merieam16:
I guess a tree can't make a forest you know.

true. However if there was still leverage to mend fences. Why wasn't or shouldn't that be explored to the maximum. She sounds pained to lose the marriage. That's why I made my submission. Divorce is terminal and must be made when all else has failed to bring forth resolution

Difficult to believe right? Well, that is my story.

I've got nothing to gain by fabricating stories or lies.

Let us just learn and mind the people we call friends.




quote author=nedekid post=109192954]
It might be real.
But in all honesty I doubt.
That last part of going abroad made it seem like a nollywood script. [/quote]

7COLOURS:
Difficult to believe right? Well, that is my story.

I've got nothing to gain by fabricating stories or lies.

Let us just learn and mind the people we call friends.




quote author=nedekid post=109192954]
It might be real.
But in all honesty I doubt.
That last part of going abroad made it seem like a nollywood script.

Wow.
Thanks for the advice.

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

Pls try to reconcile with him. It is not green on the other side

kokanepyramid:

The scenario is she bleeped up and she knows( I don’t want to jump to infidelity though most likely) husband requested for space to think. Despite begging, husband didn’t reconsider. After several months she already knows divorce is inevitable.

If the man was at fault, say she left cos he beats her or she caught him cheating she would have mentioned it in her post.

Women sha. Marriage Dey fear me these days. I’d rather not get married than get divorced.imagine the emotional pain he went through for those months they were apart

efficiencie:


May God help you ohh. Sometimes I wonder how and why couples who were ecstatic a couple of years or weeks ago about marriage, go through the hurdles of multiple weddings and enjoy night after night of marital consummation but yet turn out to be the worst of enemies of each other later. It's amazing and mind boggling.

Nowadays when I see couples happy during their wedding day I just feel indifferent because I can guess that 2 years down the line they will start regretting that they ever met.

Pastors and clergymen that join couples in holy matrimony need to thoroughly question intending couples about their motives, hidden fantasies and desires, ambitions, beliefs, philosophies, secrets and other factors hidden at the time of wedding that could destroy the marriage. I believe divorces are rooted in or caused by matters of the past and that most couples get so carried away by the chemistry and prospects of a married life that they forget to settle the core matters that could lead to a divorce.

OP! You may need counsel from others that have experienced divorce!

Unfortunately it's what happen to people that ignore God and His word. The ways of God are immutable.

FERNANDEZISBACK:

What shame?what mockery huh..?
Are you trying to please brainless persons or what?
Let them talk live your life..you are bothering yourself unnecessarily..
** am a single mum of **** so I see no big deal there..

Now coming to solution are the kids gonna be in your custody or his?look life as a divorced woman is quite strenuous..from stereotype to being alone to your mental health to the daft society who are always gonna criticize you..

Just get hold of yourself and wave it off..as a divorced woman I bet you gonna be more self confident.. productive and enjoy your life more..follow your passion and take care of yourself properly.. [size=18pt]welcome to the club of unlimited merriment[/size]..

you women can deceive eachother!!!! which merriment.

2loadedguy:

It is because marriage has outlived its usefulness in the modern day society and we are not ready to face the reality. I am in a marriage already and it's less than a year old and I can tell you it's a scam. I don't see us doing a second year anniversary in this sham we call marriage. Let me give you an analysis, before marriage I a single happening guy and full of life, I had several women at my beck and call and I had a cleaner to clean my flat weekly, someone that cooks for me and deliver it to my doorstep and that's excluding the several women willing to do same function without any cost, I had someone that comes to wash my clothes every weekend and I was also able to save a considerable chunk of my 7 figure monthly pay. I have gotten married now and that situation remains unchanged except that of course I no longer have access to other women and a major part of my finance is going into taking care of another human being in the name of a wife while she's constantly saving her own money or spending it on frivolities.
Now tell me why I won't feel shortchanged and scammed in this union of fantasy called marriage that has taken everything away from me but given me nothing. The very least I should be getting is a woman to cook for me but all those basic domestic issues are still being outsourced to vendors as it was before I got married hence the woman had added no single value to my life but has taken away so much from me.
This is the very reason men are running from marriage now and if I want to advise any single man out there I'd tell him to stay away. The union called marriage is no longer relevant in today's world since women have started forming feminism and we will keep seeing more divorces once people realize they have been scammed into it by the society.

how old was she when you married her? I am getting married but I am not agreeing to monogamy and I tell that to every girl I meet....

