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In Love With A Much Older Man - Romance (3) - Nairaland

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Why Do Girls Prefer Much Older Guys? / Ladies, Have You Gone Out On A Date With A Much Older Guy? / Guys,what Was Your Experience Dating A Much Older Lady? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: In Love With A Much Older Man by wendymanda: 8:17pm On Aug 06, 2007
Aik is very right. Age is but a number but when Michael Jackson did everybody went crazy. What has he been waiting for? Hopefully not for her to be born. If an 18yr old person does not need to be thinking age is a number they need to leave little girls to find themselves young men their age.
Re: In Love With A Much Older Man by aikmamah1(m): 8:19pm On Aug 06, 2007
mishoo:

aik.mamah, i can still see the thing dey pepper you no be small.
You sabi the man or the girl??
abi something like that don happen to you before??
u want to know y? ok its bc i hate my landord, did i hear u say y?
Re: In Love With A Much Older Man by wendymanda: 8:36pm On Aug 06, 2007
AiK you should have just ignored him. THe thread asked a question and you answered it. It has nothing to do with whether it deh pepper you or not.
Re: In Love With A Much Older Man by rowlandwhy: 8:33am On Aug 07, 2007
pls if she is madly in love with him no amount of talks can make her derail.
So we should know her own opinion
Re: In Love With A Much Older Man by Roadblock: 1:46pm On Aug 07, 2007
All you want is for someone to endorse your action or at least give a go ahead so that you will clear your mind. The reason you gave for his divorse is not convincing at all. If you really are a christian then what I am about to say will be highly meaningful to you.
In christianity the only ground allowed for divorce is on adultery basis. If you get married with a divorcee on any other ground you have locked your self up in adultery.

when in your post I saw "one thing I've got to say, " I hought you were going to say something sensible, but to my disappointment you shamelessly displayed your lack of decency by reporting that as a teenager you slept with a man who is likely to be older than your father. or a little younger than him. You should be ashamed yourself, not only for doing that but for still see that as a virtue.

For the guy I am sure you did not expect him to give the real reason why his marriage failed especially when he was at fault. I am qiute sure the wife divorced him when he refused to change his ways of chasing small girls there by bringing shame to the woman, i guess the woman could take it any longer she had to leave. What kind of man at that age will go after girls your age. Believe it or not your was not the first and willl not be the last and also you are nott the only one he is keeping. He is simply an agabya(An old Fool).
I am happy you mentioned that your parents will not accept him, that is not because he is too old.But because they know better. If you want the best advice as to this Talk to parent or adults that are as old as that boy you called a man

There is nothing to pray about because if you do you will only be wasting your time because God will not be a part of a filthy and disgraceful relationship.
If you love your life you will flee.
Sorry to hit you this hard, this is the only way some messages can be understood.
Re: In Love With A Much Older Man by wendymanda: 6:03pm On Aug 07, 2007
All you want is for someone to endorse your action or at least give a go ahead so that you will clear your mind. The reason you gave for his divorse is not convincing at all. If you really are a christian then what I am about to say will be highly meaningful to you.
In christianity the only ground allowed for divorce is on adultery basis. If you get married with a divorcee on any other ground you have locked your self up in adultery.

when in your post I saw "one thing I've got to say, " I hought you were going to say something sensible, but to my disappointment you shamelessly displayed your lack of decency by reporting that as a teenager you slept with a man who is likely to be older than your father. or a little younger than him. You should be ashamed yourself, not only for doing that but for still see that as a virtue.

For the guy I am sure you did not expect him to give the real reason why his marriage failed especially when he was at fault. I am qiute sure the wife divorced him when he refused to change his ways of chasing small girls there by bringing shame to the woman, i guess the woman could take it any longer she had to leave. What kind of man at that age will go after girls your age. Believe it or not your was not the first and willl not be the last and also you are nott the only one he is keeping. He is simply an agabya(An old Fool).
I am happy you mentioned that your parents will not accept him, that is not because he is too old.But because they know better. If you want the best advice as to this Talk to parent or adults that are as old as that boy you called a man

There is nothing to pray about because if you do you will only be wasting your time because God will not be a part of a filthy and disgraceful relationship.
If you love your life you will flee.
Sorry to hit you this hard, this is the only way some messages can be understood.

Well put. Anyone else trying to match this is just wasting their time.

