My friend clocked 30 years few days back but instead of making it a day of celebration he wore a gloomy look throughout the day. When I quizzed him on the reason if his dull demeanour, he bluntly told me that he feels like a failure due to the fact that he hasn't achieved anything at the age of 30.

His case is not different from mine, I would be 30 in a couple of months and I had to stay back in the state I schooled after graduating last year due to the insane pressure I would be getting back home. I've had to survive on a 30k unstable job.

I and my friend aren't alone in this boat, a look around reveals many young men in this age range especially the ones with humble background struggling to make a head way in life. My 2010 secondary school mates recently had a reunion and only about 30% of guys were quite comfortable, most of the ladies were married though.

How can this vicious chain be broken in our society? There's a painful iteration of poverty been passed from generation to generation in some families not due to lack of trying because hard work seems not be enough anymore but lack of connection and to a large extent luck. Most guys eventually gets tired of struggling and gets married there by extending the cycle of poverty.

Please the society should cut us some slack, most of us are already depressed at being broke at 30, we are doing our best to better our fortunes. All we need are opportunities and a bit of luck. A small yahoo boy that can barely string a decent sentence together insulted and called me all manner of despicable, derogatory and unprintable names just because a girl he's chasing is having a crush on my broke ass.

Wahala be like bicycle. There you go managing your broke life on peace only for your peace to be disturbed unecessarily.

Khoielvis:
Wahala be like bicycle. There you go managing your broke life on peace only for your peace to be disturbed unecessarily.

Nigerians are had core hypocrites

I think it's cause the average life span in Nigeria is 54. At 30 you have lived like 60 percent of your Nigerian average life span and death might come knocking anytime soon so the pressure to achieve something is immense.

Define broke.

To be fair, it is like that in every society, not just Nigeria. Also, it is a feature of ''Nigerianness'' to be extremely classist and materialistic. Money is the new god, and even Pastor Oyedepo will bless you if you are wealthy and needs his services.

Supreme145:
My friend clocked 30 years few days back but instead of making it a day of celebration he wore a gloomy look throughout the day. When I quizzed him on the reason if his dull demeanour, he bluntly told me that he feels like a failure due to the fact that he hasn't achieved anything at the age of 30.

His case is not different from mine, I would be 30 in a couple of months and I had to stay back in the state I schooled after graduating last year due to the insane pressure I would be getting back home. I've had to survive on a 30k unstable job.

I and my friend aren't alone in this boat, a look around reveals many young men in this age range especially the ones with humble background struggling to make a head way in life. My 2010 secondary school mates recently had a reunion and only about 30% of guys were quite comfortable, most of the ladies were married though.

How can this vicious chain be broken in our society? There's a painful iteration of poverty been passed from generation to generation in some families not due to lack of trying because hard work seems not be enough anymore but lack of connection and to a large extent luck. Most guys eventually gets tired of struggling and gets married there by extending the cycle of poverty.

Please the society should cut us some slack, most of us are already depressed at being broke at 30, we are doing our best to better our fortunes. All we need are opportunities and a bit of luck. A small yahoo boy that can barely string a decent sentence together insulted and called me all manner of despicable, derogatory and unprintable names just because a girl he's chasing is having a crush on my broke ass.

First thing first, I am also on this boat, my job has not been stable for quite some time now but this society we talk about are humans like us who are also mostly struggling but it's we in our own mind that think the society is putting us under pressure but the first set of the fabric of the society that puts us under pressure are our parents who have a mindset of the now and comparing us with a very few people who are quite okay and some who are only about the outside and not what really happens inside, for example some appear sophisticated outside but inside they are not any better and it is what most of our parents focus on especially in this new life of yahoo, flashy clothing and accessories with many owing backlog of debts and house rent but that is not to say many are also genuine and doing well but you have to be real with yourself and measure your progress and hope for the best...
Also, thank God you know getting married will most likely worsen it unless something extraordinary comes up, face your reality and continue to work as no one will tie you up to be flogged for not been married, this is what I have decided on, it gives me less pressure, and I am working on my mental health as it has been badly affected...

Nigerians and their unrealistic expectations.

cayorday89:

First thing first, I am also on this boat, my job has not been stable for quite some time now but this society we talk about are humans like us who are also mostly struggling but it's we in our own mind

Not 30 but exactly this!!!

