| Re: Help! I'm Too Nice And People Are Taking Advantage Of My Niceness. by Apili: 9:58pm On Jun 28, 2022 |
This is the exact situation I am but since I started my building project I limited my kindness and helping hands to people
Even my friends when dey live with me na me dey buy everything for house
Them go dey claim owner of house few days 2days ago I gave them money to prepare soup at home
I didn't see anything
As am typing now I am just coming back from eatery
I ate to my satisfaction and they are starving now
Them just dey look me as I take freestyle them
Since they don't want to help them self
Make them suffer I nor dey pluck money from tree
Am happy am getting free from this grip of pitting people and also ready to sacrifice my last cash for people to be happy
Now I know it pays sometimes to be wicked
You can't achieve anything when you have a soft heart 15 Likes |
| Re: Help! I'm Too Nice And People Are Taking Advantage Of My Niceness. by Brushstrokes20: 9:59pm On Jun 28, 2022 |
I've been there, done that.... # they mistook my gentility for stupidity until I CHAINGE AM FOR DEM  I hope you don't learn the hard way though! 1 Like |
| Re: Help! I'm Too Nice And People Are Taking Advantage Of My Niceness. by Ijeamaka1: 10:00pm On Jun 28, 2022 |
Stay wicked |
| Re: Help! I'm Too Nice And People Are Taking Advantage Of My Niceness. by ramark04: 10:02pm On Jun 28, 2022 |
From my experience, don't give out what you can't afford to lose 3 Likes |
| Re: Help! I'm Too Nice And People Are Taking Advantage Of My Niceness. by Trapperman: 10:04pm On Jun 28, 2022 |
Nice people sell ice cream 3 Likes |
| Re: Help! I'm Too Nice And People Are Taking Advantage Of My Niceness. by Mosco100(m): 10:04pm On Jun 28, 2022 |
Read ‘Emotional Intelligence’ by Daniel Goleman 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Help! I'm Too Nice And People Are Taking Advantage Of My Niceness. by lolu2019: 10:06pm On Jun 28, 2022 |
Travicon:
Hello Nairalanders,
I will try as much as possible to make the write-up short.
I am a 21years old guy at a Russian university with two Nigerian roommates (In the hostel though). We averagely get the same amount of money as an allowance monthly, but mine always finishes first.
I don't spend unnecessarily on myself, and we cook together. I discovered after two months of staying together that they care less about buying things that we generally use in the room. For instance, I always buy food season, detergents, and cooking oil (quite expensive).
I cook most of the time. Anytime I decide not to cook, we always go hungry and I can't cope with that. This has made my cash always run out faster and I can't stop them from eating my food or using the things I buy.
There was a time also I lend the last money with me (100k in naira) to my best friend then in Nigeria because he claimed his dad was sick and promised to repay by month-end. I didn't have anything to take me through the remaining days of the month but I gave it out because he was a close friend. Month-end, I couldn't get money from my sponsor because of some issues. I contacted my guy but he stopped replying to me on WhatsApp. I managed to get 20k but the rest is probably history now.
Whenever people talk about their problems, I always feel for them to the extent of giving out my money even if it's the last cash on me. I have never had a girlfriend, but I don't always have the strength to reject if a girl asks for airtime or money from me (including my mum and sisters though)
I always try to go to any length to see people happy even if it means borrowing money from another person for them. I'm that foolish. Generally, I'm too soft-hearted and nice but I don't know how to solve this problem. Someone advised me I should get a girlfriend who should always be angry with me if I'm being too nice to people and that will help me solve the problem to some extent but I think it won't.
I'm not from a rich family, not even from an average family. I'm even from a polygamous home so I know what it means to have suffered as a Nigerian. I was on the street and I guess that's what is making me this weak emotionally. I'm a simp all-around in my life and relationship with people. People are always cheating on me, taking advantage of who I am.
