u dey give ultimatum for reconciliation when u nor know wetin cause the malice. Who does that?.Madam, u are courting premium hatred for yaself.
Person wey even im mama wey born am nor fit move am to forgive im father naim u dey give ultimatum.
When e transfer the hatred to u...u go return for another advice.
Better use ya akonuche

Now i don't support his idea of him not talking to his father,i don't care what the problem is but he should better reconcile with his father.Now that is father is still alive trust me it wont end well on his part.

Yes it should bother you because you are getting married,and what the marriage needs now is an healthy relationship within his family cos it will help at some point.

He should reconcile no matter what the situation might be atleast for your sake.One important thing you should do is always call the father get close to him same way you re close to his mother use wisdom at this stage.

Don't ever have that mindset that your guy isn't talking with his father and you try to do same, abeg no try am the problem is between them no b you get beef with the father so be neutral here,No go carry hate and wahala for your mind o for person father.

slawormiir:
Damnnn niggar
Baby girl relax and continue with your relationship and marriage with your boyfriend


We niggarrrrs got pride....na pride dey worry your boyfriend and he papa

It happens to almost all niggarrrrs at some certain stage of their life....we always have this misunderstanding with our father but it doesn't change the fact that he is still our father

op, never you listen to this advice, be it man or woman, have nothing to do with anyone with unforgiving spirit.

OfficialAwol:

Don't be stupid by leaving a good guy because he doesn't talk to his dad.
Do you talk to everyone around you?

Guy, why you dey reason like a kid, ehn why?

Do you speak.with the father? How old is your relationship with the son? Is it possible the disagreement is because of you?.... religious/tribal differences? If the your fiancé doesn't want to say .... neither does his mother... then you should stay clear of dark family secrets. He nor his mother will never say if it is a case of incest ... he caught the father sleeping with his sister/the father impregnated his sister or the father maybe killed one of his siblings. If he can't say ... keep it moving.

2special:
How can that be a red flag, probably you don't know red flag, you better stick to the guy.

Can you marry a girl that has been keeping malice with her mother for 3yrs?

OfficialAwol:


Don't be stupid by leaving a good guy because he doesn't talk to his dad.

Do you talk to everyone around you?

Marriage is not between just man and woman but between families. No man will marry a girl that's been keeping malice with her mother for 3yrs.
Op should thread carefully rather than jumping into marriage with a divided family.

Nyascobar1414:
Na beta Simp (maga) this gal go find...
A real man wey never marry no go even send you sef...
Imagine saying she's gonna quite the relationship..
Na unless say the man don spend countable gifts and money untop your head that why you have the guts..
I mean how do you wanna tresspass into someone's family.. Na family u wan marry or the man.
Imagine kneeling my kneels to a mere female..
Chaaii.. Some men dey dis life

E sure me say if na man say he fiancé dey keep 3yrs malice with her mama, you not go talk like this.
Marriage is between families not just between man and woman.

KillerBeauty:

E sure me say if na man say he fiancé dey keep 3yrs malice with her mama, you not go talk like this.
Marriage is between families not just between man and woman.

Families kwaa?

Jennyclay:
Good afternoon nairalanders and Happy new year to everyone. I promise to be brief.

My fiance and I hv been dating for 2 years. He's doing well for himself, he's humble, he's quick to apologize even when you're at fault. He calls his mom and siblings regularly, but he don't talk to his Dad. If I ask, he would say forget about him

My fiance has been keeping malice with his father for 3 years now. I don't know what transpired between them because he would never tell me. He act like his father doesn't exist.

His mom and I do talk on phone once in a while. Yesterday I called her to wish her happy new year, we spoke well and she prayed for me. Abt 10 mins later she called back, but this time she was crying, She explained how his son has not been talking to his Father, she said this year 2022 would make it 3 years, she said they have called elders and pastors to talk to him but all to no avail. She said It would be her greatest joy if I also help her talk to him since he loves me so much. We were on the phone for over 45min.

Nairalanders, he's coming to seek my hand in marriage by March but I'm scared and here are my reasons. 1) His he pretending to be nice to me 2) what if we have little misunderstanding when we get married will he forgive me or keep malice with me for years

I was so angry at him, I told him that I'm giving him now till month end to reconcile every conflict or dispute he has with his father else I'm calling our relationship a quit, because this character seems to be a redflag to me. He started begging me, he said I don't understand yet he's not telling me anything.

I'm really confused. Please help a sister.

Hahahaha, all this girls sef, you are giving him one month to settle with his father, as his mother or what?

You are in for sumtin hoooge.....onye gba ọsọ mmanya


.

