oluseyiforjesus:
Who is narcissist

check the dictionary

hermesprogidy:
I once resigned and didn't bother telling my narcissistic boss. She went ballistic lol.... That was my payback to her for being a royal bitch.

I'm glad you took the best decision

irunoko:
if he has such horrible mentality,how then Will he now be treating his wife at home? God forbid.having a conversation with a narcissist in itself is extremely stressful and draining that is for like 10 mins plus that guy like storrryyyyyy.he Sabi talk.there was a day he sat me down and started talking to me from 11 am to to 2.30 pm.i blanked out.at some point sef I started praying in my mind he releases me.even when my phone was ringing I could not pick it because he was dominating the conversation and always enjoys having the final say.meanwhile I didn't even pay attention to 70 percent of whatever he was saying because I was already tired and irritated

See more about narcissist here


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnSiJOOdo30


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjZ3f-IXEXU

irunoko:
wow I see.what a sad life for people with such obsessive controlling disorder

See more about narcissist here


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnSiJOOdo30


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjZ3f-IXEXU

josite:
Resign in accordance with your employment contract and go your way.wgen he was feeding you he wasn't a narcissist.

he was.i was only tolerating him.then point of correction,he wasn't feeding me,HE PAID ME FOR THE SERVICES I RENDERED TO HIS COMPANY SO IT'S AN EARNED ALLOWANCE abeg

Evolutionlove:
Nigeria Is a Toxic Environment filled with Sadistic Humans. So all these na Just story.....

nigeria situation is not a justifiable reason to treat people badly, disrespect people's feelings and show no empathy afterall everyone is feeling Nigeria's heat one way or another

irunoko:
well,I worked with him for two years and I discovered he is very exploitative, manipulative and a user.for example,he wants us to get a particular job done/type some documents but when the secretary complains that paper or ink in the printer has been exhausted,he will get dismissive, covertly aggressive and tells her to find a way to print it like that.when OTHERS discovered he's a narcissist they became sychophatic and decided to lick his ass in his presence while gossiping about him in his absence.on some occasions he has sweet talked and manipulated me into adding my money to buy A4 papers when the money he released wasn't enough.the worst part of it is that he is so entitled, shows no appreciation and has complete disregard for our feelings.he only gets friendly when he needs a favour from his surbodinates or wants them to get things done for him at little or no cost

Another issue I noticed is that he started changing towards me when he approached me to be selling gnld products for him and I turned down his request.since then I noticed he has been resenting me but now I'm tired and had enough of all the rubbish.

Hope you are not my colleague right?
Why are we facing same challenges.
May God see us through in this private firm Sha. I am damn tired.

anzaku47:

Hope you are not my colleague right?
Why are we facing same challenges.
May God see us through in this private firm Sha. I am damn tired.

lol please ma/sir start searching for better options make he no begin think say without him you can't feed or survive

Narcissists are very terrible people. I don't pity them when I or someone else is dealing with them. Very terrible lot.

I am presently on a case similar to yours.

irunoko:
I intentionally didn't tell him at the beginning of the meeting.i needed to tell him privately because I didn't want him to create a scene or drama in the presence of anybody because I said I was leaving hence the time I told him

Okay, first off, next time, it would
be adviceable for you to give at
least two months notice to your
employer stating that you want
to leave your place of work to
pursue other things or for health
reasons. As an employer myself,
I know that this could be a major
reason why a boss could get upset if the resignation is sudden. The
bosses/HR require this prior notice so that company duties are not
disrupted.


Try to maintain a final exit that
is less filled with tension. It's a small
world and you and your former
employer might need each other's
assistance in the near future.


Forgive him for talking harshly
to your and be the bigger man.
Some employers do not have
emotional intelligence skills for
dealing with their staff and the larger society.

Cheers.

wealthtrak:

Okay. First off, next time, it would
be adviceable for you to give at
least two months notice to your
employer stating that you want
to leave your place of work to
pursue other things or for health
reasons. As an employer myself,
I know that this could be a major
reason why a boss could get upset if the resignation is sudden. The
bosses/HR require this prior notice so that company duties are not
disrupted!