I NEED genuine HELP, please. always do ur mathematics before helping people. |
| Re: Help! I'm Too Nice And People Are Taking Advantage Of My Niceness. by akinade28(f): 10:07pm On Jun 28, 2022 |
Travicon:
Hello Nairalanders,
I will try as much as possible to make the write-up short.
I am a 21years old guy at a Russian university with two Nigerian roommates (In the hostel though). We averagely get the same amount of money as an allowance monthly, but mine always finishes first.
I don't spend unnecessarily on myself, and we cook together. I discovered after two months of staying together that they care less about buying things that we generally use in the room. For instance, I always buy food season, detergents, and cooking oil (quite expensive).
I cook most of the time. Anytime I decide not to cook, we always go hungry and I can't cope with that. This has made my cash always run out faster and I can't stop them from eating my food or using the things I buy.
There was a time also I lend the last money with me (100k in naira) to my best friend then in Nigeria because he claimed his dad was sick and promised to repay by month-end. I didn't have anything to take me through the remaining days of the month but I gave it out because he was a close friend. Month-end, I couldn't get money from my sponsor because of some issues. I contacted my guy but he stopped replying to me on WhatsApp. I managed to get 20k but the rest is probably history now.
Whenever people talk about their problems, I always feel for them to the extent of giving out my money even if it's the last cash on me. I have never had a girlfriend, but I don't always have the strength to reject if a girl asks for airtime or money from me (including my mum and sisters though)
I always try to go to any length to see people happy even if it means borrowing money from another person for them. I'm that foolish. Generally, I'm too soft-hearted and nice but I don't know how to solve this problem. Someone advised me I should get a girlfriend who should always be angry with me if I'm being too nice to people and that will help me solve the problem to some extent but I think it won't.
I'm not from a rich family, not even from an average family. I'm even from a polygamous home so I know what it means to have suffered as a Nigerian. I was on the street and I guess that's what is making me this weak emotionally. I'm a simp all-around in my life and relationship with people. People are always cheating on me, taking advantage of who I am.
I NEED genuine HELP, please. 1) don't be too hard on yourself, you are who you are. However, you can only improve yourself. 2) you need understand yourself that you have a good heart, and most people you will come across in this life are terrible people who are to take advantage of you. This is regardless of who they are to you. So you need to know when to draw the line and protect yourself against these people. 3) acknowledge the fact that only you can take care of you, the way you want to be treated. The only exception is well you meet someone that is like-minded. Most people are just out to get from you and not give. Giving to people is not a bad thing, just know when to draw the line. 4) stop cooking for the whole room. I mean, are you their cook? This will help you reduce your cost. 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Help! I'm Too Nice And People Are Taking Advantage Of My Niceness. by GOATandYAMtheory: 10:08pm On Jun 28, 2022 |
Travicon:
Hello Nairalanders,
I will try as much as possible to make the write-up short.
I am a 21years old guy at a Russian university with two Nigerian roommates (In the hostel though). We averagely get the same amount of money as an allowance monthly, but mine always finishes first.
I don't spend unnecessarily on myself, and we cook together. I discovered after two months of staying together that they care less about buying things that we generally use in the room. For instance, I always buy food season, detergents, and cooking oil (quite expensive).
I cook most of the time. Anytime I decide not to cook, we always go hungry and I can't cope with that. This has made my cash always run out faster and I can't stop them from eating my food or using the things I buy.
There was a time also I lend the last money with me (100k in naira) to my best friend then in Nigeria because he claimed his dad was sick and promised to repay by month-end. I didn't have anything to take me through the remaining days of the month but I gave it out because he was a close friend. Month-end, I couldn't get money from my sponsor because of some issues. I contacted my guy but he stopped replying to me on WhatsApp. I managed to get 20k but the rest is probably history now.
Whenever people talk about their problems, I always feel for them to the extent of giving out my money even if it's the last cash on me. I have never had a girlfriend, but I don't always have the strength to reject if a girl asks for airtime or money from me (including my mum and sisters though)
I always try to go to any length to see people happy even if it means borrowing money from another person for them. I'm that foolish. Generally, I'm too soft-hearted and nice but I don't know how to solve this problem. Someone advised me I should get a girlfriend who should always be angry with me if I'm being too nice to people and that will help me solve the problem to some extent but I think it won't.
