Capernum:


She was my cousin's best friend, I got to know her through my cousin. We flowed well while dating. She was so simple and down to earth. Although, I noticed a few red flags which I ignored and I was begged by even my mum and I accepted. My mum loved her so much, everyone love her until they get very very close to see some set of bad attitudes. They don't get to see until they are very very close.

And you know, I am sooo close to her, so I see these terrible things almost daily.

Like her naggings, emotional outbursts, (I have never seen her cry. Maybe when my mum died. (she loves my mum).

I see her as one proud and arrogant lady who was not properly trained

I can understand how this can be uncomfortable and unsettling for you.

Does she think you truly love her? Cos from your story she has an amazing side, albeit some weakness like everyone. Sometimes we could be the reason why ladies show up their negative side. There was no mention of unfaithfulness (even emotionally) in your story.

Kelvin3476:

GOD BLESS THIS UNION MORE

Amen... Thanks bro.

Yesssssssssssssssssssssss
Yesssssssssssssssssssssss
Yesssssssssssssssssssssss

Yes

Blesstar:
Good evening Nlanders.

A quick one..
I need your sincere opinions...

Married couples in the house, would you still WANT to be married to your current wife or husband in your next life?
(That's if there's such a thing as a next life though)

And pls do well to give reasons for your answers.

Sweetplum:

Did I tell you I m on adventure route in my present relationship or am not faithful ?
The question was in another life and I don't like eating same thing. I love varieties.
Men must know how to spice their relationships always.

Your maturity is on another level, believe me.
My comment was both sarcastic and offensive, yet you remained civil in your reply.
I was actually expecting attacks but no, you defeated me with your maturity.

THANK YOU.

advanceDNA:


Its wisdom until baba say bring part of junior school fees, part of rent, and part of other financial obligations.......

Because say na dem de born, they will not let someone hear word.
Childbirth is a very big deal but I believe it is made easy with certain strategies too.
To hustle for money nor easy too. No rest and a man's life is even on the line in hustling too.

I will marry my wife a million times over again ,, am 4 years into marriage, dated for 2years .. I believe I have enough experience to say this comfortably ... marriage is a blessing to me

MNDY:


Try and change this playing the victim mentality.
The earlier the better.
Married women cheat too as much as men do.
Everytime, you women are the only victim in everything according to you people.
Hustling out there is not also easy for the man as much as taking care of the home is for the woman.
These are gender roles for each of them. But they can assist to volunteer to assist the other.
In fact, taking care of the home is easier than finding money. You know this.

Remember not all women are full house. Wives. They hustle too so?

MadarasBlade:


Then women shouldn't marry, simple.

Thank heavens now you have agreed that marriage benefits men the most.

kurlz:



Remember not all women are full house. Wives. They hustle too so?

She has to take care of the home with her job then - Taking care of the home is her role in a marriage.
Career women leave the financial burden on only the man.
The belief that my money is my money and his money is our money in your gender.
A man should only volunteer to assist her in her role in the home if she assists the man in his role too. It has to be reciprocal.

Absolutely �

MNDY:


She has to take care of the home with her job then - Taking care of the home is her role in a marriage.
Career women leave the financial burden on only the man.
The belief that my money is my money and his money is our money in your gender.
A man should only volunteer to assist her in her role in the home if she assists the man in his role too. It has to be reciprocal.

Yes of cause, assisting with roles is dependant on both factors assisting each other.
Shouldn't be one sided.
But if they want to adhere strictly to their individual roles the man provides absolutely for the home while the woman also takes care of the home totally.

99% of Nigeria couples today wouldn't marry their present partner if come the next life. Marriage today is just make we just patch/manage am dey go till the end. No need deceiving ourselves

kurlz:



True! But African men especially Nigerians don't reason like this. The woman is made the beast of burden, and even supports financially also, and all some men do is bring money nothing more, yet she's seen as a liability that adds no value.
She changes her name, her body, bares you children all for you, takes care of your home and support the house's upkeep financially, and everyway, yet she is not appreciated. The Nigerian man galivants and frolics outside the marriage, lives like a king and subjects the woman to a slave and a nonentity yet he claims it's only women that benefits from marriage.
African/Nigerian men are clowns.

In the real sense, Who should be scared and tired of marriage? Is it not women?

You're an idiott. That's all I have to say to you. Common sense isn't common with this your write up. Maturity doesn't mean you gave sense. You are the category of women that wreck homes with this your sense of reasoning. Foool

Kelvin3476:

GOD BLESS THIS UNION MORE

Amen and yours

Yes ooooo

nenyewrites:



Yes
Yes
A man

I hope by without money you don't mean entirely penniless. Any human (not just men) without money isn't fit to be in a society.

Is penny not money?

GoooodHardDick:


A man gains absolutely nothing from marriage.

