My husband went through my phone

Aunty Ngozi, please help me now!

I am in a serious mess. In fact, I am in deep poo. Aunty, it is my husband, he has my phone and he has gone though it and he has read everything! Everything! In fact, right now I am in my friend's house sending you this distress message. I'm afraid to go back home. Help me! Please help me. How can I explain all the messages from Alhaji?

Distressed wife



My reply

Dear Distressed wife,

Calm down. It is not the end of the world. You should not have left your home. For what? You have fall my hand, but there is redemption yet.

I take it you did not give him your phone to go through, so that is your angle; he obviously has trust issues. You need to play on this. You need to make him feel there is something wrong with him, not you.

But before you cam pull this off you have to erase everything on your phone. Call your network provider and declare your phone stolen. They will ask you for your IMEI number. Don't panic. If you don't have it they can use your phone number; you just have to prove the phone is yours by telling them the last few number you called. Don's ask me how I know.

Tell them it's your business phone and you have all your bank details and highly sensitive data stored on it. Oyinbo people have really tried; your phone will be remotely wiped clean. Once this is done, wait for him to call you and just begin to cry before you even say anything, If he asks you why you are crying, tell him it's because you know he wants to divorce you and that is why he's making up all sorts of stories about finding incriminating evidence on your phone. This is important: Tell him (while still crying) that the phone hasn't even been working well and you haven't been able to send, talk less of receive, any messages on it.

When he goes through the phone again, as he must, and he finds the evidence gone, he would start to doubt his own sanity. You must help him with this doubt. Start to make up stories like, "That is the same way you beat me up that night and in the morning you said you didn't remember doing any such thing."

When he is asking you what you are talking about, tell him, in a deeply wounded voice, "I love you, but I'm afraid of you now because of the way you've been behaving. I think we should be apart for now while you seek help."

Keep this up until you can tell that he is truly genuinely doubting his own sanity, then wait till he begs you not to tell anyone what he's going through before you agree to 'give him another chance if he promises to seek help.'

I really don't like helping cheating wives like this, but I hate men who go through girl's phones more than I hate the girls who cheat on them.

Carry out my instructions to the letter and you'll have your man and your marriage back. But, you too, stop being so unprofessional: always delete sexting messages from your phone once you've read them, and never ever let your husband or anyone to go through your phone. Dont fall my hand again, abeg. Good night.

Aunty Ngozi

http://www.wazobiareport.com/agony-aunt/My-husband-went-through-my-phone

Wo
nice one
anoda 2 my list

My stupid boyfriend slapped me again, what should I do

Aunty Ngozi,

My stupid boyfriend slapped me again. What should I do? Should I kill him, maim him, or just pour acid on him?

This is not the first time or the second time or the third time he’s embarrassing me in public like this so I’m really out for revenge dis time. Nothing can stop me!

TK

My reply

Dear TK,

It is not your boyfriend that’s stupid but you.

After the first slap, the second slap, the third slap, and God knows how many other slaps, and all in public (I’m guessing from your letter), the best solution you’ve come up with is to commit one of several offences that’ll most definitely land you in prison? Really?

I know what this is; you just want to hear me say ‘you have fall my hand.’

Well, any woman that waits till the second slap before dumping an a***hole has fall her own hand before she even begins to fall my own.

And any woman who announces her intended crime of passion on the internet instead of quietly planning the prefect crime that she’ll get away with has mega fall my hand!

Aunty Ngozi

Op are you a witch?

You need Jesus in that case.

If you did not have enough brains to have deleted those message after reading themg then you deserve whatever you get

.

password your blackberry phone : ain't no reading my messages and i will not read yours ( no time ) after all its my phone.