ImaIma1:


Unfortunately, your example does not hold water because as you stated "my head no too correct for woman matter". That means you are biased and prejudiced when it has to do with women. And you don't have the ability to make objective conversation and arguments. That has shown in your comments so far.

Just look at how you described the guy as "cool and gentle" "spoke politely". You can't even hide your bias.

Your head no correct for woman matter and you are here trying to make sense. It's obvious you are a redpiller. People that hate women for a living.

If after reading through d cited example and u couldn't comprehend how DV is being caused by women, we'll I am not shock at all bcs women are same in different packages

ImaIma1:


Unfortunately, your example does not hold water because as you stated "my head no too correct for woman matter". That means you are biased and prejudiced when it has to do with women. And you don't have the ability to make objective conversation and arguments. That has shown in your comments so far.

Just look at how you described the guy as "cool and gentle" "spoke politely". You can't even hide your bias.

Your head no correct for woman matter and you are here trying to make sense. It's obvious you are a redpiller. People that hate women for a living.

I am one but I don't hate women. So your claim is ridiculous.

That dude gave you an example but you didn't analyse it, rather you deflected it and said he is not logical? Why not analyse the example and come back at him with your results? That dude has not been abusive for far. That and the OP have my respect so far, on being logical.

DV is not just about physical assault. There is emotional,mental and psychological aspects and that's where women rule. Tackle all forms of DV and you will have my support.

N.B: I had an experience with a wild horse. A girl who grabs a knife any time we have a disagreement about her drinking habits. One day, she rose up as usual and came at me with it, I defended myself and gave her three hot slaps, yanked the knife from her hand and held it to her throat. She started crying blah blah blah and went to sleep straight and even snored. If I hadn't defended myself and she stabbed me, she would have said I raped her or some shiit.

I tossed her out the next day. She still sees me as an OG till this day. The respect never dwindled.
It was two weeks later that I learned she actually stabbed her last ex (she told me a different story).

Daradared2:
9ce one op!

may God give us the wisdom to train our kids the way its should be. Our parents really failed us especially raising a male kids. Am talking from experience. The more we take that both gender has their roles to play, no one is superior than the other, the better for us.

I rest my case!

Either parents failed to train their male children well or male childreb decided to be sgupid by being too weak and simpling about

TONYE001:


No one is sure of the future. Maybe, just maybe, our campaign against DV may just pay out. Who knows? Someone in the government may read this piece and push for stronger laws against DV.

Whether it works out or not, it's better we keep fighting rather than staying back and doing nothing.

It's still not gonna change anything, 70% of America prison inmate is as a result of domestic violence and domestic violence is still on the high in America.
Even is the penalty is death sentence,it still not gonna change anything.

cocolacec:
I once called the attention of the Nigerian Police to a domestic abuse.The response was that it is a family matter,let the family settle it.
Nigerian Police will only show up once death occurs.

If more people will take to calling on the Nigerian police in cases of DV, I am certain the organization will be forced to begin doing something about the problem. Right now not enough people report cases of abuse because the general opinion is it is family matters, which it really isn't since neighbors and those around these individuals are impacted by the violence.

TONYE001:


It is rather sad that you consider this effort a means of seeking females' validation. You just missed the point here.

The bolded are mentioned in the article, by the way.

Thank you.

I like your mature replies but I still disagree with your analysis. My dad didn't beat my mum and most of the families around me don't have DV as physical assault but I have seen men mentally and psychologically fuqed up by women and the only avenue for release is by lashing out.
I have never laid a hand on a woman except in self defense. With what I have seen, I won't be one of those who say 'no matter what she does, I will NEVER raise my hand on a woman' because I will definitely raise my hand on any woman to protect myself.
I don't condone physical assault from any and everyone

emmanuelbrown26:

If after reading through d cited example and u couldn't comprehend how DV is being caused by women, we'll I am not shock at all bcs women are same in different packages

I think they all see DV from physical assault aspect alone, being the physically weak gender. They don't see mental, emotional and psychological manipulations as DV. That's where women rule. Yet if a man talks, he gets laughed at and scorned because apparently, he is supposed to 'suck it in and take it like a man' but forgetting that man or not, he is human and has limits of tolerance. When he loses his shiit and bursts out, people blame him and castigate him, yet no one wants to understand just how much mental strain he has gone through to suddenly snap like that.

