The Publisher on a recent trip to Onitsha met an educated trader who said that his plans to marry a beautiful lady from Anambra State was truncated by culture which was rather discriminatory and stigmatizing. Read his story:

My assumed name for the purpose of this story is Emeka Okonkwo. I am from Abia State but was born and bred in Onitsha, the economic nerve centre of Anambra State.

My parents were indigent and so as a teenager I was apprenticed to a wealthy trader here where I passed through the Igbo apprenticeship system whereby a young boy is taught the ropes of business and is financially compensated after a period of time.

I learnt the trade fast as I was determined to lift my family out of poverty as the eldest child. My then master was very good to me and I was duly compensated after the expiration of the tenure.

Shortly after I set up shop, I began to go to China to import goods and life was very good to me as I was economically uplifted. I still felt there was something lacking in my life which was the lack of a good formal education as I didn’t finish secondary school. I could communicate very well in English because of the exposure I got from the children of my former master who were attending good schools but I still felt the need to fill in that gap.

I went back to school on a part time basis after the close of work and passed the GCE as well as JAMB exams which enabled me gain admission to the Nnamdi Azikiwe University where I studied Business Administration in their sandwich program.

I finished the course and even did a Masters Degree at the University of Nigeria Nsukka which then earned me the appellation of a lion.

I was now well over 30 and there was pressure on me from my parents to get married so as to give them grand children before they joined their ancestors.

As an eligible bachelor, I had more than my fair share of women and I was somewhat of a playboy as these beautiful nubile maidens flocked to me like bees to the honey nectar because of my newly found wealth.

I was really tired of these leeches and wanted a God-fearing lady who would consolidate my wealth to be my wife.

I met a lady who incidentally was my account officer who hailed from Onitsha. I was impressed by her in depth knowledge of financial matters and she had helped me grow my account. She was a rare combination of beauty and brains and her fair complexion really drove me crazy.

She was just recovering from a heartbreak from a Diaspora lover when I asked her out. She initially played hard to get but finally succumbed. We got along very well for two years till I popped the question while we were on a well-deserved vacation in Ibiza, Spain. She replied in the affirmative and we met each other’s parents and family members.

My agony started when her father said they would have to conduct a thorough investigation into my family to ascertain whether they could hand over their darling daughter to me. I was told to come back after a month.

That waiting period was the longest of my life as I constantly checked the time and cursed its snail speed.

After the expiration of the period, her dad asked me to confirm something which his investigators found out: I remember his words clearly from his booming voice: ‘Does insanity run in your family?’

I took a deep breath and opened up to him that my immediate younger brother and a distant cousin battled with a mental health challenge and took him down memory lane of how it all started.

His words were stern: ‘I am sorry we cannot give you our daughter to marry as we don’t want our grandchildren to be affected as it is hereditary.’

I begged and begged but he stuck to his guns. My fiancée still reassured me of her love for me but made it clear that she couldn’t defy her parents as it was against the culture to do so.

Months passed and she was still assuring me that she would talk to her dad to change his mind only for her to send me a text message one Saturday morning where she wrote: ‘Baby, I regret to say this but I have moved on without you as I cannot disobey my dad since I need his marital blessings. I pray you find your missing rib.’

This stung me like a bee’s sting; I tried her number but I had been blocked. She had also been transferred to a branch of the bank in Lagos. I wept like a baby but such is life as I couldn’t compel her to marry me.

I am currently in a long-distance relationship with a Jamaican lady I met online and I was open about my family history from the onset and she said it was no big deal. I feared a second heartbreak which was why I immediately opened up to her. I can’t really say I have found love again as we just started.

The reason I shared my story is to lend my voice to the campaign against the stigmatization of the mentally challenged as in most cases it is not even their fault. Life is too short to be engaged in a daily jaw jaw of hate and discrimination.

Let’s show more love to them as the ailment can afflict anybody since it is no respecter of age, status, creed or even past discriminatory stands.

https://africavoiceshq.com/2022/03/20/how-culture-denied-me-of-my-wife/

Eiya,it’s not easy to take such decision of going ahead to marry you sha,I really don’t blame her dad as well because he’s just trying to protect her daughter

Iyaebe:
Eiya,it’s not easy to take such decision of going ahead to marry you sha,I really don’t blame her dad as well because he’s just trying to protect her daughter

and if she become otanaka nna...na him go complain till she dey depressed.

donbachi:
and if she become otanaka nna...na him go complain till she dey depressed.

lol