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Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? - Family (10) - Nairaland

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As a Christian, Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? / I do not feel loved by my wife, Is this enough reason to quit my marriage? / Hauwa, Adam Nuru Wife Is Not Planning To Divorce Him, Stands With Her Husband (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by Madups(m): 11:35pm On Mar 11, 2023
Aunty if you must follow any advice here, just make sure it is not this one.
LittleBigDick:
Don't serve him food untill he starts paying the bills and don't do anything for him


Don't divorce except you don't love him and found another man to remarry


Treat him badly so that he can refrain from his gambling habits and get a job

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Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by Madups(m): 11:36pm On Mar 11, 2023
LittleBigDick:
Don't serve him food untill he starts paying the bills and don't do anything for him


Don't divorce except you don't love him and found another man to remarry


Treat him badly so that he can refrain from his gambling habits and get a job
Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by bukatyne(f): 11:40pm On Mar 11, 2023
shineeye1:


Wicked Woman! All these many many years that you all have been eating and feeding fat on this man's hard work while keeping what you earn to yourself alone, did you come to nairaland to ask for divorce? Diabolical Deviress!
Now that the hapless man is down for no fault of his and is doing all to retain his sanity and keep calm and collected for a sure next move, you want to bring the heavens down! Demon!!! How many years now have you been feeding the family alone, how many years, you devil incarnate?! I hate you with passion, just as I hate all devils

You sound too emotionally invested in this case.

Are you the husband?

If you are or you know him, dust your feet and look for something productive to earn.

You are a man and one the markers of healthy manhood/ masculine energy is provision, protection and caring for your family/lover

Stand up and become productive!
Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by Isabi4lov: 11:41pm On Mar 11, 2023
Zihno:



The Bible shouldn’t factor in their decision making.

The man can be a full time stay at home dad while the wife becomes the provider. He wouldn’t be a House boy to anyone same way a stay at home mom isn’t a house girl. Some men, myself included, want to manage the kids and the home front while our women provide for the family and it’s perfectly ok.
Just admit that you're a lazy man , I can't feed you and be excepting submission from me , it can't work because you've sold your crown to me .

The man is the head of the family but if he fails as the head , then he should be ready to accept all kinds of rubbish from the wife .

I can't worship or submit to a lazy man .

Even when both partners are working, they're yet to live a comfortable life .

This life is sweet , I no fit do pass my power .
Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by Philgafauto: 11:44pm On Mar 11, 2023
Kobojunkie:
Get to your point instead. undecided

I have been noticing you for years.

Do you have a mental problem? Why are you always so combative? Do you have any behavioral issues?

Nobody should normally argue with you because it seems you are looking for confrontation every time. Is this how you are in real life?
Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by Kobojunkie: 11:57pm On Mar 11, 2023
Onyeziokwu:
Those of us still single are listening very attentively and learning too!
Now the only thing we got to read is about his gambling lifestyle and how he lost his job and left with nothing. No one ever said something on how he has been a supporting husband financially during his days of working and gambling too! I'm just he was into gambling just to be able to make his family comfortable or was his lavishing his dividends on ladies?
He was into gambling away his salary, all so he could make his family comfortable? You sure say the light in your brain dey on so? grin

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Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by donhils: 11:59pm On Mar 11, 2023
But the reverse is always the case with most married men. They're usually the ones taking care of every thing, every bill, while the wives (most of them house wives) sit and chop. But once the woman feeds the man or takes care of the bills for a month, 2 or 3, boom all hell will let loose.

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Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by echodrum(m): 12:06am On Mar 12, 2023
all4zionlover:
Each time I talk to him about getting a job or his next plan, he always tell me. He have a plan. But I know he don't
If someone tells you that he has a plan. The next question should be what is the plan?. If the plans are not convincing enough, discuss that with him. Tell him why it is not convincing enough. Make your own suggestions and tell him why you think your suggestions are better. The only time I will give up on someone like that is when he is no longer willing to talk about it.
Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by Philgafauto: 12:06am On Mar 12, 2023
Kobojunkie:
He was into gambling away his salary, all so he could make his family comfortable? You sure say the light in your brain dey on so? undecided

Are you okay? Why are you always fighting online?