Jennyclay:
Good afternoon nairalanders and Happy new year to everyone. I promise to be brief.

My fiance and I hv been dating for 2 years. He's doing well for himself, he's humble, he's quick to apologize even when you're at fault. He calls his mom and siblings regularly, but he don't talk to his Dad. If I ask, he would say forget about him

My fiance has been keeping malice with his father for 3 years now. I don't know what transpired between them because he would never tell me. He act like his father doesn't exist.

His mom and I do talk on phone once in a while. Yesterday I called her to wish her happy new year, we spoke well and she prayed for me. Abt 10 mins later she called back, but this time she was crying, She explained how his son has not been talking to his Father, she said this year 2022 would make it 3 years, she said they have called elders and pastors to talk to him but all to no avail. She said It would be her greatest joy if I also help her talk to him since he loves me so much. We were on the phone for over 45min.

Nairalanders, he's coming to seek my hand in marriage by March but I'm scared and here are my reasons. 1) His he pretending to be nice to me 2) what if we have little misunderstanding when we get married will he forgive me or keep malice with me for years

I was so angry at him, I told him that I'm giving him now till month end to reconcile every conflict or dispute he has with his father else I'm calling our relationship a quit, because this character seems to be a redflag to me. He started begging me, he said I don't understand yet he's not telling me anything.

I'm really confused. Please help a sister.

U dey do urself. Na u be Jesus Christ na, Saviour of the whole world, wey wan solve the issue btw him and the father. If u like no marry am, na u sabi. However, don't come here 2maro and start calling men all sorts of names.

Jennyclay:
Good afternoon nairalanders and Happy new year to everyone. I promise to be brief.

My fiance and I hv been dating for 2 years. He's doing well for himself, he's humble, he's quick to apologize even when you're at fault. He calls his mom and siblings regularly, but he don't talk to his Dad. If I ask, he would say forget about him

My fiance has been keeping malice with his father for 3 years now. I don't know what transpired between them because he would never tell me. He act like his father doesn't exist.

His mom and I do talk on phone once in a while. Yesterday I called her to wish her happy new year, we spoke well and she prayed for me. Abt 10 mins later she called back, but this time she was crying, She explained how his son has not been talking to his Father, she said this year 2022 would make it 3 years, she said they have called elders and pastors to talk to him but all to no avail. She said It would be her greatest joy if I also help her talk to him since he loves me so much. We were on the phone for over 45min.

Nairalanders, he's coming to seek my hand in marriage by March but I'm scared and here are my reasons. 1) His he pretending to be nice to me 2) what if we have little misunderstanding when we get married will he forgive me or keep malice with me for years

I was so angry at him, I told him that I'm giving him now till month end to reconcile every conflict or dispute he has with his father else I'm calling our relationship a quit, because this character seems to be a redflag to me. He started begging me, he said I don't understand yet he's not telling me anything.

I'm really confused. Please help a sister.

See this from another angle..
..
..
If he can't tell you what his father did that warranted such, then he can still keep secrets from you. That also means, you're not yet his all-in-all.
So, even if he doesn't want to forgive the man yet,, let him tell you what the issue was.
And let him also tell you if he had confirmed whether the dad was also aware about such events which led to the issue, and also if he had also confirmed whether the dad was also aware that such events that happened were actually the things that led to the issue.
..
If he didn't cool himself down and tell you everything that happened, and the way they happened, you can really not do anything reasonable about the matter ooo.
..
So, try to make him talk to you first.

BluntCrazeMan:
See this from another angle..
..
..
If he can't tell you what his father did that warranted such, then he can still keep secrets from you. That also means, you're not yet his all-in-all.
So, even if he doesn't want to forgive the man yet,, let him tell you what the issue was.
And let him also tell you if he had confirmed whether the dad was also aware about such events which led to the issue, and also if he had also confirmed whether the dad was also aware that such events that happened were actually the things that led to the issue.
..
If he didn't cool himself down and tell you everything that happened, and the way they happened, you can really not do anything reasonable about the matter ooo.
..
So, try to make him talk to you first.

Your English can break coconut.

Please I'm reading right now. I don't have your time okay. Do you think I'm a street girl like your sister?? Please I'm highly responsible with good vibes.

Animal, low-life and zero dead brain like you!!! Please avoid me.

after4:
fine girl, i support you on this, your concerns are very valid. you need to force him to tell you what the matter is because if he can keep malice with his father, he can do it to you. Tell him your fears, why you want to know. It is possible his father betrayed his trust, maybe slept with his girlfriend and he felt he cannot forgive the man. you should know so as to rightly take your decision. as for marriage, if you finally decide to marry him, just try to know his red line and don't cross it as this kind of people get line wey you should not cross. after he has told you, try contacting the father to be sure what your boyfriend told you is correct and to also hear from your father as you cant shave a man in his absence. Tell your boyfriend you need this info to take a decision if to marry him or not. marriage nah for better for worse oh, forget wetin you dey see people do.