As roadblock said he will never stop chasing other girls. Younger girls than you are out there and if you fell for it is hard to believe someone else will not.
Re: In Love With A Much Older Man by aikmamah1(m): 6:20pm On Aug 07, 2007
Roadblock:

All you want is for someone to endorse your action or at least give a go ahead so that you will clear your mind. The reason you gave for his divorse is not convincing at all. If you really are a christian then what I am about to say will be highly meaningful to you.
In christianity the only ground allowed for divorce is on adultery basis. If you get married with a divorcee on any other ground you have locked your self up in adultery.

when in your post I saw "one thing I've got to say, " I hought you were going to say something sensible, but to my disappointment you shamelessly displayed your lack of decency by reporting that as a teenager you slept with a man who is likely to be older than your father. or a little younger than him. You should be ashamed yourself, not only for doing that but for still see that as a virtue.

For the guy I am sure you did not expect him to give the real reason why his marriage failed especially when he was at fault. I am qiute sure the wife divorced him when he refused to change his ways of chasing small girls there by bringing shame to the woman, i guess the woman could take it any longer she had to leave. What kind of man at that age will go after girls your age. Believe it or not your was not the first and willl not be the last and also you are nott the only one he is keeping. He is simply an agabya(An old Fool).
I am happy you mentioned that your parents will not accept him, that is not because he is too old.But because they know better. If you want the best advice as to this Talk to parent or adults that are as old as that boy you called a man

There is nothing to pray about because if you do you will only be wasting your time because God will not be a part of a filthy and disgraceful relationship.
If you love your life you will flee.
Sorry to hit you this hard, this is the only way some messages can be understood.

the weight of truth is much and when it hits, it hits with a great impact, but the truth is that though bitter, the truth is the truth


i can t agree with u any less
Re: In Love With A Much Older Man by aikmamah1(m): 6:21pm On Aug 07, 2007
guys if u read Roadblocks contribution then you will agree with me ( and of course him) that age is not[b] just [/b] a  number
Re: In Love With A Much Older Man by finevicode(m): 2:20am On Aug 08, 2007
nothing do you, just follow your heart grin grin grin
Re: In Love With A Much Older Man by wendymanda: 5:15am On Aug 08, 2007
nothing do you, just follow your heart

I think if she knew what her heart was saying she would not have started this thread.
Re: In Love With A Much Older Man by Macutie(f): 5:25am On Aug 08, 2007
I think u should take your time, get to really know this man, the reason he divorced, his do's and dont's you know? So u wont have 2go thru all the pain of a divorce. Dont let any man push/rush u into anything. Take your sweet time honey. All d best.
Re: In Love With A Much Older Man by ebabe1: 4:52pm On Aug 09, 2007
Na wa for some of una oh, somebody go reach out to una make una help the person with their problems, all you guys will do is to abuse the person as if it is not bad enough that she finds herself in a dilemma.

U guys should take it easy, no one is perfect and its not as if u guys are any better, if u have a negative answer, say it in a diplomatic way with respect and not by abusing the person who need help. It is not just in this thread that i have seen ur insults.

Girl, just take your time and dont be a a hurry to make any decision. Nobody can tell you what to do, its all left to you
Re: In Love With A Much Older Man by Roadblock: 5:30pm On Aug 09, 2007
e-babe:

Girl, just take your time and don't be a a hurry to make any decision. Nobody can tell you what to do, its all left to you

What an advice. IF she happens to be your sister is that the advice you willl give? If she is my sister my approach wouldnt have been any different. Only love speaks the truth.
Re: In Love With A Much Older Man by Mamas(f): 11:24am On Aug 10, 2007
Men! thats a sad story o i think i will put u in prayers n i so much believe that my God will help u.
Re: In Love With A Much Older Man by fineniggy(m): 3:37pm On Aug 10, 2007
that is good of u, u can go ahea
d fall, but be carefull grin grin grin grin grin cheesy cool
nne even me self love u, !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Re: In Love With A Much Older Man by ALHAMBRA(m): 6:07pm On Aug 10, 2007
Hey girl, a million people cannot tell you what to do about love, passion and emotions. My gut feeling is that you must do what is best for you.

But you have said it in your lines, that you love him. Well, what else can I tell you. Get pregnant for him soon. That would impact any decision by your parents to marry or not to marry him. The game is get pregnant for him soon.

