If only you took your studies serious, you would've known that no one answers condemn battery. And that moniker is a company, and in representation, just as a country is referred to as "HER" so also Companies are referred to "HER" hence the f as female. Why should I deceive you with my gender? I'm on nairaland for business, if you're here to catch cruise, that's your cup of tea

siant:
So you are a male. You too dey among the group of those boys on nairaland that register as females to deceiving people. And you're a married man, for that matter.

Shoot.

If you want to know my name or person, say it, my numbers are displayed below.
Also visit qssolutions.com.ng or Quick Standard Solutions on Facebook. Tweeter: @quickstandard. Instagram: quick_standard.
I've gat no time for baseless talks

Kingpele:
Hahaha ,well am a man with kids ,if u don't want to have problems with your family members try to show real love to your wife and be faithful to her,especially during the early years of your marriage before she start to make her own money or before the kids grow up into Adults,she will be the person promoting you before your kids behind your back, because a woman can never talk ill of the real love of her life ,I travel to village for meetings and community elections for two weeks when I came back i saw that my kids really missed me cos my wife missed me ,out of the blues my second boy said to me u are the best dad in the world, I knew my wife taught him to say that while I was away ,so love your wife and take care of her needs according to your capacity u will have a peaceful life and your kids will love you and take care of you in your old age..

This's the truth

CondemnBattery:
So I saw a thread earlier, and decided to educate husbands in the house how to play the home politics, just as adviced by my pastor's wife.

My pastor's wife thought me a valuable lesson. She legitly told us to be smart as husbands, when the kids did something wrong in your absence and your wife did not discipline the child, but waits for you to come back and discipline them, don't. Make sure she disciplines them herself, otherwise your kids will think you are the wicked one and the evil one.

Don't always give your wife all the money to buy things for the kids, take the children out to the market, buy them clothes, take them to the grocery store, buy the provision in their present. Let them know you are the one buying them. If you buy them shoes or anything, make sure they are aware that you are the one buying them. If you do all these, the kids will love you more. This is 2022, don't allow your wife rob you of your years of labor when it's time to reap.

You can add your own way of playing the family politics.

Please if this is front page worthy, kindly move to fp, so men can learn 1 or 2 this new year.

May our wives not take all our glory all in the name of I'm too busy in Jesus name. Amen

How can a female be talking or should I say writing like a man? Wonderful!!!!

Which ever one you're a marriageable and a parent material

jornwhite:




Call it excuses or whatever you like, but the truth remains some jobs don't really leave much time for men to spend with there kids

Which jobs?even military men and those in the marines have time for their kids even at night or during the evening's you can always have time it is nothing but a lame excuse from you ...

even some career women are caught up in this tew, e.g you live in lagos you wake as early as 5am set out by 6am to beat traffic and cos of that same traffic you return home very late tired & useless, how you wan get quality time, that is the reality of some working dad n mom

Because na only Lagos I dey talk about your argument is very weak it still doesn't stop you from spending time with your kids what happened to weekends,night time with the kids and all talk another thing jaare.

My parent did not have much time for us then, buh we understood that was how they could afford us things our peers dream of ... maybe children would have understood better if mothers don't bad mouth fathers in front of their kid's, i think mothers are majorly the culprit here, cococandy don't do it

Good for you,some of us our parents had time for us and understood that we were the major reason for their working to provide for the family and no matter how busy they were they never failed to have quality time dedicated to us because a child's best friend while growing up should be his/her parents and your argument is just weak stop blaming mothers some fathers are terrible and the children are not dumb to see that for themselves,if you believe mothers are terrible then give your self sense now and plan on how to make time for your kids before you will start blaming your wife as the reason for their distance towards you.

Draslo:
You want to drag your kids' love with your wife or what?
What if you're a military man and you're never around?
What if you're an expat in another country and you no dey ever dey?
What if you're a sailor and your presence at home is nothing to write home about?
What if......?


