I am a fortysomething man in a long-term relationship – nearly 20 years – and have two children. For the past 10 years my partner has been having short-term lovers. These were clandestine, but more recently she has stopped hiding, called our relationship “open”, and currently has a lover who I do know about. But this “open relationship” can only be one-sided, because she is jealous and suspicious while I am basically not polyamorous. So why stay together? We get on, communicate well (other than the no-go zone of her other love life), rarely argue, are bonded by bringing up our children and are financially tied together.

However, the years of suppressing my emotions – of jealousy, rejection, insecurity, being lied to – have left me broken. Sex (which we still occasionally do have) has become stressed: if I don’t perform enthusiastically, it will justify her seeking other lovers. Also, I am expected to remain sexually attracted to her, which gets more difficult when I know she’s been with someone else recently. We had frank talks when she offered to end her extramarital affairs and be monogamous with me – or plan how we might separate without affecting our children. We were both very upset, as we are very much still in love, and wish the sex side of our relationship wasn’t such a terrible mess.

But it has occurred to me that I am emotionally and sexually broken after this past decade. If I was single again – or my partner was to become monogamous with me again – I don’t think I would be a viable person to be in a relationship with. How do I start to repair myself, inside or outside this relationship?

Any advice would be cool.

We have run out of advice for y'all SIMPle men .

cherryCola:
continue.....

nice idea i mean whats life without fun

she broke your spirit and made you to become who she wants you to be....to the point that you even believe you wouldnt be good enough to anyone but her. as much as you hate the thought, you have to get away from this negative woman as you will never ever be valued by her again...so why stay?! you guys are roommates at best.

the future you dont know, is way better than what you are experiencing now...which is basically "nothing"!

MrBrownJay1:
she broke your spirit and made you to become who she wants you to be....to the point that you even believe you wouldnt be good enoug to anyone but her. as much as you hate the thought, you have to get away from this negative woman as you will never ever be valued by her again,,,,so why stay?!

the future you dont know, is way better than what you are experiencing now...which is basically "nothing"!

Bless you mr brown jay

Cassahav:
[url]Instagram.com/Casssa01[/url] kindly follow me

I am a fortysomething man in a long-term relationship – nearly 20 years – and have two children. For the past 10 years my partner has been having short-term lovers. These were clandestine, but more recently she has stopped hiding, called our relationship “open”, and currently has a lover who I do know about. But this “open relationship” can only be one-sided, because she is jealous and suspicious while I am basically not polyamorous. So why stay together? We get on, communicate well (other than the no-go zone of her other love life), rarely argue, are bonded by bringing up our children and are financially tied together.

However, the years of suppressing my emotions – of jealousy, rejection, insecurity, being lied to – have left me broken. Sex (which we still occasionally do have) has become stressed: if I don’t perform enthusiastically, it will justify her seeking other lovers. Also, I am expected to remain sexually attracted to her, which gets more difficult when I know she’s been with someone else recently. We had frank talks when she offered to end her extramarital affairs and be monogamous with me – or plan how we might separate without affecting our children. We were both very upset, as we are very much still in love, and wish the sex side of our relationship wasn’t such a terrible mess.

But it has occurred to me that I am emotionally and sexually broken after this past decade. If I was single again – or my partner was to become monogamous with me again – I don’t think I would be a viable person to be in a relationship with. How do I start to repair myself, inside or outside this relationship?

Any advice would be cool.

Will smith , is this you homie ?

rickleye:


Will smith , is this you homie ?

Lol ad slap the shit out of you if you make a joke on my family

This life nah cruise sha. Some persons dey go broken out of thinking about wentin dem go chop the next day, others dey broken cause of woman. Hahahaha.

OP, I no dey laugh your situation. I just dey talk say life no balance.

Johntitus:


This life nah cruise sha. Some persons dey go broken out of thinking about wentin dem go chop the next day, others dey broken cause of woman. Hahahaha.

OP, I no dey laugh your situation. I just dey talk say life no balance.

Omo i understand the situation but i guess you be single man do you really know what love is??

Cassahav:


Lol ad slap the shit out of you if you make a joke on my family

Lol � .

rickleye:


Lol � .

This one don sweet you bar?

Omo i understand the situation but i guess you be single man do you really know what love is??



I am still single and I know what love is. Love to me nah my papa, mama, and siblings. No die 'wrongfully' like Fela talk o. Lol

Cassahav:
But it has occurred to me that I am emotionally and sexually broken after this past decade. If I was single again – or my partner was to become monogamous with me again – I don’t think I would be a viable person to be in a relationship with. How do I start to repair myself, inside or outside this relationship?

Any advice would be cool.

Make an appointment with a mental health counselor and seek help with finding yourself first. You may have lost you in that jungle that lasted over a decade. Seek help to help find you again and drag you out of where you are so you can begin anew.

Then go from there.

Kobojunkie:
Make an appointment with a mental health counselor and seek help with finding yourself first. You may have lost you in that jungle that lasted over a decade. Seek help to help find you again and drag you out of where you are so you can begin anew.

Then go from there.

okay junkie

Cassahav:
okay junkie

I am serious! I mean what you describe there reads a lot like some serious mindbending sheet you did to yourself there...

Cassahav:
For the past 10 years my partner has been having short-term lovers. These were clandestine, but more recently she has stopped hiding, called our relationship “open”, and currently has a lover who I do know about. But this “open relationship” can only be one-sided, because she is jealous and suspicious while I am basically not polyamorous. ...
However, the years of suppressing my emotions – of jealousy, rejection, insecurity, being lied to – have left me broken. Sex (which we still occasionally do have) has become stressed: if I don’t perform enthusiastically, it will justify her seeking other lovers. Also, I am expected to remain sexually attracted to her, .....

