U guys should stop throwing insult on the op,he needs advice

Kobojunkie:
I don't know what that means.

u dont knw wat it means and you dey jamtalk quoting rubbish as if it not blood runing in ur vain.calling her not picking,she also change his name on her phone.1million reason to be upset and suspicious.for d fact dat he didnt raise hands on her not a good reason for her to pack out on her own.

olamoses75:
your suspicions about her was right. She has options. You’re not the only man in her life, true be told. No sensible woman who has no other man somewhere will pack out of her husband house like that. A reasonable woman will come back from her trip, knee and beg for reconciliation. Just move on with your life already and start planning on how you can take custody of your son through legal means. Don’t make the mistake of taking her back, otherwise she’ll keep blackmailing you emotionally because she knows you love her too much. That’s one of the disadvantages of showing how much you love a woman to her face. Women get bored of such easily.

Walahi you try. Na man you be

Kobojunkie:
Start by going for professional anger management counseling to at least deal with your anger and trust issues. You don't sound at all like a man in love but a man who has anger issues and trying to keep up an image at the same time but that hasn't been working well for you has it?

Give your wife and her family time to marinade in what has taken place and maybe decide on what could come next. You will only be a liar showing up to beg for her back at this point this since there is no way these problems only started back with the December 26th story you fed you here. Start asap by getting yourself help for your anger problems, and then when you go see her at her folk's place — when you receive permission to— you can at least show her you have made progress and will likely not panel beat her again.

senseless advice

Kobojunkie:
I don't know what that means.

u dont knw wat it means and you dey jamtalk quoting rubbish as if it not blood runing in ur vain.calling her not picking,she also change his name on her phone.1million reason to be upset and suspicious.for d fact dat he didnt raise hands on her dat is not a good reason for her to pack out on her own.

rapwizzy:


Don't judge a book by it cover...

YOU ARE VERY STUPID

breakthrough22:


If she stays too long in her father house,I will never accept her back .

Seriously, I have missed my family but I am not accepting her back if she spend the remaining days in January in his dad house and I will never send a dime to them

Na ego go kill una. In all your mistakes, you still have pride.
Why can't you work on your anger issue and talk things out with your wife? What makes you think the next woman will tolerate the level she's done with you? Why can't you just reassure your woman of your love to her?

Consider first that she's human, you don't put inside dustbin all because of "I AM THE MAN", this is totally unfair. You just admitted you were wrong, why do what you're supposed to do to bring her home?

Chineke mere anyị ebere.

breakthrough22:
Good evenning ,

I came back home from work this night to find out my wife and my son have packed and abandoned me .

My son is 4 years old and I really don't mean to hurt my wife .

She travelled on the 26th of December to her dad house here in Lagos .I missed her so much and I sent her money to come back last Saturday though she said she will be coming on Sunday only for me to call her between 2pm and 8pm without her picking the call .

The phone rang times without number .I later gave the last try and the no was busy answering other call .She later picked and said there was no light .So,she couldn't charge. I was mad because the excuse was too flimsy .I challenged her to tell her but your phone rang .I was mad and I lost trust in her that moment and flashed back to the excuse that she will not come on Saturday.

Seriously ,I was angry and different thoughts came to my mind like May be she went to see another man .

That hour ,I told her I don't want to see her again .I was angry though .She didn't come on Sunday. She came back very early yesterday which was Monday.

I will not lie ,I have been so angry ,ranting and telling her to go back to her parent house that I don't trust her again.

To my surprise ,I came back tonight and she already packed all her loads ,packed my son things without leaving any thing .Her wardrobe and my son wardrobe have been empty as I am typing .She packed everything .

Seriously ,I am depressed cos I love her .I love my son .I can't even allow him to stay over there to start schooling. Me and my wife have been together since 2013 .We have gone through a lot of difficulties together and now ,things are beginning to look good for us .I am so down right now .I called he dad and her brother .It is like they took that decision together .

I have never beaten her before but I do nag especially when bills are weighing me down .His dad and his brother was just shouting at me .Fear of been a single dad or living alone at this stage of my life will make me a walking ghost and the fact that ,I really love my son too and also my wife too will one day kill me .

Imagine ,that Saturday she changed what she saved my no with and saved with my son name.I attached my call history .Check the image of the missed calls.

Please what do I do?I am devastated .


