Graceobey:
Pray to God again

Okay. Thanks

redstaarx:


You never talk wetin you do madam
What led to such situation

Oga if you know the cause, e no go change anything nah.

Optimistic4life:


No I don't want the divorce. I am only granting it because he asked for it because even if I don't, the judge is still going to grant it anyway after all the back and forth.

if you don't want the divorce. Why does he want it. Why did things breakdown iredeemably on his end but not on yours. Did you let him know you don't want a divorce? It's never too late to say how you feel about everything. If still redeemable

Optimistic4life:


This is the only reasonable thing your brain could come up with after reading my post?

It is well with you, Nosa

Na that one come my head

Optimistic4life:


Hate their father? God forbid.

Infact when they want to visit him, I always encourage them to play with him very well. I tell them... Make sure you jump on his body plenty times and let him carry you.

He must be part of their lives. No be him sperm contribute form them?

That is good. Some mothers turn their fathers against their children in a divorce.

Optimistic4life:



It would have been so good if it's going the way you analyzed it.

Matter of fact he has refused to pay the kids school fees.

Yet I happily let him take the kids every fortnight (3 days) so they can bond and see their daddy.

Sorry about that... Just manage try to pay the fee yourself...

May the Lord Be with you

Optimistic4life:


Life is not all about shining Congo you know.


Some of us are pretty decent.

Decency doesnt mean you should not respond to your biological needs. These things keep one healthy and sane. One just have to be disciplined about it, but congo must be shined

Optimistic4life:



It would have been so good if it's going the way you analyzed it.

Matter of fact he has refused to pay the kids school fees.

Yet I happily let him take the kids every fortnight (3 days) so they can bond and see their daddy.

Why? They go to his house to spend time and yet he won't pay?
Anyway,I hope the divorce settlement will compel him to pay.

I'm serious..

Optimistic4life:



LOL...

I'm serious...... And I'm sorry you're Going through this shit..
................................................
But life Goes on..

Optimistic4life:



LOL...

davidadenrele:
Hello,
First of all i salute your courage for been able to come out and ask for advice, been a divorcee can be challenging for a woman in typical Nigerian society however i see you forging ahead since you are not afraid, you will have to work very hard let be honest having a kid is not that easy not to talk of 3kids, may I asked you did you request for child support in court while you filing for divorce through your lawyer because you will need child support from your kids father, it's either it's paid in weekly or monthly and its has to be something substaining for you and your kids.

U bear Adenrele David too.. Nice to meet you sir..

DenreleDave says hy

i thought as much too

thorpido:
Why? They go to his house to spend time and yet he won't pay?
Anyway,I hope the divorce settlement will compel him to pay.

Optimistic4life:


Not my kids.

They are going to be emotionally balanced and we'll raised

Are u divorced?

uote author=DenreleDave post=109251828]


U bear Adenrele David too.. Nice to meet you sir..

DenreleDave says hy[/quote]

You welcome.

Optimistic4life:


If there is a chance that it can work again between you both, please try.

Please.

Nah,
Its in the past.
Was a shadow of myself the entire marriage

Signum:


Oga be calming down and stop pouring ur frustrations anywhere. Or you have issues comprehending write-ups?

When I say "make ur marriages work", I wasn't saying it's after divorce. I mean ladies should make their marriages work, divorce is not the best option.

Mind you I am not the OP oo.

You are right, we should make our marriages to work while we are in it. The other option is not palatable. The bible says that the woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive. If she marries while the husband is alive, she shall be called an adultress. Let her go and make peace with the man.

Quality20:
just go out there and get a man far better than him to marry

After 3 kids? Why don't you offer to marry her? She needs time to understand why she and her ex couldn't keep it together. There are many single beautiful ladies out there, why do you think anyone would prefer a mother of 3 over them.

Of course, there's life after divorce but she should never be under any illusion that things will be easy. If she ends up finding a new committed partner, which is a remote possibility by the way, it would still be a man, never an angel from heaven. The best of men are still men, try to avoid divorce unless if it's practically impossible to do so. I wish you luck.

