so its after divorce that u want her to be productive, when she was inside, productivity was not an option?.. its medicine after death.

OP, Better find ur way around it and return to your husband. Its never easy outside dont let anybody deceive you that it will be fine out there. Know the reasons why he served u divorce and see how u can work really hard to meet up with it, if not, just get prepared its NEVER easy outside there.

FERNANDEZISBACK:

What shame?what mockery huh..?
Are you trying to please brainless persons or what?
Let them talk live your life..you are bothering yourself unnecessarily..
** am a single mum of **** so I see no big deal there..

Now coming to solution are the kids gonna be in your custody or his?look life as a divorced woman is quite strenuous..from stereotype to being alone to your mental health to the daft society who are always gonna criticize you..

Just get hold of yourself and wave it off..as a divorced woman I bet you gonna be more self confident.. productive and enjoy your life more..follow your passion and take care of yourself properly.. welcome to the club of unlimited merriment..

FERNANDEZISBACK:

Rest before you go derail this thread with your myopic mindset..tell that to her husband not her..na by force to marry?

As stupid and funny you think his contribution is does not take it from the reality of life. I guess you are not married, obviously you have little knowledge on the emotional aspect of the case at hand. Since you think marriage is not for everybody, will you gladly say amen if I pray that you will remain single for life?

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

Don't let anybody tell you lies to make you feel alright online. Being divorced as a woman is not easy anywhere in the world, not even in the US no matter how rosy they paint it.


The only advantage of being divorced in the western country is that your financial burden will be lesser because your ex hubby will be paying you child support, but then, most divorced ladies in the west end up squandering that child support on gigolo boys they try so hard to please for sexual satisfaction.



Some end up falling into the hands of internet romance scammers from Africa.


As a married woman, whatever you can do to save your marriage please do.


I have an elder brother who divorced his wife because the lady was so uncultured. She felt it doesn't matter since she had a high paying job and looks really beautiful I must admit. But few years later, she started regretting it, trying to come back through our elder sister, but my brother self don remarry a wonderful lady which she seems not to be aware of.



I learnt she lies to her kids that their dad lives abroad cos they always ask after their dad. I also learnt she is planning to remarry to an old man of 68yrs after claiming that being a single mother was the sweetest thing on earth.


Despite all the money she has, she couldn't stay single like she portrayed, now she is so desperate to remarry that she is considering a 68yrs old man. This is a lady of 43yrs or so.





Dear ladies, before you get married, ask God to help you marry the right man and also pray for wisdom to make your marriage work.



Divorce doesn't favour women, it only looks like it favors women in western world cos of material things they would get and child support, but I tell you, they still pay for it one way or the other. Many of them remarry like 5 times more before they clock 60yrs. Some end up with romance scammers and gigolos who charge them for sex.

It's always a pity that majority of those giving advice here are marriage illiterate, they lack experience to give advice.

Madam, if you have faith prayers can turn things around as regards your marriage

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

One fact you should know is 95% of marriage worldwide are in tact because both partners decided to make that ultimate sacrifice to stick together when they shouldn’t be together anymore because of THIER KIDS. I will not ask you what lead to your husband serving you a divorce paper, I will not ask you who is at fault because there are always two side to a story. What I will advice you is you called the short one last time by having a sit and talk discussion with him if y’all really wanna go down that path or find that spark back!. I had a serious issue with my wife and separated for 6 months and got back, not like we both did anything outside during this 6 months (Me I didn’t on my own part though and I don’t know if she did even though I believed she didn’t because she is faithful, loyal but bitterly stubborn woman). 3 beautiful kids with any woman is enough reason for me to put up with her flaws for life and stick with her. My dear it’s a cruel world out there, try and fix this marriage if you can as a wife because of your kids!

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me

it sounds like your mind isn't made up for this, it's better you try working things out with your man for the very last time, for the sake of your kids..
Don't mind ladies who support your divorce.... They want more people to be like them. If the relationship wast a violence related one.. Kindly reconsider it.

It's really cold outthere

nosa2:


Your Kpekus is about to get a whole lot of firing

na so you carry your madness enter 2022

alizma:

As stupid and funny you think his contribution is does not take it from the reality of life. I guess you are not married, obviously you have little knowledge on the emotional aspect of the case at hand. Since you think marriage is not for everybody, will you gladly say amen if I pray that you will remain single for life?

