WhatsApp and after I call him 20 minutes later, he won't respond. He is not married!

So, I currently earn 450k monthly and I have been able to save something meaningful, so I can start a good business before getting married or after. I haven't stated because I don't know which one yet. I started a restaurant business when I was 23 but it failed.

If I ask him and he says 1 year, of course, I can wait. I will be 26 years next year April.

We will seeing for the 2nd time next week. I plan to ask him when he sees himself getting married but I am scared and the way he carries himself makes me reluctant to ask such.

About two weeks ago, I wanted to even surprise him with gifts. I asked for his account number and office/home address. (He picked me up the last time I traveled to see him, so I don't know the address". Well, he didn't give me these details. He said when it's time I will have them.


Two days ago, he said a friend's younger brother is getting married. He laughed and said people just dey marry. He has once asked me "You dey find husband?" jokingly-

I would like to settle before 27. Is it bad that I am thinking this way? If he says he is looking to get married in 2-3 years, i think it's a bit far. 2023 is still fine. But the problem is he doesn't really sound like marriage is on his mind. He will be 32 next year April too.

We vibe a lot. But he says I love you sparingly. Sometimes I say it and he doesn't respond, he will say tomorrow I will tell u or no, I told u yesterday.

But we are really really cool. I like him a lot and he likes me but I think I like him more. He gives me attention, I don't have to ask.

If I was 23, I won't have a problem waiting 3-4 years. But since I am ready mentally, financially, I am looking for someone who wants it within 6 months to 1 year. I can still try to do 2 years if I get someone great.



Desperation is written all over this write up. It's marriage this marriage that. Marriage is not by force but if it's ur thing be careful who U get into it with. Get to know the man first without giving Ur all and concentrate on 1 person. Ofcos since U are not sure and U feel U can trust him. Sit him down, ask him clearly without fear. Tell him it's not by force, if he ain't feeling it then he can walk away and U go Ur own way. Marriage is not by force

36 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by larryking540: 12:42pm On Dec 07, 2021
Yadid:
Red flags are all over the place, but it looks like you are so into him you are willing to overlook them. You need to take things slow here
exactly alot of red flags,the mistake the op will do is getting pregnant for him ,that settles it all welcome to baby mamas world without a ring on the middle finger

dear op ,I kw say marriage day shark you ,it's a good thing atleast u desire to be married ,yes life no easy for one person to roll on ,it requires 2person ,,,but truth be told ,that bigger never ready for marriage ,,,,date with a purpose ,say after me ,date with a purpose ,6 months is half a year ,has he made interest to hello your family ,if not hmmmmmmm,,,,,,u just day build marriage for your heart ,,,dear op ,,,we sleep for hotel no be say e go marry you oo,,and pls op can you stop emphasising on what this young man got ,,,it says alot about you ,you want a rich dude but I can smell run away lady from you when calamity falls on that guy.....

87 Likes 5 Shares

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by ngoziwrites(f): 12:52pm On Dec 07, 2021
He doesn't talk about these things. I would love to know his plans, goals etc but we don't talk about it.

Sometimes I say do u know we haven't had some deep discussion. He says these things aren't planned

9 Likes

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by ngoziwrites(f): 12:54pm On Dec 07, 2021
.....

14 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by larryking540: 1:28pm On Dec 07, 2021
ngoziwrites:



... I mentioned those things he has just to let u all know he is financially ready. So that part is out. I have never asked him for ordinary 1k and I don't intend. I make my own money. I only want someone with sense.
but you kept on emphasising on the financial part , sweet that's a red flag for anyone trust me ,,, believe me ...I will come back at you again let me red your story over and over again

25 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by EasternActivist: 1:35pm On Dec 07, 2021
Why not simply ask him!??

If he loves you, you guys can plan it... You're doing well already so him saying spoiling his wife is his goal in marriage won't be a problem...

Buh I hope you will be submissive to him!?

1 Like

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by larryking540: 1:38pm On Dec 07, 2021
ngoziwrites:



... I mentioned those things he has just to let u all know he is financially ready. So that part is out. I have never asked him for ordinary 1k and I don't intend. I make my own money. I only want someone with sense.

but he doesn't look ready to settle for real with all the things you wrote about him and how he answers you questions ,he isn't ready

16 Likes

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Peace081: 1:39pm On Dec 07, 2021
Op is just desperate for marriage, madam calm down small, God's time is the best

5 Likes

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Olunmercy56(f): 1:41pm On Dec 07, 2021
grin grin please ma, keep watching and waiting for his proposal grin

2 Likes

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by CrownOfClay724: 1:42pm On Dec 07, 2021
You're projecting your feelings on him.
Reason why you're not seeing the signs.

