evangmx:
I just lost my job like 2 months ago. I use my car to do can work. My wife works as well. And we have 2 children.

I want you to tell me the truth am I doing bad or good?

I pay all the bills at home, I still give out 15k every week for food.

But my wife still complain. I don't know what she use her salary to do. All I know is that she use to wear new cloth every Sunday and new shoes. And buys cloth for the children once in a while.

Pls tell me if am doing bad.

If you're sincerely doing all this. Just divorce her and you will have peace.

satandeterrible:

You're such a disgusting animal. Fool.

But that person behind the moinker made sense na

You are doing your best.

If all you stated here is as it is.
You are not the problem. Your unsupportive wife is the problem.

Over independence is not good for anyone. Many of you would be forming “I can handle my bills” during courtship. Only to end up with an unsupportive partner.

rickpat:
if you are so experienced with family issues,you would realise that sometimes the head gets too full that you need to empty it somewhere or somehow...so it's either you talk to "your wall" or you come to a "faceless" forum like this to let it out...and be relieved.... secondly he is an adult, he can filter whatever he sees here and know what is worth adding to his private life....so it's totally wrong for you to use brainless and such derogatory words on everyone and every opinion here....DROP YOUR OPINION AND MOVE ON...THANKS FOR YOUR TIME

Dats true... Platforms like dis help people to clear their heads.
He mustn't heed to every opinion he sees here.

evangmx:
[I have discussed with her even the priest has help me talked to her. But I want to know if am not doing my best. I don't have a savings ]

Just tell her that the next time you give her money and you don't hear her loud prayers for you and better thanks, the money you are giving her will stop immediately. That will shut down the complaining!....Make sure you carry out that threat.

Next, you must save for the rainy day, cut your expenses or make sure your wife starts to pay for one or two things at home..... Join thrift, cooperative or open a new bank account that you will not let her know about but make sure you save consistently in it.... She must realize that you no longer get salary. The sooner the better

We don't judge with one side story...who knows if you were lying?

garriAndsugar:
You need to discuss with your wife to see how she can support you

..Does he even needs to discuss with her If she was a sensible and reasonable person she should have pick up part of the bills....What of if that man drops dead....won't she carry the load

This attitude that a lot of our women exhibit is not only wicked but extremely selfish....The act of believing that your husband should carry all the family loads while you squander yours without lifting a finger to assist is the reason why love is missing in a lot of homes .it is sad.

Reduce the weekly stipend to 5k for a while. She will appreciate the 15k. Then bump it back up to 10k for a while

evangmx:
[I have discussed with her even the priest has help me talked to her. But I want to know if am not doing my best. I don't have a savings ]

Sorry bro
I feel U
amazing times ahead

Raalsalghul:


How is it a cruise thread and are you insinuating that the agenda here is to bash women?

Check the Op's moniker first: been here since 2011 and had opened other threads.

i have already observed that the op is a story teller

go through the ops profile

this is the op

your move

Like my father says, only a foolish husband will earn 1k outside and bring everything home. You'll spend or save 400 and keep the rest.

My brother, the truth is bitter but I'll advice you to be rational. You need to have additional streams of income no matter what. We keep deceiving ourselves with education here in Nigeria when we the people are our own worst enemies. The majority still sell their votes leaving the minority to also suffer is failed policies.

As odd as it may sound, you need to consider something like goat farming or snail farming or anything at all. You'll only suffer a year before you start cashing out. My then you wouldn't even have time to know if your wife exist or not. Don't allow anyone not your wife, family or kids drive you into depression. Plan for your own sanity first abeg. Use your head!

evangmx:
[I have discussed with her even the priest has help me talked to her. But I want to know if am not doing my best. I don't have a savings nowquote author=garriAndsugar post=114062807]You need to discuss with your wife to see how she can support you

Sincerely you ve tried and still trying. But i ll advice you to have some savings for yourself no matter the situation. Pls save something for yourself especially this one wey you wife dey behave like this. Dont be taken unawares. Pray for the best but prepare for the worse

Mickykarim:


IF HE IS MATURED ENOUGH TO FILTER ANYTHING AS AN ADULT. HIS RECENT MOVE CLEARLY PROVED YOU AND HIM OTHERWISE.

For your INFORMATION and EDUCATION. No successful union and matrimony ever had external FORCES and OPINIONS intervention in their internal affairs. Their internal matrimonial home is never for public consumption.

A MAN CAME PUBLIC TO DISPARAGE HIS SIGNIFICANT HALF, CLAIMING SHE USE HER MONEY ON CERTAIN ITEMS THAT IS NOT NEW TO HIM SINCE THEY CAME TOGETHER AND FOR HOW LONG.

Of course, I AM married for over decades and knows what i am saying and you are obviously not!

He also sings his own praise in contrast to his wife's.

SO MUCH FOR YOUR MATURED MAN!

