post=108690087:
What is civil about the Nigeria civil service.

There's a level you attain in the NCS, once you attain it, you become a baller. It takes years to attain it, maybe the OP is at that stage already, but if you're fresh in the system, na to run comot naija oo

Ahmed0336:
Me I no go fit quit my job, leave country just to go depend on my wife.

Hope the poster will take the above advice and reason DEEPLY on it.

Why does the poster want to abandon certainty for a DANGEROUS and HUMILIATING uncertainty

My advice to the poster is to proceed if he wants to score a DANGEROUS own goal.

For the first few months most likely years of your abandoning your job and farm and relocating to the UK, YOU WILL BE DEPENDENT ON AND BECOME A LIABILITY TO YOUR WIFE and the little respect she once gave you in Nigeria WILL disappear once she becomes your family's breadwinner.

Prepare to swallow your pride and become a houseboy to your wife until you find your feet financially in the UK.

Proceed if your temperament and make up allows you to be a liability to anyone especially a woman.

Proceed if you are ready to lose your self respect and dignity.

What makes you a man is your ability to provide for your wife and kids especially with Nigerian women who are ingrates and who selectively forget ALL the good you have done for them financially in the past and who see a man as a failure when he temporarily loses his source of income.

Do you know how expensive rent / mortgage, taxes and other bills are in the UK ?

Just be prepared to do odd jobs before you find a befitting job in the UK. And by odd jobs, I mean jobs like Security guard, cleaner and personal hygiene care worker (where you will be cleaning another human beings shit)

Mark my words, your wife being a Nurse WILL suggest you go for care work human shit cleaning jobs immediately you get to the UK.

Do you know how demeaning it is for a man to be dependent on his wife financially

Do you know how tiring it WILL be for your wife to single-handedly foot these bills before you find your feet which would most likely take years before you understand the system.

You will IMMEDIATELY lose the ability to provide for your wife and kids for the first few months (more accurately years) whilst you try to even understand the UK system and in that period ALL of your savings will evaporate on sustaining the family and once your savings run out, you WILL discover what many Nigerian men in the UK go through at the hands of their wives if they temporarily lose their source of income.

The choice is really up to you.

The only win-win situation for the poster is for him to stay put in Nigeria where he already has 2 sources of income and visit his wife in the UK every few months and for him to send some money (no matter how small) monthly to his wife in the UK to help with the high UK bills.

This is the only win-win solution to his situation as he gets to keep the respect from his wife and he does not become a penniless house husband houseboy by making the fatal error of going to the UK to become a financial liability to his wife. Tufiakwa. Death before dishonor.

If only the poster knew what men (even the ones with jobs) go through at the hands of their Nigerian wives in the UK where you can go to jail if your wife says you raped her - with the definition of marital rape being as liberal as the wife saying get up right in the middle of coitus and the man says let me finish now and he gets charged with rape and gets sentenced to 8 years in jail at the end of which he now has a criminal record meaning he can not get a good job for the next 5 years after serving his jail term.

Even if your wife lies that you beat her up or raped her, the UK police will first of all arrest you in handcuffs in front of your kids and lock you up before starting their investigation which is her word against yours and rape could even be claimed and proven if your wife says that you guys had sex 3 times during the night and you only sought for and got her consent 2 of the times meaning the 3rd time she "says" she did not give her consent and you will go to jail for 8 years for rape as alleged by your own wife.

To the original poster, even if you get a job that pays 10 times your wife's salary in the UK, do NOT relocate to the UK 'cos if you do, YOU WILL BECOME A SLAVE TO YOUR WIFE like most men in the UK are.

If you as a man live in the UK and you are not prepared to be a slave to your wife and you want to keep living in the same house with her, be prepared to go to prison for trumped up charges of domestic violence which will get you out of the house and probably into jail.

