dstiva:

I have been in a relationship with this naija guy here in the states for about 3 months with this guy who came after me, dated me, treated me well and then after about a month, he asked me to be his girlfriend. After I did, everything was cool until after about two months, I noticed his behavior changed, he would call and text me less than before so I waited some time and finally told him I didn't like it and he promised to do better, which he did for about a week. Then the next week, he went missing for a day and then after i called him twice, he finally texted me the next day saying that he was in the hospital with his sick uncle. I didn't believe him and got mad so i sent me a text saying maybe we should just be friends. He went silent, and didn't respond. The next day, I felt bad and I called and texted to apologize, and no word from him for 2 weeks! Finally, a mutual friend intervened and she confirmed that his uncle was sick and that his dad is terminally ill in naija and so he's going through a lot since he cannot be there for his family in nigeria. She got him to finally call me a few days later and when he called, I told him I was sorry again and he seemed non-chalant and polite, he didn't really want to talk about what was going on but he seemed okay, he apologized for not calling me, said he's been busy, etc. He ended the convo with "I'll talk to you later." He didn't call me again, so after a few days, I called and texted him again and he only responds to texts hours later with a polite "i'm okay just busy". After about a week, I offered (by text) to bring food to his house so I could see him as my attempt to be supportive of what he was going through and he did not respond for 2 days. When he did respond, he said "sorry, I just got this, was out of town but wish I could have been in town, thanks for the offer, i'll holla at u later". Its been another two days since that text and nothing from him. Should I just stop calling him, i feel like i am chasing him and he doesn't want me anymore. if that is the case, why not just tell me? Should I try calling him at work? Should i try to get our mutual friend to arrange a meeting? I need to know why he's treating me so bad! Or Should i be patient and leave him alone until he contacts me since he is dealing with a sick parent? or is he just using his sick family as an excuse because he doesn't care about me anymore? I haven't seen him in 3 weeks and he only lives about an hour away from me. He's acting so different towards me and I want to know why? What should I do?

Mynd_44:

Peopla are so insensitive, His father is terminally ill and he can't see him cos he is a billion miles away in a country where the cold has almost frozen his brains out and to add another one to it, his Uncle is also sick. Has it occured to you that he might not be in need of a GF but a friend? Typical Nigerian girl, always thinking about herself and noting else

190_@:

Has there been sex between the 2 of you

cos if you deny him sex - he'll look 4 it elsewhere

He's a Nigerian man and we cant stay without sex

Shy-One:

Get a new boyfriend

he's playing games - dump him - as soon as you dump him - he'll have an epiphany which will motivate him to remember your name. but who cares? who wants a boyfriend that you have to flag down just so you can hear his voice, regardless to what he is or isn't going through?

Goldieluks:

@OP,this sounds kinda sad,
but why don't you be patient with him,cause it looks like he's going through
a difficult situation with his dad's health and stuffs.You sounded like your feeling very hurt,which
is understandable,but just give him some time to sort himself out.And you may also wanna
text and call him less,if he is meant for you,he will always come back,but if he's not,then,too bad.

Look for other things to occupy your mind,and think less of him.Allow things to flow naturally,and
don't push too hard,cause you might get hurt in the process.

that's how i see it.

omega25red:

poster

how can you wait for someone who is not communicating with you?
I understand that he has some family emergncies going on but at least you will explain yourself and the reasons why you couldn't be in touch.
I would have said be patient but seriously delete dude's number. If i have a family emergency i would want to confide in a person whom i care about for comfort or advice and i wouldn't keep them in the dark about all that is going on.

