Moniya4Real:
To be truthful and sincere to myself… And in line with my Christian faith. The reason I want to remarry is because of sex as I am already blessed with two wonderful boys

Omo Ibadan
E no dey hard or too early for my people to born

KingLennon:

We are saying the same thing sis...

Not really. Usually when those verses are quoted, they always remove that "unto the Lord". Without them knowing, responsibilities that are supposed to flow as a result of beholding Jesus won't flow. People will begin to struggle and depend on their own efforts to keep a marriage together which will wear them out. But when that last part is quoted, subconsciously, the women will want to submit to their husbands just like they submit to Jesus, and the men will want to love their wives as Jesus loves the church and gave His life for the church.

micxwell:
The way people are selfishly quoting incomplete scriptures ehn! Yet many will claim they want a man or a lady that has the "fear of God"; Unfortunately our understanding of the fear of God is flawed hence the problem we have today.

That is true.

He is so right!!!!

Na packaging we dey package

Marriage is a scam

It is pity wia we find ourselves at the later stage of life.

Wia at youth and working, u r hailed, even in church.
Years on and retired, your mother in law labelled you 'ala bo do' - meaning one is being fed for d other room.

Make we dey do packaging dey go.

IamMobisola:

Yes today’s women can’t stand it that’s why divorce rate is high. Today’s men can’t also stand it, that’s why divorce rate is high. But some are still staying because of the same reasons some of the oldies stayed in their marriage.

Rita dominic got married at 36/37, do you know the names she was called before then? Do you know what she faced before then? Same as other women who got married in their late 30s or early 40s. The African society has this belief that a woman is nothing without a husband, this is one of the reasons why some women are still staying with their husbands even after series of domestic violence episodes, this is the reason why some women would rather than with the MRS title. Religion is mother reason why people are still married because it says God hates divorce. See the case of the Late singer Osinachi who suffered years of domestic abuse in the hands of her husband rather than leaving. Studies showed that over 30% of married women died in their hands of their husbands from domestic abuse. Why didn’t they leave? Religion? Society?

Same with men who face different issues in their marriages, rather than walking away from it they choose to stay. There are few cases of people who committed suicide because of issues with their spouses

I understand your point but left to me, I would choose the older generation marriages. Which would you?

Thattallgirl:
Not really. Usually when those verses are quoted, they always remove that "unto the Lord". Without them knowing, responsibilities that are supposed to flow as a result of beholding Jesus won't flow. People will begin to struggle and depend on their own efforts to keep a marriage together which will wear them out. But when that last part is quoted, subconsciously, the women will want to submit to their husbands just like they submit to Jesus, and the men will want to love their wives as Jesus loves the church and gave His life for the church.

So you're saying that it is the 'unto the Lord' part that is causing these problems?

This one na pastor abi na teacher?

I don't fear anything again even death himself. if it is not working, we cut it.

Whether we like it or not, truth remains that OUR "FREEDOM WILL BE OUR UNDOING."

A society that allows anyone to do as they like without hindrance is only heading for disaster.

You can blame the past marriages of our parents all you like, but truth remains that it kept the society SANE!

This generation wants to have all the freedom to do as they like. They quote "affecting their Mental health" as excuse at the slightest opportunity.
That is why we see LGBT and the likes springing up with full force all over the world. FREEDOM is a CURSE!

A sane society must keep frowning on divorce, singlehood of adults, sexual immoralities,(sex outside marriage) etc

Allowances for divorces should be reduced in other to save the society from crumbling.
Unfortunately we are fast at copying the western culture and calling it "enlightment"

In years from now we will see the result of that "freedom to do and undo" we so crave for.

KingLennon:

So you're saying that it is the 'unto the Lord' part that is causing these problems?

Whether a couple marries right or not, as long as they're married, it's Jesus that should be the centre of their marriage.

In every christian marriage, these verses are well known but the question is that do they see Jesus in that marriage that in everything the wife/husband is doing, he/she is doing it for Jesus because the wife knows how much Jesus loves her and she's able to submit to Him and also find the strength to submit to her husband, and the husband knows how much Jesus loves Him that He gave His life for him, and as such will find the strength to love his wife the way Christ loves him...or do they just focus on "doing" their part and telling the other person to also do their part which may lead to exhaustion and sometimes bitterness.

So yea, the love Jesus has for us isn't preached enough that couples will be able to draw from that love and flow in their responsibilities towards their spouse. That's why that last part in those verses should have more emphasis instead of the "submit to your husband" or the "love your wife" parts. People have been hearing about the first parts of those verses and still marriages are breaking.