Optimistic4life:


If there is a chance that it can work again between you both, please try.

Please.

Why haven't you taken this route yourself. I know that marriage can be tough but divorce to a large extent is the result of pure ego. Let me advise you, your divorce is not yet finalised, therefore, make a move to mend walls with your husband, unless if he completely rebuffs and is unyielding. Divorce after 3 kids seems like a bad decision in my view.

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

if you truly have Christ in you. I don't believe u will have such problem in your marriage. A real man never leave a wife who truly have Christ. Though u can be church goer and not really God's like
Go and settle with your husband.

Gainman:
1. if you truly have Christ in you. I don't believe u will have such problem in your marriage.
2. A real man never leave a wife who truly have Christ.

3. Though u can be church goer and not really God's like Go and settle with your husband.

That statement in bold is born of your ignorance and not the truth of Jesus Christ.

2. Your definition of what a real man is has absolutely nothing to do with Jesus Christ.

3. Settle with her husband for what? And why associate her marital situation with God where God Himself told you that your marriages are of this world and not of the Kingdom of God - Luke 20 vs 34 - 36?

madone:
Just make sure u remarry. You will be fine . Keep urself beautiful

is that your solution for her. To re marry. What of if she is d problem. By d time she realise it,she must make re marry like 4 times.

Gainman:
is that your solution for her. To re marry. What of if she is d problem. By d time she realise it,she must make re marry like 4 times.

And if the problem was not of her making, what is wrong with her moving on and remarrying?

There are men who are on their nth wife in that Nigerian who are still hailed as real men by folks like you. You ever stop to ask put them to the same stake?

sooperrescue:
You are right, we should make our marriages to work while we are in it. The other option is not palatable. The bible says that the woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive. If she marries while the husband is alive, she shall be called an adultress. Let her go and make peace with the man.

The Bible doesn't say that, instead Paul asserts that in trying to explain an unrelated idea he had of the law to you but obviously that went over your head there.

Quality20:
just go out there and get a man far better than him to marry

how did you finalise d husband is d one at fault. U are not a good judge

Optimistic4life:


My sexual desires have dried up (my mindset since there is no legal man to take care of it )

So thanks but no thanks.

let me take the legal route if u are obedient

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

In God's Dictionary, there's nothing like divorce and remarriage. You and your husband should make amendments or you risk staying that way till Jesus come.

Just negodu

Gainman:
if you truly have Christ in you. I don't believe u will have such problem in your marriage. A real man never leave a wife who truly have Christ.

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

What made the marriage not work out, leading to separation after 10 years plus, based on the age of your children?

Modified due to your response below earlier.

Optimistic4life:
Yeah it's because of them I was willing to try again but their dad rushed to court to seek for divorce all because of multiple strange women.

PastorPaul1:
In God's Dictionary, there's nothing like divorce and remarriage. You and your husband should make amendments or you risk staying that way till Jesus come.

I guess that your God's dictionary is limited to the Bible, and not other references to texts/understandings of the Unknown God preached by Paul to Athenians.
Moreover in the Bible, divorce and remarriage are allowed, so stop telling lies that will land you in hellfire.

You never talk wetin you do madam
What led to such situation

I can assure you that she got caught cheating that's why she got booted out..I have no sympathy for cheating wives..when she was with her husband she cheated and now that she is single she wants to be forming celibacy and fear of God

IamANigerianMan:
Op, what she needs is Jesus, people that divorce have a very stupid reason. No marriage is perfect on earth including my own but we continue to learn everyday, before, I would never tell my wife sorry but today I have learnt to say sorry immediately I am wrong.. I know a couple that divorce because the man did not give her what you people call head, ego , pride are all reason for divorce, that is why she needs Jesus.

Is the bold part what I think it is, or just my "dirty" mind playing up

Saintinoo:
The day you women will understand that there is only one captain in a ship, that is the day divorce will stop. kindly leave with it.

Well said, BUT the man should work lovingly with the co-pilot/co-captain for smooth sailing. Not so