Sure amen...
Now get out of my mention..

ednut1:
Nothing fun there in nigeria. To find love again will be hard, when konji hold you na small boys around you go dey nack in secret . Men and woman abeg let your marriage work

Gibberish

ss1930:
so its after divorce that u want her to be productive, when she was inside, productivity was not an option?.. its medicine after death.

OP, Better find ur way around it and return to your husband. Its never easy outside dont let anybody deceive you that it will be fine out there. Know the reasons why he served u divorce and see how u can work really hard to meet up with it, if not, just get prepared its NEVER easy outside there.

Stop mentioning me unnecessarily aiit..

obiekunie01:
hmmm.

How about living for Jesus Chris? Try it and you won't regret.

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

Come to Abuja n see divorce especially hausas. Once de lady who wasn't working start making plenty money , divorce is about to happen.

When a lady is too beautiful n her husband use to worship her n does what she wants all the time, if the husband at some point stop doing that divorce is about to happen.

When a husband who was Rich becomes poor or jobless, divorce is about to happen.

Many reasons for divorce; Infidelity, domestic violence, Bad character especially by ladies n unrepentant bad habit

Tejumola856:
Waiting for elders

Omg! FTC. I have make it in life all thanks to nairaland redpill and Alpha male
This is my first FTC since I’ve joined nairaland.

I dedicate this to my friends and family, more wins to me.

I don’t know what to say again I’m crying rn

ya sick

Just put your mind at rest .. let all the issues that caused the division bygone away from your mind and attitude ... Still maintenance your natural understanding with your husband because of the children.

keep the children mind away from divorce and give them maximum love and care ..

Time will definitely heal the bitter feeling both you and yr ex.husband shared and will get to a normal level of understanding relationship which will help the children to get better

keeping the bitter feeling with you will definitely transfer to the children and will be a future battle ..

I am a direct victim of this scenario as a child

wish you all the best

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.


How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

It is well with you. Most importantly for the sake of innocent beautiful children's welfare especially their education find a common ground with humility o( no insult or public embarrassment) so he can still be discharging his fatherly role where most necessary.

Again, this is not the end. I say so because myself and wife separated for 7 months but today we are back . I believe in Miracle.

davidadenrele:
Hello,
First of all i salute your courage for been able to come out and ask for advice, been a divorcee can be challenging for a woman in typical Nigerian society however i see you forging ahead since you are not afraid, you will have to work very hard let be honest having a kid is not that easy not to talk of 3kids, may I asked you did you request for child support in court while you filing for divorce through your lawyer because you will need child support from your kids father, it's either it's paid in weekly or monthly and its has to be something substaining for you and your kids.

Secondly you have to either work twice or get a business that will help you finance your kids financial burden without you being a burden to your friends and family at this moment Nigeria economy is not smiling at all, it's not easy out there trust me people will give assurance not worry that they will support you it's all a lie no one cares everybody is struggling to survive now in Nigeria. aside yahoo plus boys and ritualist, and politicians.

You will have to sit down a make a plan on how you intend to provide for your kids every month, your house rent, feeding, school fees, extra school needs, what kids of now are days can't do without like bobo, biscuits, sweets and stuffs. Let me be honest with you it's not going to be easy I know of a divorcee with kids it's not an easy task, but with God on your side you will be fine at the end. You will need support you will need assistance and you will your immediate family around you if it's only you it would have been better having to take care of kids in Nigeria of today is like climbing Mount Everest because of their excessive demands, they keep calling Mummy we want this we want that!! You have to be firm with your kids, at the same don't be too rigid and don't be too gentle when applying discipline where necessary at the same time montior them they could embrassed you if your not careful cos when they go hungry they could expose you unintentionally to your next neighbour cos at that moment what they cared about is there belly as its possible if you don't arrived from work in time for them to go and into your next neighbour house will not be a thing of shame to them afterall they have friends as next neighbour. Restrict them from collecting things from strangers, monitor them very well to avoid sexual pedophiles who could take advantage of no father figure in their lives. Provide quality to ensure they do their home work and take their studies seriously.