I'm not from a rich family, not even from an average family. I'm even from a polygamous home so I know what it means to have suffered as a Nigerian. I was on the street and I guess that's what is making me this weak emotionally. I'm a simp all-around in my life and relationship with people. People are always cheating on me, taking advantage of who I am.
I NEED genuine HELP, please. Having a girlfriend who would be angry with you for being nice won't solve the problem. Women are selfish creations, she will only divert all of your niceness and concentrate it on herself. You will soon understand when you start having girlfriends or when you marry... The problem with you is that you are still very young. I used to have the eagerness to solve people's problems but not anymore. I have learnt the hard way. Bro! Some people are in a difficult situation because that is what they deserve, and when you try to help them, it's like you are challenging God who has put them in that situation. Know this and know peace. One rule that will always help you. Be moderate in everything..even in niceness! Be moderate! If you don't know how to do this, life will teach you. 11 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Help! I'm Too Nice And People Are Taking Advantage Of My Niceness. by ManOfSon: 10:08pm On Jun 28, 2022 |
Travicon:
Hello Nairalanders,
I will try as much as possible to make the write-up short.
I am a 21years old guy at a Russian university with two Nigerian roommates (In the hostel though). We averagely get the same amount of money as an allowance monthly, but mine always finishes first.
I don't spend unnecessarily on myself, and we cook together. I discovered after two months of staying together that they care less about buying things that we generally use in the room. For instance, I always buy food season, detergents, and cooking oil (quite expensive).
I cook most of the time. Anytime I decide not to cook, we always go hungry and I can't cope with that. This has made my cash always run out faster and I can't stop them from eating my food or using the things I buy.
There was a time also I lend the last money with me (100k in naira) to my best friend then in Nigeria because he claimed his dad was sick and promised to repay by month-end. I didn't have anything to take me through the remaining days of the month but I gave it out because he was a close friend. Month-end, I couldn't get money from my sponsor because of some issues. I contacted my guy but he stopped replying to me on WhatsApp. I managed to get 20k but the rest is probably history now.
Whenever people talk about their problems, I always feel for them to the extent of giving out my money even if it's the last cash on me. I have never had a girlfriend, but I don't always have the strength to reject if a girl asks for airtime or money from me (including my mum and sisters though)
I always try to go to any length to see people happy even if it means borrowing money from another person for them. I'm that foolish. Generally, I'm too soft-hearted and nice but I don't know how to solve this problem. Someone advised me I should get a girlfriend who should always be angry with me if I'm being too nice to people and that will help me solve the problem to some extent but I think it won't.
I'm not from a rich family, not even from an average family. I'm even from a polygamous home so I know what it means to have suffered as a Nigerian. I was on the street and I guess that's what is making me this weak emotionally. I'm a simp all-around in my life and relationship with people. People are always cheating on me, taking advantage of who I am.
I NEED genuine HELP, please. Whenever Nigerians say "Oh he's such a nice person", watch out. They're dealing with the said person mercilessly. To most Nigerians, you're nice for as long as they can use you to achieve their selfish goals. Otherwise, you become enemy number one. The average Nigerian is a problem to be solved. Now you know. 4 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Help! I'm Too Nice And People Are Taking Advantage Of My Niceness. by jclassiq(m): 10:09pm On Jun 28, 2022 |
Nigga, love your fvcking self!!
You sound dumb. Someone is advising you to "get a girlfriend that will be angry with you," how does that sound to you?
Love yourself, young playa.
That's all. 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Help! I'm Too Nice And People Are Taking Advantage Of My Niceness. by highbee02: 10:10pm On Jun 28, 2022 |
Be JUST before u are GENEROUS; satisfy yourself before u satisfy others |
| Re: Help! I'm Too Nice And People Are Taking Advantage Of My Niceness. by collum(m): 10:10pm On Jun 28, 2022 |
FatherCHRISTMAS:
I read everything and must say I was once like you... I was once so kindhearted I'd do anything to please others.