..
If they dared to tell her different stories, their separate narratives may confuse her the more if she doesn't have the intelligence to handle such different stories.
..
Let me share my experience here.
Two brothers I know were having issues.
Both of them used to be good friends to me.
I pretended that their malice never concerned me, until one of them tabled their matter to me, hoping that I would hate his brother and become friends to only him.
I told him that I would let the brother know about all the allegations.
When I got to the brother, him sef was angry at me that I left my friendship with his brother and started gossiping about him, so I told him that it wasn't me that started the discussions, and that I meant well.
He listened to the stories I told and even got angrier at his brother for all the allegations, and then told me his own part of the whole story.
I got totally confused..
Two of them were saying different things entirely..
They were actually narrating the same events, but with different details, and from different angles of understanding.
Meehn, I had to avoid both of them for two weeks, while I tried to put all their narratives together to create one full story.
I had to open up to myself that these two guys had some hidden things that they were not telling me, and that they both added too many fake details in their stories in order to paint a very bad picture about the other person, thus the reason for such difficult holes in their stories.
..
I went back to both of them and told them that I can't continue being their friends any longer.
That since they can do this to themselves, not minding being blood brothers to themselves, they can do anything to me when things turn sour.
And that if they really wanted to settle matter between themselves, they both should come together in front of whomever they choose to be their third-party peace-maker, and trash-out their matter face to face, so that there won't be any room for telling lies and heaping false allegations.

Jennyclay:
Your English can break coconut.

Please I'm reading right now. I don't have your time okay. Do you think I'm a street girl like your sister?? Please I'm highly responsible with good vibes.

Animal, low-life and zero dead brain like you!!! Please avoid me.

1. Did I speak too much grammar in my comment.?

2. Did I in any way say (or suggest) that you're a street girl?

3. The words “Animal”, “low-life”, “zero dead brain” are for what exactly??
Did I insult you in my comment?

4. Didn't you understand the solution I tried giving you in my comment?
(Or I did something bad in trying to give a solution to you? Or that my help is not needed??)
..
Go back.. Try to read to the end.. Read and Understand before commenting.
..
Anyway, in case you didn't understand,, I am trying to tell you that you have to know the cause of the malice first.

Jennyclay:
Good afternoon nairalanders and Happy new year to everyone. I promise to be brief.

My fiance and I hv been dating for 2 years. He's doing well for himself, he's humble, he's quick to apologize even when you're at fault. He calls his mom and siblings regularly, but he don't talk to his Dad. If I ask, he would say forget about him

My fiance has been keeping malice with his father for 3 years now. I don't know what transpired between them because he would never tell me. He act like his father doesn't exist.

His mom and I do talk on phone once in a while. Yesterday I called her to wish her happy new year, we spoke well and she prayed for me. Abt 10 mins later she called back, but this time she was crying, She explained how his son has not been talking to his Father, she said this year 2022 would make it 3 years, she said they have called elders and pastors to talk to him but all to no avail. She said It would be her greatest joy if I also help her talk to him since he loves me so much. We were on the phone for over 45min.

Nairalanders, he's coming to seek my hand in marriage by March but I'm scared and here are my reasons. 1) His he pretending to be nice to me 2) what if we have little misunderstanding when we get married will he forgive me or keep malice with me for years

I was so angry at him, I told him that I'm giving him now till month end to reconcile every conflict or dispute he has with his father else I'm calling our relationship a quit, because this character seems to be a redflag to me. He started begging me, he said I don't understand yet he's not telling me anything.

I'm really confused. Please help a sister.

You're very wrong in putting your mouth in an affair that concerns Father and Son. Face your own business or else, it will turn upon you.

And yes, the character is a red flag but na you wan marry na and nobody is perfect. Keep calm, he will reconcile with his Dad very soon.

VOsimhen144:
Baba I don't malice with my family or people around me and I will never do that.

