I just laugh at the comments here. Well, it actually shows that people do not know the value of family in this part of this world. I guess that is why almost everybody looks miserable.

Calibrator:
I said what I said.


This mentality is always fronted by the less privileged and entitled peeps in every family.


If you are doing well for yourself, life na per head. Nobody should leech on another.



Face your immediate family and let communication amongst siblings be strictly about courtesy not billings as if the elder bro is in charge of the family trust fund


As the first son of the family who is forging ahead without any past or present assistance, just sheer individual willpower, I know first hand how people like OP reason, I also followed the initial thread page to page that year.


Nonsense and entitlement!

You are very wrong if that's how your family functions, don't use it as a model for other well trained and well cultured families, instead pray for God to heal your family and bring back love.


In my own family, we are 8, I am the last child and believe me, all are well to do and happily married yet we relate with one another with love. Even those outside the country, we crack jokes on our family whatsapp group and call each other once in a while. Mind you, none of us is begging, in fact all of us are heavy weights.


This thing mostly depends on parental upbringing, how parents raise their kids matters, we were raised with the mindset that an injury to one is an injury to all and a win for one is a win for all, and this principle have kept us together for decades despite our individual successes.


Cristiano Ronaldo and his brothers still forge ahead like teens. Lionel Messi same.



The Bush family are forever united in love despite their individual successes and despite having one of them as a former US President.


Goodluck Jonathan raised his brother before he succumbed to death.


Buhari's kitchen cabinet and cabal controlling Nigeria are his family members, they are so powerful that they even chased his wife Aisha to Dubai lol.


And it was that his family that stood by him when he was forgotten affer he was ousted as Head of State via coup in the 80s. It was his family that stood by him till he became President again in 2015. So you need family love and unity. Linda Ikeja a lady single handedly lifted all her siblings from poverty without complaining that they are depending so much on her like many would have. Family is everything brother.


Bola Tinubu have also lifted all his immediate family. He uses his power to install them as Governors or give them mouthwatering political posts or appointments. Why do you think his urchins can kill for him? He gives them crumbs that keep them alive lol.


Please while raising your own kids, teach them to love one another and to take ones pain as everybody's pain and ones success as everybody's success, this helps to bond them together even when they become married adults with separate families.



I forgot to tell you that one of my greatest joy in life is helping my extended family members since my immediate family are okay.


Helping people gives me extraordinary joy and fulfillment and that's why I pray and work harder everyday to have more money so that my assistance can become nationwide and not just limited to my family and community.



And I pray that soon, my pet project for Nigeria will become a reality that you and others will read about on national media and dailies. so bro be glad that you have to give cos being financially broke can be depressing, don't mock those still struggling to stand because it is not always their fault, some are smarter, wiser, and work harder than you and I.

At certain point in life as a man, you will lose close contact with your family o . Only my sisters call me time to time , you see my brothers , if dem call you just know that something probably happens but their wives do call me and I return their calls too.

And we are cool with it, situation of naija no give room for 247 calling jare . and tbh , I love it like that . I no like plenty calls , sometimes if I call them self, if we don talk small , them go be like I’ll call back and vice Versa if I’m busy too. Na woman Dey complain say u no call joor.

Calibrator:
Entitlement attitude is a progress blocker..... Doubt if you will notice your brother's cold shoulder if you are doing well yourself.


I don't blame him for cutting off dead weights.

Family is the only one that will stand by you in crisis at least 80%. You see all those neighbours, friends and lovers many of them, if not all will flee when you have issue. Family have no where to push you to.
Besides if you are not giving your family you are definitely giving others in your environment except you are a total miser. So what's the difference?

I'm speaking of a good family anyways.

Mariangeles:


Dude! Not everything is about money, as money cannot solve everything.
Of what value is what you have if nobody wants them from you?

Believe it or not, siblings are obligated to one another.
You're responsible for me as much as I am responsible for you.
No man is an island.

As much as we humans need ourselves, Its not mandatory for your siblings to care for your each and every need. The only people that you are under obligation to support assist and care for, are your PARENTS. That said, its advisable to have a close bond with your siblings because when push comes to shove and the whole world has abandoned you, your siblings are more likely to stick with you.