But what later hardened me ? I honestly don't know....Probably the realization that people place more value on individuals who cause then pain than those who gives them joy.
A girl must have done this to u.
|
| Re: Help! I'm Too Nice And People Are Taking Advantage Of My Niceness. by Meedon: 10:10pm On Jun 28, 2022 |
Be Stoïc |
| Re: Help! I'm Too Nice And People Are Taking Advantage Of My Niceness. by Connected1: 10:15pm On Jun 28, 2022 |
Travicon:
Hello Nairalanders,
I will try as much as possible to make the write-up short.
I'm not from a rich family, not even from an average family. I'm even from a polygamous home so I know what it means to have suffered as a Nigerian. I was on the street and I guess that's what is making me this weak emotionally. I'm a simp all-around in my life and relationship with people. People are always cheating on me, taking advantage of who I am.
I NEED genuine HELP, please. That has to be a beautiful street, not the ghetto streets some of us grew up in. If anyone even your family members try to take advantage of you, you withdraw yourself or run an eye for an eye. Be good but not to the detriment of your emotional health, when you help someone or show love to them and they don't reciprocate it back, don't blame them, just forget about helping them again, pass that help to others. Let them say whatever they like. 5 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Help! I'm Too Nice And People Are Taking Advantage Of My Niceness. by chieme123(m): 10:15pm On Jun 28, 2022 |
I can relate.
From the title, you already know what your problem is. So fix it. |
| Re: Help! I'm Too Nice And People Are Taking Advantage Of My Niceness. by franktech(m): 10:18pm On Jun 28, 2022 |
I honestly on a bit similar lane with you. I normally like to give out cash gifts to whoever I feel needs them and my own is bad because I give excessively. I know it is a problem for me and I started searching the keywords "how to say no when someone ask for money" on Google and YouTube videos.
Now I am more than stingy and it is very beneficial to me ever since. When people ask for my money I have countless baskets of ways to say no without hurting my relationship with them.
People really too advantage of me for years until I put a stop to it. 5 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Help! I'm Too Nice And People Are Taking Advantage Of My Niceness. by DaddyNimo(m): 10:20pm On Jun 28, 2022 |
Travicon:
Hello Nairalanders,
I will try as much as possible to make the write-up short.
I am a 21years old guy at a Russian university with two Nigerian roommates (In the hostel though). We averagely get the same amount of money as an allowance monthly, but mine always finishes first.
I don't spend unnecessarily on myself, and we cook together. I discovered after two months of staying together that they care less about buying things that we generally use in the room. For instance, I always buy food season, detergents, and cooking oil (quite expensive).
I cook most of the time. Anytime I decide not to cook, we always go hungry and I can't cope with that. This has made my cash always run out faster and I can't stop them from eating my food or using the things I buy.
There was a time also I lend the last money with me (100k in naira) to my best friend then in Nigeria because he claimed his dad was sick and promised to repay by month-end. I didn't have anything to take me through the remaining days of the month but I gave it out because he was a close friend. Month-end, I couldn't get money from my sponsor because of some issues. I contacted my guy but he stopped replying to me on WhatsApp. I managed to get 20k but the rest is probably history now.
Whenever people talk about their problems, I always feel for them to the extent of giving out my money even if it's the last cash on me. I have never had a girlfriend, but I don't always have the strength to reject if a girl asks for airtime or money from me (including my mum and sisters though)
I always try to go to any length to see people happy even if it means borrowing money from another person for them. I'm that foolish. Generally, I'm too soft-hearted and nice but I don't know how to solve this problem. Someone advised me I should get a girlfriend who should always be angry with me if I'm being too nice to people and that will help me solve the problem to some extent but I think it won't.
I'm not from a rich family, not even from an average family. I'm even from a polygamous home so I know what it means to have suffered as a Nigerian. I was on the street and I guess that's what is making me this weak emotionally. I'm a simp all-around in my life and relationship with people. People are always cheating on me, taking advantage of who I am.
