Draslo:
You want to drag your kids' love with your wife or what?
What if you're a military man and you're never around?
What if you're an expat in another country and you no dey ever dey?
What if you're a sailor and your presence at home is nothing to write home about?
What if......?


I could go on and on. Just stop there and do what your duties are as a father and husband to your nuclear and the love will never die. Don't ever expect all your kids to love you equally but remember that no matter what they all love you unconditionally.


What do I know anyways? I'm just a single guy without any offspring yet so maybe I don't know what I'm saying.

When I saw this thread I instantly knew that hegoats like you will soon invade with their achaic thinking to rubbish a good thread.

Military man no dey ever come back? Expatriate no dey ever come back?
Sailor no dey ever come back?

Must you continue to be senseless in this life.

Simple. Whenever you are around make sure you make it memorable for the kids so they will be the one begging for you to come back.

Make your Kids crave and love you. Be smart for once. Otondo!

coolhumble:
To those who commented otherwise can you please take the point and learn one or two from this? OP I salute you for this piece you shared today. You don't know what you have done for so many men who will from this day change their perception about their fathers.

I was already about 30 years of age before I understood what it means to be a man. I had to call my dad to come over to my place in lagos for the first time and we did shopping for him, made him drink his favourite and even joked about giving him a girl to keep his company. I had serious hatred for him due to what I learnt from my mom and some that he did that I know of but then when I grew up I realised what it takes to be a man and I made up with my wonderful father. He died 2013 which I still cry about almost everyday because I never fulfilled all my promises to him.

Take heart sir...at least good a thing you made a move to amend things with him...and you even flexed him too!!! You did a great job sir please do not feel bad. I would say for certain , the smile on his face while you took him out should be one of your most cherished moments you should keep close to your heart ... Keep wining sir!!

Thank you so much sir. This really means a lot to me. Thank you!

lordally:


Take heart sir...at least good a thing you made a move to amend things with him...and you even flexed him too!!! You did a great job sir please do not feel bad. I would say for certain , the smile on his face while you took him out should be one of your most cherished moments you should keep close to your heart ... Keep wining sir!!

HIPROFILE:



They key to all this is this.

As a man while you hustle hustle hard to take care of your family at same time reserve certain amounts in savings for your old age in an account not known to your wife or kids maybe known to a trusted friend or brother or sister in case of any sudden exit. You may also keep some properties that generates you revenue to sustain your life style at old age.

Men are unfairly treated and the kind of wives we have this days most are horrible they will totally turn the kids against the man. Only very few understands the deep and unseen sacrifices the man put through.

I love your post the most. Arrange things that you will fall back on as a man, especially in your old age. You can never be so sure. Keep secrets.

Yes u're right. Bathe the ones that are young enough, clean their bumbum wen they poo. Help with their chores wen they re sick no b everything mama go do. So Tomorrow wen they re playing sweet mother, your kids will also be singing sweet father I no go forget you.

CondemnBattery:
So I saw a thread earlier, and decided to educate husbands in the house how to play the home politics, just as adviced by my pastor's wife.

My pastor's wife thought me a valuable lesson. She legitly told us to be smart as husbands, when the kids did something wrong in your absence and your wife did not discipline the child, but waits for you to come back and discipline them, don't. Make sure she disciplines them herself, otherwise your kids will think you are the wicked one and the evil one.

Don't always give your wife all the money to buy things for the kids, take the children out to the market, buy them clothes, take them to the grocery store, buy the provision in their present. Let them know you are the one buying them. If you buy them shoes or anything, make sure they are aware that you are the one buying them. If you do all these, the kids will love you more. This is 2022, don't allow your wife rob you of your years of labor when it's time to reap.

You can add your own way of playing the family politics.

Please if this is front page worthy, kindly move to fp, so men can learn 1 or 2 this new year.

May our wives not take all our glory all in the name of I'm too busy in Jesus name. Amen

A huge hug for you my friend. Women are so manipulative both young and old.