On a final note be you a Christian or Muslim ensure they observed prayers and good home moral training it's well with you.

The man would take full responsibility of the kids upkeep provided he owns them. The woman only needs to work and be supportive. Moreso, she needs to stand firm for the kids

[But he maybe right, I think the first thing is to know if the lady have intention of remarrying, for the knacking, hmmm that one is inevitable now


quote author=FERNANDEZISBACK post=109178784]
Rest before you go derail this thread with your myopic mindset..tell that to her husband not her..na by force to marry?[/quote]

medications after death!uv bn seperated for a while.u saw it coming but refused to do anything abt it!is it the false ego or what?a stitch in time saves nine!look at our divorced celebrities.dont u see its the women that are at the receiving end?most of the men av remarried while the women are still gambling with dfft men!the man gave u enough time to make amends but u goofed!!

How do i deal with Lcredit loan app? I applied for a loan from Lcredit the sum of #14,700 to pay #18,700 in the space of two weeks. I could not repay the money in two weeks time but before then i had informed them that i won't be able to pay up. At the long run i made a part payment and finally paid up. After paying the #18,700, they now came up with #8,336 as peso for late payment which i refused to pay because i had no knowledge of it. For that reason they have calling all my contacts that i am still owning them. Please advise.

ask4chigozirim:
[But he maybe right, I think the first thing is to know if the lady have intention of remarrying, for the knacking, hmmm that one is inevitable now


quote author=FERNANDEZISBACK post=109178784]
Rest before you go derail this thread with your myopic mindset..tell that to her husband not her..na by force to marry?

Then he should put it the right way..abeg make una no dey disturb me oo..haba..

efficiencie:


May God help you ohh. Sometimes I wonder how and why couples who were ecstatic a couple of years or weeks ago about marriage, go through the hurdles of multiple weddings and enjoy night after night of marital consummation but yet turn out to be the worst of enemies of each other later. It's amazing and mind boggling.

Nowadays when I see couples happy during their wedding day I just feel indifferent because I can guess that 2 years down the line they will start regretting that they ever met.

Pastors and clergymen that join couples in holy matrimony need to thoroughly question intending couples about their motives, hidden fantasies and desires, ambitions, beliefs, philosophies, secrets and other factors hidden at the time of wedding that could destroy the marriage. I believe divorces are rooted in or caused by matters of the past and that most couples get so carried away by the chemistry and prospects of a married life that they forget to settle the core matters that could lead to a divorce.

OP! You may need counsel from others that have experienced divorce!

Because people particularly ladies hide a lot of things from you while dating so you don’t change your mind about marrying them. Things that you’ll most likely find out after the wedding ceremony, you would have started finding out some sef during the wedding preparations even at the wedding venue but you would find it difficult to cut off the wedding. Tilll later in marriage where you can’t just continue with such.

Quality20:
just go out there and get a man far better than him to marry

It's easy to pick husband like beans abi?

FERNANDEZISBACK:

What shame?what mockery huh..?
Are you trying to please brainless persons or what?
Let them talk live your life..you are bothering yourself unnecessarily..
** am a single mum of **** so I see no big deal there..

Now coming to solution are the kids gonna be in your custody or his?look life as a divorced woman is quite strenuous..from stereotype to being alone to your mental health to the daft society who are always gonna criticize you..

Just get hold of yourself and wave it off..as a divorced woman I bet you gonna be more self confident.. productive and enjoy your life more..follow your passion and take care of yourself properly.. welcome to the club of unlimited merriment..

Carry one of your brother give her since no big deal

There kids almost 10 years

If you don't gerrite forgerrite

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

Life is actually a tough one. I wonder if it's easy for anyone. I hate divorce! But life must go on...
If it must happen, then just brace yourself, you will be fine. There's nothing really special out there as far as I am concerned. Just be yourself, be disciplined, be content, don't expect too much and don't rush into any other relationship for now and have a plan on how you intend to cope and importantly taking care of the children. I hope your husband will still care for his kids.

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

Shouldn't living with Jesus also enlighten you on how to keep your home?