Is this how you’re in real life?
Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by EPIJOE: 12:22am On Mar 12, 2023
ALOT OF ADVICE GIVEN ABOVE ON THE FIRST PAGE.

DIVORCE ISNT THE SOLUTION.

MY TIGHT FRIEND WAS ALSO IN THIS POSITION A MONTH AGO. LOST HIS JOB IN DECEMBER, DESPITE THE FACT THAT HE OPENED A HUGE BUSINESS FOR HIS WIFE, BOUGHT HER A CAR TO CARGO HER PRODUCTS.

AND THE BUSINESS WAS AT LEAST BOOMING.

NO BE THEM SAY, MY FRIEND KEPT A MILLION NAIRA AS FIXED DEPOSIT WITHOUT LETTING HIS WIFE KNOW.

AND FOR THE WHOLE JANUARY HE WAS AT HOME WITH THE WIFE AND TWO KIDS. SLEEPING AS THE OP SAID TOO. AFTER A MONTH THE WIFE BECAME TIRED AND STARTED COMMANDING HIM. AS THE HEAD INSULTING HIM. HE SHOULD GO OUT AND FIND A JOB INSTEAD OF SLEEPING OFTEN.

My friend would call me to narrate all , I would just laugh as said that's women for you.

Second week after the presidential election my friend Got a new Job. Luckily. He narrated all what his eyes saw for the 6 weeks he spent at home without job.

Dear Op, I dont know if what u wrote here were to be true. But with your write up you are feed up and you aren't telling us the truth.

God sees all.

Until we here from your husband I can't advise.

The marriage vows still stands. Kindly note. Except you've seen someone you are having feelings for outside marriage. That's part of reason a lady would want quick divorce.
And kindly note.
This would affect the children spiritually and mentally.

If all u wrote is true, then prayers is all u need

1 Like

Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by creatorsverse(m): 12:43am On Mar 12, 2023
all4zionlover:
He still gambles. I don't need to go all that far to know.

Then you have to talk to him. Firstly my dear talk to him about stopping it, if he wants to stop it, but always finds himself doing it, then you have 50% of conquering that spirit... Only then can I give you my contact... And advice you on what to do.. I'm doing it for free
Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by seanwilliam(m): 12:50am On Mar 12, 2023
That’s life. The moment the benefit stops coming, women mostly dust their shoes and they will justify this with anything
Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by Zihno: 12:57am On Mar 12, 2023
Isabi4lov:
Just admit that you're a lazy man , I can't feed you and be excepting submission from me , it can't work because you've sold your crown to me .

The man is the head of the family but if he fails as the head , then he should be ready to accept all kinds of rubbish from the wife .

I can't worship or submit to a lazy man .

Even when both partners are working, they're yet to live a comfortable life .

This life is sweet , I no fit do pass my power .

How am I lazy if I want to take care of my kids and family?

You don’t have to submit to me. I don’t need your submission. We should be partners
Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by Kobojunkie: 1:07am On Mar 12, 2023
Zihno:
How am I lazy if I want to take care of my kids and family? You don’t have to submit to me. I don’t need your submission. We should be partners
OK undecided
But marriage is an agreement between the man and the woman. If the man wants to be a stay-at-home husband but the woman does not agree with the arrangement, how can it work? undecided
Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by dmostcheerful(f): 1:18am On Mar 12, 2023
udede:
Men endure the joblessness of their wives but woman will feed a man for some few short months and complain will full every where.
You don't have any reason to divorce him, the offence of his maybe lazyness and that is not a crime.

Wake him out of it with much love. Make sure you don't nag.
A man's primary duty as a husband is to provide for his family.
How will you feel if your wife leave your house unkept for a whole month?
No sweeping, cooking or washing?
Just wake up in the morning, bath, leave the kids with you, on AC and sleep?
Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by HazzanTazzan(m): 1:47am On Mar 12, 2023
all4zionlover:
If I should remembered his treatment when he had a job earning salaries, all through my pregnancy, paying bills and all that then, I deserve to kill him. He has never been a caring husband and father to his children.