Marriage is a burden and a cage to a man. Marriage is a woman's biggest achievement. Have you seen a Man bragging about getting married before? Hell no! But you see ladies? Dem dey use am make mouth like mad knowing fully well their life depends on it because they're not bringing anything to the table at all

That is your lot when you marry a woman without any source of income. That setting may have worked in the time our mothers, but not in this present economic situation. And oga note that marriage is no longer an achievement for a lot of women. It is a woman that does not know her value and worth that considers being married to a man as an achievement. Biko not in this era!!

ChocolateWine:


I can understand how this can be uncomfortable and unsettling for you.

Does she think you truly love her? Cos from your story she has an amazing side, albeit some weakness like everyone. Sometimes we could be the reason why ladies show up their negative side. There was no mention of unfaithfulness (even emotionally) in your story.

As per faithfulness... She's been faithful in all honesty, we share the same passwords. There's virtually nothing she does that I don't know.

I have tried to check and see if I need to work up some attitudes in me. I tend to be a perfectionist myself and I have mellowed down on most of my complaints. But it appears as if she's not willing to adjust.

She's not organized. Can drop anything anywhere... She's not clinical, doesn't tie up loose ends... Doesn't complete chores she starts to do. I do the tidying, meanwhile she sees these things as a right. Little or no appreciation. She barely say sorry too.

Grandmeister:

Is English really that difficult? The word love has been used intermittently in many ways. Some Bible translations called it CHARITY. I went further to say people use the word love without understanding the true nature of love which is charity/ giving/sacrifice.
The love for a family member or a sexual partner can FAIL and it has failed since the beginning of time.

And it was simply pointed out to you that marriage can last and work quite fine without love. But you refuse to acknowledge that simple statement is true

Penguin2:
Hmmmm

I’m not married and I don’t think I’m ever getting married.

I get easily irritated with women being around me for long.

I’m just comfortable with fvck and go.

Maybe if I ever decide to marry, my wife would be staying in Enugu while I stay in Lagos. I will just be
visiting her once in a month and sometimes 2 months.

Anything other than that, I might seek for divorce within one month.

You are gay bro. Accept it.

Danisaint112:
From what I learnt here those that said NO are more than those that said YES.

And I wouldn't also be surprised if some saying YES do so because their spouse have an account here.

To be honest marriage is scary. I have many fears though and still considering it as an option.

Some of us that said yes...
Well we're talking about someone who may end up reading this, and who cooks your food

edogu:
Five years of marriage and it's as if we just got married yesterday. If there’s anything like another world, I will still get married to my wife.

Beautiful.
Congrats.
This should have been the first comment on this post.

Too much bitterness and bad energy on this site.
Some comments here are so discouraging.

Orobokibo1:
NO >>>NEVER AGAIN
at first she made me believe she was an angel and was only trying to complete me.
all that changed the moment she got that ring.

they are only hungry and looking for someone to change their societal status and someone to bear their burden

Wow

edogu:
Five years of marriage and it's as if we just got married yesterday. If there’s anything like another world, I will still get married to my wife.

Oh my God!! So lucky man!

Yes oooo,

Those in marriages under ten years: Yes, a million times over. Marriage is the sweetest thing ever. They then proceed to attack posters who claim otherwise.

Those in marriages over ten years: Never. If anything, I doubt I’d marry any female who comes my way in the next life. They then proceed to defend themselves from fourteen year old children typing rubbish as well as newly married people who think otherwise.

I’m only here shaking my head at how Nairaland has zero new topics. This chat forum is dead.

Hornygal360:




You are gay bro. Accept it.

Except that I can’t stay with a man either.

I love me my lone space.

Meanwhile, are you Hot?

Missluvydovy:
Beautiful.
Congrats.
This should have been the first comment on this post.

Too much bitterness and bad energy on this site.
Some comments here are so discouraging.

The commenter you quoted failed to include that his blissful 5yrs of marriage is a result of hard work, compromise, tolerance, sacrifice and not just a walk in the park.

Capernum:


As per faithfulness... She's been faithful in all honesty, we share the same passwords. There's virtually nothing she does that I don't know.

I have tried to check and see if I need to work up some attitudes in me. I tend to be a perfectionist myself and I have mellowed down on most of my complaints. But it appears as if she's not willing to adjust.

She's not organized. Can drop anything anywhere... She's not clinical, doesn't tie up loose ends... Doesn't complete chores she starts to do. I do the tidying, meanwhile she sees these things as a right. Little or no appreciation. She barely say sorry too.

You need to understand that you cannot have it all in one person as we all complement one another. It is also important to appreciate the difference between the two of you bcoz it's possible she's noticed some of your weaknesses/lapses but sees the need to appreciate your personality anyway.

Marriage is hard work!

Kelvin3476:
U are the one with that wahala and he is loving u like that and thats why u wil marry him again and again, bt if his wahala comes up then u won't tolerate it.

mtchew

I swear she wont tolerate it o!

Great0ne1:

Lol. She was never really dating you. She was simply taking advantage of you

We were actually legally married