Try to maintain a final exit that
less filled with tension. It's a small
world and you and your former
employer might need each other's
assistance in the near future.


Forgive him for talking harshly
to your and be the bigger man.
Some employers do not have
emotional intelligence skills for
dealing with their staff and the larger society.

Cheers.

Two months notice unto say wetin?

Do you know what you are saying? 2 frigging months notice and you think the other company where you plan to go to, will be willing to wait for you for a whole 60days

You must be a joker

@ irunoko,

Your boss just can't believe that someone can walk out on him. Narcissists are a self-deluded set of people who believe people need them, but not vice versa. They tend to have the same tendencies in relationships.

I had one narcissistic boss like that who made it difficult for staff members to even breath. She was deployed to our country office and in her bid to show staff members that there was a new sheriff in town, she went on a bullying spree. Yelling was her modus communicandi. She was extremely unpleasant to everyone and got easily triggered by the slightest of things. She tormented everyone, from the driver, to the cleaner, to the Admin Assistant, and to the staff who worked directly under her supervision (where I belonged).

I knew she'd lost it when she not only instructed the Admin Assistant to stand while talking to her, she demanded that her posture should be upright while at it. You know the famous military posture? The famous "chin up, chest out, shoulders back, stomach in"? That's how much of a nutcase she was. Those who tried arse-licking her got exhausted eventually. She was sent from hell to steal, kill and destroy people's peace of mind.

Miss M.O. (her initials) would also resort to passive aggression whenever she couldn't bully you into doing military posture. For instance, she would nominate your name for a training or field activity that would involve taking a trip to countries where some of our partners were based, and 5 days later she'd "change her mind" and nominate some other staff member. She'd do this just to make you prepare for it, envision yourself in Mauritius or the UAE, envision what gifts you'll return with from the trip for your spouse, your children, your parents, siblings, friends, etc, then poof! She'd dash your blueprint. There was a way she'd fold her mouth and lips while giving you unpleasant news. Something akin to an exaggerated duck pout. She'd utilise that pout at such moments. Very sadistic somebody.

To cut the long story short, I recall having a that's it moment and later that day I informed her that I'd be sending my official notice to HR. When the devil's mistress received my official resignation letter, she went mute. I had been such an enthusiastic performer, she felt I needed my job more than the organisation needed me. Of course she demanded to know why I was resigning and I told her that I was moving on to do private business. I stated that I had given my best to people and I felt it's time to explore what I can do for myself.

Within that last month I took up a 2-week field project to get away from the lunatic. I turned down the idea of a farewell party (I generally hate parties) but we just had a last official meeting of some sort where I thanked everyone for their support and wished them well in their endeavours.

The only downside to my resignation was that my papa was disappointed. The way he's held my hand through this journey of life, I usually feel somehow about the prospects of disappointing him. He's a very practical and resilient person, and he never quite understood why anyone would walk out of a very stable source of income for the simple reason that the boss has got satanic tendencies. (Never mind, he himself takes nobody's crap... ) He came around though and supports what I'm currently doing.

Nobody should ever apologise for pursuing their peace of mind.

chukzyfcbb:

Two months notice unto say wetin?

Do you know what you are saying? 2 frigging months notice and you think the other company where you plan to go to, will be willing to wait for you for a whole 60days

You must be a joker

Hey!

Are you AWARE that you spoke in an uncivil manner to me here and said things that I NEVER said or implied?

You're the "joker" here young man! Be civil. Not paying proper attention to little details has cost some people their jobs or loses in investments running into millions
in USD.

You did NOT read my CLEAR posts properly... Learn to read posts well before barging into other people's online convos.

I told the OP that a prior notice of
2 months (or slighly less) should
be given by any staff before leaving a job for another. [i.e., If you plan on leaving a job in the month of
May 2022, give the boss a hint that
you'll be leaving from March 2022].