I NEED genuine HELP, please. First step to stop being nice to to start saying NO....stop doing things on the spot....always first say NO to every and any request people make to you....even before they finish asking just cut them short with a firm resounding NO. With time, you'd get used to it...secondly stop caring for others, learn to mind your business....the suffering of other people shouldn't concern you. Even if someone mom is dying in front of you and its only your money that can save her....comot body....tell dem sorry offer prayers and comot body....thirdly have a gf....you need to experience heartbreak to have sense. 4 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Help! I'm Too Nice And People Are Taking Advantage Of My Niceness. by Munzy14(m): 10:21pm On Jun 28, 2022 |
Travicon:
Hello Nairalanders,
I will try as much as possible to make the write-up short.
I am a 21years old guy at a Russian university with two Nigerian roommates (In the hostel though). We averagely get the same amount of money as an allowance monthly, but mine always finishes first.
I don't spend unnecessarily on myself, and we cook together. I discovered after two months of staying together that they care less about buying things that we generally use in the room. For instance, I always buy food season, detergents, and cooking oil (quite expensive).
I cook most of the time. Anytime I decide not to cook, we always go hungry and I can't cope with that. This has made my cash always run out faster and I can't stop them from eating my food or using the things I buy.
There was a time also I lend the last money with me (100k in naira) to my best friend then in Nigeria because he claimed his dad was sick and promised to repay by month-end. I didn't have anything to take me through the remaining days of the month but I gave it out because he was a close friend. Month-end, I couldn't get money from my sponsor because of some issues. I contacted my guy but he stopped replying to me on WhatsApp. I managed to get 20k but the rest is probably history now.
Whenever people talk about their problems, I always feel for them to the extent of giving out my money even if it's the last cash on me. I have never had a girlfriend, but I don't always have the strength to reject if a girl asks for airtime or money from me (including my mum and sisters though)
I always try to go to any length to see people happy even if it means borrowing money from another person for them. I'm that foolish. Generally, I'm too soft-hearted and nice but I don't know how to solve this problem. Someone advised me I should get a girlfriend who should always be angry with me if I'm being too nice to people and that will help me solve the problem to some extent but I think it won't.
I'm not from a rich family, not even from an average family. I'm even from a polygamous home so I know what it means to have suffered as a Nigerian. I was on the street and I guess that's what is making me this weak emotionally. I'm a simp all-around in my life and relationship with people. People are always cheating on me, taking advantage of who I am.
I NEED genuine HELP, please. That part...100knaira left and only 20k returned..  Some of these acclaimed close friends are something else...May God help us. 1 Like |
| Re: Help! I'm Too Nice And People Are Taking Advantage Of My Niceness. by InvertedHammer: 10:22pm On Jun 28, 2022 |
Travicon:
Hello Nairalanders,
I will try as much as possible to make the write-up short.
I am a 21years old guy at a Russian university with two Nigerian roommates (In the hostel though). We averagely get the same amount of money as an allowance monthly, but mine always finishes first.
I don't spend unnecessarily on myself, and we cook together. I discovered after two months of staying together that they care less about buying things that we generally use in the room. For instance, I always buy food season, detergents, and cooking oil (quite expensive).
I cook most of the time. Anytime I decide not to cook, we always go hungry and I can't cope with that. This has made my cash always run out faster and I can't stop them from eating my food or using the things I buy.
There was a time also I lend the last money with me (100k in naira) to my best friend then in Nigeria because he claimed his dad was sick and promised to repay by month-end. I didn't have anything to take me through the remaining days of the month but I gave it out because he was a close friend. Month-end, I couldn't get money from my sponsor because of some issues. I contacted my guy but he stopped replying to me on WhatsApp. I managed to get 20k but the rest is probably history now.