Some of her chats this night ..

[1/10, 9:35 PM] SWEETHEART: Hv always endure with u even though u did not hv money,but u always rain insult on me everyday .am not coming back I want to work and make my own money,u said u hv never achieved anything good bcoz of me!u said I am your biggest mistake in life and now hv made up my mind with you.you pushed me to the wall!u make me carry luggage in the hot sun and cry ,am tired,I cried and cried and endure all bcoz of love so nao am ready to work and earn good for myself and my son.
[1/10, 9:40 PM] SWEETHEART: U can change ur key am not coming again
[1/10, 9:46 PM] SWEETHEART: Am not ,u know is too late for me to come back to .... and u urself know is my biggest fear bcoz I don't like coming here but u make me come back,is too late. Even wen u always tell me to go,I will still wait but u make me come back to my fear It is too late.
[1/10, 9:46 PM] SWEETHEART: ...will start school on Monday here and just take responsibility of it, if u don't want to loose ur son too.

Abeg eee she can go to ….
What has she contributed in the house other than provide pussy .
She has always wanted to leave, accompanied with the evil virus of divorce and breakups in the marriage air lately.
My nephew also just broke up with his wife this January. As a matter of fact he called it quit himself for his own sanity and this time we all support him.
Your child is your child, he will always come looking for his father.
Let her work and pay the boys fees and feel what you feel.

breakthrough22:
Good evenning ,

I came back home from work this night to find out my wife and my son have packed and abandoned me .

My son is 4 years old and I really don't mean to hurt my wife .

She travelled on the 26th of December to her dad house here in Lagos .I missed her so much and I sent her money to come back last Saturday though she said she will be coming on Sunday only for me to call her between 2pm and 8pm without her picking the call .

The phone rang times without number .I later gave the last try and the no was busy answering other call .She later picked and said there was no light .So,she couldn't charge. I was mad because the excuse was too flimsy .I challenged her to tell her but your phone rang .I was mad and I lost trust in her that moment and flashed back to the excuse that she will not come on Saturday.

Seriously ,I was angry and different thoughts came to my mind like May be she went to see another man .

That hour ,I told her I don't want to see her again .I was angry though .She didn't come on Sunday. She came back very early yesterday which was Monday.

I will not lie ,I have been so angry ,ranting and telling her to go back to her parent house that I don't trust her again.

To my surprise ,I came back tonight and she already packed all her loads ,packed my son things without leaving any thing .Her wardrobe and my son wardrobe have been empty as I am typing .She packed everything .

Seriously ,I am depressed cos I love her .I love my son .I can't even allow him to stay over there to start schooling. Me and my wife have been together since 2013 .We have gone through a lot of difficulties together and now ,things are beginning to look good for us .I am so down right now .I called he dad and her brother .It is like they took that decision together .

I have never beaten her before but I do nag especially when bills are weighing me down .His dad and his brother was just shouting at me .Fear of been a single dad or living alone at this stage of my life will make me a walking ghost and the fact that ,I really love my son too and also my wife too will one day kill me .

Imagine ,that Saturday she changed what she saved my no with and saved with my son name.I attached my call history .Check the image of the missed calls.

Please what do I do?I am devastated .


Some of her chats this night ..

[1/10, 9:35 PM] SWEETHEART: Hv always endure with u even though u did not hv money,but u always rain insult on me everyday .am not coming back I want to work and make my own money,u said u hv never achieved anything good bcoz of me!u said I am your biggest mistake in life and now hv made up my mind with you.you pushed me to the wall!u make me carry luggage in the hot sun and cry ,am tired,I cried and cried and endure all bcoz of love so nao am ready to work and earn good for myself and my son.
[1/10, 9:40 PM] SWEETHEART: U can change ur key am not coming again
[1/10, 9:46 PM] SWEETHEART: Am not ,u know is too late for me to come back to .... and u urself know is my biggest fear bcoz I don't like coming here but u make me come back,is too late. Even wen u always tell me to go,I will still wait but u make me come back to my fear It is too late.
[1/10, 9:46 PM] SWEETHEART: ...will start school on Monday here and just take responsibility of it, if u don't want to loose ur son too.

Carry courage go carry ur wife back na today my mom and my dad they do pack and go upon that na them still dey together now, except u get another option

You've not beat her before, but your bad mouth has done more harm than good, your utterances made her feel worthless, Chai.. thank God she has a family that took her back.

