postmann:


Everything you said was on point except returning tithes. That's plain dumb.

what is dumb is when people refuse to understand that there is time for everything.
There was time for the old covenant when tithing was practiced by the Jews and God wasn't against it. But the moment Christ established the new covenant tithing seized to exist just like sacrificing of animals seized to exist.

If one is giving to the church no wahalla.
But when a pastor is quoting old testament saying that you should tithe then he is playing on your intelligence, you don't know

Mummytoo:
Good morning nlanders

Happy Sunday to u all

I'm eager to know if its wrong to confront a pastor, because all my life I hate going pastors for anything, something happened on Monday, I didn't know who else to talk to ....so I went to the alter to pray and met with my pastor, I explained what happened between my husband and I and he settled the matter sweetly . I was so happy to have peace and joy back in my marriage till yesterday (Saturday) pastor called me out of that plenty congregation and told d church everything including what my husband has been hiding for years, he even added more things that didn't even happen to the story😂. I was just quiet and respectful since I wasn't expecting him to behave like that.

He prayed for me and I just left, he started getting angry that I can't even praise for my healing me or dancing round, I was just shocked at everything happening I left to the backyard and later went in again.

Immediately I got home I told my husband how he's image has been tarnished in church for what he didn't do, we had a misunderstanding and pastor said he flogged me (that didn't happen)

Is it wrong to confront him....
Coz I will act like I'm going to testify and correct that wrong impression he said about my husband

Just one time experience with pastor is killing me like this

If you do that, then afterwards don't go to that church again. That your pastor is something else.

thankgod460:


I will advice you not to confront him, Pastors are also human like you so don't expect perfection or exceptional from them.

In life we learnt our lesson in different ways. Your marital affairs should be kept away from the third party and if you wanted to, find a marriage counsellor. Also leaving the church isn't necessary since you are not going there to serve or meet a pastor but God. Just forget and move on

Your advise is as toxic as ever. Can you imagine o!

This is very wrong in all cases. Confront him and when you do, do it in the front of the congregation and don't engage only him in one corner. What he said falsely said publicly has to be addressed publicly. And I notice almost all of them do these either directly or indirectly. Until someone of you start seeing them as normal human being and stop seeing them as one supernatural being, it won't stop.

Dear sister, politely meet him and explain your displeasure to him as a human being that he is, accord him the respect the office deserved. But i won't be surprised if he turns the table at you for behaving more matured than he is.

Being a pastor over the flock of God's sheep doesn't make you less human. Maturity is a prerequisite for handling issues. He clearly lacks confidentiality and that alone is a wrong trait for a leader.

Let your husband and yourself meet him privately and let him retract his untrue statements and let him do an open repentance and ask for your forgiveness.
Let it not repeat itself in the church next time.
Hope the church knows they can vote who will be their pastor.
Shalom.

Sister leave that church fast because the story go continue and people will keep adding salt and pepper but before u leave go and confront the game pastor abeg. Nonsense

thankgod460:


I will advice you not to confront him, Pastors are also human like you so don't expect perfection or exceptional from them.

In life we learnt our lesson in different ways. Your marital affairs should be kept away from the third party and if you wanted to, find a marriage counsellor. Also leaving the church isn't necessary since you are not going there to serve or meet a pastor but God. Just forget and move on

Yes they are also human but allegedly called by God so are held to a higher standard in their behaviour.
I feel it is very hurtful to tell ask to keep their marital affairs from a third person you don’t know all the details of what she was passing through that dragged her there.Would it have been better to run to in-laws who will escalate the matter?.then adding forget and move on.

Forgive yes but forget how when damage has been done.

Malnipulation and pathological lying. The white man used religion to enslave us for over 200 years then our fellow men continued enslaving them self & others. Masses would rather die than think.

Fear it and do it any way. He lied! Simple! he should be confronted whatever the consequences.

How can it be, no one is above correction.

Can you change your church, or avoid this pastor. if you can, do so, do not confront him yet, until he has done it to others.

That way, there is order, also pray for this pastor and don't tell him your private matters again, since he is not trustworthy.