Unless the man is clinically insane or with malignant tumors in his head, it makes no sense to beat a woman you love and who bore you kids.

emmanuelbrown26:
I read everything, from d beginning till d end but u didn't ask questions why DV is so so rampant this generation?
U see, ever since daughters of eve open eyes, na so wahala cum enter for family.
Since daughters of eve wan their simps husband to be pampering them and simps husband no cum get strength to pamper, na so wahala enter.
Infact daughters of eve all deserves to be in their fathers houses

It is not that DV is rampart in this generation. It’s actually lesser. Back then it started from bf beating up on gf which they carried into their marriage.
The difference is that with social media we are hearing more of it than before - just in the newspaper when it ended in death.

cocolacec:

To really curb domestic violence in the society.We need to start from the root cause the home.Corporal punishment should become a taboo in Nigeria.It should be forbidden in the home,Schools,Religious centres and work places.
Only slaves and animals are beaten to conform to the wills of the masters.

Until then,we will only continue to create a new generation of Narcissistic men and women without love and empathy in their hearts which in turn create a chaotic society with people with no humanity..

I agree too. Corporal punishment should be tossed away. It has a way of teaching the children violence.

truthsayer009:


I don't think this statement is true, Infact it was more rampant in the 70s to 90s. The difference is that we now have social media to broadcast it.

A decent young man in his 20s or early 30s are far more exposed.

Osinachi's husband is probably his 50s. Those are the older generations, that is how they roll.

If you do a proper research on Facebook or in churches, you will find that a lot of older generations from 45 and above seem okay with domestic violence.

I was wondering if we are in the same world.

DV more rampant ke?

michael1508:


I have read through your write ups till this point,I give you Kudos to your vast knowledge and patience when answering questions thrown at you,but I don't think a woman,pastor and a man,side chick are good analogy to describe what you both are trying to debate on.
Men naturally are ego (alpha)filled(positive either negative) while women are (beta) known to be the passive beings.
It's common seeing women idolising their pastors ahead of their husbands when compared to men washing plates or undies for their side chicks.
A man in his right senses won't wash a woman's undies or plates(apart from probably when his wife is pregnant or sick or any other woman he loves genuinely) and this is even temporary but a woman who places the pastor above her husband will rightfully tell you she does so from religious point of view,on how the pastor is her spiritual father and all other bla bla.

Thank you very much for your kind words.

I may not have used a perfect analogy there. The point I was driving at was that both genders have very serious faults they must begin to address.

emmanuelbrown26:

Mostly should be females. See, I hv volunteered with an NGO on domestic violence and child abuse for 10 solid months without pay, u did it to know marriage wahala and I know why I left them.
I hv worked with females and males. D issue is not about parents training their sons and daughters, sons heeds to d training more than daughters of eve.
Some daughters of eve deserves better beating before they would understand some certain things. I hv seen a lot in them

You need a whole lot of unlearning and relearning. You're so stuck in your stand without trying to reason out issues reasonably. Try to keep an open heart and reread the article. You'll be better for it.

TONYE001:


Well, from the research I did (cited in the article), it's actually getting worse now and this is understandable.

Before now, women easily acted their roles according to the African society/culture. Now, things are different. Women have to do more now. Because of the economy, women have to work. We now have education and women have to pursue their aspirations, just like men. So, they are overwhelmed. Imagine a bank manager returning home at 6/7pm and being expected by the husband to hurry to the kitchen and prepare dinner. Since women are unable to meet all these impossible expectations (without the help of their husbands), they are branded disloyal and in some instances, arguments from this scenario may amount to violence.

My point is, men should understand that we are no longer in the old days. This idea of the-wife-must-cook-and-do-the-chores must be thrown away. Men should be willing and eager to fold their sleeves and help out. Their wives are as tired as they are in the evenings when they return from their various places of work. This shouldn't be hard to understand.

