SGANIVA:
I don't know if many people here even understand what am saying ,I sell tricycle, Keke and also gives out on hire purchase bases here in onitsha,I got married and full fill all traditional rite , now fix my wedding and traditional ceremony next year but with look of things and money that is involved .

I approached my in-laws to inform them my plans for ceremony the next year but the refuse because the know there daughter is pregnant already threatening me or all type of foul languages , now with lough calculation this things might cost extra 2milion , first Na season we dey , second as a business man , you will fix things that is convenient for your business , but with all this am afraid to continue with this kind of in-laws and wife ,I don't know maybe the think my business collapse because of the ones we did ,by asking me why I should marry there daughter if I know I don't have money

May be the pikin no be your own seff ....cos i dont see why your wife is not on your side in this matter andnd they are frustrating you...mayb them want make u vex say u no do again

Delay the parole...and see if they will tell you you they are not giving you their daughter again....that way u go knoe say another man dey the show

SGANIVA:
The are doing this at of pride ,there positions in church and pride in there village, but the knows all this and insist I buy all the things in the list without removing even a single Kobo , with just little above 800k I spent , adding small money or a million could have settled all this

1. Do you have to marry a girl who collects 800k+ ?
2. Your problem is that you've been configured to act like a weak man all your life, so when little things like these happens you falter.

My solution: Ignore them and start a rumor that you're planning to marry a Yoruba girl or something
With your level of weakness, I doubt you'll be able to do something astonishing.

OR

You can give in to all of their demands and continue to live like a slave, until you hit the ground and they carry your wife and pikin go meet another SIMPle man.

NOTE: her mother will still find ways to screw you soon. YOU DON'T KNOW, MAY GOD NO ALLOW THEM MAKE DEM.....

SGANIVA:
The are doing this at of pride ,there positions in church and pride in there village, but the knows all this and insist I buy all the things in the list without removing even a single Kobo , with just little above 800k I spent , adding small money or a million could have settled all this

Firstly, be informed that they are not doing it out of pride. Secondly, what tribe are you? If you are not of Igbo origin, let me clearly explain in simple terms what Igba Nkwu means and its significance.

Igba Nkwu Nwanyi, is a bride's wine carrying ceremony, wherein she looks out for the groom (her husband to be). It's practically meant for the community; a kind of notification to all members of the community, far and beyond, to be aware that she's about to be married out. By so doing, no one will ever come to the parents to seek their daughter's hand in marriage.

It's a very important and valuable traditional ceremony that complete the marriage rite. Without Igba Nkwu, the family or community at large, believe she's yet to be given out for marriage. That's why it's done/perfected in the presence of every member of the community.

This traditional rite is normally preceded by “Iku aka” also known as “Iju ese”, which means “coming to knock or inquiry”. Following this phase is the engagement and payment of bride price known as “Ime ego”.

Although, the traditional marriage list and bride price is the main thing involved in a traditional marriage. But in Igbo tradition, only after she has found the groom, offered the cup to him, and he has sipped the wine, is the couple married traditionally. This process is what is known as the Igba Nkwu. So, as it is now to her parents/family, she's yet to be married to you.

So, @OP, as I earlier advised, please give what belongs to cesser, to ceaser. Just try in little capacity, at most #300k, to finish the rite, thereafter, peacefully take your beautiful bride home. I know it's not easy, but for the sake and peace of your unborn child, complete what you have started. The family may seems difficult, but remember, if you want to catch a monkey, you behave to be a monkey. My cent.

advanceDNA:



May be the pikin no be your own seff ....cos i dont see why your wife is not on your side in this matter andnd they are frustrating you...mayb them want make u vex say u no do again

Delay the parole...and see if they will tell you you they are not giving you their daughter again....that way u go knoe say another man dey the show

It's really baffling the amount of men who are WEAK and lacking awareness these days.
I hope he listens, because the way he dey talk, comrade don go ooo.

Oga 800k is a big money for ordinary list and bride price , spending three million for ordinary marriage is much ,i suffered and am still suffering for my money ,I don't spend extravagantly because I know what it takes me to make money ,800 is for list alone and I don't know where you are coming from.total expenses will surely exceed 3milion, moreover am fixing the time that will be convenient for us the new family .