Some Statements here say a lot about how many dysfunctional homes we have in Nigeria.

If you have got money and stability and you think family bond doesn't matter...you have a problem.

Unionism brings about advancement even in community, talk more of family... Tomorrow you encounter problem that you don't have access to that your wealth...you will require a bro/sis to do the runarounds.

Some innocent persons are in jail even with their money...na family dey the outside walls dey run around to secure their freedom.

Many are kidnapped even with their money, na family member go pay ransom to secure their freedom.

Family bond matters...money can't do a lot for you. Onye nwe mmadu kariri onye nwere ego (Igwebuike).

People who don't have known relative (family), try to create one (even a superficial one)...There is reason why!

Family is important,money or no money.
Always keep in contact with ur siblings.

franchasofficia:
You are very wrong if that's how your family functions, don't use it as a model for other well trained and well cultured families, instead pray for God to heal your family and bring back love.


In my own family, we are 8, I am the last child and believe me, all are well to do and happily mattied yet we relate with other with love. Even those outside the country, we crack jokes on our family whatsapp group and call each other once in a while. Mind you, none of us is begging, in fact all of us are heavy weights.


This thing mostly depends on parental upbringing, how parents raise their kids matters, we were raised with the mindset that an injury to one is an injury to all and a win for one is a win for all, and this principle have kept us together for decades despite our individual successes.


Cristiano Ronaldo and his brothers still forge ahead like teens. Lionel Messi same.



The Bush family are forever united in love despite their individual successes and despite having one of them as a former US President.


Please while raising your own kids, teach them to love one another and to take ones pain as everybody's pain and ones success as everybody's success, this helps to bond them together even when they become married adults with separate families.



I forgot to tell you that one of my greatest joy in life is helping my extended family members since my immediate family are okay.


Helping people gives me extraordinary joy and fulfillment and that's why I pray and work harder everyday to have more money so that my assistance can become nationwide and not just limited to my family and community.



And I pray that soon, my pet project for Nigeria will become a reality that you and others will read about on national media and dailies. so bro be glad that you have to give cos being financially broke can be depressing, don't mock those still struggling to stand because it is not always their fault, some are smarter, wiser, and work harder than you and I.

Hello, so sorry to barge in.
If you go through OPs post, you'd see that the family was close, then they had issues along the way. OP even stated that the second child was very close to the first and not the other siblings. OP stated also that along the way, something happened and the relationship became sour. OP also suggested that his brother didn't feel comfy giving him money in front of his wife. Recall, he also said that he eats outside; even though he didn't mind.
Truth is, those who have families that care and show love are indeed lucky. However, this isn't the reality for others. Someone mentioned here that you need to lean on the successful to become successful and praised Ms Ikeji for that.
This is a really nice topic for most people that aren't as lucky as you and your siblings.
It could engineer a relationship rethink on so many fronts.
Cheers.

franchasofficia:
You are very wrong if that's how your family functions, don't use it as a model for other well trained and well cultured families, instead pray for God to heal your family and bring back love.


In my own family, we are 8, I am the last child and believe me, all are well to do and happily mattied yet we relate with other with love. Even those outside the country, we crack jokes on our family whatsapp group and call each other once in a while. Mind you, none of us is begging, in fact all of us are heavy weights.


This thing mostly depends on parental upbringing, how parents raise their kids matters, we were raised with the mindset that an injury to one is an injury to all and a win for one is a win for all, and this principle have kept us together for decades despite our individual successes.


Cristiano Ronaldo and his brothers still forge ahead like teens. Lionel Messi same.



The Bush family are forever united in love despite their individual successes and despite having one of them as a former US President.


Please while raising your own kids, teach them to love one another and to take ones pain as everybody's pain and ones success as everybody's success, this helps to bond them together even when they become married adults with separate families.



I forgot to tell you that one of my greatest joy in life is helping my extended family members since my immediate family are okay.


Helping people gives me extraordinary joy and fulfillment and that's why I pray and work harder everyday to have more money so that my assistance can become nationwide and not just limited to my family and community.



