To be honest, you did nothing wrong, since you said that was the name you had being calling her in the past.

I found it funny, when people criticised you,telling you it is disrespectful.

How is it disrespectful pls?

Except a person is redefining or changing the relationship, I see no reason for a change in name from what the person calls u.

Most of my married class mates and friends, I still call them by their names, because we are still maintaining the kind of closeness we had in the past.
If Joy is your name, Joy is what I will call you.....and if u married lets say another of our friend, Eg. mike.

I will say " hello Joy.....how far nah? How are you and mike doing today?"


Anyone who finds anything wrong with that statement, has lost one nut from his brain.

There are a lot of reason why people change the name of what they call others.
Eg childbirth ( from Cynthia to mummy Mary)
Marriage ( from Cynthia to Mrs mike or "your wife" when referring to the husband)

However, those should be based on CHOICE not force.

U shouldn't see it as disrespectful when others choose to call their name instead.
It's still their name.
( even those who did change of name on newspaper, don't find it disrespectful or even go about warning those who call them their former name, talk less of u who didnt do so)


Regardless, let's learn to live in peace with everyone.
The matter too small to cause fight.

And this is what is occupying front page.
A page that should have been used for important things. Sometimes l wonder what is wrong with Nigerians and unimportant respect. Oyibo children call their elders by their first name and everyone is cool, here na nonsense nonsense respect wey dey find .
No wonder we can't pass this present level.

WackyJ1:
Is it a crime to call the Wife of your friend by her first name?

I've known this guy since 2018. He met his wife in 2020.

They've done traditional wedding.

I once followed this guy to law faculty of our school during our Masters program and spent 6 hours typing the project of his then ex.

The same ex ended up blaming him for her misfortune.

I'm the best man for his white wedding tomorrow.

Yet, he's warning me for calling his wife her first name in the same sentence where I also referred to my girlfriend by her own first name.

He claims I was wrong and he has refused to apologise.

I need this one the front page.

Was I wrong?

MORE DETAILS
https://www.nairaland.com/7563621/it-wrong-call-friends-wife/2#120932806

You did something and someone tells you, they don't like it.

Why are you MAKING IT A BIG DEAL??

Some people don't care and wouldn't mind if you called their wife by her first name but this your friend says he doesn't like that.

Why don't you respect his wishes??

How is it that hard??

Let's not create unnecessary friction between ourselves, we have a lot going on this country as it is.


RESPECT!!!

WackyJ1:


I am a Nigerian in Africa, and you can call my wife by her first name if you knew me before I met my wife.

Thanks.

Good for you !! This is your wish and everyone should respect that !

But your friend has his own wish too, respect his!!..

RESPECT!! RESPECT!!!!

WackyJ1:


No the friendship is dead.

He might have returned the money because of his pride. He didn't want someone to keep holding him because of money.

Regardless of his actions, the friendship is over.

If I start listing things about our past friendship that should have stopped him from going that far, then you will understand why the friendship cannot continue.

Don't let your ego cloud your judgment!

A man tells you not to address his wife by her first name, why is that a big deal? Why are you making it a big deal ??

J see no wrong in that.

What happened to treating people how you like to be treated??

If you told your friend something you didn't like and he kept doing it because he used to change your diapers when you were younger or bla bla bla..

Would you be happy??

rickpat:
africans and their foolishness...western world that everybody goes by their first name have they died...if I were you,that friendship ends tonight...calling people their name is not disrespectful,it's their name ain't it?

be careful though,cus one day he will tell you to call the wife "aunty"(you know say Aunty get two meanings for naija)

USE YOUR TONGUE COUNT YOUR TEETH,THE WORST Thing WHEN FIT HAPPEN TO A MAN "NA SEE FINISH"...bounce before him and him wife see you finish bro

goodluck

You are suggesting someone ends friendship because his friend just told him not to call his wife by her first name?

I see no wrong in that.. respect his wishes and move on.

I have never heard any of my dad's childhood friends call my mother her first name.

I have never heard my dad call the wife of his friend by her first name.

I personally don't call my friends wife by their first name and no one calls my wife by her first name not even my parents.

But the bottom line is, the guys friend says he doesn't like him calling his wife by her first name.. RESPECT his wishes, RESPECT his boundaries!!!

rickpat:
african Tribalistic donkey spotted

"this doneky" is better than a human expendable commodity and a courier slave like you who can't even think for himself.

Waste of humanity.

Badgers14:



Don't let your ego cloud your judgment!

A man tells you not to address his wife by her first name, why is that a big deal? Why are you making it a big deal ??

J see no wrong in that.

What happened to treating people how you like to be treated??

If you told your friend something you didn't like and he kept doing it because he used to change your diapers when you were younger or bla bla bla..

Would you be happy??

What about when the same friend tells you that if he could, he would replace you as his best man the night before his wedding after you've spent money travelling to the state.

Why?

Because you rented your own hotel room.


I'll do better, I'm ready to come to your place.
Pick 10 of your trusted elders, let me tell them my story and see if they agree with you.

Reinamaria:


He wasn't right.
The way his friend went about it was wrong too.

I believe in situations like this, at first it may seem as nothing, then it gets to a point, it becomes awkward calling your friend's wife by her name, whether in his presence or absence.
You just naturally start addressing her with a term that sounds more comfortable.

I guess the friend was too impatient to let things happen naturally.

He was right, the friend was wrong. It's his choice whether he wants to call her her name or use a more sociable term as 'my wife'.

WackyJ1:


What about when the same friend tells you that if he could, he would replace you as his best man the night before his wedding after you've spent money travelling to the state.

Why?

Because you rented your own hotel room.


I'll do better, I'm ready to come to your place.
Pick 10 of your trusted elders, let me tell them my story and see if they agree with you.

If my friend told me that he would replace me a night before his wedding, first thing the next morning, I'm travelling back to my base.

Alcoron:
If my friend told me that he would replace me a night before his wedding, first thing the next morning, I'm travelling back to my base.

And that's what I did.

WackyJ1:


What about when the same friend tells you that if he could, he would replace you as his best man the night before his wedding after you've spent money travelling to the state.

Why?

Because you rented your own hotel room.


I'll do better, I'm ready to come to your place.
Pick 10 of your trusted elders, let me tell them my story and see if they agree with you.

Chairman Sir,

Apparently, I don't know the whole story between your friendship, what transpired etc.

My response was solely on the issue of addressing his wife by her first name.

I still maintain that if this was his wish, please respect it.

As for other issues, I can't possibly comment on those since I don't have the full gist.

Stay Blessed Chief!!