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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Help My Husband Seems To Be Addicted To Prostitutes! (50536 Views)
|Help My Husband Seems To Be Addicted To Prostitutes! by ChiomaCa: 10:17am On Jan 16|
Hello everyone, I'm in need of an advice, I got married to a man 5yrs+ ago. He relocated some months after marriage to Canada, I went to meet him 2 years after. And we had a baby 10months after my arrival. Immediately I arrived his place, I noticed he flirt alot onlline, Sex chats, Video sex chats, Visit porn sites, visit Prostitue Sites, and the rest. I caught him red-handed twice and he begged and pleaded not to do such again. I forgive him and I believe maybe because of the distance we had in two years.
We move on and I promise myself not to even go near his Laptop or mobile phone anymore.
I adhered to that for more than a year, which I'm still doing that till December 23 of 2021.
My daughter threw his I-watch inside water. Then I picked it up to drain for some minutes, after I drianed, I realised a message popped up , which Read " Do you enjoy me yesterday Do I book you for tomorrow again"
I was forced to check what's this. I saw hell. In short, he visited two different Prostitues in a hotel to book 30 minutes session with them for $160 and $220, I also saw other messages asking for Anal sex from these Escorts. I realised, he visited them 3rd, 1st 22nd of December. During these period, I was the one begging him for sex. He said he's not interested that he's Fixed with many activities and Shifts at work.
I was in the house hopping my husband as gone to work, not knowing he's doing something else within his short break and free time.
Immediately I saw this, I was devastated,I was mad at my self. We are very religious. Why all these for God sake, this is the 3rd time, what have I done to myself, have made a wrong choice?
I called his brother back in Nigeria and I inform and sent all what I saw to him, he called and talked to him, the next day, my husband came to me, apologize and promised not to do that again. I accept and forgive him.
Few days ago, I have been having this kind of feeling, I feel like I'm not beutiful because why will my husband prefer a Prostitue than me.
I hate myself, I think about it every minutes, whenever I see him, my mind keep breathing fast. I'm sad and I'm not happy, I don't know what to do.
I can't discuss with my parents, because they see my husband as the most religious person.
He doesn't talk much, keep friends nor drink.
I need advice dear mummy and daddy please is this a red light?
150 Likes 19 Shares
|Re: Help My Husband Seems To Be Addicted To Prostitutes! by ShenTeh(m): 10:18am On Jan 16|
Auntie, you are still asking if this is a red light. No, it is black light.
Now seriously, like most victims, there's a tendency to blame yourself instead of the 'criminal'. Please don't blame yourself. The one who needs help here is your husband.
Stop making him see you as an easy forgiver. He knows you are very weak and are entirely financially dependent on him. Trust me when push gets to shove, his people would believe whatever he says against what you do. Save yourself.
He is an irresponsible man who has no business in marriage. If indeed you are in Canada, file for divorce with the evidence you have.
Edit. For those quoting me with bitterness and angst, I have nothing against you. I do hope you hold the same views if it were the husband that came to the www to complain that his religious wife has been seeing gigolos in a country he and his father sponsored her to.
234 Likes 29 Shares
|Re: Help My Husband Seems To Be Addicted To Prostitutes! by shawante(m): 10:25am On Jan 16|
They say one thing must kill a man.. Most times it's either alcohol, women or smoking... Well I guess in your husband's case it's women and trust me it's extremely difficult to quit
It's either you live with it or you leave him
88 Likes 11 Shares
|Re: Help My Husband Seems To Be Addicted To Prostitutes! by PEPPERified: 10:26am On Jan 16|
Live is not fair.
Things dey happen everywhere.
God will help you, and God will help your husband too.
33 Likes 2 Shares
|Re: Help My Husband Seems To Be Addicted To Prostitutes! by VEXT: 10:40am On Jan 16|
Go online and ask what attract men to prostitutes,then act like one to your man..Be his prostitute..
You also have what those prostitutes have...
452 Likes 23 Shares
|Re: Help My Husband Seems To Be Addicted To Prostitutes! by dacblogger: 10:40am On Jan 16|
Women dey try sha... The Lord is your strength my dear.
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|Re: Help My Husband Seems To Be Addicted To Prostitutes! by Amanee(f): 11:06am On Jan 16|
If you divorce him like he deserves now, people will say you used him to go abroad and grew wings upon getting there. God help you ma'am
315 Likes 22 Shares
|Re: Help My Husband Seems To Be Addicted To Prostitutes! by Richy4(m): 11:07am On Jan 16|
Your husband is a walking STD on two legs... Just be careful ...
Don't kill yourself over Why he prefers a prostitute over u... Most times, there are no answers to the Why(s)... Just do what you can to be happy...
108 Likes 12 Shares
|Re: Help My Husband Seems To Be Addicted To Prostitutes! by silibaba: 11:08am On Jan 16|
Just pray you don't get infected.
