I have not seen my child going to months now, all efforts made proved abortive, I don't want to be a deadbeat dad, my aunt intervene to no avail, mother in law was just cursing. I made some mistakes going to a year now I have apologize church has apologize on my behave still no respites
I hold myself responsible for the wrong doing, I did not commit adultery nor beat or cheat. But I lied on certain issues which later blown Open and this is amendable. Please good people here should I go to court please.
Reading that Ghanian guy looking for his dad today breaks my heart I don't want the same to happen to me please should I go ahead and sue them

phidipe:
I have not seen my child going to months now, all efforts made proved abortive, I don't want to be a deadbeat dad, my aunt intervene to no avail, mother in law was just cursing. I made some mistakes going to a year now I have apologize church has apologize on my behave still no respites
I hold myself responsible for the wrong doing, I did not commit adultery nor beat or cheat. But I lied on certain issues which later blown Open and this is amendable. Please good people here should I go to court please. Reading that Ghanian guy looking for his dad today breaks my heart I don't want the same to happen to me please should I go ahead and sue them

what did you do??

burp18:
what did you do??

Good place to start.

Non disclosure of previous relationship that leads to having a baby though not married, because three times after then that I tired to enter a relationship went bad.

phidipe:
Non disclosure of previous relationship that leads to having a baby though not married, because three times after then that I tired to enter a relationship went bad.

How old is the baby now?

Six months old

phidipe:
Six months old

i may be wrong. But this seems to be case of you not being involved in her life during the pregnancy stage.

phidipe:
Six months old

Which one is 6 months old, the undisclosed one or the one you're considering suing for?

budaatum:


Which one is 6 months old, the undisclosed one or the one you're considering suing for?

lol

The Undisclosed one is 8 years old the new baby is just 6 months old

8years old? Omo. Even I wouldn't forgive you

It wasn't deliberate she is in Lagos I'm in Ondo State working mother took upon herself to be threatening me with this, with that I got tired, I even tired to visit it was not possible they blocked me in all means through which I could access them what can I do

i may be wrong. But this seems to be case of you not being involved in her life during the pregnancy stage.[/quote]

(8years old? Omo. Even I wouldn't forgive you

Haaaaaaaaa that is too much

burp18:
8years old? Omo. Even I wouldn't forgive you

I, at least, would never ever trust him after such deceit, so I guess he'll have to settle for another baby he might not be seeing for a while.

Op, sue me please.

Please I don't understand your posting explain better please

budaatum:


I, at least, would never ever trust him after such deceit, so I guess he'll have to settle for another baby he might not be seeing for a while.

Op, sue me please.

phidipe:
Please I don't understand your posting explain better please

You deceived me to get what you want and now that I've found out I am really really hurt.

What don't you understand? That you committed fraud and deceit? That I'm hurt?

But what do you think I can do, you can't throw the baby away with bathing water,

budaatum:


You deceived me to get what you want and now that I've found out I am really really hurt.

What don't you understand? That you committed fraud and deceit? That I'm hurt?

phidipe:
But what do you think I can do, you can't throw the baby away with bathing water,

In your case, I am throwing away water I consider dirty while intending to keep my baby. I wouldn't want my baby bathing in the already dirty water.

What you might want to do is wait for my heart to soften so you may see if I forgive you a little, or you can choose to fight me and make me more angry at your deceit.

Do know though that if you choose the former you may have to wait a very long time, like when my baby is about to start university, but if you choose the later it might become forever.

budaatum:


In your case, I am throwing away water I consider dirty while intending to keep my baby. I wouldn't want my baby bathing in the already dirty water.

What you might want to do is wait for my heart to soften so you may see if I forgive you a little, or you can choose to fight me and make me more angry at your deceit.

Do know though that if you choose the former you may have to wait a very long time, like when my baby is about to start university, but if you choose the later it might become forever.

There's nothing like 'my baby' as often used by you women, if the union is legal.
You can only emphasize on your rights to have full custody of the baby at this tender age.
The baby is not yours personally just for being the mother, it belongs to both couple, and both should have equal access.

It is illegal for either couple to claim full ownership without any recourse to the court.

Op should take it up legally, and add kidnapping and child trafficking to the charges.

ChybuzzDD:


There's nothing like 'my baby' as often used by you women, if the union is legal.

I guess we shall let the court decide if the union you obtained through deceit is legal or not.

budaatum:


I guess we shall let the court decide if the union you obtained through deceit is legal or not.

Deceit can lead to the end of the union itself, but doesnk't change the parental status of baby(-ies), irrespective of who has the full custody.

The marriage will end definitely, the baby will remain with the mother for now, but the father will still be involved in his/her upbringing.

ChybuzzDD:

The marriage will end definitely, the baby will remain with the mother for now, but the father will still be involved in his/her upbringing.

At my convenience. And I've suggested in 18 years time.

I don't want dirty water dirtying my baby, thank you very much. And it seems the mother of his 8 year old doesn't want to neither, or I would have known about it before he got me pregnant.

Op, I have one more alternative for you. Be patient. Because any rash decision will make me fight you even more.

And if for one moment you think it's my parent's you'd be fighting, then you don't know the woman you deceived.

You better calm down and let time heal this wound.

She's dealing with your deceit the best way she deems fit, that's her own way of dealing with it. Just give it time they will come around.

You too did bad, really bad, didn't tell her you had an 8 year old child?


If you go to court, you have just compounded the issue and your marriage may never recover from it.

If you are intent on saving your marriage, then patience will be a virtue.

But if the marriage is gone and it’s about your child now, no human being irrespective of marital status, emotional feelings, can deny you access to your child. At this tender age, truth is custody belongs to the mother, but visitation and involvement in the child’s life is your inalienable rights. How the mother or your in-laws feel is inconsequential in this. When marriage fails, the next important thing are the wellbeing of the kids, and it’s not decided on the emotions of any partner. This is classic child abduction; yes you heard that right, a parent can abduct a child. She can be arrested for it.

What about the other child. Are you seeing him/her frequently.

Some women can't stand you talking about seeing any other child apart from theirs.

You no even imagine what you would have done if reverse was the case.

The headline for brutal and all manner of people go come this thread to unleash violence

phidipe:
Six months old

You have been whining here since this year, please go to court already... You have every right to your child, if they don't want the marriage anymore, then let them go but fight for your kid else, what you fear might come upon your child

Op, invite welfare to settle the matter. Shikena. They shouldn't block access to your child, even though you fücked up big time. Forget that marriage, e don scatter, so the least you can do is fight to be granted access to the child

Continue to maintain the tempo; they will answer you soon. Since you ain't taking the child away after going AWOL, they should at least let you see the child.

budaatum:
Op, I have one more alternative for you. Be patient. Because any rash decision will make me fight you even more.

And if for one moment you think it's my parent's you'd be fighting, then you don't know the woman you deceived.

Are you the wife in question?

budaatum:


Good place to start.

curiosity could destroy. OP is after identifying with the child.