UK is the single parent capital of Europe because the govt gives single mothers a generous payment every month and as such NO WOMAN IN THE UK REALLY NEEDS A MAN EXCEPT HE IS A VERY BIG EARNER WHOSE FINANCES CAN BE EXPLOITED BY THE WOMAN TO RAISE YOUR HER kids and once she has no need of the man financially she kicks him out of his own house and claims both the house and the kids and turns the kids against their father.

I once met a 15 year old boy from Turkey who had just arrived in London to help out in his Dad's Chicken and Chips shop and he told me at that young age of 15 that he is never going to bring his future wife to the UK as he has observed that in the UK the pecking order goes thus >>>>>> Children First ......Women Next ..... Pets (cats and dogs) Next ..... with Men coming last and generally in the UK men are seen as someone dispensable who is to be exploited financially by their wives and children and who are to be tamed cowed into becoming a wimp and if he resists, he will be framed or locked up by a feminist rights obsessed society for "toxic masculinity" being and acting like a real man.

A word is enough for the wise.

You better stay in Nigeria that you fully understand and where THE MAN IS ALWAYS THE KING.

ayandee:
i agrée with you. But there are still exceptions. The idea of my money is my money should have no place in a marriage especially a Christian marriage.

boss that christian marriage I doubt if it still exist o,,

Ilekokonit:


Hope the poster will take the above advice and reason DEEPLY on it.

Why does the poster want to abandon certainty for a DANGEROUS and HUMILIATING uncertainty

My advice to the poster is to proceed if he wants to score a DANGEROUS own goal.

For the first few months most likely years of your abandoning your job and farm and relocating to the UK, YOU WILL BE DEPENDENT ON AND BECOME A LIABILITY TO YOUR WIFE and the little respect she once gave you in Nigeria WILL disappear once she becomes your family's breadwinner.

Prepare to swallow your pride and become a houseboy to your wife until you find your feet financially in the UK.

Proceed if your temperament and make up allows you to be a liability to anyone especially a woman.

Proceed if you are ready to lose your self respect and dignity.

What makes you a man is your ability to provide for your wife and kids especially with Nigerian women who are ingrates and who selectively forget ALL the good you have done for them financially in the past and who see a man as a failure when he temporarily loses his source of income.

Do you know how expensive rent / mortgage, taxes and other bills are in the UK ?

Just be prepared to do odd jobs before you find a befitting job in the UK. And by odd jobs, I mean jobs like Security guard, cleaner and personal hygiene care worker (where you will be cleaning another human beings shit)

Mark my words, your wife being a Nurse WILL suggest you go for care work human shit cleaning jobs immediately you get to the UK.

Do you know how demeaning it is for a man to be dependent on his wife financially

Do you know how tiring it WILL be for your wife to single-handedly foot these bills before you find your feet which would most likely take years before you understand the system.

You will IMMEDIATELY lose the ability to provide for your wife and kids for the first few months (more accurately years) whilst you try to even understand the UK system and in that period ALL of your savings will evaporate on sustaining the family and once your savings run out, you WILL discover what many Nigerian men in the UK go through at the hands of their wives if they temporarily lose their source of income.

The choice is really up to you.

boss the rate at which men that are doing very well in Nigeria are tripping over season is alarming even those doing very very well with a very nice paying jobs with business in every conners of the city ,,,the question I will like some one them to ask is ,how many month will it take to hit 1millionare oversea after paying your tax ,water bill , light bill , house bill ,.......our people need to see reality man ,,,see this op running overseas, without knowing what he expects or what awaits him ,,it's just a pity .... people day go abroad ,me too wan go ,,nawaooo

Ficient:


Thanks very much everyone. I'm still consulting with friends and family, someone suggested I take a study leave from my job instead of resigning outrightly. My wife is a good woman, otherwise I wouldn't entertain the idea at all.

Great idea! You can take up to 4 years if necessary. That also depends on your superior's approval, though. All the best

larryking540:
the rate at which men that are doing very well in Nigeria are tripping over season is alarming even those doing very very well with a very nice paying jobs with business in every corners of the city. ,,,see this op running overseas, without knowing what he expects or what awaits him ,,it's just a pity ....

