GRAMMARJAMES:
Good afternoon Nairalanders.
We've been together for a year and 2 weeks.
I intending settling down with her so I proposed to her 6 months to the relationship.
Before proposal, she tells me so many things about herself. eg.
She doesn't have so many friends, she's the church type and her life revolves around house, church, and my place sometimes.
She has concluded her service year but no job. I opened a POS for her to keep her busy and engaged and she's really doing well in it because I do see the inflows and outflows. She's not the material type . Very prudent in spending. She's kind, generous , from a well cultured home.

What causes the depression.

Their parents only gave birth to 3 of them. She's the first and only girl. (27yrs). The other two are boys. She thinks about alot of things like she' has yet to start giving her parents returns, very soon she will get married, who's going to look after her parents and younger ones, the POS is stressful to her as she will leave home in the morning and when she gets back home in the evening, she will still need to cook and do other chores, she' doesn't have time for herself, she has an ambition of being a Medical doctor but look at her under the scorching sun hustling POS stipends. She doesn't socialise, now self, she has stopped going to church, always sleeping , crying and gets angry at herself and other person's for absolute no reason. The last time she came over to my place, I wasn't around, she knew where I kept my room keys, she entered and cut herself with blade on her wrist and dropped a note.. (I'm sorry). I was so scared, I had to call her younger brother which we rushed her to the nearby hospital without the knowledge of her parents. The last one that shock me was when I saw sniper in her bag. I bought her ice cream, on helping her put it inside her bag, I saw it. I confronted her and she just started crying. I keep encouraging her that suicide isn't an option, she should consider how many people she will hurt by killing herself. We've prayed together, she even told me she doesn't believe in God anymore. I keep encouraging her, keep praying for her. I'm just confused about the whole situation.

Please Nairalanders, what's your take.
Should I go ahead and marry her, I had the plan of visiting her parents Q4 this year.
Thanks

Take her go a professional counselor

Lalami3232:
She never ready to die. If she wan die, she knows 1000 ways to achieve it. I hate when people dey blackmail other people emotionally. She's indirectly telling you to invest more in her.
Bros, I'm a very realistic person ooooo. If she thinks death is the best solution, then make she kukuma kill herself na. Why come to your house to cut her wrist? Maybe that girl na village people wey wan implicate you or maybe she has psychological problem.
But either ways, I feel say she's indirectly blackmailing you to do better. Na this kind person wey no fit face hard time na you wan marry? You don dey see the signs oooo, it's left for you to make your village people win or lost.


I don talk am before and I go talk am again, " the day I go mistakenly born girl pikin, I go *****"

Good submission......may you not receive any unsolicited slap this year

Wow so u bring our matter come nairaland.com
In another format babe I greet you oo
Like 4 real im still in shock okay using another format nice one
Oh well I go just sit down de read advice
No p babe u try
Ps, ur moniker funny me sha lol

HopeNeverDies:
Damnnnn!!!! Stick to her brrrh.... This is the best time she needs you. I pay everything turns around to be good for you both.

My thoughts and prayers are with u.

Oga stop lying.. your thoughts and prayers are not with him

The economy is depressing

bummyla:
Some body in her small circle is emotionally blackmailing her! Could be her mother, could be her parents, could be her siblings. And being the first child, she is supposed to carry the burden her own parents couldn't carry. Making her feel like a bad person because she is not living up to their stupid expectations.

This is one of the things that destroyed my marriage, madam, always felt bad for living a better life, than most of her friends and siblings, and they made her feel bad for having a better life then, by God's grace. That she told me, that she rather be in the same level with her friends and siblings than above them. So with her hands she destroyed her success to please them.

And I saw how depressed she would be some times, after their useless calls, because they make her feel like a bad person.

This thing does not stop unless your woman decide to stop living in guilt of her parents inability to cater for their family.

Last year we read about a doctor that committed suicide because he failed his exams. I met some one close to the family, and I got the right gist, being the first son, there were a lot of expectations from him, to alleviate the family from poverty, not only the family, but a whole village that contribute to his training as a doctor. Thinking if he passed the exam will bring him promotion at work with more money. When he failed I felt like a failure and ended his life, so is your girl feeling right now.

A comrade with knowledge and understanding
The enlightened one you have spoken well

She's wasting depression

That up there that you call the reason for her depression is not it at all

I can understand because sometimes, when one is depressed, you may not even know what exactly causes it until maybe you are free from it and you look back

Maybe you can seek spiritual help