You so wish things would happen your way ; but the signs beg to disagree.

Even if he wants to marry, from what you just shared, I'll opine he obviously doesn't want to marry you .

But ask him sha.
Only him can tell what is in his mind.

26 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by ngoziwrites(f): 1:42pm On Dec 07, 2021
......

23 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by NovesaTillie(f): 1:50pm On Dec 07, 2021
Well as an experienced lady I will tell you for free that he's not interested in settling down.

And if he wants, he would want to settle with someone who is less financially stable.

107 Likes 10 Shares

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Drsnives(m): 1:53pm On Dec 07, 2021
ngoziwrites:
So, I met this great guy online. After 2 weeks, we met in person and everything was perfect.

It's almost 2 months since we have been together.

He asked me out while we were together and I gladly said yes. (I have met a lot of players�). So while we were together, a discussion popped up and he said he can't discuss anything related to marriage until after 6 months. I pretended not to hear.


I don't know his financial capacity but I know he is doing okay. He controls the family business. They sell trucks, trailers and all. He is also a landlord in one of his father's houses at Festac. We stayed at a hotel. 25k per night. He paid for 2 night and I paid for one night. But during these times, we went to his house.

He said he didn't want me to come to see his place because it's the first time. And he said the house is very hot too.


Our communication is great but he doesn't look like he wants marriage soon. He has said things like marriage is hard work. He has also said in 10 years time, people will hardly be getting married.

Then one night, we were talking and he said I "see my wife as my responsibility"
I will take care of her and of cos, I am okay but I will still be very very rich, so I can't bring in any woman to suffer now" .. That's what I am sure I heard but I was scared to ask him to explain further or repeat himself.

He is actually okay, he has two cars but importantly, he has sense and he is very hard-working. But he is very principled and we have actually had several instances where he doesn't pick my calls at night. It happens often but I am starting to trust him, because sometimes I call by 5am and he picks and says he slept off. Sometimes we would be chatting on WhatsApp and after I call him 20 minutes later, he won't respond. He is not married!

So, I currently earn 450k monthly and I have been able to save something meaningful, so I can start a good business before getting married or after. I haven't stated because I don't know which one yet. I started a restaurant business when I was 23 but it failed.

If I ask him and he says 1 year, of course, I can wait. I will be 26 years next year April.

We will seeing for the 2nd time next week. I plan to ask him when he sees himself getting married but I am scared and the way he carries himself makes me reluctant to ask such.

About two weeks ago, I wanted to even surprise him with gifts. I asked for his account number and office/home address. (He picked me up the last time I traveled to see him, so I don't know the address". Well, he didn't give me these details. He said when it's time I will have them.


Two days ago, he said a friend's younger brother is getting married. He laughed and said people just dey marry. He has once asked me "You dey find husband?" jokingly-

I would like to settle before 27. Is it bad that I am thinking this way? If he says he is looking to get married in 2-3 years, i think it's a bit far. 2023 is still fine. But the problem is he doesn't really sound like marriage is on his mind. He will be 32 next year April too.

We vibe a lot. But he says I love you sparingly. Sometimes I say it and he doesn't respond, he will say tomorrow I will tell u or no, I told u yesterday.

But we are really really cool. I like him a lot and he likes me but I think I like him more. He gives me attention, I don't have to ask.

If I was 23, I won't have a problem waiting 3-4 years. But since I am ready mentally, financially, I am looking for someone who wants it within 6 months to 1 year. I can still try to do 2 years if I get someone great.



Baby come to me am ready n ripe for marriage.
Reply me lets get started

13 Likes

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Kuriosmynd: 1:56pm On Dec 07, 2021
ngoziwrites:
He doesn't talk about these things. I would love to know his plans, goals etc but we don't talk about it.

Sometimes I say do u know we haven't had some deep discussion. He says these things aren't planned
.
Yes most smart guys have a way of not talking about their plans, dreams and personal stuff when they are not yet really into you.
.
A guy who is into you will tell you those stuff with time unless u don't show interest, as many gals usually overlook that part once they see the guy is comfortable. But u have to make him talk and reveal that aspect of him, u can do that with intelligent questions or steer conversation towards that by bringing up discussion about dreams, past and future business interest, purpose, personal values, humanity..etc
.
U will know more about his psyche with this, also his view abt marriage ...so u can quickly make ur Conclusion abt him

19 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Fiscus105(m): 1:58pm On Dec 07, 2021
ngoziwrites:
So, I met this great guy online. After 2 weeks, we met in person and everything was perfect.