You and your wife have that strength to be able to hold on to that instruction which is great but not everyone can be like that. Others need to know just how much they're loved by their Abba before they can love or submit to another person. It is God Himself who works in us to do His good pleasure.

Marriage na scam. I am beginning to hate it.

Marriage these days na play.

KingLennon:

I understand your point but left to me, I would choose the older generation marriages. Which would you?

I would choose none actually.
Co-parenting is not much better

jagjag:


For your information and Incase of next time, there is nothing like people are compatible. No one is compatible with anyone, we are all different and unique in our own ways and can never people compatible. If we are compatible, there won't be need for forgiveness in marriage, compromise, patience, understanding and etc. So let's all remove the idea of compatibility. Marriage is about two different person with the capacity to forgive, understand, compromise, unlearn and learn and any other attributes to put in the effort to make a marriage work. So marriage is not about I am compatible with someone, after all, what is the yardstick you use in measuring your compatibility with some who can change in character, attitude or whatever 5 years into the marriage. The question is that as a man or woman, do you have the qualities and ready to put in the work to sustain a marriage. If not, remain single until you are ready.

Very interesting and thought provoking view point.

Moniya4Real:
To be truthful and sincere to myself… And in line with my Christian faith. The reason I want to remarry is because of sex as I am already blessed with two wonderful boys

You don’t have to re-marry brother. Your boys are your assets and they’re enough. Be taking care of them yourself. Kids are very easy to take care of as a man. Then Instead of marriage again, what I’ll advice you to do is to;

Observe a lady. Initiate a FWB with her. Tell her you have kids and don’t tell her anything regarding taking care of your kids. Whenever the girl is around, try to always do 1 or 2 things for her face to signal her senses that you’re really taking care of your kids..

No worry. Leave the rest. She’ll be standing up herself to help you take care of them. Women loves taking care of kids, either theirs or not. The instinct is in them naturally..

Just for your peace. Make it 1 girl at a time. If she bleeps up, free her and get another..

Forget about that you’re a Christain for now and start thinking what’s best for yourself and kids..

God didn’t tell anybody to marry. Nah man sit down write it all for papers..

ednut1:
Marriage is about sacrifice and raising the next generation of children. Its not about how you feel or fairytales. Pastor rest

And I guess it's the man sacrificing for the woman....men don suffer.....

ednut1:
Marriage is about sacrifice and raising the next generation of children. Its not about how you feel or fairytales. Pastor rest

That one na lie!

KingLennon:

Am not saying, all marriages back then were roses. Am just saying divorce rate was lesser. And growing up I saw many couples growing together till old age....u get the point?

Pastor just told you the reason 3y divorce rate appeared less then and why many of them continue to hold on while their kids won't

IamMobisola:

I would choose none actually.
Co-parenting is not much better

Co-parenting? Damn Funny! Now I know your background. Let's end the convo

Meandmycrew:
And how are you sure yours wont pack up mr preacher?

So long as marriage involves at least one human being expect change to happen at some point and that change could mean the person is no longer in love with you.

jagjag:


For your information and Incase of next time, there is nothing like people are compatible. No one is compatible with anyone, we are all different and unique in our own ways and can never people compatible. If we are compatible, there won't be need for forgiveness in marriage, compromise, patience, understanding and etc. So let's all remove the idea of compatibility. Marriage is about two different person with the capacity to forgive, understand, compromise, unlearn and learn and any other attributes to put in the effort to make a marriage work. So marriage is not about I am compatible with someone, after all, what is the yardstick you use in measuring your compatibility with some who can change in character, attitude or whatever 5 years into the marriage. The question is that as a man or woman, do you have the qualities and ready to put in the work to sustain a marriage. If not, remain single until you are ready.

You get better sense...

KingLennon:

Co-parenting? Damn Funny! Now I know your background. Let's end the convo

You know absolutely nothing about my background. My parents are still happily married, 35 years and counting.

Now I know you are one of those immature kids on nairaland.
Let’s end the convo

maasoap:


It scares you only because you been scared already that Mr Gold hates divorce. If you know that you can exit a bad marriage at will, it won't scare you. And couples will realise that both need to put efforts to make it work otherwise the other partner might exit

I agree with you 100%

Thattallgirl:
Whether a couple marries right or not, as long as they're married, it's Jesus that should be the centre of their marriage.