OP was defeated by thinking why and how he'll be pressured if he's back home.

Often, who cares? You!

30 is usually that age most people reflect upon life and suddenly realize they've achieved not much.

Society shouldn't cut the slack but you, first is to know life is not a straight line but like a graph.

Because they're 75% complete to be 40years old.

And you know what they say about a fool at 40?

Supreme145:
My friend clocked 30 years few days back but instead of making it a day of celebration he wore a gloomy look throughout the day. When I quizzed him on the reason if his dull demeanour, he bluntly told me that he feels like a failure due to the fact that he hasn't achieved anything at the age of 30.

His case is not different from mine, I would be 30 in a couple of months and I had to stay back in the state I schooled after graduating last year due to the insane pressure I would be getting back home. I've had to survive on a 30k unstable job.

I and my friend aren't alone in this boat, a look around reveals many young men in this age range especially the ones with humble background struggling to make a head way in life. My 2010 secondary school mates recently had a reunion and only about 30% of guys were quite comfortable, most of the ladies were married though.

How can this vicious chain be broken in our society? There's a painful iteration of poverty been passed from generation to generation in some families not due to lack of trying because hard work seems not be enough anymore but lack of connection and to a large extent luck. Most guys eventually gets tired of struggling and gets married there by extending the cycle of poverty.

Please the society should cut us some slack, most of us are already depressed at being broke at 30, we are doing our best to better our fortunes. All we need are opportunities and a bit of luck. A small yahoo boy that can barely string a decent sentence together insulted and called me all manner of despicable, derogatory and unprintable names just because a girl he's chasing is having a crush on my broke ass.

As long as u are in this world, u can never be 100% happy. Whether u have money or not, It's impossible. The life isn't fair. My own point of view. Just accept and live the life.

The scarcity mentality in our clime...

In my two decades plus on earth I have realized that happiness comes from within.
Money doesn't buy happiness but the lack of it can lead to sadness and possibly depression.

The most important thing is to know yourself, know your strength and weakness then work on them, know what you want to do with your life, what would give you self fulfilment, be strategic about your doings, make plans and follow through with your plans, you can modify your plans if they are not working, try as much as possible not to make the same mistake twice, trust the process because nothing good comes easy, every successful person you see either paid the price or have someone pay the price for them, above all pray for God's Grace, it's trumps every other thing.

While in the process it's better to give zero fuxk about societal pressures!

cayorday89:
Also, thank God you know getting married will most likely worsen it unless something extraordinary comes up, face your reality and continue to work as no one will tie you up to be flogged for not been married, this is what I have decided on, it gives me less pressure, and I am working on my mental health as it has been badly affected...

How are you doing this? What steps are you taking? I am currently going through the same thing: I know because I've had suicidal thoughts recently as a way out and believe me it's not because I'm broke or anything. Compared to many of my peers, I seem to be doing fine: you know, just a different set of circumstances.

I found out that exercise helps, so I run 3 to 5 miles on some evenings but it's like a short term fix and those thoughts come back again in maybe 2 days time.

They are failures. That's the bitter truth.

But, Nigeria made them failures.

There are somethings u should have at 30 and the most important is independent financial life, a stable source of income and your own apartment.

you must have started life on your own.

If u are still eating mama thank ma n under someone's roof at 30 then u need to up ur game. I won't call u a failure (but u are failing) yet until u are still like dt until 40yrs.

cayorday89:

First thing first, I am also on this boat, my job has not been stable for quite some time now but this society we talk about are humans like us who are also mostly struggling but it's we in our own mind that think the society is putting us under pressure but the first set of the fabric of the society that puts us under pressure are our parents who have a mindset of the now and comparing us with a very few people who are quite okay and some who are only about the outside and not what really happens inside, for example some appear sophisticated outside but inside they are not any better and it is what most of our parents focus on especially in this new life of yahoo, flashy clothing and accessories with many owing backlog of debts and house rent but that is not to say many are also genuine and doing well but you have to be real with yourself and measure your progress and hope for the best...
Also, thank God you know getting married will most likely worsen it unless something extraordinary comes up, face your reality and continue to work as no one will tie you up to be flogged for not been married, this is what I have decided on, it gives me less pressure, and I am working on my mental health as it has been badly affected...

Wtf, dude! Don’t you know how to use a full stop. You just made my head spin.

Bad presidentship.
And also depending on some people's thought