I could go on and on. Just stop there and do what your duties are as a father and husband to your nuclear and the love will never die. Don't ever expect all your kids to love you equally but remember that no matter what they all love you unconditionally.


What do I know anyways? I'm just a single guy without any offspring yet so maybe I don't know what I'm saying.

You know what You are saying, My Man. Don't allow anyone to make you Doubt Yourself.

Any Man dragging the kids with their mother is stu.pid because the kids are emotionally wired to love their mother who feed them for 9months inside her womb and birthed them from her va.gina. A Sane Man must continuously unite the Kids and the Mother.

Draw a Red line as a Man that if any of them cross your wife, their Mother, they will be crossed by You but if they fulfill their Mother, they fulfilled You. Now, proof it by carrying the rule out on any altercations and there shall be altercations. Now, they know the only time they have big problem with Dad is if they cross their Mom even if You and their Mom have issues , they will prefer to offend you than Offending their Mother and come what May, You will be better off.

Your Job as a Man is to establish Decorum and security in Your Family.

It's stupid dragging kids with their Mom. God forbid me from doing that. Na woman get Pikin ooo, if she burst tears in their front and Report You, if you give them one million na one by one dem go dey drop your money for your hands

Rather, no matter what, play reverse Psycology by always eulogising their mother in front of them even when both of You are fighting, tell them to Go help you to Apologise to their Mom for you offended her... the next Question is "Dad what did you do" tell them what you did.... then They will Ameliorate between you because they hate seeing you fighting and you are already instilling in them "Conflict Resolution Strategy"

Show their mother love, buy things for her, take her out, Help in chores and when it's rough, Stand for their mom and always stand for your family More than a Lion Does for The Pridw. The kids will definitely Love You and Love Her.....

Never Put Yourself between the love of a mother and her children, even if they are Insulting her when she does wrong, chide them and tell them good about their Ma. Don't ever join them in Insulting their Mom or aiding them in chiding their mom .... they will tell her everything you said when they all make up and she will tell them worst about you, no be woman. You can't beat a woman in ratatata

If you do show-off as a Father thus you ain't genuine, the one with better IQ and psychoanalytic skills will figure your shenanigans out and coup shall be planned for you and one day, they will call you out and end your Game.

Nonetheless, why do I need my kids to love me more than their Mom or love their mom More than me. That's a wacko family in the making, completely Bullcrap. Why playing Games. Just be Responsible to your duties as a father and be very intelligent/wisdom to see your entire home and activities going on therein.

Each parents are meant to complement one another using the Biological Skills Natured embedded upon them and other acquired Skills.

Kingpele:
Hahaha ,well am a man with kids ,if u don't want to have problems with your family members try to show real love to your wife and be faithful to her,especially during the early years of your marriage before she start to make her own money or before the kids grow up into Adults,she will be the person promoting you before your kids behind your back, because a woman can never talk ill of the real love of her life ,I travel to village for meetings and community elections for two weeks when I came back i saw that my kids really missed me cos my wife missed me ,out of the blues my second boy said to me u are the best dad in the world, I knew my wife taught him to say that while I was away ,so love your wife and take care of her needs according to your capacity u will have a peaceful life and your kids will love you and take care of you in your old age..

God will continue to bless you.

Children listen to their Mother's stories about their fathernd and fathers family. You will see the aunty that insult their Ma but buy them gifts ... they will all run inside once she pops up.

Give your children 1billion naira and slap their Mother ... They will use that Money to slap You. No be u be the person umbilical cord follow join for body na their mama.

Anybody that takes care of a woman, her children will automatically transfer her emotional feelings towards you and the Brain never Forgets.

Who dey drag asorock with Buhari

Good thing men are wiser in dealing with their children these days. It should not only be to drop money and discipline. Let them love you too.

If you are going to play ball or for your routine exercise, take the kids along and let them do their own alongside.

Take them to the supermarket sometimes and buy icecream and stuff.

