AntiMen:
Let me begin with your last question...Yes I am ..

To be demisexual or sapiosexual is both good and bad. It is good because it discourages sex with random people. It is bad because not every intelligent close friend will reciprocate the feeling properly and you are not supposed to have sexual intercourse with every intelligent close friend.

But every human has one habit or the other to battle with. May God help you overcome the temptation.

immortalcrown:

To be demisexual or sapiosexual is both good and bad. It is good because it discourages sex with random people. It is bad because not every intelligent close friend will reciprocate the feeling properly and you are not supposed to have sexual intercourse with every intelligent close friend.

But every human has one habit or the other to battle with. May God help you overcome the temptation.

Amen.

With weird stories like this, I get really scared of marriage. People don't even know what they actually want, especially women.

May God protect me from fraud and prank all in the name of marriage. Amen.

Antimen. You married one and planning to bleep another.

AntiMen:


I don't think it's a wise thing to do..
He's human and not spirit o.

it's the wisest thing to do instead of getting involved in a scandal. If you married your friend, he should know you better and be mature enough to handle it.

Nicepoker:
Antimen. You married one and planning to bleep another.

Mumu, sorry I couldn't resist the urge to say that to you...go re read and fucking get an understanding before commenting..

Mind you I won't see your quote if you tend to reply me

AntiMen:


Sincerely I want to, but I hope he won't look at me some type of way each time I go to church?

nope, he'll understand you and respect your decision.

AntiMen:


Let me begin with your last question...Yes I am ..

Then about having intimate conversations with him, actually I don't.

Maybe I should tell you how this started, I've stated it before but I will again, He expects me to have attained a level of spirituality which I'm not interested in, so whenever he sees me in church he would remind me to come for activities that would aid my spiritual life but I ain't interested in all that shit, seeing that I didn't bulge, each time I'm in church , whether I'm close or far away from him, he always ensure he calls my name or greets me, I could be having conversations with two of my friends,he will call only my name and pass to show he's greeting me ..Sometimes I feel embarrassed for my friends cos I believe he's supposed to greet all of us and not just me...
So because of these actions I began to grow fond of him...I won't lie sometimes I steal glances at him in church and our eyes meet, but I always shrug it off..

I don't really discuss anything confidential with him, and our talks have always been in the front of others...there's nothing more to all of that asides the unusual feeling I'm having...

Recently, we had a chat about an issue that concerns someone else in church and I gave my opinion about the matter, after our conversation ,we said the usual good nights and I want to use the normal hands emoticon to indicate goodnight, mistakenly (God's my witness) I pressed the lips emoticon after goodnight, it was so embarrasing.
But I left it that way cos it was a mistake and never ever intentional.

The reverend is hitting on you big time

Evil woman

AntiMen:
I'm married with two beautiful children..
I love my husband no doubt....
But I noticed that I'm beginning to like my reverend, I don't know how to explain this...
He is married with children too but we are kinda fond of each other...
How do I stop this unusual feeling , I can't stop going to church cos my husband would be mad at me.

Good morning Ma'am, I would have loved to give you my advice base on experience but I don't go to church yet this I know


We meet people everyday that we get fond of, It doesn't mean we must see what's between their legs.. If you love your family as much you claim to do, take this as one of those feelings that will always stay hidden

Continue oloshoing until your husband's eyes clear and he orders DNA test on your two children. Mtchew

Oh

Ink4Hope:


Good morning Ma'am, I would have loved to give you my advice base on experience but I don't go to church yet this I know


We meet people everyday that we get fond of, It doesn't mean we must see what's between their legs.. If you love your family as much you claim to do, take this as one of those feelings that will always stay hidden

Alright bro!!!
Thanks

Gogiba:


The reverend is hitting on you big time

Hmmmm

Blunttruth:
it's the wisest thing to do instead of getting involved in a scandal. If you married your friend, he should know you better and be mature enough to handle it.

Alright let's assume you were my husband and I tell you this, what would be your reaction, what would you advice me to do?

I've done something similar to him, I'm this who used to be blunt and very opened , especially when it comes to having discussions with my husband but based on his reactions to things, you'll know some things are better left unsaid..

