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I Want To Abandon My Family At This Moment ,please Is This Advisable - Family - Nairaland

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I Want To Abandon My Family At This Moment ,please Is This Advisable by ebuka10box(m): 9:35am On Jun 22, 2022
This time last year ,I lost my dad and a month later I lost my mum,things have been tough cause I've been literally trying to carry everyone along so everyone depends on me.
I do everything out of love and sacrifice but I noticed it's just me against the world,no body helps me even at dying moments. My siblings are disappointing me cos they are living a very care free life,my only bro doesn't do what I ask him to do whenever I send him funds,even if he does it finally it could take months . My elder sister tells people that I don't send them money so I learnt she goes bout begging for funds and this really broke me.
I send over 70 percent of my earnings every month and I'm on serious debt now which I forfeited and ready to face the consequences (loan company). God knows only few persons can work for another to be gaining,I do all out of love and the fact that money is something I bliv its meant to be spent and I pity my siblings due to the loss of our parents.
I've got barely 6 months remaining in my contract and I've not saved a dime and my siblings ain't making me happy at all. Im planning to focus on my life a little cause I'll be back at the end of the contract.My siblings were advising me to sell my mums car or landed property but I declined cos I've lived this selling lifestyle before ,whatever u sell is gone forever and stormy days will still be there when I'm back to Nigeria. Is it advisable I just leave them (siblings) at this moment and focus a little on my life . Remember people will talk if I come home empty handed, moreover I don't think my siblings appreciates the effort I put in.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Want To Abandon My Family At This Moment ,please Is This Advisable by Kennyliga112: 9:41am On Jun 22, 2022
ebuka10box:
This time last year ,I lost my dad and a month later I lost my mum,things have been tough cause I've been literally trying to carry everyone along so everyone depends on me.
I do everything out of love and sacrifice but I noticed it's just me against the world,no body helps me even at dying moments. My siblings are disappointing me cos they are living a very care free life,my only bro doesn't do what I ask him to do whenever I send him funds,even if he does it finally it could take months . My elder sister tells people that I don't send them money so I learnt she goes bout begging for funds and this really broke me.
I send over 70 percent of my earnings every month and I'm on serious debt now which I forfeited and ready to face the consequences (loan company). God knows only few persons can work for another to be gaining,I do all out of love and the fact that money is something I bliv its meant to be spent and I pity my siblings due to the loss of our parents.
I've got barely 6 months remaining in my contract and I've not saved a dime and my siblings ain't making me happy at all. Im planning to focus on my life a little cause I'll be back at the end of the contract.My siblings were advising me to sell my mums car or landed property but I declined cos I've lived this selling lifestyle before ,whatever u sell is gone forever and stormy days will still be there when I'm back to Nigeria. Is it advisable I just leave them (siblings) at this moment and focus a little on my life . Remember people will talk if I come home empty handed, moreover I don't think my siblings appreciates the effort I put in.
All man for himself, face your life squarely.. always remember this , everybody want to see you good but not better than them. So people will always use you and move on.

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Want To Abandon My Family At This Moment ,please Is This Advisable by VeryWickedMan: 9:45am On Jun 22, 2022
The best move is to abandon them

3 Likes

Re: I Want To Abandon My Family At This Moment ,please Is This Advisable by ebuka10box(m): 9:49am On Jun 22, 2022
Kennyliga112:
All man for himself, face your life squarely.. always remember this , everybody want to see you good but not better than them. So people will always use you and move on.
thanks sir
Re: I Want To Abandon My Family At This Moment ,please Is This Advisable by Pacesetter2021: 9:50am On Jun 22, 2022
God bless you for your effort.

Please hear me, you are not wrong to help but everything we do must be done in wisdom. The mere fact that you have no savings is clear indication you can do better as far as walking in wisdom is concerned.

1Corinthians 16:2, NIV: On the first day of every week, each one of you should set aside a sum of money in keeping with your income, saving it up, so that when I come no collections will have to be made.


Secondly, maybe your siblings were not raised with principles, but bottom line is that it's not your fault they are that way.

If you earned 1milliom dollars and sent then 70% of that, it will still come to nothing because the foundation is faulty. It makes no sense that you will now strip yourself completely in futility.