49 Likes 5 Shares
|Re: Help My Husband Seems To Be Addicted To Prostitutes! by KillIgbohoN0W: 11:11am On Jan 16|
When you were prostituting with him you didn't alert us. Now that he has dumped you for fresher prostitutes, you are complaining.
A man like that definitely married you because of all the porn styles you gave him which you no longer give in marriage.
This is why one must be true to him/herself. If you hoe around while single and attract a man that's about that life then better continue being his hoe in marriage. Any attempt to reset and become "normal" will result in this type of issue.
Be yourself at all times so that even in marriage there'll be no difference with who you attracted.
50 Likes 2 Shares
|Re: Help My Husband Seems To Be Addicted To Prostitutes! by odinson1(m): 11:17am On Jan 16|
The truth is,you are no longer attractive to Him. You are probably Fat and Getting old,or you don't dress seductively Anymore.
I don't condone cheating except one is being denied sex by his partner,then he has all Justification to cheat. Now my question is,do you Deny him sex?
Are you trying to deny the Fact that Women generally "grow wings" when taken to Abroad?
This woman's issue is clearly not a case like that,so don't use it as an excuse to Justify those Ungrateful women
56 Likes 5 Shares
|Re: Help My Husband Seems To Be Addicted To Prostitutes! by ChiomaCa: 11:18am On Jan 16|
I'm not a Prostitue. I said above that we are both religious. Even he's more than I do.
49 Likes 2 Shares
|Re: Help My Husband Seems To Be Addicted To Prostitutes! by Vyolet(f): 11:18am On Jan 16|
You forgive him easily and cover up his dirty acts all in the name of religion, reason he sees you as a walk over. He may be religious but he doesn’t have the fear of God, reason i don’t care about anyone claiming spiricoco, i only care about what your heart looks like.
Personally, i may never have sex with such person again as my health is more important to me, i will lock him out or move out for my own sanity, then i will file for divorce after i have gathered all evidence, it is better everyone part way.
If you are not financially independent, allow your people know back home, let them rally round and bring you home, everything will seem rough in the beginning but you will be fine in the end with your child.
Do not think you can change the man or his ways, until he gets into trouble, thats how he will continue living his own life.
Take responsibility for your own life.
85 Likes 13 Shares
|Re: Help My Husband Seems To Be Addicted To Prostitutes! by ChiomaCa: 11:18am On Jan 16|
Amanee:Hmmm... You are right
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|Re: Help My Husband Seems To Be Addicted To Prostitutes! by KillIgbohoN0W: 11:18am On Jan 16|
So how did you both attract each other?
|Re: Help My Husband Seems To Be Addicted To Prostitutes! by StPete: 11:19am On Jan 16|
It's just sex and it's his own addiction. Either help him to fight it or just let him be. As long as he does his bit in his family. You see, to men like that, it's just sex. No feelings attached.
I know many people would reverse the case if it was the woman but women don't just have random sex, it comes with emotions. Even prostitutes catch feelings with their clients. So just let him be. Insist he use a condom with them and just free your mind about how he bleeps around. In his own time, he will stop
62 Likes 9 Shares
|Re: Help My Husband Seems To Be Addicted To Prostitutes! by Richy4(m): 11:21am On Jan 16|
StPete:U made it sound like it was not a big deal haba!!
This must be 2022 jokes right?
106 Likes 7 Shares
|Re: Help My Husband Seems To Be Addicted To Prostitutes! by JONNYSPUTE(m): 11:22am On Jan 16|
....If you are truly hurt then live him and come back to Nigeria.
Why is it that most Nigerian ladies find it difficult to divorce a wealthy proscumious husband?
26 Likes 7 Shares
|Re: Help My Husband Seems To Be Addicted To Prostitutes! by ChiomaCa: 11:42am On Jan 16|
JONNYSPUTE:I'm not with him because of wealth. I have a company here in Nigeria and it's still functioning! My brother manage this on my behalf... Also whenver he wanna talk about his traveling out success story, he will definitely mention my mum and I
98 Likes 6 Shares
|Re: Help My Husband Seems To Be Addicted To Prostitutes! by Vyolet(f): 11:42am On Jan 16|
StPete:You must have same supplier as Portable.
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|Re: Help My Husband Seems To Be Addicted To Prostitutes! by StPete: 11:44am On Jan 16|
I'm 100% certain you're my supplier hiding behind that moniker
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|Re: Help My Husband Seems To Be Addicted To Prostitutes! by JONNYSPUTE(m): 11:46am On Jan 16|
ChiomaCa:.... Like I said . Divorce is the next step if you are being honest with the story.
This era of most women seeing no wrong in denying their husbands sex on every flimsy excuse can lead some men into the laps of prostitutes.