Just seat back and continue with your Feb. count down..nah her shadow you go see, don't work on your ego/ nagging self

breakthrough22:


Power outage and the phone was ringing ?

It is ok. THANKS for the advice

Maybe you have been making the same statement over and over gain, and she feel like honouring your wish to punish you.

If that was not the case, just know that your wife is no longer in love or respect you. No woman will leave her cherished marriage when nobody really pursue her. He is probably being deceiving by a guy or her Ex.

Stop calling anyone again, she will come back when you is tired.

breakthrough22:
Good evenning ,

I came back home from work this night to find out my wife and my son have packed and abandoned me .

My son is 4 years old and I really don't mean to hurt my wife .

She travelled on the 26th of December to her dad house here in Lagos .I missed her so much and I sent her money to come back last Saturday though she said she will be coming on Sunday only for me to call her between 2pm and 8pm without her picking the call .

The phone rang times without number .I later gave the last try and the no was busy answering other call .She later picked and said there was no light .So,she couldn't charge. I was mad because the excuse was too flimsy .I challenged her to tell her but your phone rang .I was mad and I lost trust in her that moment and flashed back to the excuse that she will not come on Saturday.

Seriously ,I was angry and different thoughts came to my mind like May be she went to see another man .

That hour ,I told her I don't want to see her again .I was angry though .She didn't come on Sunday. She came back very early yesterday which was Monday.

I will not lie ,I have been so angry ,ranting and telling her to go back to her parent house that I don't trust her again.

To my surprise ,I came back tonight and she already packed all her loads ,packed my son things without leaving any thing .Her wardrobe and my son wardrobe have been empty as I am typing .She packed everything .

Seriously ,I am depressed cos I love her .I love my son .I can't even allow him to stay over there to start schooling. Me and my wife have been together since 2013 .We have gone through a lot of difficulties together and now ,things are beginning to look good for us .I am so down right now .I called he dad and her brother .It is like they took that decision together .

I have never beaten her before but I do nag especially when bills are weighing me down .His dad and his brother was just shouting at me .Fear of been a single dad or living alone at this stage of my life will make me a walking ghost and the fact that ,I really love my son too and also my wife too will one day kill me .

Imagine ,that Saturday she changed what she saved my no with and saved with my son name.I attached my call history .Check the image of the missed calls.

Please what do I do?I am devastated .


Some of her chats this night ..

[1/10, 9:35 PM] SWEETHEART: Hv always endure with u even though u did not hv money,but u always rain insult on me everyday .am not coming back I want to work and make my own money,u said u hv never achieved anything good bcoz of me!u said I am your biggest mistake in life and now hv made up my mind with you.you pushed me to the wall!u make me carry luggage in the hot sun and cry ,am tired,I cried and cried and endure all bcoz of love so nao am ready to work and earn good for myself and my son.
[1/10, 9:40 PM] SWEETHEART: U can change ur key am not coming again
[1/10, 9:46 PM] SWEETHEART: Am not ,u know is too late for me to come back to .... and u urself know is my biggest fear bcoz I don't like coming here but u make me come back,is too late. Even wen u always tell me to go,I will still wait but u make me come back to my fear It is too late.
[1/10, 9:46 PM] SWEETHEART: ...will start school on Monday here and just take responsibility of it, if u don't want to loose ur son too.

Check yourself and make your marriage work.

ngwababe:


Na ego go kill una. In all your mistakes, you still have pride.
Why can't you work on your anger issue and talk things out with your wife? What makes you think the next woman will tolerate the level she's done with you? Why can't you just reassure your woman of your love to her?

Consider first that she's human, you don't put inside dustbin all because of "I AM THE MAN", this is totally unfair. You just admitted you were wrong, why do what you're supposed to do to bring her home?

Chineke mere anyị ebere.

What’s his mistake ?
Why will his wife leave the house for several days until the point the husband will start begging her to come home ?
He got angry and asked her to sit in her fathers house and she gladly obliged.
E don tey wey the marriage tire her and her parents support her


@OP enjoy your life .
You not come this life for anybody but yourself.
The first few days and week are the toughest alone but you will get your mojo back 4 sure

breakthrough22:
Good evenning ,

I came back home from work this night to find out my wife and my son have packed and abandoned me .

