Delaying having children in order to be able to study - Shayk (Dr) Sharaffudeen Gbadebo Raji

Question
If a brother and a sister are legally married but do not wish to bear children (at the moment), how can they go about it?

Answer
Dr Sharof: Why is it that they do not want to have children?

The Congregation: Because of their studies.

Dr Sharof: We seek refuge with Allaah! They should start bearing children with immediate effect. They should stop deceiving themselves. If they continue that way, Allaah may decide to delay them whenever they are ready to start bearing children. Such thing had happened to (many) people; they suffer unnecessary delay at the time they decide to start bearing children. There are situations whereby the brother may be ready to start bearing children, but the sister may say her career will be ruined. They target times when the sister will be on leave or when she will be on holidays for those who are still schooling before she gets pregnant, so that she gives birth during these periods. However, in this case, their decision is to restrain from it because of the sister’s career. The harm with this is that they will have to bite the bullet, especially the sister. Men have a lot of options; if he discovers that you have a problem (with bearing children) he can easily marry a new wife. Na’am!

As for their question regarding what they could do to avoid bearing children, there is no answer to such question. They should start bearing children. Na’am!

Source: Q&A session of the tape, “The Concept of Nikaah”.
Transcribed by Aboo Aaishah Al Odeomeey

Make una stop to receive una self..

Anytime person wake up na him morning be that..

Why will you dictate when a couple should start bearing children

No b imam go tell me wen I go born pikin...and why is he trying to speak for God ... saying Allah will decide not to give a child is if the couple delay bcus of reasons best known to them.....I just so much hate religious Pipo..wit passion....tirrrrr

This doesn't make much sense to me. Delaying or not delaying doesn't stop the Decree of the Most Merciful from coming to pass. Scholars should learn when to keep quiet

You cannot on your own take decisions on child bearing without praying to God about it. It is not all about getting married and having children immediately or later (Career or No Career) Just plan with God and pray. All you pray and ask for, he will grant them accordingly..
#Believe ..✊

BeardGangJnr1:
No b imam go tell me wen I go born pikin...and why is he trying to speak for God ... saying Allah will decide not to give a child is if the couple delay bcus of reasons best known to them.....I just so much hate religious Pipo..wit passion....tirrrrr

Some people always want to have a say. Doesn't this scholar believe in Allah's decree of Qadar? Abeg Make him go siddon.

Breadandpeppers:
Make una stop to receive una self..

Anytime person wake up na him morning be that..

Why will you dictate when a couple should start bearing children

You do not understand, it's a myopic mindset that says anytime you wake up your day break.
There is time for everything

This religion thing sef

Emu4life:

Some people always want to have a say. Doesn't this scholar believe in Allah's decree of Qadar? Abeg Make him go siddon.

Even though the scholar didn't put any evidence.
Your statement is not in line with Hankali
So because I believe in Qadar now I can start behaving anyhow?

Breadandpeppers:
Make una stop to receive una self..

Anytime person wake up na him morning be that..

Why will you dictate when a couple should start bearing children

When will you wake-up

Hmmm

Fear woman for your own good

There is nothing wrong with what he said, why get married when you know you dont want to start having children who does that,
So if God decided to now really delay them when they are ready to conceive they will now be shouting there village people
I did speak to a lady before and she said like 5yrs after are wedding she doesn't want to give birth just enjoying her husband alone, I was like see this mumu inside me. That a bad decision to make. All because of sex

I disagree with this. It is merely the opinion of a scholar and not binding.

Crucialgem:
There is nothing wrong with what he said, why get married when you know you dont want to start having children who does that,
So if God decided to now really delay them when they are ready to conceive they will now be shouting there village people
I did speak to a lady before and she said like 5yrs after are wedding she doesn't want to give birth just enjoying her husband alone, I was like see this mumu inside me. That a bad decision to make. All because of sex

It's actually a decision by the couple. As long as it doesn't go against the word of God, I don't think they are wrong. Me and my hubby for instance decided not to have children immediately. We waited. Now we have kids.

Some marriage counsellors will advise that you give yourself a few months to bond alone without kids before you start having them. But ultimately, it's your decision. And you commit everything to God and He will see it through with you.

Assalamualaikum, please my question goes like this. When one is ignorant of a sharia rulings on a subject, and he/her induge in it then later become knowledgeable or aware of d proper way. What can be done to rectify previous deeds. Example, a man wrote 3 divorce at an instant to his wife then later became remorseful of it and want the wife to come back. Please is there solution or remedy to this for the couples to get back together?