It's almost 2 months since we have been together.

He asked me out while we were together and I gladly said yes. (I have met a lot of players�). So while we were together, a discussion popped up and he said he can't discuss anything related to marriage until after 6 months. I pretended not to hear.


I don't know his financial capacity but I know he is doing okay. He controls the family business. They sell trucks, trailers and all. He is also a landlord in one of his father's houses at Festac. We stayed at a hotel. 25k per night. He paid for 2 night and I paid for one night. But during these times, we went to his house.

He said he didn't want me to come to see his place because it's the first time. And he said the house is very hot too.


Our communication is great but he doesn't look like he wants marriage soon. He has said things like marriage is hard work. He has also said in 10 years time, people will hardly be getting married.

Then one night, we were talking and he said I "see my wife as my responsibility"
I will take care of her and of cos, I am okay but I will still be very very rich, so I can't bring in any woman to suffer now" .. That's what I am sure I heard but I was scared to ask him to explain further or repeat himself.

He is actually okay, he has two cars but importantly, he has sense and he is very hard-working. But he is very principled and we have actually had several instances where he doesn't pick my calls at night. It happens often but I am starting to trust him, because sometimes I call by 5am and he picks and says he slept off. Sometimes we would be chatting on WhatsApp and after I call him 20 minutes later, he won't respond. He is not married!

So, I currently earn 450k monthly and I have been able to save something meaningful, so I can start a good business before getting married or after. I haven't stated because I don't know which one yet. I started a restaurant business when I was 23 but it failed.

If I ask him and he says 1 year, of course, I can wait. I will be 26 years next year April.

We will seeing for the 2nd time next week. I plan to ask him when he sees himself getting married but I am scared and the way he carries himself makes me reluctant to ask such.

About two weeks ago, I wanted to even surprise him with gifts. I asked for his account number and office/home address. (He picked me up the last time I traveled to see him, so I don't know the address". Well, he didn't give me these details. He said when it's time I will have them.


Two days ago, he said a friend's younger brother is getting married. He laughed and said people just dey marry. He has once asked me "You dey find husband?" jokingly-

I would like to settle before 27. Is it bad that I am thinking this way? If he says he is looking to get married in 2-3 years, i think it's a bit far. 2023 is still fine. But the problem is he doesn't really sound like marriage is on his mind. He will be 32 next year April too.

We vibe a lot. But he says I love you sparingly. Sometimes I say it and he doesn't respond, he will say tomorrow I will tell u or no, I told u yesterday.

But we are really really cool. I like him a lot and he likes me but I think I like him more. He gives me attention, I don't have to ask.

If I was 23, I won't have a problem waiting 3-4 years. But since I am ready mentally, financially, I am looking for someone who wants it within 6 months to 1 year. I can still try to do 2 years if I get someone great.




That's biggest mistake most ladies do make, even if you are 19, that doesn't stop you to ask for vital information which will affect you,now or latter. Madam, you are opening ur legs for a guy in which it might affect u positive or negatively yet u said you scare to ask him where ur journey with him is heading to?
Aunty, you shouldn't shy or fear to ask the question o, its a must to avoid ........Nairalanders, my marriage is toxic after just 6 months of marriage pls I need advise.


Thou the problem of you girls is that, wen you meet well to do/ handsome guys, you would completely wet, your senses of logical reasoning will completely beclouded, in which you wouldn't remember to seek vital information, its after 2 kids you would start fighting (its olosho who doesn't need vital information about guys who wnt to carry her and not potential wife)

14 Likes

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by brain54(m): 2:02pm On Dec 07, 2021
Well the relationship is still very young at two months...but still it's better you guys sit and talk about these issues at the on set so both of you are on same page on the direction you guys are taking the relationship to.
Both don't sound too desperate about the marriage talk to him. So he won't see it as been pressured.
All the best.
Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by ExtremeDot: 2:03pm On Dec 07, 2021
Lol. Your body clock is ticking and you are worried as "the wall" is gradually approaching.

He's 32 years. He's very much at his prime.

25 Likes

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by ngoziwrites(f): 2:07pm On Dec 07, 2021
brain54:
Well the relationship is still very young at two months...but still it's better you guys sit and talk about these issues at the on set so both of you are on same page on the direction you guys are taking the relationship to.
Both don't sound too desperate about the marriage talk to him. So he won't see it as been pressured.
All the best.