This is strange.

emmanuelbrown26:

U nailed it, truth is bitter, we all want to eat d cake and still hv it, which is not done anywhere.
Something happened at a pharmacy that I worked with sometime ago.
D pharmacy normally closes by 9 but doors are being locked by 8:45, for d attendants to tidy up d days activities.
They employed a new pharmacists (though without much experience), so when d pharmacist wanted to go which is normal thing all over for pharmacist to leave before d whole attendants.
Could u believe d silent insult from one of d sales attendant. "that pharmacist can't leave until they reconciled their excess money, that he was d one that delayed them" d pharmacist asked politely that (bcs he was one cool and gentle guy) he was never d one that delayed them, they didn't wanted to open d door for d poor pharmacist to go.
Immediately I got hold of what happened, I opened d door and locked all of them inside and stayed outside. It was when they finished that they didn't see key, they called and pleaded that I should unlock for them to go. Why they pleaded they knew that my head no too correct for women matter.
So in this scenario, let's assume d pharmacist was the husband d sales attendant was d wife, what would u do in such situation?
Mind u, a Pharmacist on duty is d head of that pharmacy

The best question to ask is: if the sales attendant are men, will you lock them inside?
If the sales attendants are men and they say the pharmacist can't go, will he start a fight?

So if you marry a woman who is bad and refuses to change, you will beat her to death and face the firing squad right?

If the woman who has a bad attitude pulls out a loaded gun, will you still beat sense into her or will you get separated for your dear life?

What changed now? You can't beat her up anymore cus she has a gun, you won't beat the attendants or lock them up if they were hefty muscular men but the moment they are pretty women, beating becomes an option.

I won't tell you to stop or continue, we all know how it will end.
Either you beat them until they divorce you and take away almost everything from you, or, you beat them and they "mistakenly" die and you get jailed for life, or you beat them and they stab you in your sleep. Either way, you get to beat sense into them, mission accomplished.

luminouz:

I like your mature replies but I still disagree with your analysis. My dad didn't beat my mum and most of the families around me don't have DV as physical assault but I have seen men mentally and psychologically fuqed up by women and the only avenue for release is by lashing out.
I have never laid a hand on a woman except in self defense. With what I have seen, I won't be one of those who say 'no matter what she does, I will NEVER raise my hand on a woman' because I will definitely raise my hand on any woman to protect myself.
I don't condone physical assault from any and everyone

1. I am thankful to your dad for setting a good marriage example for you and others they trained.

2. I also have heard of stories of men that are subjected to all sorts of pains by their wives. I have also heard of stories of women that have been tortured by their husbands. See? It goes both ways.

3. I have nothing against defending yourself against an attacker, whether man or woman. Protecting ourselves is an innate reflex we all have.

I'm glad you don't condone physical assault.

emmanuelbrown26:

D earlier women start telling themselves d truth d easier to eradicate DV but species of women we hv this days are not ready to hear d truth.
A man can not just wake up and lay his hands on a woman without d woman pushing d man to d wall, mind u not all men can be allowed to be pushed to d wall before fighting back. If a woman want peace she should bring d peace

No sane woman can just wake up and start provoking her husband without a reasonable cause. Husband should also bring peace as well if you want peace.
Bro, two wrongs can never make a right. You don't solve a problem by creating a greater problem.
I understand that some wives can be provocative, verbally abusive or might be violent at times. They can cause or look for trouble. But all these can never justify domestic violence, you can conquer evil with evil. Look for better ways of dealing with this kind of women, instead of beating them. Or better still, separate or walk out of the marriage if it has become unbearable.
Men are always looking for who to blame for their actions since the time of Adam and Eve.
Men should learn to take responsibilities for their actions

bukatyne:


This is strange.

How, please?

IN this matter I wish most people can shut Up so we can rest .

bukatyne:


This is strange.

Not strange, that's just d fact

akinade28:

No sane woman can just wake up and start provoking her husband without a reasonable cause. Husband should also bring peace as well if you want peace.
Bro, two wrongs can never make a right. You don't solve a problem by creating a greater problem.
I understand that some wives can be provocative, verbally abusive or might be violent at times. They can cause or look for trouble. But all these can never justify domestic violence, you can conquer evil with evil. Look for better ways of dealing with this kind of women, instead of beating them. Or better still, separate or walk out of the marriage if it has become unbearable.
Men are always looking for who to blame for their actions since the time of Adam and Eve.
Men should learn to take responsibilities for their actions

If a woman want peace she should create d atmosphere for peace to reign, u can't just be giving me headache and expecting peace to come from my angle.
If a woman is not happy in her matrimonial home, she should go back to her father's house, is that too much to do?

luminouz:


I am one but I don't hate women. So your claim is ridiculous.