My son is 4 years old and I really don't mean to hurt my wife .

She travelled on the 26th of December to her dad house here in Lagos .I missed her so much and I sent her money to come back last Saturday though she said she will be coming on Sunday only for me to call her between 2pm and 8pm without her picking the call .

The phone rang times without number .I later gave the last try and the no was busy answering other call .She later picked and said there was no light .So,she couldn't charge. I was mad because the excuse was too flimsy .I challenged her to tell her but your phone rang .I was mad and I lost trust in her that moment and flashed back to the excuse that she will not come on Saturday.

Seriously ,I was angry and different thoughts came to my mind like May be she went to see another man .

That hour ,I told her I don't want to see her again .I was angry though .She didn't come on Sunday. She came back very early yesterday which was Monday.

I will not lie ,I have been so angry ,ranting and telling her to go back to her parent house that I don't trust her again.

To my surprise ,I came back tonight and she already packed all her loads ,packed my son things without leaving any thing .Her wardrobe and my son wardrobe have been empty as I am typing .She packed everything .

Seriously ,I am depressed cos I love her .I love my son .I can't even allow him to stay over there to start schooling. Me and my wife have been together since 2013 .We have gone through a lot of difficulties together and now ,things are beginning to look good for us .I am so down right now .I called he dad and her brother .It is like they took that decision together .

I have never beaten her before but I do nag especially when bills are weighing me down .His dad and his brother was just shouting at me .Fear of been a single dad or living alone at this stage of my life will make me a walking ghost and the fact that ,I really love my son too and also my wife too will one day kill me .

Imagine ,that Saturday she changed what she saved my no with and saved with my son name.I attached my call history .Check the image of the missed calls.

Please what do I do?I am devastated .


Some of her chats this night ..

[1/10, 9:35 PM] SWEETHEART: Hv always endure with u even though u did not hv money,but u always rain insult on me everyday .am not coming back I want to work and make my own money,u said u hv never achieved anything good bcoz of me!u said I am your biggest mistake in life and now hv made up my mind with you.you pushed me to the wall!u make me carry luggage in the hot sun and cry ,am tired,I cried and cried and endure all bcoz of love so nao am ready to work and earn good for myself and my son.
[1/10, 9:40 PM] SWEETHEART: U can change ur key am not coming again
[1/10, 9:46 PM] SWEETHEART: Am not ,u know is too late for me to come back to .... and u urself know is my biggest fear bcoz I don't like coming here but u make me come back,is too late. Even wen u always tell me to go,I will still wait but u make me come back to my fear It is too late.
[1/10, 9:46 PM] SWEETHEART: ...will start school on Monday here and just take responsibility of it, if u don't want to loose ur son too.

If you truly married her legally and traditionally, let your parents know. They should arrange to meet with her family.

Second, if you belong to a church, let your pastor know about it. He will counsel and pray with you.

Above all, talk to God about it in prayers.

And make up your mind to control your anger. And never presume anything about your spouse concerning cheating. It hurts badly if she is not cheating on you.

If her dad or her people don support her move ....forget about her and move on with ur life

My brother just carry your cross.
People like you re the problem of nigerian.
As for me I will just find small side chic and weed to chill my body.who who wife help.
Let another man have second hand value.

abbey621:
Mr. man do you want to hear the truth or gibberish from people whose homes are not tidy itself? Concentrate on your son, hire a good lawyer, go to court and sue for custody. In Nigeria, the father gets to keep the child 90% of the time especially if the child is no longer a baby. Why did I say forget the woman? It is simple, she can be a nice lovely wife but her family's behavior is unacceptable. A good parent would call the husband over and find ways to resolve the issues not pour kerosene on it!

See, it is clear that they don't rate you and the best you can do is be a man and not show weakness in this situation. Yes you have anger issue, yes you said hurtful words but a wife that cannot discern the difference between anger and hate deserves to be single. Give her what she wants, time at her father's house but make sure you fight for your son, nothing more, nothing less.....RUBBISH!

@Op these are the exact words I meant to say but I couldn’t put them together as perfect as this

Truly your in laws nor regard you at all.
Do exactly what you’ve being advice by this fellow.
A woman who cannot differentiate between hate and anger of her man, deserves to be single

Breakthrough22 First red flag from your comments so far is believing you are doing her (your wife) favour by taking care of your responsibility as a husband that is why you see her as a parasite and leech. Your response to one of those NL kids that she can't survive on her own confirms your immaturity.