Fruitless Christianity is what you are practicing

davidadenrele:
Hello,
First of all i salute your courage for been able to come out and ask for advice, been a divorcee can be challenging for a woman in typical Nigerian society however i see you forging ahead since you are not afraid, you will have to work very hard let be honest having a kid is not that easy not to talk of 3kids, may I asked you did you request for child support in court while you filing for divorce through your lawyer because you will need child support from your kids father, it's either it's paid in weekly or monthly and its has to be something substaining for you and your kids.

Secondly you have to either work twice or get a business that will help you finance your kids financial burden without you being a burden to your friends and family at this moment Nigeria economy is not smiling at all, it's not easy out there trust me people will give assurance not worry that they will support you it's all a lie no one cares everybody is struggling to survive now in Nigeria. aside yahoo plus boys and ritualist, and politicians.

You will have to sit down a make a plan on how you intend to provide for your kids every month, your house rent, feeding, school fees, extra school needs, what kids of now are days can't do without like bobo, biscuits, sweets and stuffs. Let me be honest with you it's not going to be easy I know of a divorcee with kids it's not an easy task, but with God on your side you will be fine at the end. You will need support you will need assistance and you will your immediate family around you if it's only you it would have been better having to take care of kids in Nigeria of today is like climbing Mount Everest because of their excessive demands, they keep calling Mummy we want this we want that!! You have to be firm with your kids, at the same don't be too rigid and don't be too gentle when applying discipline where necessary at the same time montior them they could embrassed you if your not careful cos when they go hungry they could expose you unintentionally to your next neighbour cos at that moment what they cared about is there belly as its possible if you don't arrived from work in time for them to go and into your next neighbour house will not be a thing of shame to them afterall they have friends as next neighbour. Restrict them from collecting things from strangers, monitor them very well to avoid sexual pedophiles who could take advantage of no father figure in their lives. Provide quality to ensure they do their home work and take their studies seriously.

On a final note be you a Christian or Muslim ensure they observed prayers and good home moral training it's well with you.

God bless you
Good advise

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

Like someone rightly said, if all possible chance to resolve the issue has been lost, prepare your mind positively towards the future. If you are not working, get a job or business, after 6month or a year, be open to new relationship but let it be a relationship of your kind of person, I mean someone who is looking for companion not necessarily for children and someone who can also take care of himself not someone who is coming to feed on you on the excuse that he is providing emotional comfort for you. With the above you can regain yourself and enjoy your life even better.
Don't be deceived into the saying, stay single for the children, you know your sex drive more than anyone else, you know how much you desire to be treated by opposite sex when you are down more than anyone else, so do what will make you happy while protecting the kids at the same time. As for what people will say, my dear, live your life, be alive and healthy, what they say should be their business.

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

sorry about that can you inbox me.i need to share very important issue wit you not here in public thank you and God bless you

Wao! I so sorry about that, I know so many things would have been done to salvage it but if you still want him, pray and seek God's face for him, show him more love even if you have to fake it just show love, tell your children to beg him and try to find out why he wants to leave. Get all the pictures and loving memories you've had together, show them to him and politely let him know you still want him.

You may not be fine, it might be difficult to find a person who wants a mother of 3 to start with and there is a whole lot of things that are yet to be unfolded.

Please don't keep quite on it, return the divorce papers to him that you're not interested he should tell you what he want and discuss.

I pray you both don't divorce.

Please pray my sister and God will help you.

HacheNoire:
You will be fine!

Trust me!

But your kids growing up without a fatherly figure, will forever have a psychological impact on them.

The brunt of divorce is bared by the kids. You and their father will be fine.

FERNANDEZISBACK:

[s]What shame?what mockery huh..?
Are you trying to please brainless persons or what?
Let them talk live your life..you are bothering yourself unnecessarily..
** am a single mum of **** so I see no big deal there..

Now coming to solution are the kids gonna be in your custody or his?look life as a divorced woman is quite strenuous..from stereotype to being alone to your mental health to the daft society who are always gonna criticize you..

Just get hold of yourself and wave it off..as a divorced woman I bet you gonna be more self confident.. productive and enjoy your life more..follow your passion and take care of yourself properly.. welcome to the club of unlimited merriment.. [/s]

Misery loves company,I just knew you're a single mother without reading all. No wonder you're eager to welcome her to your suffering club