Take them for outings and parties with you.

Do weekend homework with them.

It's just that some men cannot and don't want to be bothered with taking care of the children. They prefer to leave it to their mum to worry about it.

babyfaceafrica:
This is difficult for men who work offshore and military personal who are posted far.. Fair points anyways

It still depends on the man. I attended a military secondary, though I was a "bloody civilian" lol. My close friend's dad was an army officer. This guy was so close to his kids. He hardly ever missed a visiting day with their mum.

I remember one visiting day he came, he bought my friend a red bra. We were just going through puberty then. It was so funny. He knew when they were on their period (they were four girls). He was a colonel at that time.

There are always ways to fill in the gaps if the man is determined to be close to his children.

lordally:


Fear Griped me while reading towards the end. So how do you handle the present situation

I think I'm lucky, just plain lucky that my first son understands with me in a situation where my wife keep making them see things differently.But one can't tell it all as I'm still the one paying most of the bills.The chips could really be down when one is less able to provide.That's when women really bears their fangs

Draslo:
You want to drag your kids' love with your wife or what?
What if you're a military man and you're never around?
What if you're an expat in another country and you no dey ever dey?
What if you're a sailor and your presence at home is nothing to write home about?
What if......?


I could go on and on. Just stop there and do what your duties are as a father and husband to your nuclear and the love will never die. Don't ever expect all your kids to love you equally but remember that no matter what they all love you unconditionally.


What do I know anyways? I'm just a single guy without any offspring yet so maybe I don't know what I'm saying.

It's not everything you chuck mouth

Limassol:
The author of this post is mistaken in thinking children can easily be manipulated and misled, hardly, not when they are adults and grown ups... with time one could easily realise who is who. A nasty mother can't mask her nastiness, same for the father.

Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is grown, he won't depart from it.

Have you heard it before?

CondemnBattery:
If only you took your studies serious, you would've known that no one answers condemn battery. And that moniker is a company, and in representation, just as a country is referred to as "HER" so also Companies are referred to "HER" hence the f as female. Why should I deceive you with my gender? I'm on nairaland for business, if you're here to catch cruise, that's your cup of tea

If you want to know my name or person, say it, my numbers are displayed below.
Also visit qssolutions.com.ng or Quick Standard Solutions on Facebook. Tweeter: @quickstandard. Instagram: quick_standard.
I've gat no time for baseless talks

Do I have time to be visiting your social media pages?

I didn't know it is nairaland rule that Condemnbattery can only be used as a moniker for a company alone.

I didn't know that since HER is sometimes used to describe a body or something dear to you like a country, it symbolises female gender.

captainamiedi1:
Provide for them. dont be a dead beat father. Always be there for them. even if their mother tell lies about you to them, one day, they will know the truth. i have a dead beat father and i don't about him. he manage the little from my mom. he has never paid my school nor buy food. he would reap where he didn't sow. we have open a shop for my mom. last December i gave her 90k. i gave my dad no money. it was my mom that gave him 10k from her 90k.

The children are not stupid they see all the effort of the parents. you don't drink away ur life and expect so much from me

How did you know the money your mum gave you guy wasn't from him?

jaxxy:
Very funny. A man should take his children out to buy clothes. Why? What’s wrong with the wife doing it??

There are other ways to show ur affection and care to ur children. It goes beyond buying this or that. It’s about spending time and having right discussions, connecting and bonding.

They already know u pay the school fees and rents and all that and that doesn’t guarantee a good relationship with ur kids.

Never assume things in this life. People are talking from experience.

Feelings79:
I think I'm lucky, just plain lucky that my first son understands with me in a situation where my wife keep making them see things differently.But one can't tell it all as I'm still the one paying most of the bills.The chips could really be down when one is less able to provide.That's when women really bears their fangs

These whole situation makes me scared if marriage sometimes. Because I feel the same woman who's all lovely today in the coming years , might turn out to be something else!!! O My God!!!

