I Am Sad - Family (5) - Nairaland
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I’m Sad! Mum Is Having An Affair Six Month’s After Dad’s Death’ / Why The Modern Woman Is Sad / Sad Facts About Modern Family Life (2) (3) (4)
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| Re: I Am Sad by Nobody: 10:28pm On Jul 18, 2011 |
for the age, is he a footballer?!!  |
| Re: I Am Sad by WhyAWhy(m): 10:29pm On Jul 18, 2011 |
Two things are clear here: 1. The OP doesn't really understand the Nigerian Culture and how we relate - You are the mother of the children as well as his wife infact the fact that he uses the first one gives you more credibility in the heart of his folks, my 1 cent. Just the same way most wives would call their husbands the father of their children 2. Facebook is so overrated, why should you use it as an avenue for familiarity, what happened to mobile phones. One Uncle of mine who has refused to be in touch with us in Nigeria was infuriated that my sister (who doesnt even have time) didn't add him on facebook. Take social media of real avenues for relating with family, I definitely won't even start adding my g.fs family members on facebook to show acceptance, up till now, I have not accepted my lil sis' bf. request 'cos I did rather establish rapport on another level, not FACEBOOK!!! smh** |
| Re: I Am Sad by Sike(m): 10:45pm On Jul 18, 2011 |
londoner:LWKMD! |
| Re: I Am Sad by leyom234: 10:57pm On Jul 18, 2011 |
My dear sister, nothing is wrong wit your husband. what has happened is a matter of clashes of culture.you need to study our ways and understand it better. for the age thing,yes he lied about his age but majority of us do it for economic reasons. Employers and even our government are the causes of age falsification. Ok take a look at me. at 29, it is believed that am still very young and vibrant but the government is recruiting into the police force at present and they have set an age barrier of 28. Does it mean am gonna let the opportunity pass me by when I dont have stable job yet? that is just a typical reason why i av to adjust my age to suit what people want. am happy u confirm that his people are good to you anyway. count yourself lucky cos some other people may not be that nice. trust your husband and dont listen to gossips. some white ladies may be out there waiting for tick to your he time you'll break up to fix themselves up with him. so stick to your darling. |
| Re: I Am Sad by BABE3: 11:00pm On Jul 18, 2011 |
vokal_guy: Ki lo n ma se awon' mi tan ma n behave ba'i na?  |
| Re: I Am Sad by ojdollars(m): 11:04pm On Jul 18, 2011 |
@SarahMaria , I pity that Nigerian Man who even got married to you in the first Place. Reading your Post, I could sense how you really treat that our Snr Bros (Your Nice and Loving Husband) over there, because you were the one who perhaps cleaned him up, you now think you can control him, insult him, be very very rude to him like we already know you white people for. I know very well that you are doing thinsg unpleasing to the man, and moreover it's now cleared that your Husband love you very much, not for the papers, that was why He was even bold enough to say "I am going out with my Kids and my Kids Mom". You should be grateful you met a good Nigerian who has not even carry his children and run, leaving you in your house. Speaking from the word of God, Ephesians 5:21-32, 1 Timothy 2:11 - 12. The World English Bible Explained it this way "A woman should quietly learn from others with entire submissiveness" . One quote that is very c'mon, it says the constant thing is life is changes and what brought about this changes is challenges. If you refuse to change, you end up in chains. God blesses those who are not listening to non-spiritually minded people, if you have a problem, consult with your pastor or your group co-ordinator in church. You have step your boundary, you have no right to check your husbands phone, emails, facebook which is just a creative imagination stuff, nairaland account or post or anything. You have no right at all SarahMaria. You have to respect your husband, submit yourself totally to him, don't compare him to others, don't talk back at him, when he is angry, keep quiet, whenever he scold you, just keep calm. Always ask him what he wants, always prepare a good meal for him, give him good sex, good reason for him to rush home, we all from this part of the world knows the kind of up-bringing and legacy that parents and guardians in the EU, NA, SA, AS, AU Continent has bequeathed to their folks, their kids. You don't treat him low because He is a Nigerian, He is 10times better than any other man out there. Alwaus discuss issues with him, you guys suspect anyone with a black skin for everything they do and in everyway they act. ADVICE: You should live an examplary life so your kids can learn from you, if you not born again yet, then look for a Bible believing Church around and ask them to lead you to Christ, cause a life without Christ is full of Crisis too. And because you are beautiful doesn't mean you shouldn't be dutiful. Be close to Jesus, a woman who prays all the time hardly curse, insult and engage in fighting. Mrs.SarahMaria, from your post, you seem very controlling really, and it seems that you know that no man can tolerate you the way your Husband is that's why you don't want a Divorce, change your attitude or you end up in chains. CONCLUSION: I know that I might not have given the best advice that you really looking for, but take out the SENSE from all the NON-SENSE I have been able to put up in writing to you via this Forum, then you would be amazed at how things would turn around for you in your Home. God Bless you. |