He has no past good record that can make me think backward and support a jobless husband.

Hmmnnnnn
Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by kingsceemark(m): 1:49am On Mar 12, 2023
all4zionlover:
What would you advice in a situation where a husband loses his job due to gambling and decided not to make any effort in search of another job or business or any legal means of making even little money.

He just wakes up in the morning, have his bath, put on the AC and go back to sleep. Only expecting any little thing the wife can cook to eat? He wouldn't pay any bills, provide anything but very humble helping out with house cleaning and washing.

Knowing that the situation is not funny on the wife and two children.

The wife must struggle to make food available no matter how little for the children, because she can't watch the children go hungry.
In a situation like this, when men goes out looking for means of making food available for their children and family, he is comfortable not having anything to offer all the time.
Is this the character of a father and husband that loves?

Is this not enough reason to divorce him?

That lazy ass man must be a Yoruba man
Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by Nobody: 2:24am On Mar 12, 2023
all4zionlover:
What would you advice in a situation where a husband loses his job due to gambling and decided not to make any effort in search of another job or business or any legal means of making even little money.

He just wakes up in the morning, have his bath, put on the AC and go back to sleep. Only expecting any little thing the wife can cook to eat? He wouldn't pay any bills, provide anything but very humble helping out with house cleaning and washing.

Knowing that the situation is not funny on the wife and two children.

The wife must struggle to make food available no matter how little for the children, because she can't watch the children go hungry.
In a situation like this, when men goes out looking for means of making food available for their children and family, he is comfortable not having anything to offer all the time.
Is this the character of a father and husband that loves?

Is this not enough reason to divorce him?
He is depressed
The first step is getting him to talk
Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by Harrykn: 2:40am On Mar 12, 2023
Richy4:
grin cheesy grin grin grin
Which kind vow Una swear?

That day when them ask you...Do U promise to take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, forsaken all other,..
U opened your well brushed.. Colgate minty mouth.. Lipstick infested lips and 15 megawatts of smile and say I do.. u think say Na play u go play for there?🤭🙊

Make U stayOoo, U supposed to honour the "poorer" aspects of the vow😝

Na that AC part of the story got me laughing...Abi he no dey on AC before when he get job? How come u find it disgusting now?. make you just remove the AC and sell first before he first you remember am😂

You dey make skit?
E don tey I laugh for NL grin
Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by Zihno: 2:59am On Mar 12, 2023
Kobojunkie:
OK undecided
But marriage is an agreement between the man and the woman. If the man wants to be a stay-at-home husband but the woman does not agree with the arrangement, how can it work? undecided

Compromise.

The person who earns more should be the one to keep their job while the unemployed/underemployed partner looks after the home front. They can always work out something in the future.
Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by Zihno: 3:01am On Mar 12, 2023
dmostcheerful:

A man's primary duty as a husband is to provide for his family.
How will you feel if your wife leave your house unkept for a whole month?
No sweeping, cooking or washing?
Just wake up in the morning, bath, leave the kids with you, on AC and sleep?

Personally, I would clean my own living area. I don’t expect my partner to clean after me.
Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by Kobojunkie: 3:02am On Mar 12, 2023
Zihno:
■ Compromise.
■ The person who earns more should be the one to keep their job while the unemployed/underemployed partner looks after the home front. They can always work out something in the future.
A compromise is an agreement reached, it it not?
Kobojunkie:
OK undecided
But marriage is an agreement between the man and the woman. If the man wants to be a stay-at-home husband but the woman does not agree with the arrangement, how can it work? undecided
Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by Killermamba: 3:02am On Mar 12, 2023
all4zionlover:
Each time I talk to him about getting a job or his next plan, he always tell me. He have a plan. But I know he don't
Ask him to share the plan with you, abi he is thinking of opening a bet9ja shop?
Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by Zihno: 3:03am On Mar 12, 2023
Kobojunkie:
A compromise is an agreement reached, it it not?

Exactly.