Whenever people talk about their problems, I always feel for them to the extent of giving out my money even if it's the last cash on me. I have never had a girlfriend, but I don't always have the strength to reject if a girl asks for airtime or money from me (including my mum and sisters though)
I always try to go to any length to see people happy even if it means borrowing money from another person for them. I'm that foolish. Generally, I'm too soft-hearted and nice but I don't know how to solve this problem. Someone advised me I should get a girlfriend who should always be angry with me if I'm being too nice to people and that will help me solve the problem to some extent but I think it won't.
I'm not from a rich family, not even from an average family. I'm even from a polygamous home so I know what it means to have suffered as a Nigerian. I was on the street and I guess that's what is making me this weak emotionally. I'm a simp all-around in my life and relationship with people. People are always cheating on me, taking advantage of who I am.
I NEED genuine HELP, please. / Look at the kind of people that Nigerians worship. It is a pointer to their mindset. No soul who is kind to Nigerians ever lived to tell the story. You will continue to learn the hard way until you reach the point of no return. You think you are nice but they see you as a f00l. / 5 Likes |
| Re: Help! I'm Too Nice And People Are Taking Advantage Of My Niceness. by Meedon: 10:22pm On Jun 28, 2022 |
michlins:
You're a good person. Unfortunately this world is rigged against your kind.
I can't advise you to become like the demons of this world but I will advise you to love yourself more. Before you help,help yourself first.
The world needs people like you. Be safe and stay good I swear, they Will never appreciate thé kind ones. Manipulations, hère and thère. 1 Like |
| Re: Help! I'm Too Nice And People Are Taking Advantage Of My Niceness. by Stainless44: 10:23pm On Jun 28, 2022 |
I've been in your shoes many times bro. I'll advise you to advise yourself and be very careful. I was like that and had just 3 true friends who i could count on till today. But overtime people complained that i should have more friends and start building connections. Guess what? It was a disaster and I've been suffering and regretting same thing back to back until i spoke to myself.
You should understand that this country is not like before again and people are surviving not living again. They will use your at the slightest opportunity.
I'll advise you to make yourself, God and family your priority. And scrutinize people before calling them your friends. Most importantly for your peace of mind, never expect anyone will treat you the way you treat them. Know this and know peace 4 Likes |
| Re: Help! I'm Too Nice And People Are Taking Advantage Of My Niceness. by Slayar: 10:29pm On Jun 28, 2022 |
Travicon:
Hello Nairalanders,
I will try as much as possible to make the write-up short.
I am a 21years old guy at a Russian university with two Nigerian roommates (In the hostel though). We averagely get the same amount of money as an allowance monthly, but mine always finishes first.
I don't spend unnecessarily on myself, and we cook together. I discovered after two months of staying together that they care less about buying things that we generally use in the room. For instance, I always buy food season, detergents, and cooking oil (quite expensive).
I cook most of the time. Anytime I decide not to cook, we always go hungry and I can't cope with that. This has made my cash always run out faster and I can't stop them from eating my food or using the things I buy.
There was a time also I lend the last money with me (100k in naira) to my best friend then in Nigeria because he claimed his dad was sick and promised to repay by month-end. I didn't have anything to take me through the remaining days of the month but I gave it out because he was a close friend. Month-end, I couldn't get money from my sponsor because of some issues. I contacted my guy but he stopped replying to me on WhatsApp. I managed to get 20k but the rest is probably history now.
Whenever people talk about their problems, I always feel for them to the extent of giving out my money even if it's the last cash on me. I have never had a girlfriend, but I don't always have the strength to reject if a girl asks for airtime or money from me (including my mum and sisters though)
I always try to go to any length to see people happy even if it means borrowing money from another person for them. I'm that foolish. Generally, I'm too soft-hearted and nice but I don't know how to solve this problem. Someone advised me I should get a girlfriend who should always be angry with me if I'm being too nice to people and that will help me solve the problem to some extent but I think it won't.
I'm not from a rich family, not even from an average family. I'm even from a polygamous home so I know what it means to have suffered as a Nigerian. I was on the street and I guess that's what is making me this weak emotionally. I'm a simp all-around in my life and relationship with people. People are always cheating on me, taking advantage of who I am.