WHAT CAUSED THE BREAK UP IN THE MARRIAGE?
WHY DIDN'T U NIP THE BUD IN THE HEAD ?
WHAT DID U DO TO MAKE HIM SEEK DIVORCE?

I won't comment further until I know about these

If theres no emotional or physical abuse: I will advise you go back to your husbands house because its not easy for single mothers out there..

Angeldemon:


you women can deceive eachother!!!! which merriment.

So you don't Know..big man like you..

What are you thinking? Under 10yrs kids. You think here is US? You will see wee,the kids will break you. Without a father always around,you will break. Who takes care of your inner needs when the storm is around? You should have managed till the kids get to 18-19yrs ,then bolt. I can see lots of pride in you and your kids will suffer for your lack of prudence.

You are seeking advice from the people but what does the bible says, a woman is bound to the husband AS long as he is alive, if he is alive and she went to marry another, she has committed adultery against her husband. Settle quickly with your husband while there's still time unless you want to be a divorced woman and an adultress. The only group of people that God takes care of are the fatherless, the orphan and the widow and the stranger. You are not in any of these groups and so where do you fit in? God hates divorce and ensure that you are not doing anything that God hates. If you found yourself cheating on him, repent and sin no more

chilan:


Just make sure you remarry?

Why the "just make sure"?

many ladies end up living for their children forgetting that they have a life. If she is still young she should get married and.live life to.the full

2loadedguy:

It is because marriage has outlived its usefulness in the modern day society and we are not ready to face the reality. I am in a marriage already and it's less than a year old and I can tell you it's a scam. I don't see us doing a second year anniversary in this sham we call marriage. Let me give you an analysis, before marriage I a single happening guy and full of life, I had several women at my beck and call and I had a cleaner to clean my flat weekly, someone that cooks for me and deliver it to my doorstep and that's excluding the several women willing to do same function without any cost, I had someone that comes to wash my clothes every weekend and I was also able to save a considerable chunk of my 7 figure monthly pay. I have gotten married now and that situation remains unchanged except that of course I no longer have access to other women and a major part of my finance is going into taking care of another human being in the name of a wife while she's constantly saving her own money or spending it on frivolities.
Now tell me why I won't feel shortchanged and scammed in this union of fantasy called marriage that has taken everything away from me but given me nothing. The very least I should be getting is a woman to cook for me but all those basic domestic issues are still being outsourced to vendors as it was before I got married hence the woman had added no single value to my life but has taken away so much from me.
This is the very reason men are running from marriage now and if I want to advise any single man out there I'd tell him to stay away. The union called marriage is no longer relevant in today's world since women have started forming feminism and we will keep seeing more divorces once people realize they have been scammed into it by the society.

The issue is not the marriage, but the mindset of the woman involved...I can never marry a woman who believes her money is hers and mine is ours, neither can I marry a woman who believes she shouldnt be involved in domestic chores simply cos some people are saying she shouldnt...The only valid excuse is when she is genuinely not chanced and that will be compensated by the amount of money she will be able to contribute to home running, which will easily make it easy for you guys to pay for domestic help....she needs counseling before she crashes her marriage due to a bad mindset and selfishness

Why don't you people ask what led to the divorce. Divorce should be the last option. Marriage demands alot of sacrifice to make it work from both husband and wife. Let go of your egos and make peace. Life as a single mom or dad is not easy ooo. What endless merriment are you talking of? Why don't you be plain and say endless shagging!! But you will realised that you will become a public toilet where every dick and Harry wants to deposit his juice. Make peace now!

od501:


Why can't she just send two kids to the husband. So...she deprives a man the love of his children and still expect him to be sending money your up keep. Send the male kids to him and relieve the boarden.

The thing is that it's usually difficult for most moms to leave their children behind for fear of maltreatment.
Secondly, it may be very difficult for the father to adequately take care of the children. Raising children alone by one parent comes at a price which may be costly with the man especially if he hasn't a good relative like his mother to handle them.