With kind regards,

ALHAMBRA
Re: In Love With A Much Older Man by juliesanto(f): 1:38pm On Aug 11, 2007
my dear, seek the face of God and let God decide for u. remember marriage is not something u can endure is something u can enjoy. so take ur time don't rush into it. the older man might be the best man for u but ask for time to seek the face of the almighty and it shall be well with u.
Re: In Love With A Much Older Man by sammy6(m): 1:46pm On Aug 11, 2007
Marry am jo
Re: In Love With A Much Older Man by lovemajek(f): 5:14pm On Aug 11, 2007
I don tell her before say marry am, but prepare for second wife sha.
Re: In Love With A Much Older Man by wendymanda: 5:24pm On Aug 11, 2007
I don tell her before say marry am, but prepare for second wife sha.

Honestly and the third as well
Re: In Love With A Much Older Man by lovemajek(f): 5:25pm On Aug 11, 2007
no kill the poor lady, two is enough.
Re: In Love With A Much Older Man by ariblaze(m): 7:50am On Aug 13, 2007
norym:

Elizyous has been away from here too long. Her man must have died. sad


you are eveel grin
Re: In Love With A Much Older Man by shopkraft(f): 8:22am On Aug 13, 2007
I don't think the lady left the thread at all.

It's just not so easy to get the kind of punches that people have been sending to her. Still, most people have good intentions, just how strong they felt about it all!

, but then, 18years is young in Nigeria, but old enough in other parts of the world. The truth is this, teenagers will do what they will, with or without approval. If the founding principles is compromised at home, we can't cry over spilt milk. But we can "point" out "lovingly", not with matchets and cutlasses,

, I believe my response is "late" already as the lady may not bother to read this thread again, but who knows?

, The one thing that I think is very important is, "what does she want to do?" I mean leaving the relationship aside, what about other aspirations in life like school, career, ambition? How much of the world has she seen? Have you been with other guys around same agegroup I mean platonic relationship, how do they make you feel? Do you feel a certain pull of attraction whether or not you pursue it?

How about sorting out what you want to do, have a picture for your future and see if the guy fits in. I'll suggest she takes on the responsibilities of caring for a baby non stop for pure humanitarian purposes(not sure if volunteer facilities like such exist in Nigeria), go to school or work as it may be while caring for this baby, just to test what her tolerance level will be.

Life comes once, use it wisely dear. You'll be happier for it. No one can influence you and you already know it. What you want to do, you already know. But good people here can lend you an insight into the future which you're not part of yet. They can show you a real life video of the other side. Believe this, for something as big as marriage, being pregnant, playing home. You need more than feelings. You need to be sure this is where you want to be. The only way to determine this is if you've been somewhere else, thats how you can choose, from what you stated, it seems HE's the only world you've known. And even then, thats not a bad thing, but dear, look around the market before you pay for the yams, because just immediately you put money on some goods, then you see a better one.

You owe the unborn kids, yourself and your womanhood that you've done all there is to be done before taking this plunge. The best potential in the world is being a woman, its the most powerful "state" of being in the whole world. YOU can mold a life, or YOU can break it. So what is it going to be Ms Elyzuous? Will you give the future generation that will come through you LIFE? Or will you BREAK and WASTE them even before conception? Marrying or not marrying this man is not the issue, you already knows what he's done with his life, and how he's lived it. Now the question is YOU. How will you live yours. What are you bringing to the marital bed. Will that just be your womb and a strong back to carry the babies? Or a sound mind and credentials to survive the uncertainties and perils of marriage? And a discerning mind to paddle its joys and growth.

, So what is it going to be O woman! You will answer for your decisions someday, please choose wisely, think, think, and then eat, drink, take a walk and come back to think some more. Forget about the whole stuff, do something else, and then come back again to think. Kneel down and pray. Exercise your right to a beautiful life. Protect your world for you and your seeds.
Re: In Love With A Much Older Man by elizyous: 11:13am On Aug 13, 2007
@Shopfraft, Thanks so much for your reply, it was the most touching i have read all these while.