13 Likes 5 Shares
|Re: Help My Husband Seems To Be Addicted To Prostitutes! by ChiomaCa: 11:54am On Jan 16|
JONNYSPUTE:I'm honest with my story. And I have never for once deny him of sexual intimacy. Infact, most time I make move, almost all the time. I swear to God Almighty. I'm feeling as if I'm ugly and not good looking enough
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|Re: Help My Husband Seems To Be Addicted To Prostitutes! by JONNYSPUTE(m): 11:57am On Jan 16|
ChiomaCa:....If you have explored all the avenues for dialogue and he is still behaving such then ask him for divorce. Or do you want to contract std and die?
Or is there any other reason you don't want divorce? What of temporary separation for now until he comes to his senses.?
12 Likes 3 Shares
|Re: Help My Husband Seems To Be Addicted To Prostitutes! by eyinjuege: 12:11pm On Jan 16|
He obviously has a sex addiction. It has nothing to do with his wife being fat or big. Before she came into his life, you can bet he's always been like this
55 Likes 3 Shares
|Re: Help My Husband Seems To Be Addicted To Prostitutes! by greenie77: 12:15pm On Jan 16|
If she leaves him, she still has a right to stay back in Canada and rebuild her life independently as a single mother and the man will mandatorily pay for their daughter's support....the man has more to lose as his reputation before all those who know him as a religious person would go south, he has to financially support a daughter he no longer lives under the same roof with but given just visitation rights and that would not make him a happy man
He is addicted to prostitutes and need the professional help of a sex addiction therapist.
60 Likes 6 Shares
|Re: Help My Husband Seems To Be Addicted To Prostitutes! by pocohantas(f): 12:16pm On Jan 16|
Sex denial would not lead a responsible man into the laps of PROSTITUTES!!! It doesn’t make a man start engaging in ANAL SEX. There is nothing you men would not say to justify your bad behaviour. That is why Nigerian men do not get better, they just sit around with nasty attitudes and convince themselves they deserve the most virtuous woman.
Even some single guys do not do prostitutes. Do you know how twisted one would be to walk up to an obvious call girl and negotiate price? You think that is a habit a man would develop just because his wife denied him sex?
The lady clearly stated that she joined him in Canada and noticed that was his way of life. Yet you still have to twist it and heap the blame on her. This is his lifestyle.
You people would not die if you tell yourselves the truth. Ahnahn!!
140 Likes 18 Shares
|Re: Help My Husband Seems To Be Addicted To Prostitutes! by DeeMain(m): 12:17pm On Jan 16|
You must not allow him control how you see yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Put the blame where it should be - at the loins and mind of your husband. He has a serious sexual addiction problem. Worse, it is for prostitutes and porn.
Have a showdown talk with him where you draw the line - he should open up to you on his problem and how he came to be this way. He should agree to see a sex therapist and since you are also spiritual people, go for deliverance too. I prefer a two-pronged approach to issues like this.
If he does not agree or is not commited to this, consider moving out of his house and if it still persists consider divorce.
Consider the possibility of STDs, unintended consequences and other spiritual issues that may accompany such serial entanglements with prostitutes. There may be danger ahead. Protect yourself and your daughter. Physically. Spiritually.
41 Likes 4 Shares
|Re: Help My Husband Seems To Be Addicted To Prostitutes! by Laurene(f): 12:18pm On Jan 16|
Dress sexy, workout and mind what you eat.
|Re: Help My Husband Seems To Be Addicted To Prostitutes! by JONNYSPUTE(m): 12:21pm On Jan 16|
pocohantas:....Did you noticed I used some men? Or do you think every man has the capacity to deal with sexual urges?
That some does not doen't mean some will not.
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|Re: Help My Husband Seems To Be Addicted To Prostitutes! by pocohantas(f): 12:23pm On Jan 16|
Any small thing, they will start telling the wife to take care of herself. How many of you Nigerian men look good? With your pot bellies like drum and nonexistent necks.
Suddenly prostitutes look and feel better than your virtuous wives ba? Yet we keep hearing talks of how high body count makes a woman look old, sexually unresponsive and unattractive.
I guess it all flies out through the window when y’all are ready to justify and defend your cheating ways.
Why not marry the lady with ashewo vibes? You claim men know the one to marry. Say you want peace of mind. You done marry peace of mind now, you come dey cheat on am with ashewo. Confused gender.
131 Likes 16 Shares
|Re: Help My Husband Seems To Be Addicted To Prostitutes! by JONNYSPUTE(m): 12:27pm On Jan 16|
pocohantas:...We are saying the same thing here.That some does not do prostitutes will still not erase the facts that some don't see anything wrong in doing them and the said husband might be one of such men.
Nothing like calling a spade a spade here.
Besides many of all these runs girls and students that charges men money for sex are they not all classified as prostitutes?
3 Likes 1 Share
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