This one wan go waste money on vigirna people ,shame

Rubbiish:

The bold is very wrong!
If u are living here in the city & paying btw 800k to 3m for house rent, u will know the importance of having a house. Most especially when u have a family. The peace of mind that comes with living in one's own house is incomparable.

That is my own advice to him,don't worry as what u are saying is still in theory,wait until u live in such a house yourself,u will know the difference between theory and practical.

I can see u are always right.

UOBEN:
She has graduated already, but has not served yet. She works in microfinance bank, she also has a baking shop, with 5 girls working for her.

Build your house first. I am concerned a 20yr old is talking about marriage. Please give yourself time as a young man to put things in place. You guys can date for another year or two. Support her by advising her on growing her business, growing career wise and business wise. Get to really know her to understand who she is and if you both can be a couple. Make her understand that you both need to be stable. Stop her from giving you money monthly please.

Do you live together with her? Why is she giving you money? Just tell her as a man you need to make sure you guys have a house to stay before marriage and you are working on it. Marrying early is good but 20? That’s crazy o. Early for me is 25 sef. That’s when the brain becomes mature. Imagine the change in your behavior 20-25 vs 26? Make she work on herself small.

cococandy:
that’s a focused young lady

Very o. But the guy needs to get himself. If he focuses on marriage and blows the money while she becomes more successful, he may get very resentful. She’s obviously smarter than him. Which is not bad but, a man needs to fulfill his own dreams too and get to the point where he can support a family.

I believe he should give it two years of them both working together in achieving shared goals like, career improvement, business improvement, maybe a masters and his building project. Then from there, they can marry!

OP, I thought she was a jobless student. Sorry couldn’t read through the post completely. Hold on to this little madam but give it like 2yrs to also achieve things for yourself. You can give it 6 months to watch her carefully and then engage her formally. Then marriage after another year. By this time you should have sorted a house and businesses.

Year 2-3 years isn’t bad at all. And it will fly by quickly anyway.

baby124:

Very o. But the guy needs to get himself. If he focuses on marriage and blows the money while she becomes more successful, he may get very resentful. She’s obviously smarter than him. Which is not bad but, a man needs to fulfill his own dreams too and get to the point where he can support a family.

I believe he should give it two years of them both working together in achieving shared goals like, career improvement, business improvement, maybe a masters and his building project. Then from there, they can marry!

OP, I thought she was a jobless student. Sorry couldn’t read through the post completely. Hold on to this little madam but give it like 2yrs to also achieve things for yourself. You can give it 6 months to watch her carefully and then engage her formally. Then marriage after another year. By this time you should have sorted a house and businesses.

UOBEN:
Good evening my fellow nairalanders,

Please I would like you all to advise me on the decision I'm about to make, and I will be very brief.

Ever since I graduated from School in 2018, I have been trying my best, and God has been helping me in all that I do. Ever since I was a kid I have never believed that I need to travel overseas to make it in life. I have been able to save up 17 million naira cause I do a lot of hustling to make money, I have been able to purchase two plots of land. I wanted to start my building project by October this year, but my fiancée told me we should get married first and build together. We have been dating for 6 months now, initially, we broke up when I got admission cause she said she could not stand the distance. Late last year she called me that she could not find a man that could make her happy, that she wants us to continue and ever since we started dating she has been supportive, she works in a microfinance bank, she has a baking shop also, every month she gives me 25,000 to support the expenses in the house, she doesn't even know I have such savings I just told her I want to start my building gradually. I'm 26, while she is 20. Should we get married or should I start the project I have in mind. Please I need advice from you all, Thank you.

Abeg make una no mind my use words ooo,,am not perfect and nah my first post be this..

Nigerians and 'land' ehn.

Anyways I would not advise you to build a house until you have been married for 5 to 10 years. You will live in it, and you may not know all you will want in a house until you have lived as a married couple for some time. How many kids and therefore how many rooms? Proper kitchen. Separate bedrooms etc

Get married


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baby124:

Build your house first. I am concerned a 20yr old is talking about marriage. Please give yourself time as a young man to put things in place. You guys can date for another year or two. Support her by advising her on growing her business, growing career wise and business wise. Get to really know her to understand who she is and if you both can be a couple. Make her understand that you both need to be stable. Stop her from giving you money monthly please.

Do you live together with her? Why is she giving you money? Just tell her as a man you need to make sure you guys have a house to stay before marriage and you are working on it. Marrying early is good but 20? That’s crazy o. Early for me is 25 sef. That’s when the brain becomes mature. Imagine the change in your behavior 20-25 vs 26? Make she work on herself small.

What's wrong with a 20yrs talking of marriage, early marriage is the best, his 26yrs, when his 46yrs he done training his kids

baby124:

Build your house first. I am concerned a 20yr old is talking about marriage. Please give yourself time as a young man to put things in place. You guys can date for another year or two. Support her by advising her on growing her business, growing career wise and business wise. Get to really know her to understand who she is and if you both can be a couple. Make her understand that you both need to be stable. Stop her from giving you money monthly please.

