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Please Help! Should I Attend The Wedding Or Not? - Romance - Nairaland

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Please Help! Should I Attend The Wedding Or Not? by IamDora(f): 11:02pm On Jun 01, 2022
Dear Nairalanders, Good evening to you all. I'm in a state of delima right now and I'm so confused on what to do that's why I decided to bring the issue here.

I have a Cousin, he's wealthy and we used to be very close to each other, we do alot of things and talking together. Even when we do meet at Villa during festive periods, we are always together 24/7 that people do think I'm the one eating his money. (If cousins were to marry each other, we would've married ourselves)

So fast forward to 2020, things began to take a new turn, he began to change towards me completely, he hardly picks my calls, neither does he reach out to me thereafter to know why I called (Mind you, I'm not a leech to him, as my family were very comfortable too) When I lost my mom (May her soul rest in peace) this my said cousin never called me to sympathize with me, and I didn't hold it against him either. He started giving me space, I tried everything possible to know why the sudden space from him, but to no avail. So I kept my cool and distanced myself from him.

So fast forward to this 2022, his fiancee (Whom I knew her from him) called me on the 20th of last month to tell me that their wedding is on the 18th of this month and she would so much like me to be in attendance! My cousin never bothered informing me about it even till now!

Now my question is,' Should I honour the said invitation by his Fiancee and attend their wedding or I should stay back and call her to wish her Happy Married Life after their Wedding? embarassed

Please help me push this to front page so I'll get a wider audience to share their opinions.

Thank you.

35 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Please Help! Should I Attend The Wedding Or Not? by EmzyT: 11:03pm On Jun 01, 2022
DO NOT GO!

I don't know you in person, but to be very honest with you, I'll be so mad and angry at you if you should attend that wedding without your so-called Cousin inviting you.

As long as you said your own family are comfortable too and you or any of your family member(s) ain't leeching on him, then he shouldn't be behaving as if he's doing you a favour by relating with you. sad

When people want you to give them space, do well to give them Distance . You don't treat people as an Option and Expect to be treated as a Priority!
undecided

This life no suppose hard!!!!

572 Likes 34 Shares

Re: Please Help! Should I Attend The Wedding Or Not? by FERNANDEZISBACK: 11:04pm On Jun 01, 2022
No do not cos you wasn't properly invited.. undecided
Ya cousin wouldn't be happy to see ya at his wedding..don't sweat it.. undecided

91 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Please Help! Should I Attend The Wedding Or Not? by Sheistoopretty(f): 11:04pm On Jun 01, 2022
Dear sis, in my own opinion I think you shouldn't go. If your very own cousin couldn't invite you, then I don't see the reason being there.


My take though.

150 Likes 6 Shares

Re: Please Help! Should I Attend The Wedding Or Not? by Kollins11: 11:04pm On Jun 01, 2022
Even if I had nothing doing on that day, I would rather cook half bag of beans, one by one with candle flames.

426 Likes 35 Shares

Re: Please Help! Should I Attend The Wedding Or Not? by Nazgul: 11:06pm On Jun 01, 2022
You should find out why he withdrew totally from you first before honouring the invitation.

Siblings and close cousins don't just cut off from each other for no reason unless he heard a rumour about a negative remark you made about him, or you provoked him, or did something that made him feel very bad without even knowing and he's been holding it against you.

My advice would be for you to call him. If you two reside in the same state, request for a meeting, and find out what went wrong and apologize.

Good luck.

42 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Please Help! Should I Attend The Wedding Or Not? by rickpat(m): 11:09pm On Jun 01, 2022
your cousin doesn't want you close anymore..... reasons best known to him...it would have been great if he stopped the cowardly attitude and teln you what you did wrong...but since he is not bold enough...let him be....don't go...the wife to be is not the one to invite you..

59 Likes

Re: Please Help! Should I Attend The Wedding Or Not? by fikayormi(m): 11:10pm On Jun 01, 2022
If I’m the one in your shoe ,

I won’t go

16 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Please Help! Should I Attend The Wedding Or Not? by BuhariNaWah: 11:15pm On Jun 01, 2022
FERNANDEZISBACK:
No do not cos you wasn't properly invited.. undecided
Ya cousin wouldn't be happy to see ya at his wedding..don't sweat it.. undecided
This one na Mexican abi na Indonesian?