If He has done something like this to others, you can go as a group to plead with him to correct his behavior and explain how he lied and how it is not right in the sight of God, who blesses everyone. If he does not correct his ways, you can change church at this time or do not make the mistake of disclosing private matters to him

Mummytoo:
Good morning nlanders

Happy Sunday to u all

I'm eager to know if its wrong to confront a pastor, because all my life I hate going pastors for anything, something happened on Monday, I didn't know who else to talk to ....so I went to the alter to pray and met with my pastor, I explained what happened between my husband and I and he settled the matter sweetly . I was so happy to have peace and joy back in my marriage till yesterday (Saturday) pastor called me out of that plenty congregation and told d church everything including what my husband has been hiding for years, he even added more things that didn't even happen to the story😂. I was just quiet and respectful since I wasn't expecting him to behave like that.

He prayed for me and I just left, he started getting angry that I can't even praise for my healing me or dancing round, I was just shocked at everything happening I left to the backyard and later went in again.

Immediately I got home I told my husband how he's image has been tarnished in church for what he didn't do, we had a misunderstanding and pastor said he flogged me (that didn't happen)

Is it wrong to confront him....
Coz I will act like I'm going to testify and correct that wrong impression he said about my husband

Just one time experience with pastor is killing me like this

There's no need to confront him

Else you will set yourself up among the church members

Cos definitely most will support him

You should just take your leave from the church

Mummytoo:


Thank u dear, today as I came out for testimony I declared how loving my husband is, and that I'll marry him again even in my next life.
I can't even look my pastor in d face again, God will help us

that was nice and I am sure he will feel dejected after all...

Mummytoo:

Y d insult, my marriage is fine

Not an insult madam. Just telling you the fact i deduced from your responses without sugarcoating it.
Cheers

Mummytoo:


Even my mother was advised by church elders when she was passing through maltreatment from my father, that was cherubim and seraphim, the church was a place to run to for comfort, advice and many more, nobody is a graduate in d institute of marriage, have u been the one managing my marriage, or u didn't read where I wrote I went to pray at the alter before he called me and started counseling me, even old people seek counsel

See the response you gave here to this wonderful advice?
You are already doing 200km/hr on the wrong path and it would take a great deal of wisdom to save your marriage.

Tutu82:


Yes they are also human but allegedly called by God so are held to a higher standard in their behaviour.
I feel it is very hurtful to tell ask to keep their marital affairs from a third person you don’t know all the details of what she was passing through that dragged her there.Would it have been better to run to in-laws who will escalate the matter?.then adding forget and move on.

Forgive yes but forget how when damage has been done.

If one doesn't have wise counsellors in their family, they should seek the help of paid marriage counseling.

A church is meant for you to go worship your creator, not to worship a pastor who possibly committed adultery the previous night.

Pastors are humans like us, flesh and blood. There is nothing special about them and you already have greater spiritual values/qualities than they do except for the conman qualities.

Worship God the way you should and he/she will speak to you in the same way as your pastor.

Mummytoo:
Good morning nlanders

Happy Sunday to u all

I'm eager to know if its wrong to confront a pastor, because all my life I hate going pastors for anything, something happened on Monday, I didn't know who else to talk to ....so I went to the alter to pray and met with my pastor, I explained what happened between my husband and I and he settled the matter sweetly . I was so happy to have peace and joy back in my marriage till yesterday (Saturday) pastor called me out of that plenty congregation and told d church everything including what my husband has been hiding for years, he even added more things that didn't even happen to the story😂. I was just quiet and respectful since I wasn't expecting him to behave like that.

He prayed for me and I just left, he started getting angry that I can't even praise for my healing me or dancing round, I was just shocked at everything happening I left to the backyard and later went in again.

Immediately I got home I told my husband how he's image has been tarnished in church for what he didn't do, we had a misunderstanding and pastor said he flogged me (that didn't happen)

Is it wrong to confront him....
Coz I will act like I'm going to testify and correct that wrong impression he said about my husband

Just one time experience with pastor is killing me like this

Firstly before you share your experience with anybody you need to study the person and know if he /she can keep your secret, not every Pastor was matured to handle case and keep secret
You don't need to confront him but you have learned your less in painful way

Nigerian women. You guys are the worst when it comes to being sheep for religion.


You're very stupid for taking private matters that happened in your marraige to your pastor. Is your pastor a marraige counsellor?