What gave you impression she can't be financially better than you within months.

Try to reach out to her and mend things where necessary.

Alaye work on Ur anger management because of Ur next victim......So pe otilo.

Kobojunkie:
Start by going for professional anger management counseling to at least deal with your anger and trust issues. You don't sound at all like a man in love but a man who has anger issues and trying to keep up an image at the same time but that hasn't been working well for you has it?

Give your wife and her family time to marinade in what has taken place and maybe decide on what could come next. You will only be a liar showing up to beg for her back at this point this since there is no way these problems only started back with the December 26th story you fed you here. Start asap by getting yourself help for your anger problems, and then when you go see her at her folk's place — when you receive permission to— [b]you can at least show her you have made progress and will likely not panel beat her again.

/b]

Try reading very before commenting. Did you read anywhere in the OP’s post that he beats his wife ?

I know many single women training their kids now , even in the university.
Gone are the days.
Only a lazy woman will not be able to care for a couple of kids.

Jashub:
Op, forget her and move on . When hunger and shame torture her she'll come crawling back. Secondly , it won't be easy for her to find someone willing to marry her and bear the burden of carrying the financial responsibility of her son .

Lol...Infact , I pity this woman . She's deluded and doesn't know that being a single mother is the worst sentence a woman can give herself in this harsh economy.

abbey621:
Mr. man do you want to hear the truth or gibberish from people whose homes are not tidy itself? Concentrate on your son, hire a good lawyer, go to court and sue for custody. In Nigeria, the father gets to keep the child 90% of the time especially if the child is no longer a baby. Why did I say forget the woman? It is simple, she can be a nice lovely wife but her family's behavior is unacceptable. A good parent would call the husband over and find ways to resolve the issues not pour kerosene on it!

See, it is clear that they don't rate you and the best you can do is be a man and not show weakness in this situation. Yes you have anger issue, yes you said hurtful words but a wife that cannot discern the difference between anger and hate deserves to be single. Give her what she wants, time at her father's house but make sure you fight for your son, nothing more, nothing less.....RUBBISH!

This here.

Listen to some quality advice from a man who says he's happily married in a foreign land.

You'll never understand because you have never been in love.

emmanuelbrown26:
I always feel ashame of sharing dis generation with idiots like op. It's high time we start asking some fathers the kind of training they gave to their male child/children.
We now hv too many weakling, boys in men skin, girls in boys skin. Where did we get it wrong? Is it civilization? Or social media?
Just take a very good look at what a so called boy wrote up their, being depressed bcs of ur wife? Damn damn damn

The OP is a confused fellow under the control of anger and immaturity.

You said your wife is your biggest MISTAKE in life, you pushed the mistake away from you, but now you want the mistake back?

We request for Respect, Love, Trust and Loyalty from our wives. However , if you want to have a happy and peaceful marriage, you have to give those same things back.

Your wife may be your woman but don't forget that she is the daughter of someone else. They fed her, clothed her, trained her and made her become the woman you married, and so you can't expect them to just standby while you misuse and abuse her like a slave till she kills herself one day.

Isn't it better for her to go back to her parent's home than for her to commit suicide? She is depressed. Her self esteem is gone. She's tired.

If you want her back, first work on your anger management, stop giving threats, give her sometime to calm down, you should know those she respects and will never say no to.
Go to such people and confess your wrong doings to them and begged them to beg her and her family on your behalf. Go with them to show your genuine remorse.

I wish you best of luck.

Jashub:
Op, forget her and move on . When hunger and shame torture her she'll come crawling back. Secondly , it won't be easy for her to find someone willing to marry her and bear the burden of carrying the financial responsibility of her son .

Lol...Infact , I pity this woman . She's deluded and doesn't know that being a single mother is the worst sentence a woman can give herself in this harsh economy.