If you are prayerful, pray for them, they need Jesus more. If you are not prayerful please learn to be. P
P
What I see out of thpep

4 Likes

Re: I Want To Abandon My Family At This Moment ,please Is This Advisable by Klass99(f): 10:09am On Jun 22, 2022
smiley

1 Like

Re: I Want To Abandon My Family At This Moment ,please Is This Advisable by VanessaKokomama(f): 10:13am On Jun 22, 2022
ebuka10box:
This time last year ,I lost my dad and a month later I lost my mum,things have been tough cause I've been literally trying to carry everyone along so everyone depends on me.
I do everything out of love and sacrifice but I noticed it's just me against the world,no body helps me even at dying moments. My siblings are disappointing me cos they are living a very care free life,my only bro doesn't do what I ask him to do whenever I send him funds,even if he does it finally it could take months . My elder sister tells people that I don't send them money so I learnt she goes bout begging for funds and this really broke me.
I send over 70 percent of my earnings every month and I'm on serious debt now which I forfeited and ready to face the consequences (loan company). God knows only few persons can work for another to be gaining,I do all out of love and the fact that money is something I bliv its meant to be spent and I pity my siblings due to the loss of our parents.
I've got barely 6 months remaining in my contract and I've not saved a dime and my siblings ain't making me happy at all. Im planning to focus on my life a little cause I'll be back at the end of the contract.My siblings were advising me to sell my mums car or landed property but I declined cos I've lived this selling lifestyle before ,whatever u sell is gone forever and stormy days will still be there when I'm back to Nigeria. Is it advisable I just leave them (siblings) at this moment and focus a little on my life . Remember people will talk if I come home empty handed, moreover I don't think my siblings appreciates the effort I put in.

Another Option is to kill yourself or Commit suicide Asap tongue tongue
Re: I Want To Abandon My Family At This Moment ,please Is This Advisable by VanessaKokomama(f): 10:17am On Jun 22, 2022
ebuka10box:
This time last year ,I lost my dad and a month later I lost my mum,things have been tough cause I've been literally trying to carry everyone along so everyone depends on me.
I do everything out of love and sacrifice but I noticed it's just me against the world,no body helps me even at dying moments. My siblings are disappointing me cos they are living a very care free life,my only bro doesn't do what I ask him to do whenever I send him funds,even if he does it finally it could take months . My elder sister tells people that I don't send them money so I learnt she goes bout begging for funds and this really broke me.
I send over 70 percent of my earnings every month and I'm on serious debt now which I forfeited and ready to face the consequences (loan company). God knows only few persons can work for another to be gaining,I do all out of love and the fact that money is something I bliv its meant to be spent and I pity my siblings due to the loss of our parents.
I've got barely 6 months remaining in my contract and I've not saved a dime and my siblings ain't making me happy at all. Im planning to focus on my life a little cause I'll be back at the end of the contract.My siblings were advising me to sell my mums car or landed property but I declined cos I've lived this selling lifestyle before ,whatever u sell is gone forever and stormy days will still be there when I'm back to Nigeria. Is it advisable I just leave them (siblings) at this moment and focus a little on my life . Remember people will talk if I come home empty handed, moreover I don't think my siblings appreciates the effort I put in.

Stop Scamming People please, and beside your Karma is dealing with you or ask your dead parents
Re: I Want To Abandon My Family At This Moment ,please Is This Advisable by ebuka10box(m): 10:25am On Jun 22, 2022
VanessaKokomama:


Stop Scamming People please, and beside your Karma is dealing with you or ask your dead parents
may bad things locate you, u got no respect for the dead right . Please who have I scammed on this platform .
Re: I Want To Abandon My Family At This Moment ,please Is This Advisable by ebuka10box(m): 10:26am On Jun 22, 2022
Klass99:
Are you a scammer, like the poster below says?
please I've not scammed any1 on this platform ,u can do a thorough check on my posts
Re: I Want To Abandon My Family At This Moment ,please Is This Advisable by Klass99(f): 10:29am On Jun 22, 2022
smiley
Re: I Want To Abandon My Family At This Moment ,please Is This Advisable by vincentjk(m): 11:07am On Jun 22, 2022
VanessaKokomama:


Stop Scamming People please, and beside your Karma is dealing with you or ask your dead parents
Why call him a scammer abi he don scam you before?