Let's go by the examples that were given here in this thread.
..
Imagine you have a babe, and you love this babe so much, and you had been doing a lot of good things for her.
But your babe no wan fụ́ck you, unto say she be good girl from a responsible home, and you been dey think say she be virgin.
But one day, while you and your guys were taking some bottles at the bar-side of a hotel in your area, your dad's vehicle drove in, and he was carrying a lady on his passenger seat.
You and your guys were even surprised that your dad came to the hotel with a lady who is not your mom.
After some few lovey dovey touches and kisses, they came down to enter the reception, and it happened that the lady with him was your own babe - the good babe that usually prefers seeing you in the house, just because she claimed to be a very good girl, and everybody in your family liked her.
..
With shock and surprise bubbling up in your body, you just couldn't continue with your drinks any longer, you sneaked towards the reception to get clearer view.
While they were booking, you sneaked into the reception, and found your own dad’s right hand tightly gripping and grabbing both her left and right butts anyhow..
Just as they were about to turn so that they can be shown to their room, they saw you and froze still..
Then, after some moments of silence, you asked them: “For how long had this been going on”, but instead of answering, the lady realised herself and just decided to run away from the hotel, and the relationship ended just like that.
..
Oohh.. But your father is still your father.
Isn't it??
..
Now answer me.
..
How long would it take you to forgive your father and take everything normal with him like as if that episode never happened?

Secondly, would you tell your mom about it? Or would both of you keep it as a dark secret between the both of you, and yet it continues hurting you in particular?

Thirdly, would any of your future girlfriends and/or fiancées ever get to know him again, not to talk of them being in good talking terms with him again??

Man, I agree with you. But we are also saying the same thing. You walked away with some hard facts at hand to inform your decision, she does not. That's why I thing she should hear from them both even if they will not open up to her. She can then detect any descripancies in their stories and take her decision. Her fiance might have a valid reason and even if the father lied, the mother might corroborate one of the stories

BluntCrazeMan:

..
If they dared to tell her different stories, their separate narratives may confuse her the more if she doesn't have the intelligence to handle such different stories.
..
Let me share my experience here.
Two brothers I know were having issues.
Both of them used to be good friends to me.
I pretended that their malice never concerned me, until one of them tabled their matter to me, hoping that I would hate his brother and become friends to only him.
I told him that I would let the brother know about all the allegations.
When I got to the brother, him sef was angry at me that I left my friendship with his brother and started gossiping about him, so I told him that it wasn't me that started the discussions, and that I meant well.
He listened to the stories I told and even got angrier at his brother for all the allegations, and then told me his own part of the whole story.
I got totally confused..
Two of them were saying different things entirely..
They were actually narrating the same events, but with different details, and from different angles of understanding.
Meehn, I had to avoid both of them for two weeks, while I tried to put all their narratives together to create one full story.
I had to open up to myself that these two guys had some hidden things that they were not telling me, and that they both added too many fake details in their stories in order to paint a very bad picture about the other person, thus the reason for such difficult holes in their stories.
..
I went back to both of them and told them that I can't continue being their friends any longer.
That since they can do this to themselves, not minding being blood brothers to themselves, they can do anything to me when things turn sour.
And that if they really wanted to settle matter between themselves, they both should come together in front of whomever they choose to be their third-party peace-maker, and trash-out their matter face to face, so that there won't be any room for telling lies and heaping false allegations.

Jennyclay:
Good afternoon nairalanders and Happy new year to everyone. I promise to be brief.

My fiance and I hv been dating for 2 years. He's doing well for himself, he's humble, he's quick to apologize even when you're at fault. He calls his mom and siblings regularly, but he don't talk to his Dad. If I ask, he would say forget about him

My fiance has been keeping malice with his father for 3 years now. I don't know what transpired between them because he would never tell me. He act like his father doesn't exist.

His mom and I do talk on phone once in a while. Yesterday I called her to wish her happy new year, we spoke well and she prayed for me. Abt 10 mins later she called back, but this time she was crying, She explained how his son has not been talking to his Father, she said this year 2022 would make it 3 years, she said they have called elders and pastors to talk to him but all to no avail. She said It would be her greatest joy if I also help her talk to him since he loves me so much. We were on the phone for over 45min.

Nairalanders, he's coming to seek my hand in marriage by March but I'm scared and here are my reasons. 1) His he pretending to be nice to me 2) what if we have little misunderstanding when we get married will he forgive me or keep malice with me for years

I was so angry at him, I told him that I'm giving him now till month end to reconcile every conflict or dispute he has with his father else I'm calling our relationship a quit, because this character seems to be a redflag to me. He started begging me, he said I don't understand yet he's not telling me anything.

I'm really confused. Please help a sister.

Since he is keeping the quarrel with his dad an open secret, what happens if it were to be you, will he still be stubborn about it

Well, if he comes for your hand in marriage, tell your family to ask him about his dad and if he says he is alive, let them go to the father as inlaw to be and find out what the problem is

You can't keep such a sensitive ids away from your family
Who knows, your marriage with him can save the situation

But you too can still visit the father to find out what led to such nonsense

Jennyclay:
Good afternoon nairalanders and Happy new year to everyone. I promise to be brief.