Assalamualaikum, please my question goes like this. When one is ignorant of a sharia rulings on a subject, and he/she induge in it then later become knowledgeable or aware of d proper way. What can be done to rectify previous deeds. Example, a man wrote 3 divorce at an instant to his wife then later became remorseful of it and want the wife to come back. Please is there solution or remedy to this for the couples to get back together?

Yaba4sure:
Assalamualaikum, please my question goes like this. When one is ignorant of a sharia rulings on a subject, and he/she induge in it then later become knowledgeable or aware of d proper way. What can be done to rectify previous deeds. Example, a man wrote 3 divorce at an instant to his wife then later became remorseful of it and want the wife to come back. Please is there solution or remedy to this for the couples to get back together?

Alhamdallh.
If she's not left your house,you guys can settle it amicably,but if she's left and marry another man, then you can't marry her again until, she got divorced by the man or the man dies (naturally) Allahu a'lam

Yaba4sure:
Assalamualaikum, please my question goes like this. When one is ignorant of a sharia rulings on a subject, and he/she induge in it then later become knowledgeable or aware of d proper way. What can be done to rectify previous deeds. Example, a man wrote 3 divorce at an instant to his wife then later became remorseful of it and want the wife to come back. Please is there solution or remedy to this for the couples to get back together?

Your best Plug is to reach out to the Scholars of Knowledge giving assertions on this page won't be enough.

As for the 3 Divorce, Some Scholars do not agree to the count. it's counted as 1 While others consider it to be. This is Issue of Fiqh which can be either way. Yet reaching out the Knowledgeable scholars will do for you.

Herbephe1:



Alhamdallh.
If she's not left your house,you guys can settle it amicably,but if she's left and marry another man, then you can't marry her again until, she got divorced by the man or the man dies (naturally) Allahu a'lam

she left the house that every day but she is yet to get married.

Adlac:


Your best Plug is to reach out to the Scholars of Knowledge giving assertions on this page won't be enough.

As for the 3 Divorce, Some Scholars do not agree to the count. it's counted as 1 While others consider it to be. This is Issue of Fiqh which can be either way. Yet reaching out the Knowledgeable scholars will do for you.

thanks

Lukgaf:
Delaying having children in order to be able to study - Shayk (Dr) Sharaffudeen Gbadebo Raji

Question
If a brother and a sister are legally married but do not wish to bear children (at the moment), how can they go about it?

Answer
Dr Sharof: Why is it that they do not want to have children?

The Congregation: Because of their studies.

Dr Sharof: We seek refuge with Allaah! They should start bearing children with immediate effect. They should stop deceiving themselves. If they continue that way, Allaah may decide to delay them whenever they are ready to start bearing children. Such thing had happened to (many) people; they suffer unnecessary delay at the time they decide to start bearing children. There are situations whereby the brother may be ready to start bearing children, but the sister may say her career will be ruined. They target times when the sister will be on leave or when she will be on holidays for those who are still schooling before she gets pregnant, so that she gives birth during these periods. However, in this case, their decision is to restrain from it because of the sister’s career. The harm with this is that they will have to bite the bullet, especially the sister. Men have a lot of options; if he discovers that you have a problem (with bearing children) he can easily marry a new wife. Na’am!

As for their question regarding what they could do to avoid bearing children, there is no answer to such question. They should start bearing children. Na’am!

Source: Q&A session of the tape, “The Concept of Nikaah”.
Transcribed by Aboo Aaishah Al Odeomeey

jazzakaLlahu kair Ahki. Aku ongbe o
May Allah accept all our Ibadah

Crucialgem:
There is nothing wrong with what he said, why get married when you know you dont want to start having children who does that,
So if God decided to now really delay them when they are ready to conceive they will now be shouting there village people
I did speak to a lady before and she said like 5yrs after are wedding she doesn't want to give birth just enjoying her husband alone, I was like see this mumu inside me. That a bad decision to make. All because of sex

So the only reason to get married is to have children abi.

There's no big deal if you decide to delay having children in marriage, once you are not involving in what's haram in the process, like abortion...this particular scholar sud have made it clear that he answered this question based on his own opinion.

Codepain:

Even though the scholar didn't put any evidence.
Your statement is not in line with Hankali
So because I believe in Qadar now I can start behaving anyhow?

But this is subjective..........

More nonsense.

Why are you people so fixated on dictating to people how they should live? And why is the advice almost always detrimental to both the individual and the wider society?

So as a muslim now what about a man that has nothing doing yet and mistakenly pregnant a woman, so he went ahead to abort it ...

Can that be a sin because he was trying not to make d innocent child suffer in life ?