29 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Please Help! Should I Attend The Wedding Or Not? by FERNANDEZISBACK: 11:16pm On Jun 01, 2022
BuhariNaWah:

This one na Mexican abi na Indonesian?
lipsrsealed lipsrsealed undecided
Re: Please Help! Should I Attend The Wedding Or Not? by Wizywiz(m): 11:17pm On Jun 01, 2022
If I was you I won't go.....since your cousin didn't invite you that means he doesn't fancy your presence..so just respect yourself and relax back.....after the wedding you call the wife or send her happy married life and.......life is too short to worry over irrelevancies

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Re: Please Help! Should I Attend The Wedding Or Not? by Cutehector(m): 11:27pm On Jun 01, 2022
Dont go.. Stay in your house

10 Likes

Re: Please Help! Should I Attend The Wedding Or Not? by justicechichex: 11:27pm On Jun 01, 2022
Omoh this one strong ohh.. I think it'll be more beta to find out why he started acting strangely towards u in da fess place b4 concluding weda or not to attend the marriage...

2 Likes

Re: Please Help! Should I Attend The Wedding Or Not? by EmzyT: 11:41pm On Jun 01, 2022
Kollins11:
Even if I had nothing doing on that day, I would rather cook half bag of beans, one by one with candle flames.

118 Likes

Re: Please Help! Should I Attend The Wedding Or Not? by EmzyT: 11:42pm On Jun 01, 2022
Nazgul:
You should find out why he withdrew totally from you first before honouring the invitation.

Siblings and close cousins don't just cut off from each other for no reason unless he heard a rumour about a negative remark you made about him, or you provoked him, or did something that made him feel very bad without even knowing and he's been holding it against you.

My advice would be for you to call him. If you two reside in the same state, request for a meeting, and find out what went wrong and apologize.

Good luck.


And he isn't Grown enough to share his feelings instead of keeping it to himself? undecided since he's not man enough to talk his mind, Let him keep keeping it to himself and I pray it chokes him to death one dayundecided

At OP, If you have any Iota of ’Self-respect’ left in you, Skip this Advice!

33 Likes 1 Share

Re: Please Help! Should I Attend The Wedding Or Not? by younglleo: 11:49pm On Jun 01, 2022
The invitation be like them use u gossip. Dont go!

83 Likes

Re: Please Help! Should I Attend The Wedding Or Not? by BobbyZrealist(m): 11:52pm On Jun 01, 2022
I can be extremely nice and caring...... But,the day you start acting up?
It will shock u the way I will treat you.
Don't try getting validation on your life from people.

Let everyone know they can lose you at anytime.
No Love lost,no Love found.

57 Likes 1 Share

Re: Please Help! Should I Attend The Wedding Or Not? by Cladez(m): 12:00am On Jun 02, 2022
This is beyond ignoring, you should find out the reason for his recent actions towards you judging by how close you were in the past.

There might be something he heard which you don’t know about.

8 Likes

Re: Please Help! Should I Attend The Wedding Or Not? by AsomArchitectNG(m): 12:01am On Jun 02, 2022
Respect should be reciprocated. He needs the distance, give him just that and don't go for the wedding.

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: Please Help! Should I Attend The Wedding Or Not? by Skullano(m): 12:16am On Jun 02, 2022
We as nairaland family member's don decide say you no go attend that wedding and if you ever attend without our permission, you go collect.

126 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Please Help! Should I Attend The Wedding Or Not? by slimjohn2k5: 12:40am On Jun 02, 2022
If u can reach out to him and hear from him, fine.
It is possible the wife to be separated you guys out of jealousy but now she want to marry him, she is more comfortable with u been around.

I once had a church member that joined my company and we relate well. But all of a sudden the guy started acting cold. I'm older than him but I kept been the one greeting him. It got to a point I called him and asked him what the matter is, he said nothing. Still I kept on greeting him. At some point I had to put myself together and act as if he doesn't exist till I left the company.

19 Likes 1 Share

Re: Please Help! Should I Attend The Wedding Or Not? by Nazgul: 12:41am On Jun 02, 2022
EmzyT:

And he isn't Grown enough to share his feelings instead of keeping it to himself? undecided since he's not man enough to talk his mind, Let him keep keeping it to himself and I pray it chokes him to death one dayundecided

At OP, If you have any Iota of ’Self-respect’ left in you, Skip this Advice!
I've met people who when you offend they just give you the silent treatment, cut off and move on.