While I support you in that the guy should move on. See now a days hunger and and shame does not affect most women, especially if they are educated, skilled or beautiful. In the first place, it is obvious the lady has a family home to return to. Besides you can see where she said she had "endured" with him despite him not having money. She endured, meaning there is a possibility she could have had it better.
Forget it oh. I have lots of instances of ladies that their husbands thought they could not survive without them, yes initially it was difficult, the men moved on flaunting their new relationships etc. Omo few years down the line, those ladies are doing so well, in most cases better than the husbands. You know what? it is the husbands now trying to come back. The kids are all grown. Two, I know that relocated to the US with their kids and are registered nurses. One I know that is a doctor in Ireland.
In Lagos nko, plenty, the women are doing well.
OP made heavy statements to the lady he alluded to. See, before I met my wife, I was doing reasonably well, we got married and things slowed down for sometime, does it mean I will place the blame on her as the op did? I visited a friend those days, his neighbour's wife badged in screaming, that her husband said if he does not "pick" money within the next few days he will kill her, that she was bad luck. Today, the lady is in the US with the kids, the man is in naija under heavy suffering.
In surmarry, I think the man should give her some space, let her focus on having something of her own. He too should focus on his career, as she is not around to slow him down. He should achieve much abi?
But he should keep in touch and be responsible for the child. Who knows in future the marriage might work again.
Nb: we don't even know if the op married her properly as in paid her bride price, Or if it is the normal Lagos marriage of carry belle and move in.

tonididdy:


What’s his mistake ?
Why will his wife leave the house for several days until the point the husband will start begging her to come home ?
He got angry and asked her to sit in her fathers house and she gladly obliged.
E don tey wey the marriage tire her and her parents support her


@OP enjoy your life .
You not come this life for anybody but yourself.
The first few days and week are the toughest alone but you will get your mojo back 4 sure

Did you read his post? If you read it, you would have realized he's an acid tongued man with anger issues as tall as his ego issues. Only people like him will support him after reading it.

Kobojunkie:
1. Is the phone meant to be some sort of leash on her? Phone etiquette is that if you try to reach someone and the person is unavailable, you allow the person to call you back when the person is able to. According to your story, she explained that there was a power outage, and she couldn't charge the phone. So what exactly what she supposed to apologize to you for?

2. Is the name she saves your number on her phone part of your marriage agreement or something? Why does it matter if she saves your number under "Douchbag"?

3. You need to get yourself to a professional anger management class first. This new year, please endeavor to get a book on logical/critical reasoning/thinking so you can grow your mind and as such become able to logically analyze your decisions, and the world around you, including your relationships for yourself. I recommend the book Being Logical. However, any other text that sufficiently teaches you how to critically reason day-to-day issues out will work too. the key is to put into regular(continuous) practice what you learn so you become a more logical being than you are today.

You sound dumb

Nawa ooo. to enter relationship na problem. The man is always to blame for everything. Why would she not pick her call in the first place. If the roles where reversed nko. Unfortunately if you want to love a woman these days. You must be perfect. If not they will use your flaws against you and society will blame you.

I cant believe people will be telling you to just divorce your wife and move on just like that. You love her, unfortunately you have to endure. Power has shifted to her and she will exploit it ruthlessly. I will advice you to keep begging. You have no option. You are in for a long ride. Your mental health is going to go to the toilet. Console your self that all men that love their women must go through this. Women sense when you love them and they can be very ruthless.

breakthrough22:


If she stays too long in her father house,I will never accept her back .

Seriously, I have missed my family but I am not accepting her back if she spend the remaining days in January in his dad house and I will never send a dime to them

Let me shock you
Your in-laws do not have an iota of respect for you
Otherwise better Fada’n’law for don call you severally or send his daughter back to you.
You have a lot of pleasing to do
For me I’d say F dem all

Kobojunkie:
I don't know what that means.

Ooh sorry. Now i confirm you are dumb.

Kobojunkie:
I really don't follow at all.

Confirmed dumb

BRATISLAVA:


Did you read his post? If you read it, you would have realized he's an acid tongued man with anger issues as tall as his ego issues. Only people like him will support him after reading it.

Says a woman who has no idea how hard it is to earn money.
Not just earning money but earning money that will be blown away before the next salary comes in.
The hard work every man puts in just to maintain the house.
Prices of everything have skyrocketed and you expect a man who isn’t dangote to smile always.
This is the time Nigerian men need the support of their wives the most but no Una go complain if your needs are not met in full.
Meanwhile if the tables are turned and you women become richer, you will become pompous and treat your men like rags .

A woman who cannot differentiate between anger and hate in a marriage, deserves to be single