Thanksful:


Never assume things in this life. People are talking from experience.

Who and who is talking from experience and who is assuming??

Start training them how to click PI everyday on their phone

od501:


It's simple. Play your normal role as a father, but most especially, make sure your wife is not trying so hard to make them like u any less. Most women are often like that: always trying to weaponize the kids.

Understand the psychology of a woman and human. Every human is bias but when you seek deep understanding of your patner you can always preempt their next moves and put up a counter measures without them knowing. That's a MAN. A strategist.

Your wife can only weaponise your kids against you if you are hurting her directly or indirectly and You ain't able to Establish your Manliness over Her.

A woman, any woman/Human will naturally subscribe to your Manhood if you handle her right psychologically/Physically(Not Wickedness).

CondemnBattery:
So I saw a thread earlier, and decided to educate husbands in the house how to play the home politics, just as adviced by my pastor's wife.

My pastor's wife thought me a valuable lesson. She legitly told us to be smart as husbands, when the kids did something wrong in your absence and your wife did not discipline the child, but waits for you to come back and discipline them, don't. Make sure she disciplines them herself, otherwise your kids will think you are the wicked one and the evil one.

Don't always give your wife all the money to buy things for the kids, take the children out to the market, buy them clothes, take them to the grocery store, buy the provision in their present. Let them know you are the one buying them. If you buy them shoes or anything, make sure they are aware that you are the one buying them. If you do all these, the kids will love you more. This is 2022, don't allow your wife rob you of your years of labor when it's time to reap.

You can add your own way of playing the family politics.

Please if this is front page worthy, kindly move to fp, so men can learn 1 or 2 this new year.

May our wives not take all our glory all in the name of I'm too busy in Jesus name. Amen

You know what children value the most? Time. No material possession can replace the time parents spend with their children

It's also important to remember that men and women are different. Mothers and fathers are different and they have different kinds of bonds with their children and they play different roles in their children's lives

These kind of women you're talking about, they have deeper issues

A healthy mother will instill love and respect in their children towards their father

Not all mothers are toxic and manipulative

Still, a father can never be a mother to a child and vice versa

Fathers should learn to be more friendly with their kids, take time off your busy schedule and "hangout" with them. Money is not everything in life.

Let's stop being the tyrant whose voice alone scared hell out of the kids. Shet hits the fan when you get old and lonely then realise you have made yourself unapproachable.

You guys should stop making it a versus thing against the women/mothers, the family unit is designed to get best results when the father, mother & children work in synergy. This promotes a certain kind of bond within the family circle.

Ladyhippolyta88:
Which jobs?even military men and those in the marines have time for their kids even at night or during the evening's you can always have time it is nothing but a lame excuse from you ... Because na only Lagos I dey talk about your argument is very weak it still doesn't stop you from spending time with your kids what happened to weekends,night time with the kids and all talk another thing jaare.
Good for you,some of us our parents had time for us and understood that we were the major reason for their working to provide for the family and no matter how busy they were they never failed to have quality time dedicated to us because a child's best friend while growing up should be his/her parents and your argument is just weak stop blaming mothers some fathers are terrible and the children are not dumb to see that for themselves, if you believe mothers are terrible then give your self sense now and plan on how to make time for your kids before you will start blaming your wife as the reason for their distance towards you.

Yorubas will say, ènu dun ro éfor i.e with mouth everyone can make a sweet vegetable soup . you are a woman and i don't expect you to ever understand, only the married ones can relate.
Also know you are saying the right thing which should be the norm, buh there is something called "uncontrollable factor" .regardless men still creat time buh the fact remains fathers don't stand a chance with mothers when it comes to "TIME". its one game we can't win

Thanksful:


Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is grown, he won't depart from it.

Have you heard it before?