Op this your story is tiring tbh
Re: I Want To Abandon My Family At This Moment ,please Is This Advisable by ebuka10box(m): 11:19am On Jun 22, 2022
vincentjk:

Why call him a scammer abi he don scam you before?

Op this your story is tiring tbh
she goes around calling people scammers,na her work be dat
Re: I Want To Abandon My Family At This Moment ,please Is This Advisable by thorpido(m): 11:44am On Jun 22, 2022
Can't your siblings work?

2 Likes

Re: I Want To Abandon My Family At This Moment ,please Is This Advisable by RightToReject(m): 11:46am On Jun 22, 2022
Be wise, not nice, and be maverick gentle, not neither just gentle nor unjust cruel.

2 Likes

Re: I Want To Abandon My Family At This Moment ,please Is This Advisable by tayo60(f): 12:23pm On Jun 22, 2022
U know d adage" every man for
himself". Leave your siblings alone and focus on your life. If you are not there, they will survive, it's because you are shouldering their responsibilities, that's why they are not serious with their lives. Face your life and make meaning out of it . Stop giving them money, when you get back to Nigeria, ask them what they intend to do with their lives, support anyone that's serious and abandon those that want you to be feeding them.

3 Likes

Re: I Want To Abandon My Family At This Moment ,please Is This Advisable by Kirkman: 12:25pm On Jun 22, 2022
ebuka10box:
please I've not scammed any1 on this platform ,u can do a thorough check on my posts

No matter what you do, don't ever sell your mum's landed property or her vehicle, and as for your siblings, heaven knows that you have helped them to the best of your don't help them anymore, let every man hustle for his/herself.

Start thinking of your own self first and how to forge ahead with life. Especially now that your contract will soon expire. Make yourself a priority once in a while. It's not selfish. It's necessary.

1 Like

Re: I Want To Abandon My Family At This Moment ,please Is This Advisable by cayorday89(m): 12:33pm On Jun 22, 2022
Your case is kinda delicate but not complicated, you need to have savings for unforeseen circumstances, you need to send your siblings something and not necessarily a huge part of your earnings. You are in debt already sef which implies you are spending above your earnings without you actually living it.

Seems you are not around, you can call a meeting and make it known to everyone to sit up and you all have to face life as a team with everyone bringing in something for the collective help of those who are not old enough to earn money or not viable enough just to cover up any lapses...

Your sister that is telling people you don't send money should be the least of your concern since only you know the efforts you make for them. For the land, it can be leased out for a long period of 5years to be renewed with proper documentation to avoid future wahala and the funds used for the good of all.

Forget people talking about you coming home empty handed, even if you come with hands and body filled up, will you have to show it to them to prove you did not come empty handed, if not it's not something to worry about, focus on your family and yourself and let everyone be a contributor as long as they are old enough.

1 Like

Re: I Want To Abandon My Family At This Moment ,please Is This Advisable by RomanGreen: 12:47pm On Jun 22, 2022
Look man, you're the cause of your predicament. You encouraged giving and giving hence they all depended on you. I take care of my siblings and my mum too but I made sure my siblings learnt a skill to be productive themselves, in fact when I paid for their training I lied to them that the money for their training was a loan and I'm expected to pay back, they are good kids but I still need them to imbibe that sense of seriousness and responsibility while learning, today my junior sis is a make up artist, her twin brother is graphic designer (gained admission this year), my immediate junior brother who will graduate this year works as a technician for DStv .

The point is, while giving, let them understand they must be able to fend for themselves at some point, therefore provide money not just for consumption but also for acquiring a skill for them to be equipped to hustle on their own. I'm really happy and proud of what my siblings have accomplished, yes I spent much on them coz our father died early hence the responsibilities on me but today, I made sure they have a skill that is capable of atleast putting food on their table .

My point is, you can't continue like this else you'll break down someday, again...do not cut them off completely...what you can do is to discuss with them and find out what they can do and advise properly then provide the funding for them to get a skill ....guy as naija be right now ... having a skill is key to survival.