And I pray that soon, my pet project for Nigeria will become a reality that you and others will read about on national media and dailies. so bro be glad that you have to give cos being financially broke can be depressing, don't mock those still struggling to stand because it is not always their fault, some are smarter, wiser, and work harder than you and I.

Let's loves leads.

Calibrator:
Entitlement attitude is a progress blocker..... Doubt if you will notice your brother's cold shoulder if you are doing well yourself.

I don't blame him for cutting off dead weights.

They may not be deadweights o. Like the OP said, money is not everything. After my first degree, I can't remember ever worrying about where my next meal will come from. I think that describes a basic level of comfort. However, I have people in my life that break my heart steady when I see or remember their attitude to me and the rest of the family. I'm heartbroken when I remember how we grew up versus how they have kept their distance from the rest of us even though I don't need anything from them or at least I don't need any money from them.

Some people just have problems with family either because they are being manipulated by someone else, some hidden personal problems or for reasons we can't explain.

" he has even joined our family WhatsApp group" lmao
I don't know why,but this sounds funny.
I heard a few families do this.
Oh well...

All thanks be to God .let me remind you nobody but God doing give thanks to God not anybody here on nairaland .

Dailyparrot:
It depends on what you want from your brother. I believe we can love from afar.

I don't call my brothers and they don't call me and we're cool with that.

Anytime I ever see their calls coming in, I already knew that something has happened. But we're not enemies. We just want to mind each other's business.

You guys obviously didn't have a bond growing up.It's cool for you as it is but obviously something was missing growing up.

You people are all talking about your families...Some of us don't even have any family members we keep in touch with or those who keep in touch with us. I always feel happy for other people when they speak of how their families are close-knit, how if one has an issue, then it becomes the whole family's issue to be solved. They gist, play, and so on. I don't have that, nor did I ever have that. It's only my mum who I hear from.
This prooves what the word of God says, that even your mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters will give you up to be tried, will fail you, will turn their backs at you. Because, they are humans. It's only God and his Son who won't forsake you.
It's good that OP's family is now united.

nikola:


Hello, so sorry to barge in.
If you go through OPs post, you'd see that the family was close, then they had issues along the way. OP even stated that the second child was very close to the first and not the other siblings. OP stated also that along the way, something happened and the relationship became sour. OP also suggested that his brother didn't feel comfy giving him money in front of his wife. Recall, he also said that he eats outside; even though he didn't mind.
Truth is, those who have families that care and show love are indeed lucky. However, this isn't the reality for others. Someone mentioned here that you need to lean on the successful to become successful and praised Ms Ikeji for that.
This is a really nice topic for most people that aren't as lucky as you and your siblings.
It could engineer a relationship rethink on so many fronts.
Cheers.

God bless you for mentioning Linda Ikeji family. Linda Ikeji single handedly raised her siblings and lifted them all from poverty, something many wouldn't do but rather cite how they suffered to make it and why others must suffer to make theirs.



Such mindset is evil and inhumane cos we all are not gifted with same capabilities in life, and that is why the successful must assist the struggling ones among them to stand.


I am glad the Op's family are better off now.

It breaks my heart to hear or read about people struggling with life while their siblings or close family member is living in affluent, it always gives me goosebumps

Calibrator:
Entitlement attitude is a progress blocker..... Doubt if you will notice your brother's cold shoulder if you are doing well yourself.


I don't blame him for cutting off dead weights.

did u just call ur own family a dead weight?

Calibrator:
I said what I said.


This mentality is always fronted by the less privileged and entitled peeps in every family.


If you are doing well for yourself, life na per head. Nobody should leech on another.



Face your immediate family and let communication amongst siblings be strictly about courtesy not billings as if the elder bro is in charge of the family trust fund


As the first son of the family who is forging ahead without any past or present assistance, just sheer individual willpower, I know first hand how people like OP reason, I also followed the initial thread page to page that year.


Nonsense and entitlement!

people like u Na dey carry girlfriend matter for head but no dey gree help family

johnmba:


one day your money will disappoint you.

Many people who scream "entitlement" don't know this.

Money isn't and cannot do everything. One day money will disappoint everyone.