Why would the woman not want to provide for her family especially considering she earns more? Why?
Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by Kobojunkie: 3:04am On Mar 12, 2023
Zihno:
Exactly. Why would the woman not want to provide for her family especially considering she earns more? Why?
Probably because she wouldn't have anything to gain by shouldering all of that responsibility all by herself, which makes sense considering marriage is supposed to be to the benefit of both parties involved. And the way to get the best out of it — as opposed to when you were single and had to bear it all alone — is when you share the responsibilities with your partner undecided
Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by Zihno: 3:19am On Mar 12, 2023
Kobojunkie:
Probably because she wouldn't have anything to gain by shouldering all of that responsibility all by herself, which makes sense considering marriage is supposed to be to the benefit of both parties involved. And the way to get the best out of it — as opposed to when you were single and had to bear it all alone — is when you share the responsibilities with your partner undecided

How’s she not gaining anything when the husband is taking care of their home and the kids?

What are you suppose to gain in a marriage if not companionship and security??

I don’t understand your point at all.

I have seen the reverse play out all the time. Why can a woman be a stay at home wife/mom and the idea of a man being a stay at home husband/dad is hard for you to comprehend and you think the wife has to benefit something individually for providing for herself and her family.
Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by Kobojunkie: 3:23am On Mar 12, 2023
Zihno:
■ How’s she not gaining anything when the husband is taking care of their home and the kids?
■ What are you suppose to gain in a marriage if not companionship and security?? I don’t understand your point at all.
1. Typically when men take on the financial responsibility in the home, against commonsense by the way, they do so in order that they may sit as gods over their women and children in marriage. Many males have such fragile egos that have such needs, but most females don't care for such meaningless ideas, so they gain nothing from carrying all that weight all by themselves. undecided

2. Well, for one sharing the responsibility and burden of marriage, rather than having to shoulder it all alone for one is a big deal. After all, that is why it is said that two heads are better than one. undecided

1 Like

Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by Smartguyboy(m): 3:24am On Mar 12, 2023
all4zionlover:
What would you advice in a situation where a husband loses his job due to gambling and decided not to make any effort in search of another job or business or any legal means of making even little money.

He just wakes up in the morning, have his bath, put on the AC and go back to sleep. Only expecting any little thing the wife can cook to eat? He wouldn't pay any bills, provide anything but very humble helping out with house cleaning and washing..
When men lose their job they become houseboys OMG
Baba God I beg oh
Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by Emmanuel909090: 3:25am On Mar 12, 2023
All this children getting married, and your pastor never told you it's for better or worst, in sickness and in health, in rich and in poor?

Are you working? So because you have successfully feed him for a while it seems you are doing a wrong thing Abi? Go ahead and divorce him.

Rubbish
Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by Zihno: 3:25am On Mar 12, 2023
As a feminist, I believe that women are equal partners in a relationship.

If your husband isn’t earning currently and has decided to take it easy, he shouldn’t be pressurized. Instead, you should do the best you can.

I do believe the partner without a job should discuss it with the employed partner while helping at home.

A woman can be the SOLE PROVIDER in a Household and some men, like me, want to be a DEPENDENT FULL TIME STAY AT HOME HUSBAND.
Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by Zihno: 3:28am On Mar 12, 2023
Kobojunkie:
1. Typically when men take on the financial responsibility in the home, against commonsense by the way, they do so in order that they may sit as gods over their women and children in marriage. Many males have such fragile egos that have such needs, but most females don't care for such meaningless ideas, so they gain nothing from carrying all that weight all by themselves. undecided

2. Well, for one sharing the responsibility and burden of marriage, rather than having to shoulder it all alone for one is a big deal. After all, that is why it is said that two heads are better than one. undecided

OPs husband doesn’t want to be treated like a god. He has shown this by his actions. A man with a god like complex won’t be doing house chores of their own accord.

How do you not understand that a stay at home dad/husband IS sharing responsibilities? One partner provides financially, the other takes care of the home and/or kids. They’ve shared the responsibility already .
Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by Zihno: 3:30am On Mar 12, 2023
Only Nigerians think a full time stay at home dad/husband is doing nothing.

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