At the END of the 2 months notice, s/he can conveniently leave for a new job! Period. I've had work experience for over 3 decades in
different capacities, and I'm the CEO of a company with international ties. I gave the OP some advice here because he seemed to me to be a genuine
and likeable person.


Enough said.

Na you wey write resignation later fin trouble. All the Narcists I've worked with, I didn't write any resignation later. They will see me today and will not see me again. After all, when they want to sack you they will not write to you.

rickpat:
They act that way because they're are going to miss controlling you... narcissist hate when you want to get out of their Claws of control and manipulation...that's the reason

Op this is the correct answer. Narcissists hate Lossing control. They can even go as far as killing the person rather than loosing control

irunoko:
wow he really lacks empathy.so you mean he didn't even call you to ask/know about your welfare? He was more bothered about his Lousy job than your well being?

you are right he lacks empathy and he only cares about his job.am only still working with em because avnt secure another yet and probably other good pple there that shows me love and called me the other day.i remember the day he insulted me for comming late.and I did that on purpose because he owes me.and with all em gra gra he no fit vex pay me immediately.make God just help us for this country pple are enduring alot of useless job Nd bosses.naa why if Nigerians travel dem no dey wan gree come back..well am just sure wen I leave he will feel my vacuum space..and I don't give a shit his bad mouth I would av moved on isha allahu.and he can go fuk em self and his job and gragra empty promises and fumbles.useless bosses using yur head thinking dey are wise but foolish

nwakibe:
Na you wey write resignation later fin trouble. All the Narcists I've worked with, I didn't write any resignation later. They will see me today and will not see me again. After all, when they want to sack you they will not write to you.

This is a coward's way of resigning. Very tactless. You are the type of people who end relationships and engagements by ghosting your lover.

Try by all means not to burn bridges no matter how narcissistic your boss is. You may be required at one point to reach out to your former workplace for something as minor as a certificate of service which could be required for something as major as processing of a work permit/visa. A vindictive ex-boss can choose to frustrate the process, especially if they come to know that they hold the cards to a major life-changing opportunity for you.

You don't have to be friends with your narcissistic bosses, but be cordial, at best.

Farfalla:
@ irunoko,

Your boss just can't believe that someone can walk out on him. Narcissists are a self-deluded set of people who believe people need them, but not vice versa. They tend to have the same tendencies in relationships.

I had one narcissistic boss like that who made it difficult for staff members to even breath. She was deployed to our country office and in her bid to show staff members that there was a new sheriff in town, she went on a bullying spree. Yelling was her modus communicandi. She was extremely unpleasant to everyone and got easily triggered by the slightest of things. She tormented everyone, from the driver, to the cleaner, to the Admin Assistant, and to the staff who worked directly under her supervision (where I belonged).

I knew she'd lost it when she not only instructed the Admin Assistant to stand while talking to her, she demanded that her posture should be upright while at it. You know the famous military posture? The famous "chin up, chest out, shoulders back, stomach in"? That's how much of a nutcase she was. Those who tried arse-licking her got exhausted eventually. She was sent from hell to steal, kill and destroy people's peace of mind.

Miss M.O. (her initials) would also resort to passive aggression whenever she couldn't bully you into doing military posture. For instance, she would nominate your name for a training or field activity that would involve taking a trip to countries where some of our partners were based, and 5 days later she'd "change her mind" and nominate some other staff member. She'd do this just to make you prepare for it, envision yourself in Mauritius or the UAE, envision what gifts you'll return with from the trip for your spouse, your children, your parents, siblings, friends, etc, then poof! She'd dash your blueprint. There was a way she'd fold her mouth and lips while giving you unpleasant news. Something akin to an exaggerated duck pout. She'd utilise that pout at such moments. Very sadistic somebody.

To cut the long story short, I recall having a that's it moment and later that day I informed her that I'd be sending my official notice to HR. When the devil's mistress received my official resignation letter, she went mute. I had been such an enthusiastic performer, she felt I needed my job more than the organisation needed me. Of course she demanded to know why I was resigning and I told her that I was moving on to do private business. I stated that I had given my best to people and I felt it's time to explore what I can do for myself.