On top of the HIGH bills in the UK, The stress levels in the UK are out of this world. Suicide rate is rising in UK doctors - https://metro.co.uk/2018/09/03/suicide-rate-rises-in-uk-doctors-and-women-are-more-likely-to-kill-themselves-7907478/

The struggles will be compounded if you are unlucky enough to have racist work colleagues, managers or neighbours or if your once loyal wife suddenly turns gangster on you just because UK laws allow men to be trodden upon by all and sundry including by their wives and children.

Feminism has turned UK men into second-class citizens
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-512550/Feminism-turned-men-second-class-citizens-womens-victories-come-price.html

Even upon that level you would still be stuck on this place called Nigeria where corruption is the order of the day. A place kids shouldn't be raised in.. if not for anything the kids deserve better.

larrypourl:


There's a level you attain in the NCS, once you attain it, you become a baller. It takes years to attain it, maybe the OP is at that stage already, but if you're fresh in the system, na to run comot naija oo

Here's one solution to the money issue. Plan on starting training in a fast, cheap trade as soon as you get there. Your wife or savings should be able to handle it, and you'll likely be done with training and making a viable income within a year or so.

https://www.nairaland.com/6905082/cheap-fast-trades-new-immigrants

The trades in that thread aren't messy, terribly unpleasant jobs. And there are only two blue collar roles. They all pay decent to well.

Ficient:
I'm a federal civil servant, wife just got a job in the UK as a nurse. This has been our plan, although she initiated the idea which I supported especially bcuz of our kids. As the time is getting closer I'm developing some cold feet, but eventually I'm sure I will move. Don't really know if leaving my civil service job and farming business is a good idea, I don't really have an Abroad game plan yet.

I'm in same situation as you are. My fiance will be leaving for US next year (we might get married before then). I'm into ICT but my babe's salary will be much higher than what I earn

My brother to be honest with you, UK society is tilted towards giving the females undue advantage they can't get in Nigeria. The wife you know here will be different when you guys are over there. Plan your UK life very well before moving to that society. Don't rely on the information your wife will give you alone.
If need be prepare a legal documents to curb any future behavior. Pls and pls.

Ficient:
I'm a federal civil servant, wife just got a job in the UK as a nurse. This has been our plan, although she initiated the idea which I supported especially bcuz of our kids. As the time is getting closer I'm developing some cold feet, but eventually I'm sure I will move. Don't really know if leaving my civil service job and farming business is a good idea, I don't really have an Abroad game plan yet.

Bros listen to those who have experience don’t let those who have not step out of this country deceive you.
I have a friend who is a PR holder in Canada his wife is a nurse in Canada but he prefer to stay and work in Nigeria while visiting Canada to see his family.
My advise is don’t quiet your job yet , go on a visit and be sure you can live there, abroad is not for everyone. If not be going on a visit while you continue your work.

Ficient:
I'm a federal civil servant, wife just got a job in the UK as a nurse. This has been our plan, although she initiated the idea which I supported especially bcuz of our kids. As the time is getting closer I'm developing some cold feet, but eventually I'm sure I will move. Don't really know if leaving my civil service job and farming business is a good idea, I don't really have an Abroad game plan yet.

Forget the job bro, and for the farming why not put someone in charge, relocating abroad might just be the greatest choice you'll ever make, things there dont operate the way ours is, sharply move, guy.....

post=108708755:
Even upon that level you would still be stuck on this place called Nigeria where corruption is the order of the day. A place kids shouldn't be raised in.. if not for anything the kids deserve better.

True. He should let them go, and get his shit together to join the later.

Ficient:
My wife is a good woman, otherwise I wouldn't entertain the idea at all.

A good woman in Nigeria would encounter immense stress her psyche is not used to in the UK especially in the work environment and that good Nigerian woman could gradually become a demon to the husband as her way of coping with the stress of living in the UK.