Personally if they feel there pride should be protected , the should surport there daughter and not scattering the marriage.no shame at all, I will surport my sister not scattering her new home or better allow us to be

klonboi:


Brother Please when it comes to marriage 800k is money for yoghurt and it's not something you drink and tell the whole world.
Though I don't know your level of income but
please stop emphasizing on the 800k you paid, you did it for your wife and she deserves more than that sef. Also whatever ceremony you do regarding your union is done just once in life, you don't repeat traditional marriage or white wedding.

Finally their is pride in bringing up a child to a marriageable level, trust me their are so many ladies that don't want to get married rather they prefer keeping several men or sampling several dks, I had one sometime ago. you found someone that wants to marry you please appreciate their parents for bringing her Up to be a wife. this you will find in every Godly home. Please appreciate the parents by doing at least a traditional celebration

Seems you don't read what I wrote , The don't accept cash , actually what the really wanted is both , because to them they don't want there daughter to give birth without wedding and that is why the created a scene ,my date is next year but the don't want because of self pride , should I do what is against my will because of them

imadiyi:

Firstly, be informed that they are not doing it out of pride. Secondly, what tribe are you? If you are not of Igbo origin, let me clearly explain in simple terms what Igba Nkwu means and its significance.

Igba Nkwu Nwanyi, is a bride's wine carrying ceremony, wherein she looks out for the groom (her husband to be). It's practically meant for the community; a kind of notification to all members of the community, far and beyond, to be aware that she's about to be married out. By so doing, no one will ever come to the parents to seek their daughter's hand in marriage.

It's a very important and valuable traditional ceremony that complete the marriage rite. Without Igba Nkwu, the family or community at large, believe she's yet to be given out for marriage. That's why it's done/perfected in the presence of every member of the community.

This traditional rite is normally preceded by “Iku aka” also known as “Iju ese”, which means “coming to knock or inquiry”. Following this phase is the engagement and payment of bride price known as “Ime ego”.

Although, the traditional marriage list and bride price is the main thing involved in a traditional marriage. But in Igbo tradition, only after she has found the groom, offered the cup to him, and he has sipped the wine, is the couple traditionally married. This process is what is known as the Igbo Nkwu.

So, @OP, as I earlier advised, please give what belongs to cesser, to ceaser. Just try in little capacity, at most #300k, to finish the rite, thereafter, peacefully take your beautiful bride home. I know it's not easy, but for the sake and peace of your unborn child, complete what you have started. The family may seems difficult, but remember, if you want to catch a monkey, behave to be a monkey. My cent.

SGANIVA:
Oga 800k is a big money for ordinary list and bride price , spending three million for ordinary marriage is much ,i suffered and am still suffering for my money ,I don't spend extravagantly because I know what it takes me to make money ,800 is for list alone and I don't know where you are coming from.total expenses will surely exceed 3milion, moreover am fixing the time that will be convenient for us the new family .

Personally if they feel there pride should be protected , the should surport there daughter and not scattering the marriage.no shame at all, I will surport my sister not scattering her new home or better allow us to be

Brother there's no amount that is too big for a woman you saw and decided she would be your wife.

Don't be surprised she might be the bread winner tomorrow as you will find in most homes today.

So many women are feeding their husbands and children in Nigeria today, I'm talking from experience.

SGANIVA:
Seems you don't read what I wrote , The don't accept cash , actually what the really wanted is both , because to them they don't want there daughter to give birth without wedding and that is why the created a scene ,my date is next year but the don't want because of self pride , should I do what is against my will because of them

I have read everything you wrote, and I vividly understood. What I meant with 300k, is for you to organize the Igba Nkwu with not more than the aforementioned amount. Shikena! Plead with them. Make them see reasons with you. At least, draw their attention to the fact that after the Igba Nkwu, their daughter and the unborn child needs to be adequately taken care of. Definitely, they would understand, and may decided to even support you if they feel your loyalty and humility. Let me remind you, you are in for a game now, you may not know.