Yeah ... However, you should note that however poisoned children minds are when they were young and naive, they mostly change when they become adults - for such stage in life comes with independence of the mind and expansion of thoughts and reason. Besides, it's clear some people change and recreate themselves when they become grown ups - training a child a particular dosen't mean s/he will remain that way, far from it, for proof look no further than some of your contemporaries, you will likely find good examples. In other words, You may manipulate a young mind, hardly a mature one.

lordally:


These whole situation makes me scared if marriage sometimes. Because I feel the same woman who's all lovely today in the coming years , might turn out to be something else!!! O My God!!!

But what can one do? it's a natural obligation after all

ImaIma1:


It still depends on the man. I attended a military secondary, though I was a "bloody civilian" lol. My close friend's dad was an army officer. This guy was so close to his kids. He hardly ever missed a visiting day with their mum.

I remember one visiting day he came, he bought my friend a red bra. We were just going through puberty then. It was so funny. He knew when they were on their period (they were four girls). He was a colonel at that time.

There are always ways to fill in the gaps if the man is determined to be close to his children.

Lolz... It depends, I have an uncle in borno, he is only granted leave four weeks a year, how will that one cope?

Feelings79:
But what can one do? it's a natural obligation after all

I don't get this? There are people who aren't married and doing 'fine'. Anyways what will be will be

DonroxyII:
Understand the psychology of a woman and human. Every human is bias but when you seek deep understanding of your patner you can always preempt their next moves and put up a counter measures without them knowing. That's a MAN. A strategist.

Your wife can only weaponise your kids against you if you are hurting her directly or indirectly and You ain't able to Establish your Manliness over Her.

A woman, any woman/Human will naturally subscribe to your Manhood if you handle her right psychologically/Physically(Not Wickedness).

You don't understand. Some women who instigate their children against their dad are doing it without even knowing.

The long and short of this discussion is that as a man. Love care and provide for your kids to the best of your ability. Cherish and love your wife too. But doing all these is no guarantee that you would be loved back in return or appreciated, so save and make provision for your self as a man for your later years ohh, don't bank on your kids growing up to take care of you or your wife sticking with you till the end ooo

babyfaceafrica:
Lolz... It depends, I have an uncle in borno, he is only granted leave four weeks a year, how will that one cope?

They are usually moved around. He could be posted out of Borno and be where he can be closer to his family. In the meantime, he should take advantage of phone calls and video calls.

He can try to tell them stories to sleep some nights.

Make video calls when they are doing their homework to contribute.

Tell them he is sending money for icecream and tell their mum to take them to buy it, and confirm that she does it.

When he's around, he should not only concentrate on being the disciplinarian. He should make the time with them count.

Children never forget the times they spend with their parents.

Feelings79:
I think I'm lucky, just plain lucky that my first son understands with me in a situation where my wife keep making them see things differently.But one can't tell it all as I'm still the one paying most of the bills.The chips could really be down when one is less able to provide.That's when women really bears their fangs

This is really scary for some of us that are still very young in marriage. I know my wife love me to a fault. But after reading your experience, I'm beginning to have a rethink, cos presently I pay every damn bill.. Got married 2014, and my wife has never paid a dime for a thing, even as little as water or salt. but I am not complaining because that was how my father raised us. My mum is supposed to be the Queen while my dad does all the providing. So as I became a man I don't see it as a burden because God has really being faithful. I'm even happy doing it, though at times it can be overwhelming in this economy, when you have kids that are in school. But we thank God
I'm currently setting her up with a career. But this really got me scared. I hope she doesn't change in the future. But my take home from your experience is to have a backup plan as retirement, cos I'm a business person. So there's no gratuity.

Thank, you sir, for sharing.

May God help us my brother
Wokeness has destroyed many homes. Women these days thinks marriage is Nollywood. Too bad

lordally:


These whole situation makes me scared if marriage sometimes. Because I feel the same woman who's all lovely today in the coming years , might turn out to be something else!!! O My God!!!

What's pl please? Kindly elaborate. Thanks

calcal:
Start training them how to click PI everyday on their phone