I understand your struggles, keep praying..God will surely reward you ok. Peace!

2 Likes

Re: I Want To Abandon My Family At This Moment ,please Is This Advisable by Raalsalghul: 1:44pm On Jun 22, 2022
How old are these your siblings self?

Are they still in secondary school?

Oga, you better ignore them and face your life.

If shit happens to you, they would still find ways to survive without you.

Still find it hard to understand why Nigerians would go abroad and start sending money home immediately without stabilising.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Want To Abandon My Family At This Moment ,please Is This Advisable by Mindlog: 2:06pm On Jun 22, 2022
You should always come first, you are not your siblings' saviour.
Re: I Want To Abandon My Family At This Moment ,please Is This Advisable by VanessaKokomama(f): 3:01pm On Jun 22, 2022
ebuka10box:
may bad things locate you, u got no respect for the dead right . Please who have I scammed on this platform .

Thunder kill you and your siblings Amen
Re: I Want To Abandon My Family At This Moment ,please Is This Advisable by haggai247: 4:38pm On Jun 22, 2022
ebuka10box:
This time last year ,I lost my dad and a month later I lost my mum,things have been tough cause I've been literally trying to carry everyone along so everyone depends on me.
I do everything out of love and sacrifice but I noticed it's just me against the world,no body helps me even at dying moments. My siblings are disappointing me cos they are living a very care free life,my only bro doesn't do what I ask him to do whenever I send him funds,even if he does it finally it could take months . My elder sister tells people that I don't send them money so I learnt she goes bout begging for funds and this really broke me.
I send over 70 percent of my earnings every month and I'm on serious debt now which I forfeited and ready to face the consequences (loan company). God knows only few persons can work for another to be gaining,I do all out of love and the fact that money is something I bliv its meant to be spent and I pity my siblings due to the loss of our parents.
I've got barely 6 months remaining in my contract and I've not saved a dime and my siblings ain't making me happy at all. Im planning to focus on my life a little cause I'll be back at the end of the contract.My siblings were advising me to sell my mums car or landed property but I declined cos I've lived this selling lifestyle before ,whatever u sell is gone forever and stormy days will still be there when I'm back to Nigeria. Is it advisable I just leave them (siblings) at this moment and focus a little on my life . Remember people will talk if I come home empty handed, moreover I don't think my siblings appreciates the effort I put in.
Wahala for person wey dey live to please other people it will never end well no where in history did it end well.

Only the living tell tales of the dead and you my friend are on that lonely path.

Live your life they would talk even if you are the most caring person on earth even Jesus Christ after his sacrifice people still mock and laugh when they preach his name ...that alone should teach you some lesson about life.
But if you decide to follow how the world want you to be then you'll be slaving for nothing.
Re: I Want To Abandon My Family At This Moment ,please Is This Advisable by ebuka10box(m): 4:45pm On Jun 22, 2022
Kirkman:


No matter what you do, don't ever sell your mum's landed property or her vehicle, and as for your siblings, heaven knows that you have helped them to the best of your don't help them anymore, let every man hustle for his/herself.

Start thinking of your own self first and how to forge ahead with life. Especially now that your contract will soon expire. Make yourself a priority once in a while. It's not selfish. It's necessary.
thanks
Re: I Want To Abandon My Family At This Moment ,please Is This Advisable by ebuka10box(m): 4:47pm On Jun 22, 2022
cayorday89:
Your case is kinda delicate but not complicated, you need to have savings for unforeseen circumstances, you need to send your siblings something and not necessarily a huge part of your earnings. You are in debt already sef which implies you are spending above your earnings without you actually living it.

Seems you are not around, you can call a meeting and make it known to everyone to sit up and you all have to face life as a team with everyone bringing in something for the collective help of those who are not old enough to earn money or not viable enough just to cover up any lapses...

Your sister that is telling people you don't send money should be the least of your concern since only you know the efforts you make for them. For the land, it can be leased out for a long period of 5years to be renewed with proper documentation to avoid future wahala and the funds used for the good of all.