All you need to do, is just for you to be cunning and loyal, as if you are at their mercy. OP, see, I feel your pain, that's why I keep trying to convince you for the good and betterment of your family's future. If you use legal process, definitely you will succeed, but I won't lie, it may not be the best.

InfinityFabric:

Which kind nonsense be dis ?
Op! Be proud of every Naira and Kobo of that 800K, people who spent less than 50K are having peace.
You deserve the peace especially in these times of rarely serious men (even tho you're still ignorant).

I think now you'll be forced to learn about female nature and how it will affect you.

You might be thinking that you have money today and be maltreating that woman. Wait until she becomes richer than you then your eyes go clear.

Some of you don't know that most men you see driving big today are being fed by their wives

Don't underestimate the grace a good woman brings to a home

klonboi:


You might be thinking that you have money today and be maltreating that woman. Wait until she becomes richer than you then your eyes go clear.

Some of you don't know that most men you see driving big today are being fed by their wives

Don't underestimate the grace a good woman brings to a home

That's just the truth. Some partners are blessed with grace. It's after you lost them you will know the grace you have washed away.

SGANIVA:
Please I need an advise ,I want dissolve my four months old marriage .

If you follow my post on nairaland you will see where I posted about looking for a wife some months ago ,yes someone later introduced me to this girl who's from anambra state dunukofia local government . I guess she's beautiful and possess some of the qualities I wanted from my own view , the person that introduced me to this lady already told her family all about me and my business . so no need of wasting time , we went to her place for the traditional rite with my people after three weeks of knowing her
.
Everything was successful after I have spent 800k on traditional rite , there elders insist I must do traditional marriage for the community (igba nkwu ) which my people argue but to no Vail ,well the later release my wife to me .
To God be the glory my wife became pregnant the second month ,there family started mounting pleasure on me again for the igba nkwu (traditional marriage ) and wedding , well this time my business was having a major shake up because is December already, we need to settle out with partners including financial institutions

My wife is from dunukofia, home town of Eddy Nnogwu side in anambra state.
Bride price and list is not up to 300k and I paid in cash everything thing. No party no canopy no speaker just family and elders from my town.
What am trying to say is that marriage some family dey make am hard for son-in-law while some like my wife family makes marriage easy and less spending.

Well, the message is not very clear.
You want to dissolve your marriage because were asked to perform traditional marriage, because you have spent much , because business is not going well or because the elders are disturbing you?

Igba I believe it's something you can combine with marital rites which you claimed to have paid for, just add small thing and it's done.

But because you didn't ask the right questions at the right time, you now struggle with its economic challenges.

Bros please if you love your wife, find time and take your people to hers and talk things over.. there is always a way around things.

Divorce shouldn't be an option here please

klonboi:


You might be thinking that you have money today and be maltreating that woman. Wait until she becomes richer than you then your eyes go clear.

Some of you don't know that most men you see driving big today are being fed by their wives

Don't underestimate the grace a good woman brings to a home

It think you're replying to the wrong person or the wrong message ?
I was never advocating for maltreating or what the hell are you smoking ?

You are lucky but this people with there personal ego , this people don't care oo

stancod:

My wife is from dunukofia, home town of Eddy Nnogwu side in anambra state.
Bride price and list is not up to 300k and I paid in cash everything thing. No party no canopy no speaker just family and elders from my town.
What am trying to say is that marriage some family dey make am hard for son-in-law while some like my wife family makes marriage easy and less spending.

Oga ikemefuna, the truth is that the family is seeing you as a rich person.

They know that you have the money and they are acting these way because they feel that you don't want to do the traditional marriage because you have gotten what you want. Which is getting their daughter pregnant.

They are not seeing your reasons from a business angle.

Like someone has suggested..

Tell them that if they insist then you will have to do a small gathering that you only have a little now.

Even me sef no go take insults from in laws.

I go leave them and their daughter.

Them no dey when you do nwa boy to take reach your level.