See the way I dey look you

Deborah98:
Jesus person dey buy new clothes and new shoes every week and you tell me this life is balanced? My elder sister saw my post which day on WhatsApp and was asking if I'm still using my "old clothes and bags". Wetin man go do now? @Op your wife is insensitive aswear,why does God or whoever it is allow good people marry bad ones and vice versa. Check well she might be building a house somewhere or processing her visa to travel out with or without the kids. Na your type of person dey carry love and marriage matter for head. It's well

Exactly

evangmx:
I just lost my job like 2 months ago. I use my car to do can work. My wife works as well. And we have 2 children.

I want you to tell me the truth am I doing bad or good?

I pay all the bills at home, I still give out 15k every week for food.

But my wife still complain. I don't know what she use her salary to do. All I know is that she use to wear new cloth every Sunday and new shoes. And buys cloth for the children once in a while.

Pls tell me if am doing bad.

...Bros...You are doing well ,and under no condtion should you question yourself as to whether you are Man enough or not...From the little that you wrote...You are a great Dad ,A great ,nice and hardworking man and trying to be a wonderful husband to a woman who isn't sensible.

Most times...we make the mistakes of footing all ladies bills while dating because we believe we are in love and it is the man's role to do all that...In the process,we become a simp to be walk on by ladies ,who most times are manipulative .

If your wife does not have the sense to assist then you need to sit her down and talk to her....No need inviting a third party because I can assure you that most men are also going through similar issues. Tell her that she MUST WISE UP and BECOME FINANCIALLY RESPONSIBLE IN THE FAMILY. Ask her which part of the bills she will be footing going forward..You can't assert your authority overnight but you must put your foot down and stand by it!

Alternatively , you can reduce the 15k which cumulatively is 60k monthly to just 15k monthly.

God forbid that something untoward happens to you...Won't she dust herself up and carry the family responsibilities?

In this present age...It is an abomination as a family and most especially as a Man not to have savings...But I honestly doubt if you will be able to accumulate any savings when you foot all bills...The aftermath of this is dire.

Kindly make changes without further delay.

evangmx:
I just lost my job like 2 months ago. I use my car to do can work. My wife works as well. And we have 2 children.

I want you to tell me the truth am I doing bad or good?

I pay all the bills at home, I still give out 15k every week for food.

But my wife still complain. I don't know what she use her salary to do. All I know is that she use to wear new cloth every Sunday and new shoes. And buys cloth for the children once in a while.

Pls tell me if am doing bad.

you trying.

satandeterrible:

You're such a disgusting animal. Fool.

Ofcourse I am a fool to people like you who think the world revolves around what is their mental anguish. Seek help abeg!

IvarDboneless:
Where una dey see all this kind wife marry sef...15k every week..you are a f0cking weak man..my wife dares not even complain even if there's no food at home

Excellent question!

If you know what you want is someone to share the bills with you. Why marry someone who won't, only to come back and whine after the fact.... is what I always wonder.

GloriousGbola:


i have already observed that the op is a story teller

go through the ops profile

this is the op

your move

Someone has been on NL for 11 years and he has just 6 posts to his credit. Yet you miraculously labeled him a story teller just to discredit his post because it’s about a woman. You people don’t cease to amaze!

redseason:

Someone has been on NL for 11 years and he has just 6 posts to his credit. Yet you miraculously labeled him a story teller just to discredit his post because it’s about a woman. You people don’t cease to amaze!

the return of my good friend - the loser with 500 accounts.

please do not pretend to be illiterate, even though it has been established repeatedly that you are not particularly smart

troll me with your full chest, not like a lily livered coward who runs behind the skirts of the moderators when the heat gets turned up

try to be a real man, not a weakling who has to make up misogynistic stories to compensate for being an incel

rickpat:
baba you are doing very very well...60k a month for food plus paying all the bills....most men won't even do that when their wife is working...

my brother,YOU ARE A VERY RESPONSIBLE MAN... DOING ALL THESE TO TAKE CARE IF HIS FAMILY DESPITE THE ROUGH TIMES FOR YOU....


YOUR WIFE DOESN'T KNOW SHE HAS A GOOD MAN...SHE IS NOT BEING SUPPORTIVE...


MY ADVISE IS CONTINUE DOING YOUR BEST,GOD WILL BLESS YOU MORE AND OPEN MORE DOORS FOR YOU... DON'T GET FRUSTRATED OR DISCOURAGED BY HER ATTITUDE...JUST IGNORE AND CONTINUE BEING RESPONSIBLE...LOVE AND CARE FOR YOUR FAMILY....forgive your wife,she knows not what she is doing!!...chai..

Best response I've read so far!

Men need to be appreciated too.

The society tilts towards supporting women when it comes to issues like this. No doubt they deserve to be treated special, but sometimes they also need to be considerate.

I know there are women that will never use their earnings to support the family, never!