So wiffy was finding it difficult to accept she was wrong and apologize. As Man wey no wan die young, decided to leave her and face my front. Her mother later came around and was curious to know why I don't eat at home. Hmmn, mumu me ended up spending close to an hour to catalogue what her daughter did. She apologized and promised to speak with her daughter.

2 days went down, no feedback from mother inlaw neither did her daughter apologize. All of us dey the same house dey run our things and this woman sat down cozing up with her daughter. I let it slide and took my kids out as per say nothing concern me. You won't believe she took offence and refused to speak with her OWN kids the following day. Innocent as they are, those ones were just wondering what happened. Their mother inlaw had to call them in to apologize to their mum behind me after asking if they love her. Laughs, I went bonkers when the kids told me and that was the last straw for me.

I don tell the pikin to either choose me or her mother and I don't ever want to see her in my house again. See ehn, na make God just Bless Man otherwise, woman will drag you like generator while pretending they no not what they do.

Am a father and o know this very well.i pay their school fees and let them know that I paid it,i took them where I am building a house at the village for them to see what their Dad is doing.i go to market with their mum to buy Christmas clothes for them and they are taking note.whenever i come back to the house i made sure I carry them up to the sky and they enjoy it all the time.their mother cannot carry them except for one that is 2 yrs.in the absence of my wife i cook food and feed them.i take them to school in the morning and buy them biscuits on the way.tell me how they will forget me when am weak and old.
I have not forgotten my father's sacrifices to send me to school.i care for him and send him money.
You should send your father more money than your mother because he spends more money for the family while your mother will still collect feeding money from your father.that is the truth unless your father is not responsible

Limassol:
The author of this post is mistaken in thinking children can easily be manipulated and misled, hardly, not when they are adults and grown ups... with time one could easily realise who is who. A nasty mother can't mask her nastiness, same for the father.

Not a mistake. Children can and have being manipulated, misled by women. The children may eventually realize when they are adults, but then, all the years have gone by.

salt1:


Those are the things you value which may not appeal to them.
Your legacy to them can include quality education, strong religious values and memorable moments of laughter

Bros it is outright wickedness to have kids in Nigeria without planning their future...

captainamiedi1:
Provide for them. dont be a dead beat father. Always be there for them. even if their mother tell lies about you to them, one day, they will know the truth. i have a dead beat father and i don't about him. he manage the little from my mom. he has never paid my school nor buy food. he would reap where he didn't sow. we have open a shop for my mom. last December i gave her 90k. i gave my dad no money. it was my mom that gave him 10k from her 90k.

The children are not stupid they see all the effort of the parents. you don't drink away ur life and expect so much from me

I hope you can differentiate a deadbeat father from one without economic means? I've seen many women mislead their children that their poor father was deadbeat when in fact he didn't have the means. If a woman is the one providing for the home, she most times rub it on everyone's face and diminish the worth of her partner in the eyes of her children.

WayStage:
OP, pls can I use these your points for a *social experiment*? It's gonna be documented... How do I reach you pls?

Sure you can boss. My details are below on my signature

emmyN:


I hope you can differentiate a deadbeat father from one without economic means? I've seen many women mislead their children that their poor father was deadbeat when in fact he didn't have the means. If a woman is the one providing for the home, she most times rub it on everyone's face and diminish the worth of her partner in the eyes of her children.

what if the father is not making an effort to help. Everybody they hustle when the father refuse to hustle, what do you call sure man?

captainamiedi1:


what if the father is not making an effort to help. Everybody they hustle when the father refuse to hustle, what do you call sure man?

He refused to hustle or wasn't taking up the jobs you felt he should? A man that won't work won't eat. So if he was indeed sitting at home all day while waiting for the day worker partner to bring in supplies, I'll call him the house husband.