Aaaah My Gender wants to kill someone's Son!!! See eeeh...Just gather morale and tell them you are not doing again. That they should hold their daughter and keep the change.
By the time she stays with them for like a month with no word from you, all of them will wake up.
It seems you are too sentimental about this issue. If you handle it with kids gloves from day 1, it will remain that way and her family will keep manipulating you up and down.
Na man you be oooo..Shake body now...

SGANIVA:
Please I need an advise ,I want dissolve my four months old marriage .

If you follow my post on nairaland you will see where I posted about looking for a wife some months ago ,yes someone later introduced me to this girl who's from anambra state dunukofia local government . I guess she's beautiful and possess some of the qualities I wanted from my own view , the person that introduced me to this lady already told her family all about me and my business . so no need of wasting time , we went to her place for the traditional rite with my people after three weeks of knowing her
.
Everything was successful after I have spent 800k on traditional rite , there elders insist I must do traditional marriage for the community (igba nkwu ) which my people argue but to no Vail ,well the later release my wife to me .
To God be the glory my wife became pregnant the second month ,there family started mounting pleasure on me again for the igba nkwu (traditional marriage ) and wedding , well this time my business was having a major shake up because is December already, we need to settle out with partners including financial institutions

As you make your bed, so will you lie on it.

Enjoy the fruits of actions my brother.

Cheers

You married each other for the wrong reasons, I mean you've only known each for just 3 weeks and you were still strangers.

Were you that desperate?

Do you even know what you want?

SGANIVA:
Well my wife lacks nothing , my business can't even collapse even if I stay at home for a year but there response towards this issue is so disheartening , seems she married me for the wrong reasons .

This is not the kind of response I expect from my surpose in-laws and there daughter , and definitely this is not the kind of woman I wanted

I don't even know what to advice you right now bc this your matter get as e be. She's already pregnant for you, except offcourse u want to turn her to baby mama nd start paying for child support.

Samantha123:
You married each other for the wrong reasons, I mean you've only known each for just 3 weeks and you were still strangers.

Were you that desperate?

Do you even know what you want?

People's threshold for pressure is not the same...and the girl's family is putting him through too much.... the wife isnt even behaving like she cares about him....

they are all threatening him and using the child as leverage to force him to spend too much and at time he doesnt want to do so....

. i have seen first hand how this girl's tribe can be when my elder brother married one of them..
..I've never seen such level of demonic level of exploitation, entitlement, and being inconsiderate before... they came to their daughter's wedding like they were guests. .they ddnt contribute a kobo not even the clothes they wore..

Some of the people from tribe dont treat marriage like something both family does together......they behave like they are doing you a favor hence you must see hell before let you go.....

Of course she doesn't care about him, they've only known each other for 3 God damn weeks.. you don't get married to someone after 3 weeks or even after 3 months.

They're strangers, she doesn't know him and he doesn't know her.

Maybe your brother got married into a poor family..

advanceDNA:


People's threshold for pressure is not the same...and the girl's family is putting him through too much.... the wife isnt even behaving like she cares about him....

they are all threatening him and using the child as leverage to force him to spend too much and at time he doesnt want to do so....

. i have seen first hand how this girl's tribe can be when my elder brother married one of them..
..I've never seen such level of demonic level of exploitation, entitlement, and being inconsiderate before... they came to their daughter's wedding like they were guests. .they ddnt contribute a kobo not even the clothes they wore..

Some of the people from tribe dont treat marriage like something both family does together......they behave like they are doing you a favor hence you must see hell before let you go.....

Samantha123:
Of course she doesn't care about him, they've only known each other for 3 God damn weeks.. you don't get married to someone after 3 weeks or even after 3 months.

They're strangers, she doesn't know him and he doesn't know her.

Maybe your brother got married into a poor family..

Its not about being poor....its a horrible tradition from.that tribe...

Am not desperate just that am not the type that keep girl friend ,I was just living a very simple life , when it was time for marriage it was difficult to find a girl ,some men are like me who just dey mind there business and no time for controversies ,I saw her and really think it will work . some of my friends married like this and still living with there partners

Samantha123:
You married each other for the wrong reasons, I mean you've only known each for just 3 weeks and you were still strangers.

