The Man don't see marriage as procreation only, man want to enjoy himself in the marriage, But did you not discuss this before marriage and how is he escaping scoring a goal during intercourse or is he not comming to goal post at all?

Freeze your eggs If you have to.

Your husband sef
Having kids are one of the primary reasons of getting married,i don’t understand what he mean by he don’t want the kids to suffer,if he wasn’t ready to produce kids he shouldn’t have get married in first place.
Anuty talk to his family if he’s still insisting take the next step.Do he wants you to produce kids at old age or what

He's inconsiderate and selfish but I have a feeling that you agreed to his terms before marriage with the hope of changing his mind along the line. I hope this is not the case sha.

Fiscus105:
I fear who know fear you o. If she is ur daughter at 32 and married for 3 years , will you be comfortable with it? Pinch urself with needle before do it for others

if my daughter was this woman i certainly wouldnt advise her to force her husband into doing what he is not comfortable doing, and instead i will advise her that: since her marriage isnt going on the right track, she should reevaluate her life and make the right CHANGES needed in order for her to find a man that has the same vision of life as she does, and therafter be happy with that said man. i would also advise her that having a child isnt a necessity in marriage as parents need to be READY (emotionally/physically/financially) 1st before thinking of having one, and its obvious her husband is NOT ready. this would in turn be the bed for bad parenting/abuse/neglect etc.

sadly, in Africa, majority are so blinded by having children at any cost (even if they cant care for them) that every donkey under the moon desires a child, while they probably arent suited to care emotionally/physically and financially for a child for the next 18yrs minimum!
I guess, to each their own msery!

3 years is too much, best I can go is a year after marriage.

The shocker is after the ICAN certificate your husband is chasing, the best he can get immediately on top his 100k is an additional 50k, of which the value (Intrinsic) might be lost due to inflation.

I watched a short clip of the late Archbishop Desmond Tutu. He was asked what was his happiest moment in life, expecting him to cite the day Nelson Mandela became President and the Apartheid coming to an end, surprisingly he said it was the day he became a father.

All of our struggles in life are nothing if it doesn't benefit our children.

Raalsalghul:
I like your husband already.

.
me too.

It's this same man that will insult her about being infertile when menopause sets in. He will even go far as much as marrying another wife or divorcing her.

Mrs, this man seem to be selfish, coz nothing stop you guys from birthing at least a kid. Unlike men, we women do not have biological clock in our favor o.

amnesty7:
Imagine! Oyinbo capitalist mentality. He never knows that the kids will definitely come with their blessings. And who promises or guarantees him tomorrow?

.
If it were that easy for kids to come with their blessings, the whole north would have been flowing in riches...

My advise to you....

Stop discussing issue of Chid bearing for now..(say 1 to 3 month)

Anytime you do the do and oga release, try to get hold of the condom and empty the content where you prefer it to be.

You may consider switching to female condom, so you have control (over the condom after use), also you may consider punching tiny hole at the end of the condom.

Avoid wearing pants (inside your room) so you are always ready.

Lastly, if God finally answer your prayer, ensure 80% of child care expenses comes from you, cos na you plan to borne

Steal his sperm na
But these are very serious issues that should have been discussed before you tie the knot, however, it is not too late to do that. Let him see reasons with you and vice-versa. I believe you guys can come to a favorable compromise.

Leave him, come and meet me

So divorce him then!

get to the table and try talking it out with him by seeing it in his own view and likewise you then start from there to start addressing it little by little



Anyway, Agriculture is life.

amnesty7:
Imagine! Oyinbo capitalist mentality. He never knows that the kids will definitely come with their blessings. And who promises or guarantees him tomorrow?

Who promised him tomorrow? Who promised you today?

This is the mentality in Nigeria and that’s how we gave birth and got so many bandits, terrorists, kidnappers and etc. We go ahead giving birth to Children who become socially irresponsible and myopic in thinking! Sadly, you fall into this category!

amnesty7:
Imagine! Oyinbo capitalist mentality. He never knows that the kids will definitely come with their blessings. And who promises or guarantees him tomorrow?

under this current Nigeria economy....I can't blame the man.

He has given you the option of divorcing him, don't disturb us again now.

That man na my G. Can't couple enjoy marriage without children?

Same tin I'd do to my bich,I'd be using condom .no time. Kids would be neglected and they'd become a nuisance to the society and join cult.

Kolawole2130:
We have been married for 3 years now. We stay in a self contained apartment. He tries as much as possible to pay his bills while I support him too with paying the bills.

