PREAMBLE

Very few people will wish to be involved in conflicts, which usually suggest negative connotations like Warfare, Disagreements, Opposition, Contradictions, Discord, Competitive or Opposing action of incompatibles, Antagonistic state or action( as of divergent ideas, interests or persons), Aggression, Expressions of hostility, Rivalry, Misunderstanding etc.

Mary Parker Follet simply defines Conflict as “The appearance of difference, difference of opinions, of interest”

Poorly managed Conflicts are known to contribute immensely to poor mental health, hence the need to acquire skills to identify conflicts and resolve them; Incidentally, conflicts have been found to be expedient for healthy relationships if well managed.

Conflict can be a powerful process, having both desirable and undesirable consequences; it can and should be managed properly and timely.

Conflicts are often unconscious, in the sense that the person may not be able to identify the source of the distress resulting from the conflict. Conflicts arise whenever individuals have different values, opinions, needs, interests and unable to find a middle way.

TYPES OF CONFLICT

Conflicts can be Intrapersonal (Conflicts involving only one individual and within the individual), Interpersonal(Conflict between two or more people in a larger organization, resulting from different personalities of different perspectives on how to accomplish goals); Intergroup (Conflict occurring between different groups within a larger organization or those who do have the same over-arching goals ) and Inter-organizational (Conflicts involving disputes between two or more organizations).

Most of the time, intrapersonal conflict is the root cause of interpersonal and other types of conflicts, if the intrapersonal conflict is not identified or mitigated on time; emphasis will be on intrapersonal conflict in this write-up.

INTRAPERSONAL CONFLICT

This conflict, occurring within the individual, when his or her motives are blocked or when facing two different decisions and cannot take the appropriate decision as he or she faces competing objectives and roles. The conflict within the individual is usually related to Value, where there is no conformity between his or her role and values; For instance, to avoid unwanted calls or visitors, a secretary may sometimes lie that his or her boss is not in the office; this could lead to conflicts within the secretary’s mind who may have adopted and improved the principle of telling the truth always.

This is the conflict that is experienced within the individual; this conflict arises out of your own thoughts, emotions, ideas, values and predispositions. It can occur when you are struggling between what you want to do and what you should do. In other words, Intrapersonal conflict can be experienced by an individual when his or her own goals, values or roles diverge; it could involve two competing desires or goals within the same person.

Some basic elements causing intrapersonal conflicts include Incompatibility, Unacceptability, Uncertainty, Frustration, goal conflict, role conflict.



“Should” and “Want”

This is the conflict humans face within themselves- a conflict between “Should” and “Want”; “Should” is always driven by the values, religious beliefs, up-bringing etc.” Wants “on the other hand are driven by factors like succumbing to an enticing environment, weaknesses of human nature like laziness or sloth, uncontrollable anger, envy, gluttony, pride. Intrapersonal conflict is part and parcel of human life; conflict arises whenever any kind of decision needs to be taken, be it important or unimportant. Every time a decision needs to be taken, “Should” and “Want” weigh on the person, based on which we take decision.

An example of an Intrapersonal conflict for instance, is between consuming alcohol or not for someone whose religious background calls for abstaining from alcohol, but whose social environment entices to consume alcohol. It can be same for moral values like Modesty, Honesty, Fidelity etc. Peer pressure and other circumstances could entice a person to diminish or “let go” the practice of these values in the same manner.

At times, “Should” wins and “Want” lose and vice- versa. Whenever “Should” loses, it leaves behind, a sense of guilt, having gone against a religious precept, or having committed a sin through indulging in a vice or vices and other forms of self-indulgence.

Individuals who develop unhealthy habits are also prone to conflicts within. Smoking for instance, is an unhealthy habit and most smokers may wish to quit the habit; however, the body , which is used to the “Want” of Nicotine, often wins the conflict between ”Should” and “Want”

Shopping Behaviour

When you don’t have a shopping plan, you end up buying more than you require when you visit a shopping mall. From the entrance to the exit, you could come across lots of enticing items and probably finally end up buying more than your budget, due to this conflict of “Want” winning.

NEGATIVE EFFECTS OF INTRAPERSONAL CONFLICTS

Intrapersonal conflicts reveal themselves through different attitudes and behaviour, originating from self-induced, emotional or inner feelings which may include frustrations and emotional instability

Unresolved Intrapersonal conflicts can sometimes have devastating effects on the mental health; it can diminish mental health considerably. Some people, irrespective of “Should”, are completely driven by “Want”, desiring to be esteemed, extolled and other egoistic manifestations, believing that flowing along with others, they will be freed of intrapersonal conflict. Others who understand the importance of “Should” and give in to “Want”, often become indecisive and confused or start depending on others to take decisions for them. Decision-making becomes tough at times, as every action has consequences, positive or negative; it is always important to accept one’s decisions and live by them.



OVERCOMING INTRAPERSONAL CONFLICT

It is worthwhile to always take cognizance of the spiritual dimension of the human person, which has to do with Thinking and Willing.

To overcome conflict, you need to constantly grow in self- knowledge, understanding of issues and other aspects of the enlightenment of the intellect. Getting optimal enlightenment will help you attain firm convictions and aid in making firm and good decisions. You need to constantly grow in virtues, grounded in good principles and committed to thinking, speaking and acting for the highest motives; avoiding vain glory, fleeing from societal or environmental expectation that may not be in accordance with your values will all help avoid intrapersonal conflicts and its negative consequences.

You need to exercise a strong will power in living and acting according to your convictions; Overcoming intrapersonal conflict is by not letting your “Want” to overpower” Should”.

It is also essential to check from time to time your” Shoulds”, to ensure that they are real solid principles. It is usually helpful in resolving intrapersonal conflict, to involve other people- family, friend, spiritual director/ counsellor, co-worker etc, sharing your thoughts and ideas that cause internal conflict, to help sort them out. Learn to listen to yourself, understand yourself, develop constantly, growth in self-awareness. The exercise of the virtue of Humility is paramount in identifying and resolving intrapersonal conflict.

CONCLUSION

It is heartening to know that when intrapersonal conflicts have been identified and acknowledged and the necessary actions have been taken to resolve them, there is a growth in maturity on the part of the person. There is increased self- knowledge, self- mastery, acquisition of virtue- all of which will contribute immensely to positive productive relationships on the interpersonal, intergroup and inter-organizational levels. With good intrapersonal management skills in place, individuals will be stimulated to exert more effort, create productive and creative ideas, contribute to social changes etc. In the final analysis, the identification, acknowledgement and appropriate resolution of conflicts, particularly the intrapersonal type, contributes immensely to wellness.

Caroline Ademiluyi is a Lagos, Nigeria based Pharmacist.

SOURCE: https://africavoiceshq.com/2022/05/11/the-role-of-conflicts-by-caroline-ademiluyi/