Yes. I don't sound desperate. I have never even mentioned any of these things. Anytime he says things like marriage is hardwork or probably any topic related to marriage, I don't say anything at all.

I just think I should ask now, so we are sure we are looking in the same direction.

Usually, people start relationships with asking a lot of questions. But we didn't start that way. I thought we would even ask basic questions when we see. But we didn't.

He hasn't asked my goals, my plans etc. I want to ask to but he is the one with more power in the relationship. It's his call. So, I can't ask him.

6 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by ejitest1(m): 2:07pm On Dec 07, 2021
Give me your contact let's start something serious, I want to marry as soon as possible.

ngoziwrites:
So, I met this great guy online. After 2 weeks, we met in person and everything was perfect.

It's almost 2 months since we have been together.

He asked me out while we were together and I gladly said yes. (I have met a lot of players�). So while we were together, a discussion popped up and he said he can't discuss anything related to marriage until after 6 months. I pretended not to hear.


I don't know his financial capacity but I know he is doing okay. He controls the family business. They sell trucks, trailers and all. He is also a landlord in one of his father's houses at Festac. We stayed at a hotel. 25k per night. He paid for 2 night and I paid for one night. But during these times, we went to his house.

He said he didn't want me to come to see his place because it's the first time. And he said the house is very hot too.


Our communication is great but he doesn't look like he wants marriage soon. He has said things like marriage is hard work. He has also said in 10 years time, people will hardly be getting married.

Then one night, we were talking and he said I "see my wife as my responsibility"
I will take care of her and of cos, I am okay but I will still be very very rich, so I can't bring in any woman to suffer now" .. That's what I am sure I heard but I was scared to ask him to explain further or repeat himself.

He is actually okay, he has two cars but importantly, he has sense and he is very hard-working. But he is very principled and we have actually had several instances where he doesn't pick my calls at night. It happens often but I am starting to trust him, because sometimes I call by 5am and he picks and says he slept off. Sometimes we would be chatting on WhatsApp and after I call him 20 minutes later, he won't respond. He is not married!

So, I currently earn 450k monthly and I have been able to save something meaningful, so I can start a good business before getting married or after. I haven't stated because I don't know which one yet. I started a restaurant business when I was 23 but it failed.

If I ask him and he says 1 year, of course, I can wait. I will be 26 years next year April.

We will seeing for the 2nd time next week. I plan to ask him when he sees himself getting married but I am scared and the way he carries himself makes me reluctant to ask such.

About two weeks ago, I wanted to even surprise him with gifts. I asked for his account number and office/home address. (He picked me up the last time I traveled to see him, so I don't know the address". Well, he didn't give me these details. He said when it's time I will have them.


Two days ago, he said a friend's younger brother is getting married. He laughed and said people just dey marry. He has once asked me "You dey find husband?" jokingly-

I would like to settle before 27. Is it bad that I am thinking this way? If he says he is looking to get married in 2-3 years, i think it's a bit far. 2023 is still fine. But the problem is he doesn't really sound like marriage is on his mind. He will be 32 next year April too.

We vibe a lot. But he says I love you sparingly. Sometimes I say it and he doesn't respond, he will say tomorrow I will tell u or no, I told u yesterday.

But we are really really cool. I like him a lot and he likes me but I think I like him more. He gives me attention, I don't have to ask.

If I was 23, I won't have a problem waiting 3-4 years. But since I am ready mentally, financially, I am looking for someone who wants it within 6 months to 1 year. I can still try to do 2 years if I get someone great.


2 Likes

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by BlaqJosh: 2:10pm On Dec 07, 2021
Abeg no force the man into marriage because you are ready, na your type go japa once the guy fall financially.


Desperate mofo

28 Likes

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by brain54(m): 2:16pm On Dec 07, 2021
ngoziwrites:



Yes. I don't sound desperate. I have never even mentioned any of these things. Anytime he says things like marriage is hardwork or probably any topic related to marriage, I don't say anything at all.

Nothing wrong in you guys talking about it...no need for parables or preambles.
You need to know completely what you are getting into and move on if you guys don't share same values. Or you feel you can't cope.
At 26 you should be in a well defined relationship.

12 Likes

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Nat404: 2:18pm On Dec 07, 2021
OP, it is unlikely that the guy would marry you.

19 Likes

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by LadyD22(f): 2:19pm On Dec 07, 2021
ngoziwrites:
So, I met this great guy online. After 2 weeks, we met in person and everything was perfect.

It's almost 2 months since we have been together.