| Re: I Am Sad by vokalguy(m): 11:16pm On Jul 18, 2011 |
BABE!: ki lo n se iwo gan, se ebi mi ni pe ko ma oyinbo so? nonsense |
| Re: I Am Sad by TheNess(f): 11:25pm On Jul 18, 2011 |
@ ojdollars: You must be really high on cheap drugs or stupidity. A woman comes here with a problem obviously caused by a clash of cultures- very simple really, and you want to crucify her. You're the kind that practice your version of 'born-againism' with wickedness with all your stupid insinuations and judgements. Abeg park well jare. See the huge load of rubbish you have the nerve to write. You're so judgemental you must be a really sad person. Pastor ko, group coordinator ni. Oversabi. Mtscheeeew @ Poster: Like a bunch of people have said, he meant no harm in referring to you as their mum. In these parts that's a usual, even fond form of address. Women refer to their husbands this way too, and it's not uncommon to hear people call their spouses by names coined from their children's. Kinda like Mama SarahMaria or Mummy SarahMaria for your mum, for instance.  Not very romantic, I know, but it's part of how we are  However, communication is key in any relationship. If you're unclear about anything, talk to him about it, preferably lovingly without sounding accusatory. Cheer up. Wish ya a happy marriage. ojdollars: |
| Re: I Am Sad by ThiefOfHearts(f): 11:28pm On Jul 18, 2011 |
TheNess: Rofl |
| Re: I Am Sad by ojdollars(m): 11:36pm On Jul 18, 2011 |
@TheNess , I want to believe that even though you have traveled, it isn't more than Lagos or ABJ, perhaps Tinapa. I have been to 35 Nations of this earth, some for Business and Tourism. I am a Nigerian, I have met other Nigerian men, and sometimes the conversation with them ends with tears falling down my cheeks. Do you know how this white women treats our beloved 9JA Broda's over there? She hasn't told the whole truth about what happen, she just said a few line to favor her side, you TheNess, you have a problem in your head and you need check-up as quick as possible. Don't try to pull any insult here as I haven't done that to ya, Find a life |
| Re: I Am Sad by lastpage: 11:48pm On Jul 18, 2011 |
Am sure the Poster herself must be having a good laugh seeing how insulting and sometimes uncouth, our Naija ladies are to each other! Wetin?   Yeah, thats what we gat to live with, ourselves! @poster: Relax and enjoy life with your man; otherwise, like "quicksand", the only way you'll go is "down-down"! Cheers. |
| Re: I Am Sad by TheNess(f): 11:50pm On Jul 18, 2011 |
@ ojdollars: Oya, clap for yourself. So all that your trips and exposure have done is teach you how to judge someone you don't know by what others do, just because they happen to have the same skin colour? No further comment (For now) |
| Re: I Am Sad by Jenifa1: 11:55pm On Jul 18, 2011 |
I am confused, but I am afraid to ask. . . why are you afraid to ask your husband simple questions? it's a nigerian culture thing for a husband to refer to his wife spouse as their 'child's mum'. even nigerian wives call their husbands their 'child's dad' and the age thing you found on facebook of all places. lol why are you so worried about that. I will agree with Chima that there might be other issues that you are not revealing to us. because to me, your inability to ask your husband these simple questions makes me wonder what other things you are afraid to ask him. |
| Re: I Am Sad by dayokanu(m): 12:10am On Jul 19, 2011 |
ThiefOfHearts: Age is nothing, Personally in High School and College, I have lied to girls that i am older than I was. Which might be a bad thing, Why havent you told me your age since and why did you state on facebk that you are a sweet 17 instead of 70 |
| Re: I Am Sad by BABE3: 12:14am On Jul 19, 2011 |
vokal_guy: Wetin you dey talk? See as you dey murder Yoruba--- |
| Re: I Am Sad by sleekch1c(f): 12:49am On Jul 19, 2011 |
@op,I think u need to talk to him. Why wld her lie abt his age to u?damn these difficult 9ja guys.and yes I will be worried if my man refers to me dat way esecialluy to another woman.sister ko,sister ni mtchew! |
| Re: I Am Sad by swing4real(m): 12:52am On Jul 19, 2011 |
You guys should not waste your time on her. She is just looking for excuse to leave the dude.Probably she has found another new black cock.The worst thing any brother would do is to trust a white girl.They are like weather. They are never constant. |
| Re: I Am Sad by 9ijaprince(m): 1:04am On Jul 19, 2011 |
your childrens father loves you. |
| Re: I Am Sad by princeonx: 1:59am On Jul 19, 2011 |
make una talk anything wey una like but I beg una make any of you no swear on behalf of that woman husband cux una no really know the guy mind. una just dey yearn like say bobos no dey marry oyibo again for papers both for Europe, Yankee, and Jand. una dey yearn like say we nigerians no dey change our age again both for kpali and during aduro! una dey yearn like say una no know say the guy sisters fit no even like the oyibo woman rather them go preffer their brother to marry naija woman! how una sure say the so called sister for facebook no be our guy wife sef? I honestly no even get anything to tell this woman cux she surpose start by asking the guy first before coming to NL but at the same time make una no dey yearn like say our guy na saint because this same woman fit come back here next month to tell us say him don waka! that time una go open the same mouth to tell her say na papers him want! |