... that can only maybe happen when one has has seriously lost one's self.

Your living yet you are dead inside

I love this write-up. I hope it's real and not something copied from somewhere else.

She's your baby momma from what I read. Emotions are turbulent concerning such cases. All you can do is focus on yourself and do right for your children. The only time you should let her actions disturb you is after putting a ring on her finger, which you haven't, so why call the situation a marriage in the first place?

It's time for a divorce. Your partner has basically been cheating on you for the duration of your relationship. You need to take time for yourself to heal once you divorce your partner. Then, when you're ready, find a new person who will treat you the way you should be treated.

Holly Gram PESIN wey get PROBLEM no de speak GRAMMAR!

LITE UP my WEED in peace

WTF MAN!

A completely finished man.
This is what happens when simps let women break them down, basically manipulating every strand of their thinking faculty.

How low can a man go as to not realise he is being taken for a fool?
Probably in your yesteryears, you were denigrating Redpillers and joining forces with women to call them names. Now the chicken has come home to roost.

Weak men like you deserve no sympathy.
You disgust me.

Cassahav:

I am a fortysomething man in a long-term relationship – nearly 20 years – and have two children. For the past 10 years my partner has been having short-term lovers. These were clandestine, but more recently she has stopped hiding, called our relationship “open”, and currently has a lover who I do know about. But this “open relationship” can only be one-sided, because she is jealous and suspicious while I am basically not polyamorous. So why stay together? We get on, communicate well (other than the no-go zone of her other love life), rarely argue, are bonded by bringing up our children and are financially tied together.

However, the years of suppressing my emotions – of jealousy, rejection, insecurity, being lied to – have left me broken. Sex (which we still occasionally do have) has become stressed: if I don’t perform enthusiastically, it will justify her seeking other lovers. Also, I am expected to remain sexually attracted to her, which gets more difficult when I know she’s been with someone else recently. We had frank talks when she offered to end her extramarital affairs and be monogamous with me – or plan how we might separate without affecting our children. We were both very upset, as we are very much still in love, and wish the sex side of our relationship wasn’t such a terrible mess.

But it has occurred to me that I am emotionally and sexually broken after this past decade. If I was single again – or my partner was to become monogamous with me again – I don’t think I would be a viable person to be in a relationship with. How do I start to repair myself, inside or outside this relationship?

Any advice would be cool.

Please how can I unread this rubbish? Past decade in a one sided open relationship? Who do you bad gan, why will you repair yourself? Just continue managing it as you've been doing, continue being in love, na wah, people day, I sincerely hope you don't pass this streak to your male kids.

pussy ass nigga

oilmane:



Please how can I unread this rubbish? Past decade in a one sided open relationship? Who do you bad gan, why will you repair yourself? Just continue managing it as you've been doing, continue being in love, na wah, people day, I sincerely hope you don't pass this streak to your male kids.

calm down love is real

Jayrockk:
pussy ass nigga

Lol is that your pastor

satandeterrible:
A completely finished man.
This is what happens when simps let women break them down, basically manipulating every strand of their thinking faculty.

How low can a man go as to not realise he is being taken for a fool?
Probably in your yesteryears, you were denigrating Redpillers and joining forces with women to call them names. Now the chicken has come home to roost.

Weak men like you deserve no sympathy.
You disgust me.

Omo

jimmychang:
Your living yet you are dead inside

Whew!!!!

It’s hard to imagine my girlfriend cheating talk more of my wife, either ways I can’t be with someone who I know cheated, u have a kind heart and hate wahala, I can’t advice u bro, am not yet married, but one thing z for sure, divorce her ASAP

Firstly, I think you should do a DNA test on your kids to confirm they are yours.

Secondly, you have no obligation to her. Dump her, give yourself time, possibly a year, then start dating again. Within this time try to sincerely discover yourself.

Just big big grammar upandan

Oga you are old enough to decide what suits you best

Take into consideration your children

For a 43 yrs Old man to be reason like this 16 year old beat my imagination

Cassahav:

I am a fortysomething man in a long-term relationship – nearly 20 years – and have two children. For the past 10 years my partner has been having short-term lovers. These were clandestine, but more recently she has stopped hiding, called our relationship “open”, and currently has a lover who I do know about. But this “open relationship” can only be one-sided, because she is jealous and suspicious while I am basically not polyamorous. So why stay together? We get on, communicate well (other than the no-go zone of her other love life), rarely argue, are bonded by bringing up our children and are financially tied together.

However, the years of suppressing my emotions – of jealousy, rejection, insecurity, being lied to – have left me broken. Sex (which we still occasionally do have) has become stressed: if I don’t perform enthusiastically, it will justify her seeking other lovers. Also, I am expected to remain sexually attracted to her, which gets more difficult when I know she’s been with someone else recently. We had frank talks when she offered to end her extramarital affairs and be monogamous with me – or plan how we might separate without affecting our children. We were both very upset, as we are very much still in love, and wish the sex side of our relationship wasn’t such a terrible mess.

But it has occurred to me that I am emotionally and sexually broken after this past decade. If I was single again – or my partner was to become monogamous with me again – I don’t think I would be a viable person to be in a relationship with. How do I start to repair myself, inside or outside this relationship?

Any advice would be cool.

shes getting bleeped openly n u wondering why u feeling down


U deserve flogging