He asked me out while we were together and I gladly said yes. (I have met a lot of players�). So while we were together, a discussion popped up and he said he can't discuss anything related to marriage until after 6 months. I pretended not to hear.


I don't know his financial capacity but I know he is doing okay. He controls the family business. They sell trucks, trailers and all. He is also a landlord in one of his father's houses at Festac. We stayed at a hotel. 25k per night. He paid for 2 night and I paid for one night. But during these times, we went to his house.

He said he didn't want me to come to see his place because it's the first time. And he said the house is very hot too.


Our communication is great but he doesn't look like he wants marriage soon. He has said things like marriage is hard work. He has also said in 10 years time, people will hardly be getting married.

Then one night, we were talking and he said I "see my wife as my responsibility"
I will take care of her and of cos, I am okay but I will still be very very rich, so I can't bring in any woman to suffer now" .. That's what I am sure I heard but I was scared to ask him to explain further or repeat himself.

He is actually okay, he has two cars but importantly, he has sense and he is very hard-working. But he is very principled and we have actually had several instances where he doesn't pick my calls at night. It happens often but I am starting to trust him, because sometimes I call by 5am and he picks and says he slept off. Sometimes we would be chatting on WhatsApp and after I call him 20 minutes later, he won't respond. He is not married!

So, I currently earn 450k monthly and I have been able to save something meaningful, so I can start a good business before getting married or after. I haven't stated because I don't know which one yet. I started a restaurant business when I was 23 but it failed.

If I ask him and he says 1 year, of course, I can wait. I will be 26 years next year April.

We will seeing for the 2nd time next week. I plan to ask him when he sees himself getting married but I am scared and the way he carries himself makes me reluctant to ask such.

About two weeks ago, I wanted to even surprise him with gifts. I asked for his account number and office/home address. (He picked me up the last time I traveled to see him, so I don't know the address". Well, he didn't give me these details. He said when it's time I will have them.


Two days ago, he said a friend's younger brother is getting married. He laughed and said people just dey marry. He has once asked me "You dey find husband?" jokingly-

I would like to settle before 27. Is it bad that I am thinking this way? If he says he is looking to get married in 2-3 years, i think it's a bit far. 2023 is still fine. But the problem is he doesn't really sound like marriage is on his mind. He will be 32 next year April too.

We vibe a lot. But he says I love you sparingly. Sometimes I say it and he doesn't respond, he will say tomorrow I will tell u or no, I told u yesterday.

But we are really really cool. I like him a lot and he likes me but I think I like him more. He gives me attention, I don't have to ask.

If I was 23, I won't have a problem waiting 3-4 years. But since I am ready mentally, financially, I am looking for someone who wants it within 6 months to 1 year. I can still try to do 2 years if I get someone great.



When Satan sees that you're becoming desperate to settle down , he will package his favorite cousin for you , I am in no place to advice you or say anything , but I think you shouldn't really rush it , marriage is a serious thing , two months is too short , and about him doing well , you've not heard of ppl forging things and even identities ?
For him to avoid taking you to his place , it might be he doesn't trust you , he's married or his living condition is not something to brag about grin ,

For him to ask you that question , it feels like he's trying to discourage you from getting any ideas , ( which has already happened).
I think you should ask him first , no matter how hard it is , you should do it now and get it over with , its better you know your place now , than for you to put all your eggs in one basket thinking you found yourself a boat.
The idea of settling down early sounds nice but don't let it tempt you into desperation , and find yourself in the wrong hands , peace of mind over everything
Good luck

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Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Nat404: 2:21pm On Dec 07, 2021
LadyD22:


When Satan sees that you're becoming desperate to settle down , he will package his favorite cousin for you , I am in no place to advice you or say anything , but I think you shouldn't really rush it , marriage is a serious thing , two months is too short , and about him doing well , you've not heard of ppl forging things and even identities ?
For him to avoid taking you to his place , it might be he doesn't trust you , he's married or his living condition is not something to brag about grin ,

For him to ask you that question , it feels like he's trying to discourage you from getting any ideas , ( which has already happened).
I think you should ask him first , no matter how hard it is , you should do it now and get it over with , its better you know your place now , than for you to put all your eggs in one basket thinking you found yourself a boat.
The idea of settling down early sounds nice but don't let it tempt you into desperation , and find yourself in the wrong hands , peace of mind over everything
Good luck
Exactly. I totally agree with you. If a man doesn't take you to his house, it means something is fishy.

33 Likes

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by ngoziwrites(f): 2:34pm On Dec 07, 2021
.....

2 Likes

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