Were you that desperate?

Do you even know what you want?

SGANIVA:
Chai relationship or courtship is very important but not my line

Then you are not serious and deserve what is happening to you. I don’t know why Igbo men are very peculiar with this attitude of rush marriage without courting because they want to show they have small money.

I have heard stories of how Igbo men will go and disturb a girl in a happy relationship to marry them under less than a month of knowing her and they use money to force the girl and her family to marry the girl and it always ends in tears,either the girl still fucccks her boyfriend she was snatched from even after marrying you or some other weird issues like yours now.

As Long as some men think they can use their money to rush into marriage then them go always collect wotowotor las las

Wow!!! I guess I'll never understand some traditions.

I thought such things only happen in Bollywood movies and stories, reason why I can't stand any Bollywood or zeaworld stories.

Anyway, I guess it's a win or a lose situation, either you win or lose and you just happen to have lost.

But how do you get married to someone you're not in love with and don't even know

SGANIVA:
Am not desperate just that am not the type that keep girl friend ,I was just living a very simple life , when it was time for marriage it was difficult to find a girl ,some men are like me who just dey mind there business and no time for controversies ,I saw her and really think it will work . some of my friends married like this and still living with there partners

Sweetvie:
1. I wonder how u will married someone without knowing their culture... Is marriage by force?
2. Anyway,go and finish what you started


3.You can as well leave her with her family... When they are tired they will send her back shikenan

@Bolded
1. That's the mistakes most of these men makes just because a lady is beautiful and well endowed the next thing is on how to settle down with them without running a proper background check on her

2.Lol. he should go and finish it oo na who send am? no be him get too much money to dey spend over 800k for just introduction. so what was he expecting from his in laws to be after spending such a huge amount of money on just introduction he want to just walk away without doing the proper traditional wedding

3. When sapa knocks at their door they no dey tell person they go use their hand chase her out

FREDCLSSICO7:



@Bolded
1. That's the mistakes most of these men makes just because a lady is beautiful and well endowed the next thing is on how to settle down with them without running a proper background check on her

2.Lol. he should go and finish it oo na who send am? no be him get too much money to dey spend over 800k for just introduction. so what was he expecting from his in laws to be after spending such a huge amount of money on just introduction he want to just walk away without doing the proper traditional wedding

3. When sapa knocks at their door they no dey tell person they go use their hand chase her out

I just tire
Like I don tire for relationship matter on nland
He should go and finish what he started

Sweetvie:
I just tire Like I don tire for relationship matter on nland He should go and finish what he started

na every time people dey chop breakfast for here o hope say the breakfast never reach my sweetvie side

FREDCLSSICO7:


na every time people dey chop breakfast for here o
hope say the breakfast never reach my sweetvie side

Lmao... Mission impossible

SGANIVA:
Please I need an advise ,I want dissolve my four months old marriage .

If you follow my post on nairaland you will see where I posted about looking for a wife some months ago ,yes someone later introduced me to this girl who's from anambra state dunukofia local government . I guess she's beautiful and possess some of the qualities I wanted from my own view , the person that introduced me to this lady already told her family all about me and my business . so no need of wasting time , we went to her place for the traditional rite with my people after three weeks of knowing her
.
Everything was successful after I have spent 800k on traditional rite , there elders insist I must do traditional marriage for the community (igba nkwu ) which my people argue but to no Vail ,well the later release my wife to me .
To God be the glory my wife became pregnant the second month ,there family started mounting pleasure on me again for the igba nkwu (traditional marriage ) and wedding , well this time my business was having a major shake up because is December already, we need to settle out with partners including financial institutions

Bro the Union has already been melted beyond dissolve!!
my take is stand on your ground as a man of substance.

just free them , but be very careful, those people can be very fetish, if you truly want to end the marriage , continue painting a broke image of yourself , don't stop posting how things has gone bad even when you are winning, before you know it, they will back-out .

SGANIVA:
She's with her parents , and only listen to her mother

Op have a small simple traditional wedding. You don't need to spend much. Let your family take the offer to you wife's family. By the time the due date of the baby draws close, they will agree.