Forget people talking about you coming home empty handed, even if you come with hands and body filled up, will you have to show it to them to prove you did not come empty handed, if not it's not something to worry about, focus on your family and yourself and let everyone be a contributor as long as they are old enough.
I really appreciate,thanks
Re: I Want To Abandon My Family At This Moment ,please Is This Advisable by ebuka10box(m): 4:54pm On Jun 22, 2022
Pacesetter2021:
God bless you for your effort.

Please hear me, you are not wrong to help but everything we do must be done in wisdom. The mere fact that you have no savings is clear indication you can do better as far as walking in wisdom is concerned.

1Corinthians 16:2, NIV: On the first day of every week, each one of you should set aside a sum of money in keeping with your income, saving it up, so that when I come no collections will have to be made.


Secondly, maybe your siblings were not raised with principles, but bottom line is that it's not your fault they are that way.

If you earned 1milliom dollars and sent then 70% of that, it will still come to nothing because the foundation is faulty. It makes no sense that you will now strip yourself completely in futility.

If you are prayerful, pray for them, they need Jesus more. If you are not prayerful please learn to be. P
P
What I see out of thpep
thanks
Re: I Want To Abandon My Family At This Moment ,please Is This Advisable by ebuka10box(m): 4:55pm On Jun 22, 2022
RomanGreen:
Look man, you're the cause of your predicament. You encouraged giving and giving hence they all depended on you. I take care of my siblings and my mum too but I made sure my siblings learnt a skill to be productive themselves, in fact when I paid for their training I lied to them that the money for their training was a loan and I'm expected to pay back, they are good kids but I still need them to imbibe that sense of seriousness and responsibility while learning, today my junior sis is a make up artist, her twin brother is graphic designer (gained admission this year), my immediate junior brother who will graduate this year works as a technician for DStv .

The point is, while giving, let them understand they must be able to fend for themselves at some point, therefore provide money not just for consumption but also for acquiring a skill for them to be equipped to hustle on their own. I'm really happy and proud of what my siblings have accomplished, yes I spent much on them coz our father died early hence the responsibilities on me but today, I made sure they have a skill that is capable of atleast putting food on their table .

My point is, you can't continue like this else you'll break down someday, again...do not cut them off completely...what you can do is to discuss with them and find out what they can do and advise properly then provide the funding for them to get a skill ....guy as naija be right now ... having a skill is key to survival.

I understand your struggles, keep praying..God will surely reward you ok. Peace!
amen ,thanks a lot
Re: I Want To Abandon My Family At This Moment ,please Is This Advisable by conscienceman4(m): 7:06am On Jun 23, 2022
Whatever you earn, knowing that you are on contract, save fifty percent first. How can you spend 70 percent on your sib what?
quote author=ebuka10box post=114040840]This time last year ,I lost my dad and a month later I lost my mum,things have been tough cause I've been literally trying to carry everyone along so everyone depends on me.
I do everything out of love and sacrifice but I noticed it's just me against the world,no body helps me even at dying moments. My siblings are disappointing me cos they are living a very care free life,my only bro doesn't do what I ask him to do whenever I send him funds,even if he does it finally it could take months . My elder sister tells people that I don't send them money so I learnt she goes bout begging for funds and this really broke me.
I send over 70 percent of my earnings every month and I'm on serious debt now which I forfeited and ready to face the consequences (loan company). God knows only few persons can work for another to be gaining,I do all out of love and the fact that money is something I bliv its meant to be spent and I pity my siblings due to the loss of our parents.
I've got barely 6 months remaining in my contract and I've not saved a dime and my siblings ain't making me happy at all. Im planning to focus on my life a little cause I'll be back at the end of the contract.My siblings were advising me to sell my mums car or landed property but I declined cos I've lived this selling lifestyle before ,whatever u sell is gone forever and stormy days will still be there when I'm back to Nigeria. Is it advisable I just leave them (siblings) at this moment and focus a little on my life . Remember people will talk if I come home empty handed, moreover I don't think my siblings appreciates the effort I put in.[/quote]
Re: I Want To Abandon My Family At This Moment ,please Is This Advisable by efficiencie(m): 10:27am On Jun 23, 2022
ebuka10box:
This time last year ,I lost my dad and a month later I lost my mum,things have been tough cause I've been literally trying to carry everyone along so everyone depends on me.
I do everything out of love and sacrifice but I noticed it's just me against the world,no body helps me even at dying moments. My siblings are disappointing me cos they are living a very care free life,my only bro doesn't do what I ask him to do whenever I send him funds,even if he does it finally it could take months . My elder sister tells people that I don't send them money so I learnt she goes bout begging for funds and this really broke me.
I send over 70 percent of my earnings every month and I'm on serious debt now which I forfeited and ready to face the consequences (loan company). God knows only few persons can work for another to be gaining,I do all out of love and the fact that money is something I bliv its meant to be spent and I pity my siblings due to the loss of our parents.
I've got barely 6 months remaining in my contract and I've not saved a dime and my siblings ain't making me happy at all. Im planning to focus on my life a little cause I'll be back at the end of the contract.My siblings were advising me to sell my mums car or landed property but I declined cos I've lived this selling lifestyle before ,whatever u sell is gone forever and stormy days will still be there when I'm back to Nigeria. Is it advisable I just leave them (siblings) at this moment and focus a little on my life . Remember people will talk if I come home empty handed, moreover I don't think my siblings appreciates the effort I put in.