Do you live together with her? Why is she giving you money? Just tell her as a man you need to make sure you guys have a house to stay before marriage and you are working on it. Marrying early is good but 20? That’s crazy o. Early for me is 25 sef. That’s when the brain becomes mature. Imagine the change in your behavior 20-25 vs 26? Make she work on herself small.

We don't stay together but she comes and stay may be for a week and then goes back. Her reason for giving me money is that she feels I have hidden financial struggles I will not tell her. I stopped her from giving me money, but instead she will come to the house prepare a list of things we need go to de market and buy them. Last month I broke my hand, so I told her I need a washing machine cause I can not wash my clothes, The next day she bought the machine and brought it home.

UOBEN:
She has graduated already, but has not served yet. She works in microfinance bank, she also has a baking shop, with 5 girls working for her.

OP...
Honestly eh ...
Marriage at this point shouldn't be your priority, not because you're "young", but because I feel you need to make the most of your time now...

Let's be real here....
Marriage is WORK!
Marriage is BILLS!
TM &wedding both cost a lot of money...
And soon after that, the kids starts coming and definitely expenses starts building...

If you have to add all these expenses in addition to house rent which could be in millions depending on your location and type (selfcon, 2bed room et Al) it will be choking in my opinion...

And besides, what if she decides to stop working in the cause of her pregnancy? The entire weight will be on you and as such building your house will slowly and steadily move to the back of your priority list, hope you get the point?

If I were in your shoes, I would build the house first....
From what I can pick from your write up, you seem to be a "hustler" and you're doing really well for yourself...

So in 2years max, those lands would have multiple structures and tenants in them, getting married then, wouldn't be "late", would it?

Well ..
That's just my opinion...
Either ways Sha ..
Just do whatever it is you have in mind...
Good luck...

Thanks a lot

Favfables1:

OP...
Honestly eh ...
Marriage at this point shouldn't be your priority, not because you're "young", but because I feel you need to make the most of your time now...

Let's be real here....
Marriage is WORK!
Marriage is BILLS!
TM &wedding both cost a lot of money...
And soon after that, the kids starts coming and definitely expenses starts building...

If you have to add all these expenses in addition to house rent which could be in millions depending on your location and type (selfcon, 2bed room et Al) it will be choking in my opinion...

And besides, what if she decides to stop working in the cause of her pregnancy? The entire weight will be on you and as such building your house will slowly and steadily move to the back of your priority list, hope you get the point?

If I were in your shoes, I would build the house first....
From what I can pick from your write up, you seem to be a "hustler" and you're doing really well for yourself...

So in 2years max, those lands would have multiple structures and tenants in them, getting married then, wouldn't be "late", would it?

Well ..
That's just my opinion...
Either ways Sha ..
Just do whatever it is you have in mind...
Good luck...

you're 26 and she's 20. you finished school 2018 i.e you were 21-22. and during that time she was 15-16 years. How do you expect me to believe this?

MasonKendall:
you're 26 and she's 20. you finished school 2018 i.e you were 21-22. and during that time she was 15-16 years. How do you expect me to believe this?

Well, it's possible... Many young people are making it big these days.

But then your post drove me to make a comment I wanted to reserve: the OP has been dating the young lady for at least about 7 years, going by the original post.

If that's correct, there's not much point in delaying marriage any longer. Money is what hinders many older from getting married - it's not just about age.

Candidlady:


You better build your house! Marriage can wait! Why are you guys so in a hurry


Zonefree come and chuck mouth for this matter

You want her to become PM news like you?

UOBEN:
Good evening my fellow nairalanders,

Please I would like you all to advise me on the decision I'm about to make, and I will be very brief.

Ever since I graduated from School in 2018, I have been trying my best, and God has been helping me in all that I do. Ever since I was a kid I have never believed that I need to travel overseas to make it in life. I have been able to save up 17 million naira cause I do a lot of hustling to make money, I have been able to purchase two plots of land. I wanted to start my building project by October this year, but my fiancée told me we should get married first and build together. We have been dating for 6 months now, initially, we broke up when I got admission cause she said she could not stand the distance. Late last year she called me that she could not find a man that could make her happy, that she wants us to continue and ever since we started dating she has been supportive, she works in a microfinance bank, she has a baking shop also, every month she gives me 25,000 to support the expenses in the house, she doesn't even know I have such savings I just told her I want to start my building gradually. I'm 26, while she is 20. Should we get married or should I start the project I have in mind. Please I need advice from you all, Thank you.

Abeg make una no mind my use words ooo,,am not perfect and nah my first post be this..

Its obvious you aren't ready for marriage. For you to come here and ask means you aren't sure. Indecisive and unsure. If i were you, the house project should be suspended for now. Focus on multiplying your money. A house ties money down. Invest more in your business, rent a house, if you are sure, get married and build your house in some few years time.