I also pray God opens doors for you to do more as the breadwinner.

Have you considered acquiring soft skills? One I recommend is writing.

Look for Oni the writer

My brother, considering your level of income you are doing very well.

How can a normal human being be buying new clothes and shoes every week in this harsh economy?

Your wife is so insensitive

You need to invest in yourself, reduce that 15k per week to sometimes 7k or 10k. Use the remaining 5k to start osusu contribution and you will have minimum 20k savings per month.
Since your wife no want understand, you go change am for her. Sometimes give her 5k sef, let her quarrel, just lock up. Tell her next week will be better, soon she will start appreciating you the week you drop 10k.

Once again, invest in yourself, save money to invest in your business and growth. That is the only solution out of this situation, not spending all your resources for the present issues and somebody is not even showing appreciation or sympathy.

Another thing is this, buy food stuffs in the house and further reduce unnecessary spending.

Simply put, you are doing Ur best. As from now, try and or begin to have savings. If anybody think you are not doing your best, why can't they show you their best? Tell anybody, who think you are not doing your best, to show you their best. Compare your best with their best and their best with your best. If you think you are not doing your best, have you done your worst? If you do your worst, maybe someone can appreciate your best. If your best is not enough or if you think your best is not good enough, you can do better than the best. Meanwhile or however, let anybody who says you are not doing your best, shows you their best and their worst. Then, compare your best with their best and your worst with their worst. Your worst could be their best and their best could be your worst. Their worst could also be your best. You can ask your wife for how or on how she think you can improve or become best, that she won't complain. Tell her how she can improve too. Ask for GODS guidance & I hope GOD would guide you...

You did bad because family matters are settled inside not outside.

Kindly see a marriage counselor with her in your parish OR see take her to your sponsors.

In addition commit everything about your home to God, nothing is impossible with God.

I will like to get detail from you if you wish

GloriousGbola:


the return of my good friend - the loser with 500 accounts.

please do not pretend to be illiterate, even though it has been established repeatedly that you are not particularly smart

troll me with your full chest, not like a lily livered coward who runs behind the skirts of the moderators when the heat gets turned up

try to be a real man, not a weakling who has to make up misogynistic stories to compensate for being an incel

Firsts, who are you? Because you are unknown to me and very inconsequential. Secondly, I don’t think I have ever quoted you on any grounds, maybe in your little imaginations. Thirdly, I do not keep multiple accounts. And yes, in this case I quoted you full chest because of your hypocrisy, lies and misleading demeanor. You tried to spin a narrative with your obvious bias and lies, even after @Raalsalghul has called you out and I have clearly debunked you. Now, do the needful and crawl back into whatever hole you came out from. You have earned you momentary fame.

redseason:

Firsts, who are you? Because you are unknown to me and very inconsequential. Secondly, I don’t think I have ever quoted you on any grounds, maybe in your little imaginations. Thirdly, I do not keep multiple accounts. And yes, in this case I quoted you full chest because of your hypocrisy, lies and misleading demeanor. You tried to spin a narrative with your obvious bias and lies, and I have clearly debunked you. Now, do the needful and crawl back into whatever hole you came out from. You have earned you momentary fame.

what a miserable existence you have

please keep stalking me - that is your destiny, after all

evangmx:
I just lost my job like 2 months ago. I use my car to do can work. My wife works as well. And we have 2 children.

I want you to tell me the truth am I doing bad or good?

I pay all the bills at home, I still give out 15k every week for food.

But my wife still complain. I don't know what she use her salary to do. All I know is that she use to wear new cloth every Sunday and new shoes. And buys cloth for the children once in a while.

Pls tell me if am doing bad.

First and foremost, hope you are not having an affair or planning to like most married men? Because when a wife founds out that her husband is having an affair, she knows he is also spending money on them and she would decide not to be in any way supportive especially financially to the husband.

If from the deepest parts of your heart, you can rule the above out then your wife is an ungrateful fellow and an heartless one at that.
Then you need to reduce what you give her monthly for housekeeping so you can start saving for yourself

Pirow:
You did bad because family matters are settled inside not outside.

Kindly see a marriage counselor with her in your parish OR see take her to your sponsors.

In addition commit everything about your home to God, nothing is impossible with God.

I will like to get detail from you if you wish

As if marriage counselor never scatter some people marriage.

evangmx:
I just lost my job like 2 months ago. I use my car to do can work. My wife works as well. And we have 2 children.

I want you to tell me the truth am I doing bad or good?

I pay all the bills at home, I still give out 15k every week for food.

But my wife still complain. I don't know what she use her salary to do. All I know is that she use to wear new cloth every Sunday and new shoes. And buys cloth for the children once in a while.

Pls tell me if am doing bad.

You are married to a very selfish parasite.

You need to put her in her place.

Her money can not be her money while your own money belongs to all the family.

You both own the children and everything you pay for in that house is enjoyed by her too.