But trust me, I can never have a scandal with him...
My own body is my pride , I don't know about others ooo, but I carry mine with dignity....

AntiMen:


Alright let's assume you were my husband and I tell you this, what would be your reaction, what would you advice me to do?

I've done something similar to him, I'm this who used to be blunt and very opened , especially when it comes to having discussions with my husband but based on his reactions to things, you'll know some things are better left unsaid..

But trust me, I can never have a scandal with him...
My own body is my pride , I don't know about others ooo, but I carry mine with dignity....

dont tell him....he might not understand

[s]

minexpo:

Mumu, sorry I couldn't resist the urge to say that to you...go re read and fucking get an understanding before commenting..

Mind you I won't see your quote if you tend to reply me

[/s]

VOsimhen144:
You're married with kids and you claim you still love your husband But yet you're crushing, liking and developing feelings for another man. Nawa oo!

This is the main reason why most guys don't take Nigerian women serious.

I do come across some foolish articles on nairaland like "How to make a woman love and respect you" "How to make a woman stay with you till eternity" "How to make a woman do this... How to make a woman do that... Blah blah blah" the funny thing is, SIMPs will even be saying "nice one op".

Lol, seriously I go just dey laugh and dey look them like mgbeke.

Oga, if you like give Nigerian women the whole world, If you like chase everybody away to planet Mars and give her the whole earth. She would still cheat on you to go collect better preek in planet Mars.

Dear Men, don't ever take Nigerian women serious Please. Avoid Nigeria women like a plague.

Meanwhile.. Adeleke ifeanyi be like Madam carry your mouth go one side... abeg.

Bro you're a legend.. One odogwu bitters for you.
You cracked me up...

AntiMen:

Thanks for telling me the blunt truth, but my husband holds key position in the church, there's no reason I give that would be meaningful to him except I become opened about the issue...Actually I didn't get close to him, but he ( Reverend) seems to be interested in my spiritual life, often times he wants me do certain church activities which I usually dodge, since then each time he sees me in church, he doesn't fail to call my name, if I'm seated amongst my friends, he will call me, greet me and pass, every time , since then I began to have this funny feeling for him...

It's not that serious though but it's becoming intense unlike before.

Madam, not that Rev interested in ur spiritual activities as u ignorantly believed, but wishes to been seeing you regularly because of passion of feelings burning inside him, I will advice you to " partially" open up to ur husband and let two of you deliberate upon it, pls endeavor not to tell him you have started liking him o.

If you can't change church and still refuse to open to ur husband, your journey to ride him is 2/3 achieved already.

AntiMen:
I'm married with two beautiful children..
I love my husband no doubt....
But I noticed that I'm beginning to like my reverend, I don't know how to explain this...
He is married with children too but we are kinda fond of each other...
How do I stop this unusual feeling , I can't stop going to church cos my husband would be mad at me.

First to realize is that everything you sexually desire someone you are not married to, you commit the sin of adultery against God - Matthew 5 vs 27 - 28 - and this applies whether the individual is right in front of you regularly, occasionally, only occasionally or you don't even have any rapport whatsoever with individual. So those advising you that by avoiding the man you prevent the sin lie to you.

If you indeed want to stop sinning against God, this jn addition to quiting your addiction to the churches of men , their pastors and mogs, you also need to embark on training your mind to obey God as opposed to engaging in sexual lust. Mental maturity aka self-control is the only way to liberate your mental from such sins and the only way is through emotional and mental discpline, which entails training your mind away from the sin and towards obedience.

Kobojunkie:
First to realize is that everything you sexually desire someone you are not married to, you commit the sin of adultery against God - Matthew 5 vs 27 - 28 - and this applies whether the individual is right in front of you regularly, occasionally, only occasionally or you don't even have any rapport whatsoever with individual. So those advising you that by avoiding the man you prevent the sin lie to you.

If you indeed want to stop sinning against God, this jn addition to quiting your addiction to the churches of men , their pastors and mogs, you also need to embark on training your mind to obey God as opposed to engaging in sexual lust. Mental maturity aka self-control is the only way to liberate your mental from such sins and the only way is through emotional and mental discpline, which entails training your mind away from the sin and towards obedience.

Nice response, but can you please highlight how to mentally and emotionally train my mind in that regard....