There are also the ones who will call you immediately you offend them, talk and talk and talk until they get it off their chest.

I believe her cousin falls in the former group, it's not about being man enough it's their nature, they won't tell you. You're are the one that would notice their withdrawal and begin to sense that something is wrong.

When you begin to meet different kinds of people you'll understand what I'm saying much better.

33 Likes 7 Shares

Re: Please Help! Should I Attend The Wedding Or Not? by Sweetvie: 12:49am On Jun 02, 2022
I will advise you not to go
I mean, you don't need a crystal ball to tell you u ain't wanted there babe
M sure the wife just tell u so u won't say u didn't hear doesn't mean they want u there wink

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: Please Help! Should I Attend The Wedding Or Not? by Sweetvie: 12:50am On Jun 02, 2022
Kollins11:
Even if I had nothing doing on that day, I would rather cook half bag of beans, one by one with candle flames.
Aswear grin grin grin

12 Likes

Re: Please Help! Should I Attend The Wedding Or Not? by Nobody: 1:14am On Jun 02, 2022
Sheistoopretty:
Dear sis, in my own opinion I think you shouldn't go. If your very own cousin couldn't invite you, then I don't see the reason being there.


My take though.
Lawd, you really deserve that moniker.. I just need to tap that a$$ just once meehn grin .. will you give it to me? wink
Re: Please Help! Should I Attend The Wedding Or Not? by polite2(m): 4:14am On Jun 02, 2022
My dear sister, plz occupy yourself with profitable things instead of worrying yourself with your cousin, whom I considered as immature.

He better work on himself, else that so called marriage he is walkking into will never work out.

Malice and immaturity will crumble it

9 Likes

Re: Please Help! Should I Attend The Wedding Or Not? by Spy360(m): 5:56am On Jun 02, 2022
Attend only the church service. For record purposes. Do not spend more than 1hr there .

6 Likes

Re: Please Help! Should I Attend The Wedding Or Not? by Jack005(m): 6:02am On Jun 02, 2022
Nazgul:

I've met people who when you offend they just give you the silent treatment, cut off and move on.

There are also the ones who will call you immediately you offend them, talk and talk and talk until they get it off their chest.

I believe her cousin falls in the former group, it's not about being man enough it's their nature, they won't tell you. You're are the one that would notice their withdrawal and begin to sense that something is wrong.

When you begin to meet different kinds of people you'll understand what I'm saying much better.
She lost her mother and this same cousin didn't call her to Condol or sympathize with her and you are hear advising her to call him giving baseless excuses...Op do not follow this advice.. Do not call or attend that Wedding and cut off from that your cousin totally. You deserve better.

28 Likes

Re: Please Help! Should I Attend The Wedding Or Not? by Nobody: 6:02am On Jun 02, 2022
Attend the wedding, your said cousin might not even be holding anything against you, go and surprise him

3 Likes

Re: Please Help! Should I Attend The Wedding Or Not? by Nobody: 6:18am On Jun 02, 2022
Hmmm....
Omorr...
This one strong o...
OP...
I've put myself in your shoes and I will send him a voice note on WhatsApp, and the voice note will look something like this....

"You and I used to be very close way back, but it hasn't been that way for a very long time, and I kinda miss that. I don't know the reason for the distance, maybe you need space or you're mad at me about something or you're dealing with something, but whatever the case maybe, I'll be here if you wanna talk about it....

Emmmmmm....
Lemme say a big congratulations. Your wife to be told me that you guys would be getting married soon, I'm happy for you guys, really I'm happy that my gee is getting married, though I'm a bit hurt that I got to hear it from her first instead of you, either ways she invited me to the wedding and honestly, I'm skeptical about coming. Not because I can't make out time or because I don't want to honor the invitation, it's just that, the distance between us and you ignoring me gives me the impression, that you don't want me there...

I'll be expecting your response to this voice note, congratulations once again"

His response to this will decide whether or not I'll go for the wedding....

58 Likes 9 Shares

Re: Please Help! Should I Attend The Wedding Or Not? by falcon01: 6:27am On Jun 02, 2022
IamDora:


Now my question is,' Should I honour the said invitation by his Fiancee and attend their wedding or I should stay back and call her to wish her Happy Married Life after their Wedding? embarassed

Thank you.
Don't Go! Just call her and wish her well.

11 Likes

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