| Re: I Am Sad by mamagee3(f): 2:16am On Jul 19, 2011 |
Calm down, woman. . .It's not the end of the world. . . |
| Re: I Am Sad by DExplorer1: 2:43am On Jul 19, 2011 |
Your quick submission is absurd and that tells alot about your mind. Despite the fact that there are questions regarding his age & co that you need to ask (he should have been sincere about that), you thinking he's with you for the papers makes me think you're with him for something. Either you "pity" him and marry him for the papers or to have kids from him and sign him out. You Need To Read These! After Aborting 3 Times For Him, He's Set To Marry Another Lady This Month. 21 Reasons He Hasn't Proposed to You Yet 16 Regular Mistakes Singles Make in Relationships 25 Warning Signs of a Possible Break up in Your Relationship 16 Raw but Bitter Truths Ladies Must Know |
| Re: I Am Sad by pleep(m): 2:44am On Jul 19, 2011 |
ojdollars:With all due respect man, shut up. The only reason she is so suspicious is because so many people have been telling her horror stories about Nigerian men. who can blame her for being worried? Edit: you actually have a very important point, I apologize. |
| Re: I Am Sad by Pafuri(m): 2:53am On Jul 19, 2011 |
It is my considered opinion that SarahMaria has since left the building. |
| Re: I Am Sad by kosoro: 3:50am On Jul 19, 2011 |
To refer to one's wife as the "children's mom" is a common thing with nigerian men. If you have any suspicion, i encourage you just talk to him then. |
| Re: I Am Sad by dyvinson7: 5:14am On Jul 19, 2011 |
@SarahMaria , Personally, i think you are about to draw a fire you can not quench. You are trying to draw inference to you assumption. Many have broken their home just like that. Its not new that men not only Nigerians would want favor of any kind to try stay in Europe or Americas, however, one should not reach quick conclusion that all want you for paper. White people and black people marry each other without the need of paper or any favor and still have problem, which means there is no perfect home. There is cultural barrier here. A wife is the mother of the children, that is Nigeria culture. However, while your inference may be true, i think you should trend softly. You can blow up your house if you try to ignite a time bomb. Nigeria women face similar issue with Nigeria men, its not new and its not synonymous to Nigeria men. What i think you should do is to try win your husband heart everyday. Make it a duty to make him happy, dont argue with him and if things have to be true, do not fight, but prove to him with your good character that you are the best woman for him. Console yourself with your children and create joy for yourself by focusing on the children, your action can do alot to reject any wife offer that you think his sisters might have organized for him. Also in term of age, dont let that bother you. Things happen, everyone would do that if its the way to get paper or visa. find reason to love your husband and don't give in cheaply by allowing someone if true there is one out there to take him away. Always remember how great he is as you have earlier said and create reason to love him more. You can manage your husband if you want and you can mismanage him if you do not handle the situation well. I will advice that you do not ask him anything, ignore and treat him well. He could confess to you voluntarily. |
| Re: I Am Sad by agentmag: 5:29am On Jul 19, 2011 |
You don't need to be bother the language he used for you is a purely Africa language.Let me give an instance if child ask African father "are you crazy dad?" is big offence but to u it may be nothing but just a question. |
| Re: I Am Sad by TmeD0(m): 5:42am On Jul 19, 2011 |
**sniffs** one of these days sha, NL folks go fit differentiate a bot from a real person all folks had to do was take a look at the fake a(ss) pic OP carry put profile. . .oh well . . . |
| Re: I Am Sad by http(m): 5:48am On Jul 19, 2011 |
women, give them dikkk, they want phussy, haba! |
| Re: I Am Sad by werepeLeri: 7:15am On Jul 19, 2011 |
Some responses are as stupid just as the people who write them. Someone wants an answer and all you can give her is more misery. EEdiots. |
| Re: I Am Sad by VALIDATOR: 7:40am On Jul 19, 2011 |
@SarahMaria, If he called you the mother of his children,it is because he loves you so much.In our culture,we believe that children are the fruits of a productive marriage.I guess you have to try and understand the Nigerian (black African origin) culture better. If he lied about his age,it is because he must have faced a situation where his real age put him at a disadvantage.He needed the falsified age to forge ahead in life.He means absolutely no harm to you or to your government or the rest of humanity. When I wanted to start public primary school,I was less than the officially admissible age so my parents got me another birth certificate to increase my age.They meant no harm to anybody or the government.They just didn't want a smart kid like me to stay another year at home. Hold tight to your man and stop worrying over non existing problems. |
| Re: I Am Sad by kuzinaa: 7:45am On Jul 19, 2011 |
Poster why are you so sad, Where i am here some of my girlfriends are married to white men & even have children. So is not a new ftin. Cheer up. |
| Re: I Am Sad by carnal: 8:35am On Jul 19, 2011 |
afta page 2 d OP no gree respond again am sure she don get d message enuff abi na our usual 9ja katakata we tak chase her ? |
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