cococandy:
if women should work and contribute to the home, (which they almost always have to do anyway), then your thread makes no sense.
You’re just advocating for over-laboring the woman.
Realistically, majority of families can’t afford to have sole providers. so what is it exactly you mean?

My thread says, don't over labor your wife, but rather bring ease. Rather than wear her out, get an help. Why let her have sore hands when you can get a washing machine.


My thread says, don't lose focus, you are the man in this home, have a providing mindset. Be manly enough to stay in your role. This mindset expands his scope.

Now, the duty of the man is to Provide for his home, which is all encompassing. Includes taking care of his home, ensuring everyone is safe. How should he get this done, he need a providing mindset


Now you get it.


Go ahead and ask any other part of my summation you need clarity.

BTW my hands are up fuun mama

But we are telling you it’s not realistic because majority of guys can’t afford help nor afford to be the sole providers. House Help needs to be paid a livable wage (I will die on that hill).

It is what it is.

Telling the men to do more doesn’t mean they’ll end up making more money. They will work their fingers to the bones and will still fall short financially. We are all in this capitalist rat race together and the sooner y’all stop attaching value and respect based on who does the dishes and who cooks the food, the sooner you can swim with the tide and not struggle unnecessarily.

You will work and work but you will still need the money your wife makes. And that means that she will have to go out there to hustle too which inevitably means that you will have to pick up some of the slack at home too. There’s really no other way unless y’all are planning to exploit some underage kid in the name of unpaid help so that you won’t have to get soap on your manly hands.

Yes some folks can afford paid help but they not the majority. Be realistic

9japarts:



My thread says, don't over labor your wife, but rather bring ease. Rather than wear her out, get an help. Why let her have sore hands when you can get a washing machine.


My thread says, don't lose focus, you are the man in this home, have a providing mindset. Be manly enough to stay in your role. This mindset expands his scope.

Now, the duty of the man is to Provide for his home, which is all encompassing. Includes taking care of his home, ensuring everyone is safe. How should he get this done, he need a providing mindset


Now you get it.


Go ahead and ask any other part of my summation you need clarity.

BTW my hands are up fuun mama

Hathor5:


It's only in a poverty stricken country like Nigeria that you unmarried boys will act like men are able to provide for their families alone or more than their wives.

And just because a man assumes a different role in his family than you would does not make him a sissy.

See, what you kids don't know is that the realities of life are such that roles are not set in stone but fluid and change over time so that families react as they go by being pragmatic and not out of their insecurity over their 'manliness'.

You can make your opinion known without insults.

You are way smarter!

cococandy:
But we are telling you it’s not realistic because majority of guys can’t afford help nor afford to be the sole providers. House Help needs to be paid a livable wage (I will die on that hill).

It is what it is.

Telling the men to do more doesn’t mean they’ll end up making more money. They will work their fingers to the bones and will still fall short financially. We are all in this capitalist rat race together and the sooner y’all stop attaching value and respect based on who does the dishes and who cooks the food, the sooner you can swim with the tide and not struggle unnecessarily.

You will work and work but you will still need the money your wife makes. And that means that she will have to go out there to hustle too which inevitably means that you will have to pick up some of the slack at home too. There’s really no other way unless y’all are planning to exploit some underage kid in the name of unpaid help so that you won’t have to get soap on your manly hands.

Yes some folks can afford paid help but they not the majority. Be realistic

You have a point there. There is no where I said men shouldn't do chores. The word is, don't share chores as a responsibility. That is not your core duty in that home. If you can't afford help, remember you should and live up to that, man up. It puts pressure on you? Who else should get the pressure, your wife?


The role of being a provider for his home, is tasking men to do more. You can't afford a washing machine, yes you wash, not because it is your core duty, but this is your way of providing for your home. It is the mindset.... Now, you get the point.


Men should be men.

9japarts:



You can make your opinion known without insults.

You are way smarter!

You can make your own opinion known without calling men who choose to run their families differently than you would sissies.

I know it makes you feel more manly to talk down on other men but it's not necessary.

And by the way, are you Einstein to tell me how high my IQ is?

Hathor5:


You can make your own opinion known without calling men who choose to run their families differently than you would sissies.

I know it makes you feel more manly to talk down on other men but it's not necessary.

And by the way, are you Einstein to tell me how high my IQ is?

I have no problem with this mentality so far the man is able to provide to the smallest need in the house. He must cater for everything including sanitary pads,up to nail polish. Everything! Including monthly pay. And he must at no point feel overburdened or complain or feel like a Lord. He must never at any point complain or talk about how he does everything alone.

Tell me, who no like better thing? To work, provide and care for the family as a woman easy? If the conditions above is met. Then I have no problem giving the "Provider" position to anyone.

Palema007:
I have no problem with this mentality so far the man is able to provide to the smallest need in the house. He must cater for everything including sanitary pads,up to nail polish. Everything! Including monthly pay. And he must at no point feel overburdened or complain or feel like a Lord. He must never at any point complain or talk about how he does everything alone.

Tell me, who no like better thing? To work, provide and care for the family as a woman easy? If the conditions above is met. Then I have no problem giving the "Provider" position to anyone.

You no like stress true true. As long as you remain a good wife, no problem

Y'all don't want to share house chores, but y'all want women to contribute to the home financially. Lol

Ebonygeek:
Y'all don't want to share house chores, but y'all want women to contribute to the home financially. Lol

Find you a man that is manly, and will take care of you like a woman should be taken care of. Not one that will share chores roaster with you

Even though I don't subscribe to the OP's opinion because I'm wondering who was doing the cooking or cleaning before he got married.

I do have a question to ask regarding this. What exactly do you mean by you will work and work but you will still need the money your wife makes? I am asking because most Nigerian women want to help you out when they feel like helping you out and not necessarily when you need help. It is their judgement to make whether they need to step in or not based on how feel at that moment.

We also need to put in context that you're living abroad, hence this 50/50 or 70/30 thing may appeal to you because bills are paid monthly in huge amounts and one person cannot survive paying all those bills but as far as Nigerian relationships and marriages are concerned, there is nothing like 50/50 financially. Hiring cleaning services or any sort of domestic help is also expensive abroad, so that changes the whole situation.

To be fair, this 50/50 formula might work excellently abroad, but Nigeria women living in Nigeria aren't happy that there is a consistent specific amount that goes out of their account to contribute to the home monthly because it is not their role. This is the problem.

Amidst all this equality noise on Nigerian social media, I have discovered that many women actually want traditional men offline.

cococandy:
But we are telling you it’s not realistic because majority of guys can’t afford help nor afford to be the sole providers. House Help needs to be paid a livable wage (I will die on that hill).

It is what it is.

Telling the men to do more doesn’t mean they’ll end up making more money. They will work their fingers to the bones and will still fall short financially. We are all in this capitalist rat race together and the sooner y’all stop attaching value and respect based on who does the dishes and who cooks the food, the sooner you can swim with the tide and not struggle unnecessarily.

You will work and work but you will still need the money your wife makes. And that means that she will have to go out there to hustle too which inevitably means that you will have to pick up some of the slack at home too. There’s really no other way unless y’all are planning to exploit some underage kid in the name of unpaid help so that you won’t have to get soap on your manly hands.

Yes some folks can afford paid help but they not the majority. Be realistic