deluxecad:

After all the excitement and fun of freshly getting married has worn away, the couple is now fraught with the real deal they have consensually/mutually (in some cases not) signed on to.  The discoveries of real individual qualities, sleeping patterns, hygiene. . .  (which in most cases dating and courtship seem to have not unravelled) now dawn on the newbies. Most of such discoveries are at the least unsettling.  And now enter the babies and the responsibilities that come with parenting. Some of the spouses still see and maintain their erstwhile lovers, while others hit it off with new ones (for reasons I can't tell). Still in the game!

I have always been an advocate of good and consummate marriage, but what I find hard to understand is the fact that people say MARRIAGE = SETTLING DOWN.  Settling down in what sense?

Does marriage mean settling down?

N101:


When you "settle down" it means you have established an exclusive relationship, committing yourself to that one person, after being unmarried. This also means all your energies should be dedicated to making that relationship mutually beneficial to both of you. It is no more "me" mine" and "I" but "we" us" and "ours".  Marriage has its highs and lows, but you learn a lot about yourself and the other person along the way.

Unfortunately it seems a lot of people get married for the wrong reasons and choose to do dishonourable things whilst married.  When people focus on themselves and not the other person, they choose to live as though they are unsettled thus the extramarital boyfriends and girlfriends.

N101:


When you "settle down" it means you have established an exclusive relationship, committing yourself to that one person, after being unmarried. This also means all your energies should be dedicated to making that relationship mutually beneficial to both of you. It is no more "me" mine" and "I" but "we" us" and "ours".  Marriage has its highs and lows, but you learn a lot about yourself and the other person along the way.

Unfortunately it seems a lot of people get married for the wrong reasons and choose to do dishonourable things whilst married.  When people focus on themselves and not the other person, they choose to live as though they are unsettled thus the extramarital boyfriends and girlfriends.

N101:


When you "settle down" it means you have established an exclusive relationship, committing yourself to that one person, after being unmarried. This also means all your energies should be dedicated to making that relationship mutually beneficial to both of you. It is no more "me" mine" and "I" but "we" us" and "ours".  Marriage has its highs and lows, but you learn a lot about yourself and the other person along the way.

Unfortunately it seems a lot of people get married for the wrong reasons and choose to do dishonourable things whilst married.  When people focus on themselves and not the other person, they choose to live as though they are unsettled thus the extramarital boyfriends and girlfriends.

jennykadry:

^^Hope say you sef don settle down. No more side cutting eyez for female passersby

Franky boy:

Mostimes women are desperate to get married,basically due to security reasons, financial security, emotional security, physical security(cos they know they fade fast like d sunset), and when married, they put all d security burden on a man and take his name in exchange for the burden, dont get me wrong here, i do not mean women do not contribute to a home financially and otherwise, but their mind is now in a state of absolute rest(and dats why they easily blow up, even without eating)
. And for you brothers, thats when you know the innate character of most women(most times u re shocked at how callous nd terrible they can be). So ladies cut that crap of sharing your love with someone nd bla bla bla, women re basically the happiest on their wedding day, inrespective of what they feel for a man, cos now they have got a life mugu, while they can now be madams nd express all their negative attributes.

Franky boy:

Mostimes women are desperate to get married,basically due to security reasons, financial security, emotional security, physical security(cos they know they fade fast like d sunset), and when married, they put all d security burden on a man and take his name in exchange for the burden, dont get me wrong here, i do not mean women do not contribute to a home financially and otherwise, but their mind is now in a state of absolute rest(and dats why they easily blow up, even without eating)
. And for you brothers, thats when you know the innate character of most women(most times u re shocked at how callous nd terrible they can be). So ladies cut that crap of sharing your love with someone nd bla bla bla, women re basically the happiest on their wedding day, inrespective of what they feel for a man, cos now they have got a life mugu, while they can now be madams nd express all their negative attributes.

MEN BEWARE: Marriage should not be rushed into cos of feminine pressure, societal pressure,or love pressure(cos reality always dawns),u should be aware of what you are going into, women always do change, nd most times for the worse.Marriage is the biggest school of life,it teaches you of the infallibility and inconsistency of the human nature.Its never a destination,its a journey, nd d road can get bumby at times.

r231:

i don settle down b4 we even got married

the marriage na jus formality

solomto:

spot on.
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N101 link=topic=690813.msg8523148#msg8523148 date=1308140092:


When you "settle down" it means you have established an exclusive relationship, committing yourself to that one person, after being unmarried. This also means all your energies should be dedicated to making that relationship mutually beneficial to both of you. It is no more "me" mine" and "I" but "we" us" and "ours".  Marriage has its highs and lows, but you learn a lot about yourself and the other person along the way.

Unfortunately it seems a lot of people get married for the wrong reasons and choose to do dishonourable things whilst married.  When people focus on themselves and not the other person, they choose to live as though they are unsettled thus the extramarital boyfriends and girlfriends.

e]

Well coined.
I love your comments. It's very intelligent and worth referencing. To me, being married means 'settling down'. Reprehensible behaviours from couples are borned out of  self-aggrandisement and self-absorption. There is nothing else to crave for in a relationship that cannot be realised btw married couples. In fact, this is the last stage in a relationship where other things are being added to spice up relationship.

Franky boy:

Mostimes women are desperate to get married,basically due to security reasons, financial security, emotional security, physical security(cos they know they fade fast like d sunset), and when married, they put all d security burden on a man and take his name in exchange for the burden, dont get me wrong here, i do not mean women do not contribute to a home financially and otherwise, but their mind is now in a state of absolute rest(and dats why they easily blow up, even without eating)
. And for you brothers, thats when you know the innate character of most women(most times u re shocked at how callous nd terrible they can be). So ladies cut that crap of sharing your love with someone nd bla bla bla, women re basically the happiest on their wedding day, inrespective of what they feel for a man, cos now they have got a life mugu, while they can now be madams nd express all their negative attributes.

MEN BEWARE: Marriage should not be rushed into cos of feminine pressure, societal pressure,or love pressure(cos reality always dawns),u should be aware of what you are going into, women always do change, nd most times for the worse.Marriage is the biggest school of life,it teaches you of the infallibility and inconsistency of the human nature.Its never a destination,its a journey, nd d road can get bumby at times.

ronkebp:

Marraige should definitely equal settling down, if you don't settle down when you marry, what will you de doing then? jumping or flying around? marraige, incase some don't know, has to do with the couple getting down with each other only, not to lie, sometimes your feelings are all over the place, because you are still you when you get married, but the status' should help you discipline your self and curb your wings that are ready to fly.

dayokanu:

Settle down with you?

dayokanu:

Then you need to unsettle and resettle