I don't picture this man and I sleeping with ourselves..I just grew fond of him simply because of the way he recognises me in the presence of people, somebody adviced me that I talk to him to stay away from him prolly that will help my feelings a bit, but I have to be careful because this man may not feel same way about me and he might start having a negative view about me...

But I'm trying to take my mind off him though...God help me.

AntiMen:
Nice response, but can you please highlight how to mentally and emotionally train my mind in that regard....

I don't picture this man and I sleeping with ourselves..I just grew fond of him simply because of the way he recognises me in the presence of people, somebody adviced me that I talk to him to stay away from him prolly that will help my feelings a bit, but I have to be careful because this man may not feel same way about me and he might start having a negative view about me...

But I'm trying to take my mind off him though...God help me.

There are many possible reasons for what is the infatuation you have towards this man, and so you would have to dig deep into your psyche to really understand why your brain emits these "love" chemicals in his case.

Anyways, to train your mind so you can ignore these irrational signals your brain sometimes sends you, you first need to have a base idea of what mental discipline is and what it is not.

Mental discipline refers to how disciplined you are to consistently engage in the kind of mental practices that get you what you want. If you want to become a more relaxed person, you need to train yourself to do so. Once you have become a more relaxed person, you have to continue to practice the same rituals or techniques. It is the equivalent of physical exercise. The difference between the two is that often we can put the blame for us not being in a good state down to our circumstances whereas with our physical health, fitness or shape, we pretty much understand that it is dependent on how we eat and how much we exercise.

Just like physical exercise, we can look at two aspects of our mental discipline: what we put in and what we do (or think). If you read the news and watch countless television shows of how people are evil and dangerous then it’s reasonable that you will start to feel less trusting of others. If you read positive thinking books and listen to motivational podcasts, it’s reasonable that you will have a positive, ‘can-do’ mentality....
Mental discipline isn’t about motivating yourself excitedly once a month about what you hope to do. It is about making a daily, committed decision as to what you are going to pay attention to and how you are going to think. It is a committed effort to keep using what you learn to maintain a healthy attitude and build the kind of emotions that serve you well.

https://owenfitzpatrick.com/blog/key-mental-discipline/#:~:text=Mental%20discipline%20refers%20to%20how,train%20yourself%20to%20do%20so

Like dieting, the key is practice. Matthew 5 vs 27 - 28 says lust is sin. Using this information, you can train your heart to refuse all lust by focusing on redirecting your thoughts to that which pleases God and away from sin when you sense lust in your heart. This takes consistent practice and continuous submission and obedience of the teachings of Jesus Christ in order to achieve. Once you begin to value God over that sin, you will find, over time, it will become easier to sense the lustful feelings approaching and to deflect from them. Eventually, you will reach a point where the approach of such lust causes you irritation as you find you would rather not offend God with it for any reason.

Fiscus105:



Madam, not that ur rev interested in ur spiritual activities as u ignorantly believe, but wishes to been seeing you regularly because of passion of feelings burning inside him, I will advice you to open to ur husband and let two of you deliberate on it, though you shouldn't tell him you have started liking him o.

If you can change church and u dnt want to open to ur husband, your journey to ride him is 2/3 achieved already

I wish you could understand the situation of things around me..
I've said it before that my husband can't leave the church because of the key position he holds in here, also the issue that my pastor and I will end up sleeping with ourselves is a fallacy, I can't bring myself to doing that shit...I will never hurt my family nor his..

I only need ways to quench this feeling ,I'm having....

Someone adviced that I speak with the reverend to stay away from me, like how would I bring myself to telling him that I'm listing after him so therefore he should stay away, what if the feeling isn't mutual, wouldn't be feel some type of way about me?

[quote author=AntiMen post=111761224]

I wish you could understand the situation of things around me..
I've said it before that my husband can't leave the church because of the key position he holds in here, also the issue that my pastor and I will end up sleeping with ourselves is a fallacy, I can't bring myself to doing that shit...I will never hurt my family nor his..



I laugh in french, u confirmed you have feelings that still battling to quench till this hour.

Your husband cannot leave church? , I guess church is paying him salary.


U see passion for opposite sex is something that extreme difficult to quench most especially if you dnt open up to those who are really concerned.