Kingpele:
Hahaha ,well am a man with kids ,if u don't want to have problems with your family members try to show real love to your wife and be faithful to her,especially during the early years of your marriage before she start to make her own money or before the kids grow up into Adults,she will be the person promoting you before your kids behind your back, because a woman can never talk ill of the real love of her life ,I travel to village for meetings and community elections for two weeks when I came back i saw that my kids really missed me cos my wife missed me ,out of the blues my second boy said to me u are the best dad in the world, I knew my wife taught him to say that while I was away ,so love your wife and take care of her needs according to your capacity u will have a peaceful life and your kids will love you and take care of you in your old age..

Congrats, like say you marry better wife.
Pamper her till kingdom come, witch wife go still dey sabotage your efforts

CondemnBattery:
So I saw a thread earlier, and decided to educate husbands in the house how to play the home politics, just as adviced by my pastor's wife.

My pastor's wife thought me a valuable lesson. She legitly told us to be smart as husbands, when the kids did something wrong in your absence and your wife did not discipline the child, but waits for you to come back and discipline them, don't. Make sure she disciplines them herself, otherwise your kids will think you are the wicked one and the evil one.

Don't always give your wife all the money to buy things for the kids, take the children out to the market, buy them clothes, take them to the grocery store, buy the provision in their present. Let them know you are the one buying them. If you buy them shoes or anything, make sure they are aware that you are the one buying them. If you do all these, the kids will love you more. This is 2022, don't allow your wife rob you of your years of labor when it's time to reap.

You can add your own way of playing the family politics.

Please if this is front page worthy, kindly move to fp, so men can learn 1 or 2 this new year.

May our wives not take all our glory all in the name of I'm too busy in Jesus name. Amen

nice one

CondemnBattery:
So I saw a thread earlier, and decided to educate husbands in the house how to play the home politics, just as adviced by my pastor's wife.

My pastor's wife thought me a valuable lesson. She legitly told us to be smart as husbands, when the kids did something wrong in your absence and your wife did not discipline the child, but waits for you to come back and discipline them, don't. Make sure she disciplines them herself, otherwise your kids will think you are the wicked one and the evil one.

Don't always give your wife all the money to buy things for the kids, take the children out to the market, buy them clothes, take them to the grocery store, buy the provision in their present. Let them know you are the one buying them. If you buy them shoes or anything, make sure they are aware that you are the one buying them. If you do all these, the kids will love you more. This is 2022, don't allow your wife rob you of your years of labor when it's time to reap.

You can add your own way of playing the family politics.

Please if this is front page worthy, kindly move to fp, so men can learn 1 or 2 this new year.

May our wives not take all our glory all in the name of I'm too busy in Jesus name. Amen

Op I disagree with you �...there is nothing wrong for the wife to report the kids to the father and the father desplining them...that's his role as the figure head and respect accorded to him from the kids is different from the mother...
For me the basic thing is the connect with your kids on a deep level.....know in and out wats up with them....I know of a guys that goes to club with there pops just for fun....please don't divide homes with this kind of write ups

In addition, I ensure I take to school every school day, help them in doing their assignments and sometimes when mom is not around quietly take them out to Chicken republic or Domino's Pizza for small chops and ice cream.
I cannot come second in this family politics at all.

Limassol:
The author of this post is mistaken in thinking children can easily be manipulated and misled, hardly, not when they are adults and grown ups... with time one could easily realise who is who. A nasty mother can't mask her nastiness, same for the father.

Exactly

cococandy:


That makes sense seeing as both baking soda and potash are alkaline in nature

Good luck

So yummy and creamy. 15mins max. Love eating it with nothing added. DH said he don't know what it is. I have entered one chance. It's even better I married non igbo.

Why do Africans see their kids as investment that will be reaped someday?!

descarado:

Mummy don't work

Maybe, all the women out there in various fields went out to play.
Mtcheew and very stale.

Even when mummy works, the critical spendings is done by the man.

Which woman will willingly fund house rent or school fees when the husband is working?