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

Na wetin we dey talk bdat o, u don go do pass ur power nd the poor man don ready to japa.....there must be a reason ur husband would serve u a divorce letter...definitely, u have given him a very tough time.....Well, for ur question,

Life out side for singles self na die then talkless of mother of 3....anyway, we have a different path to life so u might get lucky even more than when you were with him....just keep ur kids close, draw them nearer nd enjoy the tinz life would throw to u......


but i think finding peace with ur hubby would be perfect for the sake of ur kids unless u want it to end in a tragic way.

PenSniper:


The thing is that it's usually difficult for most moms to leave their children behind for fear of maltreatment.
Secondly, it may be very difficult for the father to adequately take care of the children. Raising children alone by one parent comes at a price which may be costly with the man especially if he hasn't a good relative like his mother to handle them.

Let the man in question decide. We can be making decisions for him. They should talk

Quality20:
just go out there and get a man far better than him to marry

Where you keep the man if I may ask you?

OP,

Your eyes go soon clear, respect your husband, you said NO!

with 3 small children, you see pepper, those married men outside there go blow your punna very well for peanut.

and @50 it will get worse, homeless waiting for you if you are not careful.

This is from life experience.

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

FERNANDEZISBACK:

Someone is seeking advice and you are bringing your Jesus...this is physical and needs physical solution..Jesus have no business here..

Jesus has business everywhere

lomprico:


3 more emotional imbalance young adults will be released in the next decade.

Divorce is not good for young kids.

Well I beg to disagree, Yes I know divorce is bad for children,I am a product of a divorced home and it happened when I was very young but I and my siblings turned out fine. If the parent that is with the children is strong , responsible and dedicated to the children ,the children would turn out fine too.

greggng:


How can she remarry with 3 kids ...that will worsen the kids condition. After the divorce, the should do co-parenting ..with this arrangement, the kids will ve the presence of their father around them most of the times . They might even start fucking occasionally to see if miracle will happen back in their marriage . I once met a man that divorced the wife...two years later the still Bleep each other and the kids don't even know their parents ve issue .They where still fucking untill another belle enter ..one day the kids asked their mum ...how she got pregnant since their dad doesn't always sleep in the house . I know some of you gullible people would want to know the final story ...but unfortunately I am no longer giving it for free
Una go pay for it .

I can relate

prettysassygirl:

Jesus has business everywhere

Ok..

prettysassygirl:

Well I beg to disagree, Yes I know divorce is bad for children,I am a product of a divorced home and it happened when I was very young but I and my siblings turned out fine. If the parent that is with the children is strong , responsible and dedicated to the children ,the children would turn out fine too.

It's someone else that will have to pass that judgement. Divorce 'always' have effect on children. You might not even know you have the problem.

FERNANDEZISBACK:

Rest before you go derail this thread with your myopic mindset..tell that to her husband not her..na by force to marry?

What is wrong in what the OP said? He made the most sense here.

MrSly:

[s]What is wrong in what the OP said? He made the most sense here[/s].

Ok

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

You didn't inform us if you truly want the divorce, if you want to eventually throw everything away and end the family.
Let's start from there and what exactly led to the separation.
Your happiness and ability to move on depends largely on the type of person you are and how willing you're ready to adapt to changes.

topboss:



NDIARA!


THEY SERVE YOU DIVORCE PAPERS AND YOU ARE TALKING MAKE MARRIAGE WORK.


MARRAIGE THAT DID NOT WORK, WILL NOW WORK AFTER SERVING OF DIVORCE PAPERS.


OR U DEY WAIT FOR ONE PERSON TO DIE FIRST, BEFORE YOU MOVE ON? WEREY!

Oga be calming down and stop pouring ur frustrations anywhere. Or you have issues comprehending write-ups?

When I say "make ur marriages work", I wasn't saying it's after divorce. I mean ladies should make their marriages work, divorce is not the best option.

Mind you I am not the OP oo.

obiekunie01:
hmmm.

How about living for Jesus Chris? Try it and you won't regret.

It's what I am doing currently

madone:
Just make sure u remarry. You will be fine . Keep urself beautiful

Is it That easy?