I NEED genuine HELP, please. No you're not.You are insecure.You think giving and helping blindly will get people to love you and when they don't ,we get this kind of topic. 1 Like |
| Re: Help! I'm Too Nice And People Are Taking Advantage Of My Niceness. by ElBenny(m): 10:30pm On Jun 28, 2022 |
Go and read "No More Mr. Nice Guy."
Then come back and share your testimony 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Help! I'm Too Nice And People Are Taking Advantage Of My Niceness. by jaxxy(m): 10:31pm On Jun 28, 2022 |
Travicon:
Hello Nairalanders,
I will try as much as possible to make the write-up short.
I am a 21years old guy at a Russian university with two Nigerian roommates (In the hostel though). We averagely get the same amount of money as an allowance monthly, but mine always finishes first.
I don't spend unnecessarily on myself, and we cook together. I discovered after two months of staying together that they care less about buying things that we generally use in the room. For instance, I always buy food season, detergents, and cooking oil (quite expensive).
I cook most of the time. Anytime I decide not to cook, we always go hungry and I can't cope with that. This has made my cash always run out faster and I can't stop them from eating my food or using the things I buy.
There was a time also I lend the last money with me (100k in naira) to my best friend then in Nigeria because he claimed his dad was sick and promised to repay by month-end. I didn't have anything to take me through the remaining days of the month but I gave it out because he was a close friend. Month-end, I couldn't get money from my sponsor because of some issues. I contacted my guy but he stopped replying to me on WhatsApp. I managed to get 20k but the rest is probably history now.
Whenever people talk about their problems, I always feel for them to the extent of giving out my money even if it's the last cash on me. I have never had a girlfriend, but I don't always have the strength to reject if a girl asks for airtime or money from me (including my mum and sisters though)
I always try to go to any length to see people happy even if it means borrowing money from another person for them. I'm that foolish. Generally, I'm too soft-hearted and nice but I don't know how to solve this problem. Someone advised me I should get a girlfriend who should always be angry with me if I'm being too nice to people and that will help me solve the problem to some extent but I think it won't.
I'm not from a rich family, not even from an average family. I'm even from a polygamous home so I know what it means to have suffered as a Nigerian. I was on the street and I guess that's what is making me this weak emotionally. I'm a simp all-around in my life and relationship with people. People are always cheating on me, taking advantage of who I am.
I NEED genuine HELP, please. I used to be like u till I learnt how to be selfish. lol Need I remind u even the good book "The bible" says love ur neighbour as urself NOT more than urself. i had to understand the people I'm helping every single damn time are only being selfish bt continuously asking without considering if its actually convenient for me or not. Then u give untill ure stuck and the sad part is when u need such support u might get none. So my advice is give when u can and don't give when it's not convenient for u unless if sm1 who reciprocate same energy when they equally have. As for ur stingy selfish neighbours they think u have more than enough to throw away. Lean to demand from them even when u have cos that's what they are doing. Demanding from u when they have. They will immediately understand ure no mare stupid. When cooking loud it that everyone should contribute cos u don't have enough to it so everyone can eat it together. If u don't ask them they will think u can do it alone. After announcing if they don't support do it and don't share with their asses the next time they will accept to contribute. Be nice bt not to the wrong people everytime or else ure being exploited. 1 Like |
| Re: Help! I'm Too Nice And People Are Taking Advantage Of My Niceness. by coputa(m): 10:35pm On Jun 28, 2022 |
FatherCHRISTMAS:
I read everything and must say I was once like you... I was once so kindhearted I'd do anything to please others.
But what later hardened me ? I honestly don't know....Probably the realization that people place more value on individuals who cause then pain than those who gives them joy.