This is the point where you have to practice the role of a father. You have to be firm and resolute in your decision making. Open up more investment opportunities. For example you can transform the car into a Uber/Bolt car and make some money from it. If you fear your siblings will sell the car behind your back employ someone else to do the job and collect returns. As for the land, if it is a big land, more than 2 plots, you can sell one plot and with the money setup a shop for consumer goods based on what you observe is fast moving in your area. Hold yourself accountable, carry your siblings along by showing them the receipts of your transactions and ensure that no one feels cheated or sidelined.
Re: I Want To Abandon My Family At This Moment ,please Is This Advisable by Richy4(m): 11:00am On Jun 23, 2022
<< Just do an experiment on your family... try and ignore them for 2 months,.. all Nigerian family phone calls blocked, see if their survival mode will kick in or not...

<<I know that it's in human nature to survive when situations turns south.. for example U will see a widow crying her eyes out at the cemetery over the demise of the husband...

<<Every one who sees her at that moment would think she will die the next day considering the fact that the husband might be the breadwinner, it's all over for her... But guess what, in three yrs time, u will still see her... Though it might not be the same but she will not die...

<<Your siblings are acting that way because there's an easy source where their bread is coming from.. when that source closes, they will find a different way to get bread... And trust me, they will not die... And when they have seen how hard it was to get bread, they will appreciate u any time you contacts them.. all the best..
Re: I Want To Abandon My Family At This Moment ,please Is This Advisable by ebuka10box(m): 1:27pm On Jun 23, 2022
efficiencie:


This is the point where you have to practice the role of a father. You have to be firm and resolute in your decision making. Open up more investment opportunities. For example you can transform the car into a Uber/Bolt car and make some money from it. If you fear your siblings will sell the car behind your back employ someone else to do the job and collect returns. As for the land, if it is a big land, more than 2 plots, you can sell one plot and with the money setup a shop for consumer goods based on what you observe is fast moving in your area. Hold yourself accountable, carry your siblings along by showing them the receipts of your transactions and ensure that no one feels cheated or sidelined.
thanks, I'm grateful
Re: I Want To Abandon My Family At This Moment ,please Is This Advisable by ebuka10box(m): 1:27pm On Jun 23, 2022
Richy4:
<< Just do an experiment on your family... try and ignore them for 2 months,.. all Nigerian family phone calls blocked, see if their survival mode will kick in or not...

<<I know that it's in human nature to survive when situations turns south.. for example U will see a widow crying her eyes out at the cemetery over the demise of the husband...

<<Every one who sees her at that moment would think she will die the next day considering the fact that the husband might be the breadwinner, it's all over for her... But guess what, in three yrs time, u will still see her... Though it might not be the same but she will not die...

<<Your siblings are acting that way because there's an easy source where their bread is coming from.. when that source closes, they will find a different way to get bread... And trust me, they will not die... And when they have seen how hard it was to get bread, they will appreciate u any time you contacts them.. all the best..
thanks

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