So, look before you leap.

xalex77c:
You want to depend on a women that's not your mother or sister?? Goodluck with that... I shaa see your wife losing every iota of respect she has for you when you aren't able to hit the ground running instantly or your new jobs pays lower than hers (which will obviously be the case) and you being treated like a houseboy... no be woman??

We've all seen these things happen and the end is always the same

Makes me remember a friend who came to the UK for his masters and was staying with his uncles family. His uncle has a PHD, was a lecturer before illness meant he had to give up work and the wife was footing most of the bills augmented by the husbands disability payments from the govt.

My friend said that every morning when they all gathered for morning prayers and Prof's prayers became too elaborate in his wife's eyes, the wife will shout the husband down in front of his kids and nephew telling him thus - You may have a PHD, but I am the bread winner in this family so shut up and let us hear word with this your lengthy grammar.

Prof (who was in his mid sixties at the time) now had to wash his own plates while his children just walk past him without batting an eye lid.

HEAVEN4444:
when you enter uk buy road map and study it very well, and then buy satnav and buy a car and start cabbing.

Good idea but first in the UK,

1. He has to study for and pass both the theory and practical driving test(s).

2. He has to pay for expensive driving lessons - £25 per hour and the UK Driving Standards Agency (DSA), ESTIMATES that learners average 44 hours of lessons before taking their test

3. He has to get used to driving a right hand steering on the side opposite to that on which we drive in Nigeria and he has to get used to UK police and their no nonsense attitude to careless drivers plus a million CCTV's and traffic lights that have Automatic number-plate recognition (ANPR) installed to catch uninsured / untaxed and careless motorists.

4. After spending a little fortune on driving lessons, he can then book his practical driving test proper and if he passes the test he can then proceed to the next step below. (some people fail multiple times before finally passing).

5. He has to then buy a car that is not older than 5 years to be suitable for applying for a cab drivers licence from Transport for London (TfL) and the cheapest car less than 5 years old will cost at least £5,000.

6. He then has to successfully apply for a license to be a cab driver from TFL which regulates all of Londons transport systems including vetting the suitability or not of cab drivers.

7. If TFL judges him suitable for a cab drivers licence after doing their checks including checking if he has a criminal record then assuming he has passed both his theory and practical driving tests he can then start searching online for an insurance company that will insure him for public carriage insurance known as hire and reward which is much more expensive than comprehensive insurance and will most likely cost him more than £100 per month especially since he just got his UK driving license (thats if he can find an insurer to insure a new UK driver for hire and reward).

8. If he passes all the above hurdles at great stress and cost then he has to then join a cab office and pay them a weekly rent that may be more than £100 per week for them to allocate him jobs in return.

Although he could do UBER but all of the above steps will also apply to UBER except that he doesn't have to register with a cab office or pay them a weekly rent.

Another option if he will live in London is for him to buy a small bike called a moped, get a moped learners license and learner tag and drive slowly with the learner tag attached to his moped round a catchment area of London and learn in DETAIL how to get from point a to point b on his bike and once he has mastered that catchment area, he will then pay around £1,100 to apply for and take the Black Cab Taxi Drivers Knowledge written and practical exams.

IF he passes the notoriously difficult Knowledge exam then he will start thinking of raising the funds to buy a Black Cab which is quite expensive to buy and service and insure and moreover it takes some oyinbo people up to 3 years to pass the notoriously difficult Black Cab knowledge test so this option is not practical for him for now although some Black Cab drivers used to earn £500 per day pre-pandemic when central London was bustling with activity.

IF the original poster insists on moving to the UK then he is advised to learn how to barb men's hair PROPERLY BEFORE leaving Nigeria so that he can start earning money from day one in the UK and not face staying at home doing nothing all day for EXTENDED periods of time which will most likely make his wife kick him out onto the streets just because she can.