My fiance and I hv been dating for 2 years. He's doing well for himself, he's humble, he's quick to apologize even when you're at fault. He calls his mom and siblings regularly, but he don't talk to his Dad. If I ask, he would say forget about him

My fiance has been keeping malice with his father for 3 years now. I don't know what transpired between them because he would never tell me. He act like his father doesn't exist.

His mom and I do talk on phone once in a while. Yesterday I called her to wish her happy new year, we spoke well and she prayed for me. Abt 10 mins later she called back, but this time she was crying, She explained how his son has not been talking to his Father, she said this year 2022 would make it 3 years, she said they have called elders and pastors to talk to him but all to no avail. She said It would be her greatest joy if I also help her talk to him since he loves me so much. We were on the phone for over 45min.

Nairalanders, he's coming to seek my hand in marriage by March but I'm scared and here are my reasons. 1) His he pretending to be nice to me 2) what if we have little misunderstanding when we get married will he forgive me or keep malice with me for years

I was so angry at him, I told him that I'm giving him now till month end to reconcile every conflict or dispute he has with his father else I'm calling our relationship a quit, because this character seems to be a redflag to me. He started begging me, he said I don't understand yet he's not telling me anything.

I'm really confused. Please help a sister.

fake story

This user has multiple accounts, both male and female

divineappo:
fake story
This user has multiple accounts, both male and female

I thought I was the only one that noticed this. that account is operated by a serial scammer and fraudster.

Both the father and son know the bone of contention here. Most likely,they have been caught up in a Love Triangle. Don't trash the red flag for your best interest!

Jennyclay:
Good afternoon nairalanders and Happy new year to everyone. I promise to be brief.

My fiance and I hv been dating for 2 years. He's doing well for himself, he's humble, he's quick to apologize even when you're at fault. He calls his mom and siblings regularly, but he don't talk to his Dad. If I ask, he would say forget about him

My fiance has been keeping malice with his father for 3 years now. I don't know what transpired between them because he would never tell me. He act like his father doesn't exist.

His mom and I do talk on phone once in a while. Yesterday I called her to wish her happy new year, we spoke well and she prayed for me. Abt 10 mins later she called back, but this time she was crying, She explained how his son has not been talking to his Father, she said this year 2022 would make it 3 years, she said they have called elders and pastors to talk to him but all to no avail. She said It would be her greatest joy if I also help her talk to him since he loves me so much. We were on the phone for over 45min.

Nairalanders, he's coming to seek my hand in marriage by March but I'm scared and here are my reasons. 1) His he pretending to be nice to me 2) what if we have little misunderstanding when we get married will he forgive me or keep malice with me for years

I was so angry at him, I told him that I'm giving him now till month end to reconcile every conflict or dispute he has with his father else I'm calling our relationship a quit, because this character seems to be a redflag to me. He started begging me, he said I don't understand yet he's not telling me anything.

I'm really confused. Please help a sister.

Completely useless and stupid story!!!

Fake story and besides I'm surprised you want to get married. I thought feminist movement don't allow marriage to men

Wetin happen? Are you tired of being a feminist?

You really just made a wise decision...and I encourage you stand by it.

Standing by your man is the priority of the woman, if you can leave him for this, then why are you marrying him. Nigerian love

Why didn't you ask his mom to u since he has refused to?

Why didn't you ask his mom to tell u why he is keeping malice with his dad since he has refused to tell u?

If he is a malice keeper, who told u that you can change him.
Do u even understand what forgiveness is all about. It is a healing that comes from the heart, it is not something that u force. trying to force him to forgive his father is a stupid thing to do. U don't force, u convince and pray for him to get that healing

Jennyclay:
Good afternoon nairalanders and Happy new year to everyone. I promise to be brief.

My fiance and I hv been dating for 2 years. He's doing well for himself, he's humble, he's quick to apologize even when you're at fault. He calls his mom and siblings regularly, but he don't talk to his Dad. If I ask, he would say forget about him

My fiance has been keeping malice with his father for 3 years now. I don't know what transpired between them because he would never tell me. He act like his father doesn't exist.

His mom and I do talk on phone once in a while. Yesterday I called her to wish her happy new year, we spoke well and she prayed for me. Abt 10 mins later she called back, but this time she was crying, She explained how his son has not been talking to his Father, she said this year 2022 would make it 3 years, she said they have called elders and pastors to talk to him but bra bra bra

ask him why he has nt been talkin to his father