I have not left the thread, i have been online all these while but just wanting to stay low and read your various views. Thanks a lot for your time and giving me you own opinion.
Re: In Love With A Much Older Man by lovemajek(f): 8:37pm On Aug 13, 2007
Welcome, we they here for you always, even if your man no want you again someone here will marry you.
Re: In Love With A Much Older Man by jilpado: 12:45pm On Aug 14, 2007
IN MY OWN OPINION , YOU HAVE TO PRAY ABOUT IT , SECONDLY BECAUSE HE IS YOUR FIRST LOVE DOEST NOT MEAN YOU CAN GET THE BEST ELSE WHERE , THAT MIGHT BE YOUR MAN FORGET ABOUT AGE , CONSIDER YOUR HAPPINESS , DONT BE BOTHERED ABOUT WHAT FRIEND WILL SAY , THEY WILL ENVY YOU WHEN THING GO WELL IN YOUR MARRIAGE AND THIERS CRUMBLE HAVEN SELECTED THEIR BEST OPTIONS, IN A NUT SHELL HOOK ON TO GOD FOR RIGHT DIRECTION. MAKE YOUR PARENTS REASON WITH YOU CONVINCE THEM ;BUT GET TO KNOW HE IS HONEST WITH YOU ;
Re: In Love With A Much Older Man by Roadblock: 10:10am On Aug 20, 2007
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Wrong thread! wrong strategy! Go to computer village in ikeja
Re: In Love With A Much Older Man by dejilovesu(m): 5:17am On Aug 21, 2007
well, lady
Guys have all said it well, let me ask u a question? since u have being dating and sleeping wit the man, as it being an unprotected sex whereby u get pregnant for the man? if not forget it, it simply means he is not a complete man dat makes him an impotent 4 cryin out loud.
think b4 u forge ahead in getting married to the man.
less i forget, wat have u achieved so far, in so many perpectives in life? and re u sure u not going for greener?
goodluck lady,
Re: In Love With A Much Older Man by dammyllola(f): 10:48am On Aug 21, 2007
hi evryone, having heard what evryone has said i think what i have to say may be worthy of note. i have loved such deeply once, older amd seperated from his wife. i know he loved me and i thot we could make it work.
but i knw my folks were goin to say no, there were other issues that i couldt wave aside.
the issue of the wife being at fault is always the story ur given and u believe it if u havent listened to both sides. well i listened to both sides and realized it takes two to tango, they were both at fault.
my dear i know how u feel really i do cos i have been in the exact situation with you. i mean it but you know what saved me? i had to talk it out with God,i asked him if this was his best for me and not me forcing him on God. U know what i heard, HE said TRUE LOVE IS ALL ABOUT BEING SELFLESS AND ITS ALL ABOUT LETTING GO OF SOMETHING U CHERISH.WHY? LOVE DOES NOT HINDER, IT DOES NOT HOLD BACK, IT RELEASES, MOST IMPORTANTLY LOVE IS UNCONDITIONAL.
when He told me all this i realised that it was true,so seek His counsel and u would be surprised at what He would have to say to you. You are here for a purpose sweetheart and it is vital that u have a helpmate to make u fulfill it. its been two months since i have been with this guy. in between i met someone but its been hard but God is faithful.
wow i said alot but i am realy passionate abt this issue so dearie it wouldnt be easy but whatever God tells u to do please do it for it is for ur own good. He loves u more than u can ever imagine. trust him on this.it wouldnt be easy but, but his love will carry u thru if he is not the one for u. and he is the one for u then congratulations!
let me know how it goes ok
stay blessed smiley
Re: In Love With A Much Older Man by luckia(m): 3:16pm On Aug 23, 2007
i am in support of what FUNMI AND SILLYBOY (very silly) has just said, listen you might be in friendship for that long time but still,some secret, all i will advice is for you to get better information about His ex wife (note: not from HIM) and know what the problem really is between she and he, as for that will give you a better insight of what you are to meet.

One thing is that you are happy with him, (but please it shouldb't be because of His money and other generousity, for men can be trickish you know) which is a very neccessary ingredient for marriage, with that its ok, positively i will advice you go in, but if reverse is the case then, !

Most importantly Pray.
Re: In Love With A Much Older Man by ohwofasa(m): 5:13pm On Aug 23, 2007
just go on,use ur head
Re: In Love With A Much Older Man by Osarodion(m): 3:36pm On Aug 24, 2007
[b]@aik.mamah . he is the first and the only man u ve known, which means (a) he took advantage of an innocent inexperienced, underaged young girl (that is a crime that can fetch him 6 years improsonment) that man is harthless (b) u think he is the best because u ve not sampled any other, try some younger and more careing guy and u will know the different, ( u don't know what your missin)[/b] 

You just have to listen to aik.mamah because he just said the whole truth notin but the truth,no disciplined man will go after young a girl that is old enough to be he's daugther.YOU'LL SURELY MAKE A BIG MISTAKE IF You MARRY THAT MAN.

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