I bet you even respect that charlatan more than your husband.
The pastor asks you to jump, you ask him how high.

Too many cooks spoil the broth. Never involve an unqualified 3rd party in the problems you have in your marraige.

How dare you. Dolt.

Cadillac15:


If one doesn't have wise counsellors in their family, they should seek the help of paid marriage counseling.

A church is meant for you to go worship your creator, not to worship a pastor who possibly committed adultery the previous night.

Pastors are humans like us, flesh and blood. There is nothing special about them and you already have greater spiritual values/qualities than they do except for the conman qualities.

Worship God the way you should and he/she will speak to you in the same way as your pastor.

I am not sure what you are on about and you must not have read my first post to understand what led to this one.

By third person i mean an independent person outside family wise counsel or not.
The “specialness” comes from the anointing which some have alleged and you do not.I am all for organised religion as it does offer comfort and peace of mind which is what motivational speakers offer as well.If this God you are talking about exists in the first place is what am on before he “speaks”.

That's why I hardly go to any pastor to expose myself unnecessarily. Some pastor have confidentiality issues.

OlamideOwoeye:
I'm sorry to hear about the situation you're going through with your pastor. It's understandable to feel hurt and betrayed when someone you trust, like a pastor, shares personal information about you and your spouse with others without your permission.

In regards to whether or not it's wrong to confront your pastor, it really depends on your personal beliefs and values. Some people might feel it's important to stand up for themselves and correct the wrong impression that was made about their husband, while others might feel it's best to let it go and move on.

If you do decide to confront your pastor, it's important to do so in a respectful and calm manner. You could start by expressing your disappointment and hurt about what happened, and then ask for an explanation as to why he felt it was necessary to share such personal information with the congregation.

It's also important to remember that pastors are human and make mistakes, just like anyone else. While what happened was not okay, it's possible that your pastor may have had good intentions and simply made a poor judgment call.

Ultimately, it's up to you to decide whether or not you want to confront your pastor. However, if you do decide to talk to him, try to approach the situation with an open mind and a willingness to listen and understand his perspective as well.

This is the type of people that are impregnated by fake Pastors in the name of deliverance

What has your husband been hiding for years?

She still had the guts to tell the husband so the man go vex more. She should have come up with a reason to leave the church....

candyguyofficia:
I didn't want to comment earlier on but you the wife you are the one that has brought disrespect and great dishonour to your family. You should be glad if your husband finds it in his heart to forgive you for having a poor sense of judgement and for been overly naive.

Now that you have testify and corrected that wrong impression of the pastor before that congregation (which is the right thing to do ALTHOUGH it depends on what you said and how you do it because your type might still praise the pastor again in the testimony and downplay that your pastor was wrong to discuss your private matter without consent and for lying also).

I would advise you leave that church ASAP. Don't meet the pastor again either alone or with your husband, disassociate your household from that church. Do not allow the pastor pray for you or anoint your head with any oil (somethings you may not understand and from how I see you that you can't ever understand so i wont bother going deeper) .

Find a bible believing church and join, for where you currently worship is a den of wolves. I won't be surprised if the church is a one man church.

Leave that church and find another (not one man church) that truly preach the word.

A word is enough for the wise.
Mummytoo

Sincerely you too naive for a wife. I pray God give your husband the wisdom to handle his home and you because one needs more wisdom when interacting with you. May God help your husband

Mummytoo:
Good morning nlanders

Happy Sunday to u all

I'm eager to know if its wrong to confront a pastor, because all my life I hate going pastors for anything, something happened on Monday, I didn't know who else to talk to ....so I went to the alter to pray and met with my pastor, I explained what happened between my husband and I and he settled the matter sweetly . I was so happy to have peace and joy back in my marriage till yesterday (Saturday) pastor called me out of that plenty congregation and told d church everything including what my husband has been hiding for years, he even added more things that didn't even happen to the story😂. I was just quiet and respectful since I wasn't expecting him to behave like that.

He prayed for me and I just left, he started getting angry that I can't even praise for my healing me or dancing round, I was just shocked at everything happening I left to the backyard and later went in again.