Stop sweating a dude who don't want you and even if he did he is not actting like he does.

dstiva:

I have been in a relationship with this naija guy here in the states for about 3 months with this guy who came after me, dated me, treated me well and then after about a month, he asked me to be his girlfriend. After I did, everything was cool until after about two months, I noticed his behavior changed, he would call and text me less than before so I waited some time and finally told him I didn't like it and he promised to do better, which he did for about a week. Then the next week, he went missing for a day and then after i called him twice, he finally texted me the next day saying that he was in the hospital with his sick uncle. I didn't believe him and got mad so i sent me a text saying maybe we should just be friends. He went silent, and didn't respond. The next day, I felt bad and I called and texted to apologize, and no word from him for 2 weeks! Finally, a mutual friend intervened and she confirmed that his uncle was sick and that his dad is terminally ill in naija and so he's going through a lot since he cannot be there for his family in nigeria. She got him to finally call me a few days later and when he called, I told him I was sorry again and he seemed non-chalant and polite, he didn't really want to talk about what was going on but he seemed okay, he apologized for not calling me, said he's been busy, etc. He ended the convo with "I'll talk to you later." He didn't call me again, so after a few days, I called and texted him again and he only responds to texts hours later with a polite "i'm okay just busy". After about a week, I offered (by text) to bring food to his house so I could see him as my attempt to be supportive of what he was going through and he did not respond for 2 days. When he did respond, he said "sorry, I just got this, was out of town but wish I could have been in town, thanks for the offer, i'll holla at u later". Its been another two days since that text and nothing from him. Should I just stop calling him, i feel like i am chasing him and he doesn't want me anymore. if that is the case, why not just tell me? Should I try calling him at work? Should i try to get our mutual friend to arrange a meeting? I need to know why he's treating me so bad! Or Should i be patient and leave him alone until he contacts me since he is dealing with a sick parent? or is he just using his sick family as an excuse because he doesn't care about me anymore? I haven't seen him in 3 weeks and he only lives about an hour away from me. He's acting so different towards me and I want to know why? What should I do?

kpolli:

as a guy having family issues, my new gf of 3 months sends me that . . . . that can cause alot of damage. . . n we dont know how bad the txt was. . . .

my fada is ill, i tell u, then u call me a liar . . . .l com'on lets be human

dstiva:

I have been in a relationship with this naija guy here in the states for about 3 months with this guy who came after me, dated me, treated me well and then after about a month, he asked me to be his girlfriend. After I did, everything was cool until after about two months, I noticed his behavior changed, he would call and text me less than before so I waited some time and finally told him I didn't like it and he promised to do better, which he did for about a week. Then the next week, he went missing for a day and then after i called him twice, he finally texted me the next day saying that he was in the hospital with his sick uncle. I didn't believe him and got mad so i sent me a text saying maybe we should just be friends. He went silent, and didn't respond. The next day, I felt bad and I called and texted to apologize, and no word from him for 2 weeks! Finally, a mutual friend intervened and she confirmed that his uncle was sick and that his dad is terminally ill in naija and so he's going through a lot since he cannot be there for his family in nigeria. She got him to finally call me a few days later and when he called, I told him I was sorry again and he seemed non-chalant and polite, he didn't really want to talk about what was going on but he seemed okay, he apologized for not calling me, said he's been busy, etc. He ended the convo with "I'll talk to you later." He didn't call me again, so after a few days, I called and texted him again and he only responds to texts hours later with a polite "i'm okay just busy". After about a week, I offered (by text) to bring food to his house so I could see him as my attempt to be supportive of what he was going through and he did not respond for 2 days. When he did respond, he said "sorry, I just got this, was out of town but wish I could have been in town, thanks for the offer, i'll holla at u later". Its been another two days since that text and nothing from him. Should I just stop calling him, i feel like i am chasing him and he doesn't want me anymore. if that is the case, why not just tell me? Should I try calling him at work? Should i try to get our mutual friend to arrange a meeting? I need to know why he's treating me so bad! Or Should i be patient and leave him alone until he contacts me since he is dealing with a sick parent? or is he just using his sick family as an excuse because he doesn't care about me anymore? I haven't seen him in 3 weeks and he only lives about an hour away from me. He's acting so different towards me and I want to know why? What should I do?

Cosmass:

My dear I have been in your shoes before and I can relate very well to how you feel. Best advice as some have said is to not call him or at least call him less. Stay away for some time and you will see him start calling except of course he is tired of the relationship. It hurts yes, but trust me, it would get better with time, just try and not call him. Occupy yourself with other things. Wish you the best.

exactly!