Since we married, anytime I talk about childbearing he gets angry. Like he may not talk to me for days. I will be the one to come and beg him later. He says his not ready to start bearing kids that he wants to have enough money to take care of the kids. He says he doesnt want his children to suffer.

I am so pissed off, I am 32 now and he is 35 and he earns 100k while I earn 70k. Is that not enough to raise a family. Plus age is not on my side he doesnt look like he will be ready in a year time again. Am already getting tired and people around me are getting married. No body can even talk to him. His mind is made up already.

The last fight we had he said i can go and divorce him if i cannot wait till he is ready. He is busy reading for professional exam instead of him to be thinking of how to produce seed. Professional exam that will last another 2 years. His family can't even talk to him. Am just frustrated already.

YOU ARE A WOMAN, LURE HIM TO DEPOSIT HIS SEED. YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO!

oldienavie:
A lot of terrible advise on this thread, this is a 32 year old woman and it is perfectly within her right to demand for pregnancy. What a selfish and wicked being.
It is unfortunate that OP is in this terrible situation, did you not discuss about this before getting married ?
What exactly were you guys discussing during your courtship ?

Some advices that flies on this forum will want you to question some people's mentality, and if they have a proper working brain!

170k might not be enough to cater for a family, if you have set some certain standards.

If he is serious about it, and you both also pray fervently about it, things will work out just fine.

But you caused it

amnesty7:
Imagine! Oyinbo capitalist mentality. He never knows that the kids will definitely come with their blessings. And who promises or guarantees him tomorrow?

This is why many are in lack and extreme poverty.

Stop thinking this way.

Beblessedbaba:
I so much like your husband. A very sensible man; you want to bring children into the world without proper planning on how to cater for them.

@bold I disagree with u!
I don't see any sense here!
The only reason I am not going to call him a selfish man is if he discussed this with the lady before wedding. If u don't want kids, u have no business with getting married especially in this part of the world! Face your career and get married when u are fully ready. U don't share a meat with your mouth u don't intend to eat!

Fiscus105:



You haven't married ooo

Be on look out

Meanwhile, are you not having sex? What happens to several sex you had in the past?

I guess ur man is sterile and dnt want you to know about it.

My candid advise, report him to his people and threatening him for divorce if he refuses to follow u for medical check up.

Ur time is ticking second by second and closer to menopause.

Too true

amnesty7:
Imagine! Oyinbo capitalist mentality. He never knows that the kids will definitely come with their blessings. And who promises or guarantees him tomorrow?

And by the time he's ready ,what if the kids are forthcoming

Get pregnant against all odds and he’ll sit up when the child arrives. It’s weird how people think money is all you need to raise a child.

Yes you need money but most especially money or no money pikin go grow.

Don’t allow the selfish desire of avoiding children now make you suffer at old age while you raise kids till you die and leave this life.


Men life span dey shorter sef!



Someone needs to reorient your hubby that life will come at him regardless to how every he tries to give you and him a soft landing towards childbearing and raising kids.

Fiscus105:



You haven't married ooo

Be on look out

Meanwhile, are you not having sex? What happens to several sex you had in the past?

I guess ur man is sterile and dnt want you to know about it.

My candid advise, report him to his people and threatening him for divorce if he refuses to follow u for medical check up.

Ur time is ticking second by second and closer to menopause.

Stop this. What kind of mentality is this?

report he yo him family him will listing no time in your side .may God arrest he mind

Fiscus105:



I fear who know fear you o. If she is ur daughter at 32 and married for 3 years , will you be comfortable with it?

Pinch urself with needle before do it for others

She should divorce him and get pregnant simple

Kolawole2130:
We have been married for 3 years now. We stay in a self contained apartment. He tries as much as possible to pay his bills while I support him too with paying the bills.

Since we married, anytime I talk about childbearing he gets angry. Like he may not talk to me for days. I will be the one to come and beg him later. He says his not ready to start bearing kids that he wants to have enough money to take care of the kids. He says he doesnt want his children to suffer.

I am so pissed off, I am 32 now and he is 35 and he earns 100k while I earn 70k. Is that not enough to raise a family. Plus age is not on my side he doesnt look like he will be ready in a year time again. Am already getting tired and people around me are getting married. No body can even talk to him. His mind is made up already.

The last fight we had he said i can go and divorce him if i cannot wait till he is ready. He is busy reading for professional exam instead of him to be thinking of how to produce seed. Professional exam that will last another 2 years. His family can't even talk to him. Am just frustrated already.

Seriously your husband is right. And I support his decision. Life is not all about bearing children but giving a beta life for those kids. What's the point of having children that u can not take good care of, the children u can not give a standard health care and education. I think you should forget what people arround u says and focus on your life and be happy