You will just wake up and find urself enmesh in dirty act. Thank God u said you are a worker, go and read about David son and how he defiled his sister, make sure you read it completely to see the outcomes most especially immediately after sex, even after sex.

Bye

[quote author=Fiscus105 post=111762050][/quote]
I think I've figured out how to go about this.

Instead of telling my hubby, I think I might just speak with the pastor directly ,telling him how some of the members of my group have been saying how much he likes me..Maybe that will help him stay away so as not to be seen in bad light by others, or what do you think?

Kobojunkie:
There are many possible reasons for what is the infatuation you have towards this man, and so you would have to dig deep into your psyche to really understand why your brain emits these "love" chemicals in his case.

Anyways, to train your mind so you can ignore these irrational signals your brain sometimes sends you, you first need to have a base idea of what mental discipline is and what it is not.


Like dieting, the key is practice. Matthew 5 vs 27 - 28 says lust is sin. Using this information, you can train your heart to refuse all lust by focusing on redirecting your thoughts to that which pleases God and away from sin when you sense lust in your heart. This takes consistent practice and continuous submission and obedience of the teachings of Jesus Christ in order to achieve. Once you begin to value God over that sin, you will find, over time, it will become easier to sense the lustful feelings approaching and to deflect from them. Eventually, you will reach a point where the approach of such lust causes you irritation as you find you would rather not offend God with it for any reason.

The reasons are not farfetched,right from the time he was posted to the church, I liked him at first sight, He's quite handsome, he handles issues maturedly, speaks coherently, he's from my hometown, more importantly that he notices and calls me amongst my group members.

As regards mental discipline, I'll begin to do some research on that...

Thanks for your input sir.

AntiMen:

I think I've figured out how to go about this.

Instead of telling my hubby, I think I might just speak with the pastor directly ,telling him how some of the members of my group have been saying how much he likes me..Maybe that will help him stay away so as not to be seen in bad light by others, or what do you think?

Text him instead, how much people are telling you, his actions towards you ,(not liking u) and that ur husband has been angry about it.

That's enough signal for him, dnt go to him personally pls.

If you go physically, it may be avenue for two of u to melt finally, you may not able to frown at him to scare him away since you too crushing, if you are smiling wen telling him ur mind, he may use the avenue to twist your brain, allay ur fear, promise you heaven and earth, with twinkle of eye! Pant will drop in ur ass.

Fuvk your rev mad mad , then the feelings will die down

Fiscus105:



Text him instead, how much people are telling you, his actions towards you ,(not liking u) and that ur husband has been angry about it.

That's enough signal for him, dnt go to him personally pls.

If you go physically, it may be avenue for two of u to melt finally, you may not able to frown at him to scare him away since you too crushing, if you are smiling wen telling him ur mind, he may use the avenue to twist your brain, allay ur fear, promise you heaven and earth, with twinkle of eye! Pant will drop in ur ass.

But could it be that I might be wrong about him crushing on me given all his actions towards me?

For me to text him, then I have to be very sure he feels something for me....

If he doesn't , it will make me feel stupid at the end...

[sub][/sub]

fikayormi:
Fuvk your rev mad mad , then the feelings will die down

My body is my dignity and pride, I got married a virgin, so not fornicating and commiting adultery was and is very effortless for me...

I have one very mad ego about this body....So I know what I mean when I say I can't get down with him..

I'm just having butterflies in my belly about this man and I'm just looking for ways to stop the nonsense......

AntiMen:


But could it be that I might be wrong about him crushing on me given all his actions towards me?

For me to text him, then I have to be very sure he feels something for me....

If he doesn't , it will make me feel stupid at the end...

Are not the one who said you wish to discuss with him physically?

I asked u to tell ur husband u said no but pastor

AntiMen:
[sub][/sub]

My body is my dignity and pride, I got married a virgin, so not fornicating and commiting adultery was and is very effortless for me...

I have one very mad ego about this body....So I know what I mean when I say I can't get down with him..

I'm just having butterflies in my belly about this man and I'm just looking for ways to stop the nonsense......

But with your moniker Antimen, you are not supposed to get married talkless of having feelings for your rev. How come ? You must be one crazy hypocrite