Within that last month I took up a 2-week field project to get away from the lunatic. I turned down the idea of a farewell party (I generally hate parties) but we just had a last official meeting of some sort where I thanked everyone for their support and wished them well in their endeavours.

The only downside to my resignation was that my papa was disappointed. The way he's held my hand through this journey of life, I usually feel somehow about the prospects of disappointing him. He's a very practical and resilient person, and he never quite understood why anyone would walk out of a very stable source of income for the simple reason that the boss has got satanic tendencies. (Never mind, he himself takes nobody's crap... ) He came around though and supports what I'm currently doing.

Nobody should ever apologise for pursuing their peace of mind.

my sister I'm so happy that you womaned up to put an end to such level of disrespect and bs.that level of narcissism you described is extreme and almost bordering on sociopathic tendencies.shes obviously not a happy woman and she is clearly damaged with the description you gave.unfortunately she sees you as an easy target because she knows your salary is in her hands

At some point you have to choose peace and protect your sanity from toxic people.no amount of salary can replace peace of mind abeg.i mean what's the essence of going to a place where a psychopath Will be triggering you and pushing your limits.moreso with such character,I hope she is able to see someone who will love her

wealthtrak:

Okay, first off, next time, it would
be adviceable for you to give at
least two months notice to your
employer stating that you want
to leave your place of work to
pursue other things or for health
reasons. As an employer myself,
I know that this could be a major
reason why a boss could get upset if the resignation is sudden. The
bosses/HR require this prior notice so that company duties are not
disrupted.


Try to maintain a final exit that
is less filled with tension. It's a small
world and you and your former
employer might need each other's
assistance in the near future.


Forgive him for talking harshly
to your and be the bigger man.
Some employers do not have
emotional intelligence skills for
dealing with their staff and the larger society.

Cheers.

thanks my brother

funmise007:
you are right he lacks empathy and he only cares about his job.am only still working with em because avnt secure another yet and probably other good pple there that shows me love and called me the other day.i remember the day he insulted me for comming late.and I did that on purpose because he owes me.and with all em gra gra he no fit vex pay me immediately.make God just help us for this country pple are enduring alot of useless job Nd bosses.naa why if Nigerians travel dem no dey wan gree come back..well am just sure wen I leave he will feel my vacuum space..and I don't give a shit his bad mouth I would av moved on isha allahu.and he can go fuk em self and his job and gragra empty promises and fumbles.useless bosses using yur head thinking dey are wise but foolish

they are only taking advantage of the unemployment situation in nigeria and the fact that there are no employee protection policies and agencies

irunoko:
thanks my brother

@Irunoko,
You're welcome.
All the best.

irunoko:
my sister I'm so happy that you womaned up to put an end to such level of disrespect and bs.that level of narcissism you described is extreme and almost bordering on sociopathic tendencies.

She was a case study that one.
One colleague described her as demon-possessed. I didn't rule out that possibility.

irunoko:
At some point you have to choose peace and protect your sanity from toxic people.no amount of salary can replace peace of mind abeg.

This is the exact thing I told my papa. They paid really well and offered excellent benefits but at what price? Constant heart palpitations?

irunoko:
I hope she is able to see someone who will love her.

That shouldn't be a problem.

Jezebel found Ahab, Delilah found Samson and Angelina Jolie found Brad Pitt. She will definitely be somebody's pick. The odds are in her favour. A good 80% of men will pick her damaged self to try and fix her.

Farfalla:

She was a case study that one.
One colleague described her as demon-possessed. I didn't rule out that possibility.


This is the exact thing I told my papa. They paid really well and offered excellent benefits but at what price? Constant heart palpitations?


That shouldn't be a problem.

Jezebel found Ahab, Delilah found Samson and Angelina Jolie found Brad Pitt. She will definitely be somebody's pick. The odds are in her favour. A good 80% of men will pick her damaged self to try and fix her.

lmaooo for them to attach a juicy salary to the job it means they knew she was a psychopath and only few people can tolerate her excesses

sinator:
Op this is the correct answer. Narcissists hate Lossing control. They can even go as far as killing the person rather than loosing control

lmaooo haba !