This is not correct,Do you know that as a person you must learn the art of giving and assisting human.It is a skill.You must know the how,when and why of giving.If you assist wrongly,you will get negative response.Like what the op is complaining about,he is assisting wrongly,he allows his emotion to have full control over him.he does'nt know why,when and how he should help them,therefore he must face the consequencies. |
| Re: Help! I'm Too Nice And People Are Taking Advantage Of My Niceness. by cooltola(m): 10:37pm On Jun 28, 2022 |
I identify with you, i am too one of nicest guy out there until life taught me some lessons. Stop burrowing people money you can afford to lose permanently. 9 out of 10 do not pay. When they start talking N100000k to burrow i just become deaf. Na if they ask for N1000, i can give and will not worry if they pay me or not.
Be assertive and be nice at the same time,- learn to say no and stick to your no . Stop buying food for your roommates, just buy for yourself and let them fend for themselves. 1 Like |
| Re: Help! I'm Too Nice And People Are Taking Advantage Of My Niceness. by coputa(m): 10:38pm On Jun 28, 2022 |
FatherCHRISTMAS:
I read everything and must say I was once like you... I was once so kindhearted I'd do anything to please others.
But what later hardened me ? I honestly don't know....Probably the realization that people place more value on individuals who cause then pain than those who gives them joy.
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| Re: Help! I'm Too Nice And People Are Taking Advantage Of My Niceness. by Nobody: 10:39pm On Jun 28, 2022 |
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| Re: Help! I'm Too Nice And People Are Taking Advantage Of My Niceness. by Nobody: 10:39pm On Jun 28, 2022 |
1 Like 
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| Re: Help! I'm Too Nice And People Are Taking Advantage Of My Niceness. by texannaija: 10:40pm On Jun 28, 2022 |
Greatzeus:
" The day a man start calling himself humble,he has began to be proud"
Who told you you are TOO nice? Or you just looked at yourself and figured it out? Hmmmmm!!!!….Well said/typed… #ActiveThinking# |
| Re: Help! I'm Too Nice And People Are Taking Advantage Of My Niceness. by otipoju(m): 10:47pm On Jun 28, 2022 |
Travicon:
Hello Nairalanders,
I will try as much as possible to make the write-up short.
I am a 21years old guy at a Russian university with two Nigerian roommates (In the hostel though). We averagely get the same amount of money as an allowance monthly, but mine always finishes first.
I don't spend unnecessarily on myself, and we cook together. I discovered after two months of staying together that they care less about buying things that we generally use in the room. For instance, I always buy food season, detergents, and cooking oil (quite expensive).
I cook most of the time. Anytime I decide not to cook, we always go hungry and I can't cope with that. This has made my cash always run out faster and I can't stop them from eating my food or using the things I buy.
There was a time also I lend the last money with me (100k in naira) to my best friend then in Nigeria because he claimed his dad was sick and promised to repay by month-end. I didn't have anything to take me through the remaining days of the month but I gave it out because he was a close friend. Month-end, I couldn't get money from my sponsor because of some issues. I contacted my guy but he stopped replying to me on WhatsApp. I managed to get 20k but the rest is probably history now.
Whenever people talk about their problems, I always feel for them to the extent of giving out my money even if it's the last cash on me. I have never had a girlfriend, but I don't always have the strength to reject if a girl asks for airtime or money from me (including my mum and sisters though)
I always try to go to any length to see people happy even if it means borrowing money from another person for them. I'm that foolish. Generally, I'm too soft-hearted and nice but I don't know how to solve this problem. Someone advised me I should get a girlfriend who should always be angry with me if I'm being too nice to people and that will help me solve the problem to some extent but I think it won't.
I'm not from a rich family, not even from an average family. I'm even from a polygamous home so I know what it means to have suffered as a Nigerian. I was on the street and I guess that's what is making me this weak emotionally. I'm a simp all-around in my life and relationship with people. People are always cheating on me, taking advantage of who I am.
I NEED genuine HELP, please. Leaen to be saying NO. It will make you feel very guilty at first but with time you will get used to it. And its going to set you free. I am a living example. I go let you finish your cock and bull story and then analyse the story with you to find a way out that will not involve giving you one kobo. 1 Like |