That dude gave you an example but you didn't analyse it, rather you deflected it and said he is not logical? Why not analyse the example and come back at him with your results? That dude has not been abusive for far. That and the OP have my respect so far, on being logical.

DV is not just about physical assault. There is emotional,mental and psychological aspects and that's where women rule. Tackle all forms of DV and you will have my support.

N.B: I had an experience with a wild horse. A girl who grabs a knife any time we have a disagreement about her drinking habits. One day, she rose up as usual and came at me with it, I defended myself and gave her three hot slaps, yanked the knife from her hand and held it to her throat. She started crying blah blah blah and went to sleep straight and even snored. If I hadn't defended myself and she stabbed me, she would have said I raped her or some shiit.

I tossed her out the next day. She still sees me as an OG till this day. The respect never dwindled.
It was two weeks later that I learned she actually stabbed her last ex (she told me a different story).

Now your ex needed a brain reset obviously. Though some men would have handled the situation without beating her right?

In a case of DV against men...women hitting their husbands, would we then say that it is the fault of the man at all times? Since the guy I quoted keeps saying it's the woman's fault. My issue with him is the fact that men can do no wrong but women solely carry the blame. That's a typical case of blame shifting.

And being a "Nairaland redpiller" is almost always equals to hatred or prejudice towards women especially on this forum. You can attest to that if you are sincere. You might be one of the exceptions.

I only mentioned some hard facts and you had to come to save him because you and him know deep down that what I said was real. Someone that said his head is not correct for women's matters should not be taken seriously in real issues like this that have to do with lives.

You sound intelligent and more exposed so I'm sure you understand my point.

This is a topic I think the society hasn't addressed honestly,the society believes that a woman's strength is in her mouth and it is okay to abuse a man verbally while same society expects the man to walk away when provoked or abused by a woman,the society never canvasses for the woman to also walk away when provoked,so the emphasis should be No to any type of abuse,it is not okay to verbally or emotionally abuse a man or a woman,it is as damaging as physical violence,most DV stems from verbal abuses but the society is fine with a woman using her strength (her mouth) while asking the man not to use his own strength (his fists),so it now behoves on how much control the man has over his own anger, people have different temperaments,so we are waiting for the next man that will lose control of his anger to beat a woman instead of teaching and expecting both men and women not to abuse themselves in any way,it is wrong to abuse anyone in anyway whether verbally, emotionally or violence,it is not okay and should not be encouraged or excused

emmanuelbrown26:

If after reading through d cited example and u couldn't comprehend how DV is being caused by women, we'll I am not shock at all bcs women are same in different packages

Guy rest.

YourFavEvangeli:


The best question to ask is: if the sales attendant are men, will you lock them inside?
If the sales attendants are men and they say the pharmacist can't go, will he start a fight?

So if you marry a woman who is bad and refuses to change, you will beat her to death and face the firing squad right?

If the woman who has a bad attitude pulls out a loaded gun, will you still beat sense into her or will you get separated for your dear life?

What changed now? You can't beat her up anymore cus she has a gun, you won't beat the attendants or lock them up if they were hefty muscular men but the moment they are pretty women, beating becomes an option.

I won't tell you to stop or continue, we all know how it will end.
Either you beat them until they divorce you and take away almost everything from you, or, you beat them and they "mistakenly" die and you get jailed for life, or you beat them and they stab you in your sleep. Either way, you get to beat sense into them, mission accomplished.

At d bolded, when I was working their, I was at branch A before they transfered me to branch B, branch A had guys while branch B had girls.
Then, I used to relieve guys whenever there was an emergency for them to attend to, I was doing it bcs all d guys had one mind and one spirit.
When I came to branch B, I first told them to always respect themselves that I don't play. I started seen d signs in them before d issue of locking them inside came.
U can't just compare guys and girls,

IRALIFE:


You need a whole lot of unlearning and relearning. You're so stuck in your stand without trying to reason out issues reasonably. Try to keep an open heart and reread the article. You'll be better for it.