The little she spends in the house sef na with complain.

well the reverse is the case in my own.....wify used to tell me that i want the kids to think shes the wicked one but i used to discipline my kids whenever they did something bad....i jus dont see the reason why u have to beat them at everything they do...i believe we need to give dem some space or let them have free time sometimes

Fridaya30:
Bath them too , pack the pups, replace the pampers, breastfeed the baby, pamper ham if na cry the baby Dey cry, be there always to attend to the baby’s needs �.
Abeg find another thing talk about. U think say e easy to be a mother. I be man o. Before u come replying yin yin yan yan yan

Absolute Bumkum.

Make papa no get work, make you see whether the pikin no go suffer, especially in most Nigerian homes where the woman is often not as buoyant.

You think it is by to bath and remove Pampers.?
Anybody can do that. Get a house girl and pay her.

OlawaleBammie:
una no dey ever comprehend, and una don old ooh

Who is saying everything is about money money money here??
Did the op said everything is about money??
Even those who contributed are not attributing everything to money

Make u and that one ( sterope ) rest small jare

Na you nor Sabi comprehend,get lost

jornwhite:




Talk is cheap, it takes idleness to spend quality time with kids, in most cases the man is saddle with the responsibility of providing @least 60% of finances if not 100% .... except for the freelancers money is made outside, a man as to be out, whu wants to be a dead beat father, it not as if men have choice to be full house husband
The truth is most women don't speak good of there husband to the kids, they alway wana give impression if not for me(ur mom) your father won't have paid your school fee or buy cloth for xmas, most mothers even ring it into there kids ears , your father is stingy if not for me we won't have fed this week.
The way mothers sire the kids is a reflection of what we see in our society today, women want all attention

The so called 60% of the finances you to provide is no excuse to not make out time for your children some women also finance up to 60% and if not more but never fail to make out time for their children.

Something is already wrong with your approach when you think it is only idleness that will make you see it worthwhile to spend quality time with your children.Better rethink how you reason on this money is made outside blah blah blah what a weak excuse because in your mind in 2022 na only men dey work dey provide because you don't have wives who assist you in the financial department thereby reducing any so called busyness your job may take from you in having time to spend with your kids.

My talk is not cheap because that is the reality of some people and it is working out fine for them.You are just a selfish person who will find it hard to relate with your children and already coming out with an excuse by blaming your wife for it not all women are like that so talk another thing abeg

CSTRR:

Even when mummy works, the critical spendings is done by the man.

Which woman will willingly fund house rent or school fees when the husband is working?

The little she spends in the house sef na with complain.

Will you stop please. Its becoming irritating.
Not going to and fro with you.
If your mum was a nobody, mine wasn't. My granny wasn't and all the females I know. Majority are house owners. Women hardly make noise about stuffs like that and some to cover their husbands shame will tell who cares to listen the husband built their house or bought their car.

Very low self esteem. See how he is running round trying to belittle industrious women all over Nigeria.
Heaven and earth forbid

God bless you. One of my friends is in a very sad mood as I speak. He sometimes weep whenever he remembers his wife and his kids. He single handedly trained all his four children from the university. His wife was a full time house wife then. But now, they don't want to see their father. Men, please be wise o. If you kill yourself because of your children, they will live their life without you.

CondemnBattery:
So I saw a thread earlier, and decided to educate husbands in the house how to play the home politics, just as adviced by my pastor's wife.

My pastor's wife thought me a valuable lesson. She legitly told us to be smart as husbands, when the kids did something wrong in your absence and your wife did not discipline the child, but waits for you to come back and discipline them, don't. Make sure she disciplines them herself, otherwise your kids will think you are the wicked one and the evil one.

Don't always give your wife all the money to buy things for the kids, take the children out to the market, buy them clothes, take them to the grocery store, buy the provision in their present. Let them know you are the one buying them. If you buy them shoes or anything, make sure they are aware that you are the one buying them. If you do all these, the kids will love you more. This is 2022, don't allow your wife rob you of your years of labor when it's time to reap.