Immediately I got home I told my husband how he's image has been tarnished in church for what he didn't do, we had a misunderstanding and pastor said he flogged me (that didn't happen)

Is it wrong to confront him....
Coz I will act like I'm going to testify and correct that wrong impression he said about my husband

Just one time experience with pastor is killing me like this

Yes,.act like you want to give testimony and correct the misconceptions.

Mummytoo:
Good morning nlanders

Happy Sunday to u all

I'm eager to know if its wrong to confront a pastor, because all my life I hate going pastors for anything, something happened on Monday, I didn't know who else to talk to ....so I went to the alter to pray and met with my pastor, I explained what happened between my husband and I and he settled the matter sweetly . I was so happy to have peace and joy back in my marriage till yesterday (Saturday) pastor called me out of that plenty congregation and told d church everything including what my husband has been hiding for years, he even added more things that didn't even happen to the story😂. I was just quiet and respectful since I wasn't expecting him to behave like that.

He prayed for me and I just left, he started getting angry that I can't even praise for my healing me or dancing round, I was just shocked at everything happening I left to the backyard and later went in again.

Immediately I got home I told my husband how he's image has been tarnished in church for what he didn't do, we had a misunderstanding and pastor said he flogged me (that didn't happen)

Is it wrong to confront him....
Coz I will act like I'm going to testify and correct that wrong impression he said about my husband

Just one time experience with pastor is killing me like this

Pastors are home wreckage... I remember the day I invited my pastor for little argument, when I got to the junction all the story was naratted freely

Mummytoo:


Even my mother was advised by church elders when she was passing through maltreatment from my father, that was cherubim and seraphim, the church was a place to run to for comfort, advice and many more, nobody is a graduate in d institute of marriage, have u been the one managing my marriage, or u didn't read where I wrote I went to pray at the alter before he called me and started counseling me, even old people seek counsel

From your quoted response, it seem you love to be heard than to hear perhaps why you poured it all out when the "pastor" called you from the alter and started counselling you.

Sorry to burst your bubble, the reality in this modern world is that it's not every building that is called church that is a place to run to for comfort, advice or to pray, most of these building is a place to prey.

If you like don't change your church. A word is enough for the wise

Gloriagee:
She still had the guts to tell the husband so the man go vex more. She should have come up with a reason to leave the church....

I'm not really against the woman telling the husband although telling him will definitely lead to a major confrontation except the man do not have action. My major concern is that she is soo gullible and naive, she has a wife is the reason why most married men do not live long.

Now the husband is the poster husband for everything a bad husband is and her testimony if not don well or done right will make the husband look like a beast and that she was forced by her husband to testify in church to discredit the "pastor"

paxonel:
hmm!

Tithe is paid to God and spent by God?

And you expect me to answer you No naw. I have work to do. If Malachi 3 vs 8-10 can't help you, then whoever attempts to reply you on this subject is only wasting precious time.

Have a good day

Don't confront the pastor, it will just add salt to injury.

Na you Bleep up go dey tell pastor your family matters, have your pastor ever come to tell him members him family problem
abi You think say he no get wahala wey he dey face too? No dey worship god of men, you no go hear, see am now

paxonel:
maddam, simply leave the church he is not a pastor. But before you go, request that he should return all the tithe and offering you have been paying him since you started coming to the church. If he refuse to give you back your money don't worry, just let it be and go, God will judge.

That would be the foolish thing to do.

Mummytoo it may not sound nice to anyone who sees this however this is my honest opinion. Follow these steps
1.Air your view in a matured manner. If the pastor doesn't listen you report him to his superior.
2. If you aren't satisfied then report him to God through prayers.
2. After these steps and nothing changes, kindly leave that church. Wisdom is profitable to direct

LoveJesus87:
leaving the church may not be evil in the sight of the Lord as there are much other genuine churches u can fellowship. But asking for tithe back is acute ignorance. Since tithe is paid to God and not man or church, you are directly asking God to give u ur money back. No. Its not an advice

Are you trolling??

What does God spend the money on??

What does God need with mere fiat money when he created everything??

May God help you zombies!

Mummytoo:


I don't go close to him so I wouldn't know, its last night I started suspecting, I have learnt my lessons

Good that you have learnt your lessons. Just like the saying " we learn from our mistakes."