In every christian marriage, these verses are well known but the question is that do they see Jesus in that marriage that in everything the wife/husband is doing, he/she is doing it for Jesus because the wife knows how much Jesus loves her and she's able to submit to Him and also find the strength to submit to her husband, and the husband knows how much Jesus loves Him that He gave His life for him, and as such will find the strength to love his wife the way Christ loves him...or do they just focus on "doing" their part and telling the other person to also do their part which may lead to exhaustion and sometimes bitterness.

So yea, the love Jesus has for us isn't preached enough that couples will be able to draw from that love and flow in their responsibilities towards their spouse. That's why that last part in those verses should have more emphasis instead of the "submit to your husband" or the "love your wife" parts. People have been hearing about the first parts of those verses and still marriages are breaking.

You and your wife have that strength to be able to hold on to that instruction which is great but not everyone can be like that. Others need to know just how much they're loved by their Abba before they can love or submit to another person. It is God Himself who works in us to do His good pleasure.

Everyone out here loves Jesus, even witches will admit they do! I think what should be preached should be love. What love is? Attributes of love.

BigBashiru:


And I guess it's the man sacrificing for the woman....men don suffer.....

both sacrificing

Godfullsam:
Some marriages don expire even before their first child clock 20 yrs.Most couples are only stay on extra time.
I have noticed that what bind these young marriage together is sex. Once the couples have out grown the age of sexual attraction, things automatically fall apart and the begin to act like room mates.

More and more the younger couples are refusing to bow to the same old lies that their parents did ..... that is simply what is happening. Their parent's in the "suffering-&-marriage" type marriages couldn't teach them what love is in marriage since they too have no clue but one thing the kids learnt is they it is not worth anything to endure "suffering-&'smiling" sentence.

I think Marriage is supposed to either end up to a year after it starts or ten years after. But no in between. If you don't find your marriage palatable, you'd know after a year of being in that marriage. By then, you won't have too many obligations. Maybe just a kid, if you're lucky. But people who persevere deserve to be in that marriage for at least the next ten years. It won't be fair to the kids if you ended the marriage while they're still very young. Give it ten years. Then end the marriage. Finally, there's no other option. Once all your kids are adults, there really is no reason why you're sticking around.

Please note that still, there are certain actions that are unforgivable and the marriage has to be terminated immediately.

1. Repeated physical abuse and threat of bodily harm to spouse.
2. Repeated physical abuse and threat of bodily harm to kids.
3. Sexual abuse or misconduct of any kind to either spouse or kids.
4. Criminality and threat to public (should also be reported to police).
5. Homicide, murder, sexual abuse to anyone

IamMobisola:

You know absolutely nothing about my background. My parents are still happily married, 35 years and counting.

Now I know you are one of those immature kids on nairaland.
Let’s end the convo

I thought we were christians? Co-parenting is a NO to me. Am a victim of it! U now see it? It's like living all through your life in a lie. Both couples can do whatever they like, no that's not a home dear! And the kid aspect? I'll forgive you (◔‿◔)

Porksupplyib:
■Whether we like it or not, truth remains that OUR "FREEDOM WILL BE OUR UNDOING." A society that allows anyone to do as they like without hindrance is only heading for disaster. You can blame the past marriages of our parents all you like, but truth remains that it kept the society SANE!

■This generation wants to have all the freedom to do as they like. They quote "affecting their Mental health" as excuse at the slightest opportunity.
That is why we see LGBT and the likes springing up with full force all over the world. FREEDOM is a CURSE!
A sane society must keep frowning on divorce, singlehood of adults, sexual immoralities,(sex outside marriage) etc

■Allowances for divorces should be reduced in other to save the society from crumbling.
Unfortunately we are fast at copying the western culture and calling it "enlightment" In years from now we will see the result of that "freedom to do and undo" we so crave for.

1. Stop lying! It only kept women shackled while men we allowed to abandon them and even their kids after using them. Same trend you see even today.

2. This generation is a product of the mistakes of your ancestors. Think carefully of it all that way and you may begin to realize that the fire you see today was kindled from smoke raised by your ancestors.

3. So you want to pretty much return to days of marriage as a prison sentence for women , and let me guess, not for men, like your ancestors had it?.LOL...

KingLennon:

Everyone out here loves Jesus, even witches will admit they do! I think what should be preached should be love. What love is? Attributes of love.

Oh I wasn't talking about our love for Jesus. I was talking about His love for us.

Thattallgirl:
Oh I wasn't talking about our love for Jesus. I was talking about His love for us.

Ok better

perdollar:
Marriage na scam. I am beginning to hate it.

Marriage has never been a scam. Instead, it is an agreement one has to enter into with eyes wide open not a brain filled with love chemicals and body high on sex hormones.