You can add your own way of playing the family politics.

Please if this is front page worthy, kindly move to fp, so men can learn 1 or 2 this new year.

May our wives not take all our glory all in the name of I'm too busy in Jesus name. Amen

CondemnBattery:
That's why the men suffer what they suffer. I take my kids out for shopping every now and then, I take them out to buy groceries. I buy them gifts every now and then. I don't come home without buying them gifts. There's nothing wrong with taking your kids out to the market.

So you are a male. You too dey among the group of those boys on nairaland that register as females to deceiving people. And you're a married man, for that matter.

Shoot.

Ladyhippolyta88:


The so called 60% of the finances you to provide is no excuse to not make out time for your children some women also finance up to 60% and if not more but never fail to make out time for their children.

Something is already wrong with your approach when you think it is only idleness that will make you see it worthwhile to spend quality time with your children.Better rethink how you reason on this money is made outside blah blah blah what a weak excuse because in your mind in 2022 na only men dey work dey provide because you don't have wives who assist you in the financial department thereby reducing any so called busyness your job may take from you in having time to spend with your kids.

My talk is not cheap because that is the reality of some people and it is working out fine for them.You are just a selfish person who will find it hard to relate with your children and already coming out with an excuse by blaming your wife for it not all women are like that so talk another thing abeg

Call it excuses or whatever you like, but the truth remains some jobs don't really leave much time for men to spend with there kids ... even some career women are caught up in this tew, e.g you live in lagos you wake as early as 5am set out by 6am to beat traffic and cos of that same traffic you return home very late tired & useless, how you wan get quality time, that is the reality of some working dad n mom.
My parent did not have much time for us then, buh we understood that was how they could afford us things our peers dream of ... maybe children would have understood better if mothers don't bad mouth fathers in front of their kid's, i think mothers are majorly the culprit here, cococandy don't do it

descarado:

Will you stop please. Its becoming irritating.
Not going to and fro with you.
If your mum was a nobody, mine wasn't. My granny wasn't and all the females I know. Majority are house owners. Women hardly make noise about stuffs like that and some to cover their husbands shame will tell who cares to listen the husband built their house or bought their car.

Very low self esteem. See how he is running round trying to belittle industrious women all over Nigeria.
Heaven and earth forbid

If your mum was the president of Nigeria or the CEO of a fortune 500 company, the vast majority of mums in Nigeria are not.

And don't quote me again, you have just annoyed me.

Make I no change am for you.

Well, I still hate my father like shit. He rubbed me off my childhood fun.

....have learnt of the punishment today but my experience when l stayed in Arab country....it has been their culture to put their wives and children in the car to do shopping...children are allowed to move around to pick but the wives point at whatever they need,the husband picks and pays for everything...it's actually a politics...thanks!!!









quote author=CondemnBattery post=109238399]So I saw a thread earlier, and decided to educate husbands in the house how to play the home politics, just as adviced by my pastor's wife.

My pastor's wife thought me a valuable lesson. She legitly told us to be smart as husbands, when the kids did something wrong in your absence and your wife did not discipline the child, but waits for you to come back and discipline them, don't. Make sure she disciplines them herself, otherwise your kids will think you are the wicked one and the evil one.

Don't always give your wife all the money to buy things for the kids, take the children out to the market, buy them clothes, take them to the grocery store, buy the provision in their present. Let them know you are the one buying them. If you buy them shoes or anything, make sure they are aware that you are the one buying them. If you do all these, the kids will love you more. This is 2022, don't allow your wife rob you of your years of labor when it's time to reap.

You can add your own way of playing the family politics.

Please if this is front page worthy, kindly move to fp, so men can learn 1 or 2 this new year.

May our wives not take all our glory all in the name of I'm too busy in Jesus name. Amen[/quote]