Which I hv done since yesterday

God will help somebody, the issue is there has to be proper blvetting before you marry somebody, thats prolly the summary of everything
I have seen a woman mocking her husband, see your life, see how i am talking to you anyhow, you cant even beat me! You are not a man.
I was shocked beyond measure that day!
The article is very feminist and modern and logical but practically it doesnt solve any problem
Maybe even adds to it.

obryns:
This is a topic I think the society hasn't addressed honestly,the society believes that a woman's strength is in her mouth and it is okay to abuse a man verbally while same society expects the man to walk away when provoked or abused by a woman,the society never canvasses for the woman to also walk away when provoked,so the emphasis should be No to any type of abuse,it is not okay to verbally or emotionally abuse a man or a woman,it is as damaging as physical violence,most DV stems from verbal abuses but the society is fine with a woman using her strength (her mouth) while asking the man not to use his own strength (his fists),so it now behoves on how much control the man has over his own anger, people have different temperaments,so we are waiting for the next man that will lose control of his anger to beat a woman instead of teaching and expecting both men and women not to abuse themselves in any way,it is wrong to abuse anyone in anyway whether verbally, emotionally or violence,it is not okay and should not be encouraged or excused

This article, and many others out there, are against all forms of abuse.

@ the bolded: I refer you to the concluding paragraph of this article where the writer admonishes ALL victims of DV (M/F) to walk away and take legal action.

Thank you.

God will help somebody, the issue is there has to be proper blvetting before you marry somebody, thats prolly the summary of everything
I have seen a woman mocking her husband, see your life, see how i am talking to you anyhow, you cant even beat me! You are not a man.
I was shocked beyond measure that day!
The article is very feminist and modern and logical but practically it doesnt solve any problem
Maybe even adds to it.

obryns:
This is a topic I think the society hasn't addressed honestly,the society believes that a woman's strength is in her mouth and it is okay to abuse a man verbally while same society expects the man to walk away when provoked or abused by a woman,the society never canvasses for the woman to also walk away when provoked,so the emphasis should be No to any type of abuse,it is not okay to verbally or emotionally abuse a man or a woman,it is as damaging as physical violence,most DV stems from verbal abuses but the society is fine with a woman using her strength (her mouth) while asking the man not to use his own strength (his fists),so it now behoves on how much control the man has over his own anger, people have different temperaments,so we are waiting for the next man that will lose control of his anger to beat a woman instead of teaching and expecting both men and women not to abuse themselves in any way,it is wrong to abuse anyone in anyway whether verbally, emotionally or violence,it is not okay and should not be encouraged or excused

This is a very thoughtful, well researched and insightful post. But will the Nairaland youth read it and heed it? I hope so.

obryns:
This is a topic I think the society hasn't addressed honestly,the society believes that a woman's strength is in her mouth and it is okay to abuse a man verbally while same society expects the man to walk away when provoked or abused by a woman,the society never canvasses for the woman to also walk away when provoked,so the emphasis should be No to any type of abuse,it is not okay to verbally or emotionally abuse a man or a woman,it is as damaging as physical violence,most DV stems from verbal abuses but the society is fine with a woman using her strength (her mouth) while asking the man not to use his own strength (his fists),so it now behoves on how much control the man has over his own anger, people have different temperaments,so we are waiting for the next man that will lose control of his anger to beat a woman instead of teaching and expecting both men and women not to abuse themselves in any way,it is wrong to abuse anyone in anyway whether verbally, emotionally or violence,it is not okay and should not be encouraged or excused

This is accurate AF
U have sense!

CorperKola:
God will help somebody, the issue is there has to be proper blvetting before you marry somebody, thats prolly the summary of everything
I have seen a woman mocking her husband, see your life, see how i am talking to you anyhow, you cant even beat me! You are not a man.
I was shocked beyond measure that day!
The article is very feminist and modern and logical but practically it doesnt solve any problem
Maybe even adds to it.

Thanks for commenting but could you please point at feministic areas of the article? As far as I know, I tried to make a balanced analysis that's not just my opinion but products of research.

Glad you noted the submission is logical.

rickleye:


It is not that DV is rampart in this generation. It’s actually lesser. Back then it started from bf beating up on gf which they carried into their marriage.
The difference is that with social media we are hearing more of it than before - just in the newspaper when it ended in death.

boy friend and girlfriend beeating started more in earlier 2000s, it wasn't like this 1990s