Kill say you no wan work for them again? When no be say we swear oath

Raze001:
I am presently on a case similar to yours.

I wish you a successful, tension and drama free Process in your resignation sir

Nuttella:
Before I resigned I made sure I gave her a piece of my mind, their ain't no way I will resign without telling her how she is.

I'm happy you did.i also notice narc's have an uncontrollable hunger for attention and spotlight.they don't like any employee outshining them even when they know the employee is good at his job.they must just find one unpleasant thing to say that'll dampen his spirit, enthusiasm and make him depressed.

I noticed that i was depressed at the early stages of being employed because he always wanted things done his way or no other way,goes through my WhatsApp status and start telling me what to post and not to post on WhatsApp.when I discussed with my colleague,they said I should block him so I had to.i remember when he embarrassed one of my female colleagues during a meeting for wearing stud earring on her nose.the outburst and lambasting was too much so after the meeting I had to Tell her to kneel down and beg him so he go comot eye for your matter.


Meanwhile sometimes I wonder if he can treat his employees like this,how will he now be treating his wife and kids at home.i forgot to even mention that he claims to be a pastor

Once he gets to office,he go carry symbal begin to use am sing

COOL10:



Trust me, the best thing you can do is to leave that place. Narcissists are masters of self projection and they love to feel like they are the victims. You would be wise to expect your boss to go on a smear campaign against you. It must have even started already.

Narcissists are demonic entities. Stay away from them if you can.

what surprises me is that he's so religious.he leads devotions before any meeting or official work.even at meetings Na him dey dominate conversations sef

COOL10:



Trust me, the best thing you can do is to leave that place. Narcissists are masters of self projection and they love to feel like they are the victims. You would be wise to expect your boss to go on a smear campaign against you. It must have even started already.

Narcissists are demonic entities. Stay away from them if you can.

what surprises me is that he's so religious.he leads devotions before any meeting or official work.even at meetings Na him dey dominate conversations sef.he thinks he knows it all while everyone else doesn't know shiii

irunoko:
what surprises me is that he's so religious.he leads devotions before any meeting or official work.even at meetings Na him dey dominate conversations sef.he thinks he knows it all while everyone else doesn't know shiii

Bro, I'm still recovering from my own narcissistic abuse. I had constant mild panic attacks before going to work. My self esteem was greatly reduced. I had to leave before I run mad.

At least your colleagues saw him for what he is but they were still asslickers. My ex colleagues were so gullible that he managed to convince them that I was the bad guy. I was super nice to this man.

Narcissists get their happiness by causing other people pain but they make it look like you're the evil one. They are empty vessels.

irunoko:
lmaooo for them to attach a juicy salary to the job it means they knew she was a psychopath and only few people can tolerate her excesses

Actually she joined the organisation as a replacement. I had interacted with her before in other circles but I never picked up on her sadistic tendencies. Maybe I wasn't so keen either.

So, what's your plan after the resignation?

irunoko:
I'm happy you did.i also notice narc's have an uncontrollable hunger for attention and spotlight.they don't like any employee outshining them even when they know the employee is good at his job.they must just find one unpleasant thing to say that'll dampen his spirit, enthusiasm and make him depressed.

I noticed that i was depressed at the early stages of being employed because he always wanted things done his way or no other way,goes through my WhatsApp status and start telling me what to post and not to post on WhatsApp.when I discussed with my colleague,they said I should block him so I had to.i remember when he embarrassed one of my female colleagues during a meeting for wearing stud earring on her nose.the outburst and lambasting was too much so after the meeting I had to Tell her to kneel down and beg him so he go comot eye for your matter.


Meanwhile sometimes I wonder if he can treat his employees like this,how will he now be treating his wife and kids at home.i forgot to even mention that he claims to be a pastor

Once he gets to office,he go carry symbal begin to use am sing

There is no way I will take this from any human being on earth, I resigned after one month.