Why will people shout entitlement?
Yes the elder brother owes his younger siblings some form of help or assistance. That is not entitlement, that is being responsible.
Imagine I have an elder brother who was trained in school or craft by our parents and afterwards, he absconds and forgets his siblings. I will personally go to his house and break his doors and if need be, threaten him with gun and make him pay for everything our parents spent on him.
An elder bro, owes his younger ones some care, same with other siblings. If you are trained, you have to assist to train others. That is how the family will grow.

My Family has a WhatsApp group, we take vital decisions there...As a matter of fact, we all travelled down the last Mothering Sunday to be with Mum.

Like my both parents would say...if you are in manfe and only think money is what they need...you are wrong!
My both parents want us to be around them...it gives them this sense of belonging more than money...the aged enjoys the warmth of their children around.
To keep that bond...my five league of gentlemen still keep that bond inasmuch as we ain't dependent on each other...we also rally to help each other solve some pressing needs... that's family bond.

Mum will always pray, any daughter in-law that would sever bonds between us...let her not come to her house.

Calibrator:
Entitlement attitude is a progress blocker..... Doubt if you will notice your brother's cold shoulder if you are doing well yourself.


I don't blame him for cutting off dead weights.

it depends on ur upbringing

If u think helping ur siblings make them entitled ,there is absolutely something wrong with u

You share a bond with them (one u were born with) that cannot be broken even after death

They are the very first group of people who could likely donate an organ for u

You got fragments of same DNA

With exception of ur children ,these are the other people u should die for

Am very disappointed with u

Dailyparrot:


Are you insinuating that my family is not blessed because we don't call each other?

I talk with my sisters everytime. Besides, I am the kind of person that don't like disturbance, reason I don't keep friends.

I'm very comfortable as we love each other from the comfort of our homes. As far as no one is in distress, that's all that matters.

Calling to check up on people is just formality. I don't value it.

See the way you are contradicting your self. The true is you are coming from a family that are not bounded. Most of you are bittered in the Family Especially you. I don't know how much time we spending on earth that I won't try to create time for my family. If I don't call my siblings who I wan call again? Strangers? Una just dey impossible in this forum... I call my brothers and sisters to check on them.. and they reciprocate. We share our feelings together seeks for advice and lots more. We gather together every 6 months just to celebrate "Family" And we will continue to do this till we depart this World. You And your family should keep wasting away forming minding my bussiness. It is when one of you dies una go regret am.. and wished you had spent much time with each other. Bitter souls.

franchasofficia:
God bless you for mentioning Linda Ikeji family. Linda Ikeji single handedly raised her siblings and lifted them all from poverty, something many wouldn't do but rather cite how they suffered to make it and why others must suffer to make theirs.



Such mindset is evil and inhumane cos we all are not gifted with same capabilities in life, and that is why the successful must assist the struggling ones among them to stand.


I am glad the Op's family are better off now.

It breaks my heart to hear or read about people struggling with life while their siblings or close family member is living in affluent, it always gives me goosebumps

Beautiful read. God bless you.

Karleb:
Everything is no about money but money also matters tho.

Don't be ashamed to admit that.

Money matters a lot to those that don't have it. We all need money but there are far more important things in life than money. Money is seen as a god here simply because of the perversive poverty. Many don't have it. Most of the people that acquired it grew through extreme poverty, want and deprivation. It's therefore the most important thing to a significant proportion of the population. But that is wrong. We should work hard to earn a living but we should focus more on humanity. That's the only thing that could guarantee our survival and that of our coming generations..

Cashio:
Why will people shout entitlement?
Yes the elder brother owes his younger siblings some form of help or assistance. That is not entitlement, that is being responsible.
Imagine I have an elder brother who was trained in school or craft by our parents and afterwards, he absconds and forgets his siblings. I will personally go to his house and break his doors and if need be, threaten him with gun and make him pay for everything our parents spent on him.
An elder bro, owes his younger ones some care, same with other siblings. If you are trained, you have to assist to train others. That is how the family will grow.