Pearlyfaze:


Brother please do not listen to anybody telling you he is in the UK and all of that radarada.
I left banking job and big farming consulting business for the UK. I arrived few days ago and I'm already getting job interviews. UK rewards hard working people. If you are good at what you do you will enjoy uk sir. I have five cousin's in the UK and I shared my dream of coming to the UK with them, they advised I stay back in Nigeria because uk is hard. I asked them if they would want to come back and stay in Nigeria, quarell starts. Two of them called me today, with the same number they refused to give me the last time the visited Nigeria.

Uk is a land of rules and regulations. Keep their rules and you will be fine.

Even if you nor like yourself biko do it for those children ejoor.

I will advise you this,
1. if you were not a good husband to your wife in Nigeria, ensure you get on your own visa within a year in the UK.
To avoid did me I'm doing you.
2. Marriage is partnership and not slavery we practice in Africa know this and know peace.
3. Your wife maybe working 4 days a week long shift, this means you will be required to take care of the children and the house more.
4. Responsibilities are shared in the UK.

If you don't have behave well. you can't be poor and be witch at the same time.

Finally Sir, Please move to the UK to better your life and family.

This is the best response in this entire thread. Embrace change because it will lead to a better life.

Ilekokonit:


Good idea but first in the UK,

1. He has to study for and pass both the theory and practical driving test(s).

2. He has to pay for expensive driving lessons - £25 per hour and the UK Driving Standards Agency (DSA), ESTIMATES that learners average 44 hours of lessons before taking their test

3. He has to get used to driving a right hand steering on the side opposite to that on which we drive in Nigeria and he has to get used to UK police and their no nonsense attitude to careless drivers plus a million CCTV's and traffic lights that have Automatic number-plate recognition (ANPR) installed to catch uninsured / untaxed and careless motorists.

4. After spending a little fortune on driving lessons, he can then book his practical driving test proper and if he passes the test he can then proceed to the next step below. (some people fail multiple times before finally passing).

5. He has to then buy a car that is not older than 5 years to be suitable for applying for a cab drivers licence from Transport for London (TfL) and the cheapest car less than 5 years old will cost at least £5,000.

6. He then has to successfully apply for a license to be a cab driver from TFL which regulates all of Londons transport systems including vetting the suitability or not of cab drivers.

7. If TFL judges him suitable for a cab drivers licence after doing their checks including checking if he has a criminal record then assuming he has passed both his theory and practical driving tests he can then start searching online for an insurance company that will insure him for public carriage insurance known as hire and reward which is much more expensive than comprehensive insurance and will most likely cost him more than £100 per month especially since he just got his UK driving license (thats if he can find an insurer to insure a new UK driver for hire and reward).

8. If he passes all the above hurdles at great stress and cost then he has to then join a cab office and pay them a weekly rent that may be more than £100 per week for them to allocate him jobs in return.

Although he could do UBER but all of the above steps will also apply to UBER except that he doesn't have to register with a cab office or pay them a weekly rent.

Another option if he will live in London is for him to buy a small bike called a moped, get a moped learners license and learner tag and drive slowly with the learner tag attached to his moped round a catchment area of London and learn in DETAIL how to get from point a to point b on his bike and once he has mastered that catchment area, he will then pay around £1,100 to apply for and take the Black Cab Taxi Drivers Knowledge written and practical exams.

IF he passes the notoriously difficult Knowledge exam then he will start thinking of raising the funds to buy a Black Cab which is quite expensive to buy and service and insure and moreover it takes some oyinbo people up to 3 years to pass the notoriously difficult Black Cab knowledge test so this option is not practical for him for now although some Black Cab drivers used to earn £500 per day pre-pandemic when central London was bustling with activity.

IF the original poster insists on moving to the UK then he is advised to learn how to barb men's hair PROPERLY BEFORE leaving Nigeria so that he can start earning money from day one in the UK and not face staying at home doing nothing all day for EXTENDED periods of time which will most likely make his wife kick him out onto the streets just because she can.

Dayummmmmmmmmmmmmm