Hey friend... That is wrong mentality, you were cared for at the same time with your elder brother... This is an entitlement mentality so many remarked about here.
To think your elder brother received special treatment is wrong; Mum would always talk about how Siblings that came after, came when they were well-off and received better care. You don't overload your senior brothers. Even the young can help the old.

Just pray for your Elder siblings to be sacrificial... First sons are always object of sacrifice.

I remember how I always was given to my siblings... My immediate younger one after graduating from school and breaking forth took vehicle as his first project, even when I have worked for years without boasting of a bicycle because of family education project and other projects in the family I was undertaken. That is the mentality most you young ones have...you think the elder ones don't want to enjoy life.
Always pray your elder one be sacrificial...most of you younger ones are selfish!
I as the first son believe family is everything...and that my purpose in life is to live for others. It might not be others purpose.

Calibrator:
I said what I said.


This mentality is always fronted by the less privileged and entitled peeps in every family.


If you are doing well for yourself, life na per head. Nobody should leech on another.



Face your immediate family and let communication amongst siblings be strictly about courtesy not billings as if the elder bro is in charge of the family trust fund


As the first son of the family who is forging ahead without any past or present assistance, just sheer individual willpower, I know first hand how people like OP reason, I also followed the initial thread page to page that year.


Nonsense and entitlement!

No mind the guy. He's probably expecting his elder bro to come shoulder all his responsibilities like he's born to leech him.

Blame the parents of these kind of siblings though. Na dem dey set up this yeye mentality.

May God continue to bless your family
May the love of God be with you all
Your family will not see shame �

vikstandon:



Hey friend... That is wrong mentality, you were cared for at the same time with your elder brother... This is an entitlement mentality so many remarked about here.
To think your elder brother received special treatment is wrong; Mum would always talk about how Siblings that came after, came when they were well-off and received better care. You don't overload your senior brothers. Even the young can help the old.

Just pray for your Elder siblings to be sacrificial... First sons are always object of sacrifice.

I remember how I always was given to my siblings... My immediate younger one after graduating from school and breaking forth took vehicle as his first project, even when I have worked for years without boasting of a bicycle because of family education project and other projects in the family I was undertaken. That is the mentality most you young ones have...you think the elder ones don't want to enjoy life.
Always pray your elder one be sacrificial...most of you younger ones are selfish!
I as the first son believe family is everything...and that my purpose in life is to live for others. It might not be others purpose.

Bro, I know what I am saying. I am actually the last boy, me elder siblings are not financially strong and I contribute more to the family than them because I earn better than they do.
I never felt entitled to anyone's money because I understood what it meant to have mine at a very younger age. I sponsored more than 80% of my higher education through bricklaying and designs I did.
What I am saying is this. An elder sibling who is well off financially is mandated to assist his younger ones. Not like it is a must, but it is just the right thing to do, Just as parents are mandated to take care if their children.
If I train my child and he gets so useless as to forget his family, I will hunt him down and make him repay all I spent in his training before I disown him with a curse that his kids will do same to him. So after giving you the best education, you now leave home and abandon everyone. Na mumu dey worry the bastard.

JohnnA1:
I remember that first thread... if I had access to your big brother, I'll tell him to be wary of you people (his family).
And a man's enemies shall be they of his own household...

I tell you

Calibrator:
Entitlement attitude is a progress blocker..... Doubt if you will notice your brother's cold shoulder if you are doing well yourself.


I don't blame him for cutting off dead weights.

See what is coming out of a full grown adult.

Nectarbaba:
I just laugh at the comments here. Well, it actually shows that people do not know the value of family in this part of this world. I guess that is why almost everybody looks miserable.

Lols. The reason my uncle and his wife actually looked miserable is because of his siblings and her siblings. Those guys have sucked them dry both financially and emotionally. They are the the ones that are the first to receive any bad news from all 7 siblings combined. News of death, hospital, accident, burglary, police case.
When it is good news like new job or car, they will hide it from them. The only time that they will quickly share the good news is if it is childbirth especially if the new baby and mother for example will need money to pay hospital bill or if it is admission into university because, they know that he will pay school fees.
Enjoy your family, BUT PLEASE, don't give me sermons on how to handle mine.