First time I was detained in an open cell i managed to smuggle in my phone with me, after sitting idle for hours i brought out my phone and everyone was shocked lols.

Cellmates came to me to ask for favours to make important calls and in return deh remembered me when they buy what to eat, lols.

I was treated specially by the chairman of the cell and at night we smoked cigarette lol can't say cell is a good place to be but to me the one day experience was amazing lols

Blupen969:
First time i was detained in an open cell i managed to smuggle in my phone with me, after sitting idle for hours i brought out my phone and everyone was shocked lols, cellmates came to me to ask for favours to make important calls and in return deh remembered me when they buy what to eat, lols i was treated specially by the chairman of the cell and at night we smoked cigarretes lol can't say cell is a good place to be but to me the one day experience was amazing lols

The leader of a cell is called Presido. Just carry your "cell show" enter, you'll be welcomed.

If you want to enjoy cell (lol), just pray make them detain you and your friends inside the same cell. Una fit dethrone the Presido sef

Zonefree:

The leader of a cell is called Presido. Just carry your "cell show" enter, you'll be welcomed.

If you want to enjoy cell (lol), just pray make them detain you and your friends inside the same cell. Una fit dethrone the Presido sef

Zonefree i swear cell funny, una go just deh new person go enter with different story of how them take catch am lols

Blupen969:
Zonefree i swear cell funny, una go just deh new person go enter with different story of how them take catch am lols

cell funny ba?
Dy play!!

Nemesis0147:
cell funny ba?
Dy play!!

If na only one night you spend e funny but if you don stay like 3days there you go know say e no good at all Nemesis0147

My own na the day wey thief go my Oga warehouse break all the keys come carry goods inside there comot. Na him yeye lawyer tell the dpo make them lock me up. I no stay reach 8hours sha. Guy see bedbugs and mosquito claiming ownership.

Sacrosanct12:
My own na the day wey thief go my Oga warehouse break all the keys come carry goods inside there comot. Na him yeye lawyer tell the dpo make them lock me up. I no stay reach 8hours sha. Guy see bedbugs and mosquito claiming ownership.

Sacrosanct12 hehehehe that lawyer no get joy ooh
Me self na my oga himself detain me

Blupen969:
Sacrosanct12 hehehehe that lawyer no get joy ooh
Me self na my oga himself detain me

I swear, person see say even the effects of getting the keys off dey the door he insisted that I know about it. Na for evening as my boss close him come pick me out. But mehn I was traumatized, if I sleep I go just dey dream say dey break that place again. Goods of above 3m was carted away that day. I just happy say at last I don serve finish. Na trust sha.

Sacrosanct12:
I swear, person see say even the effects of getting the keys off dey the door he insisted that I know about it. Na for evening as my boss close him come pick me out. But mehn I was traumatized, if I sleep I go just dey dream say dey break that place again. Goods of above 3m was carted away that day. I just happy say at last I don serve finish. Na trust sha.

Igbo man na trust true true

I did not know that one needs to enter there with money which they called "cell-show".

As the officer threw me inside the cell, You need to see how these guys rushed me with the question "where your cell-show?", I asked the presido what is "cell-show", these guys
pounced on me saying I was challenging their No 1 .

They beat me to a point and one guy asked me na wetin I bring for them? I said nothing. The other guy slapped me and said; "you dey cràze? so you dey come visit us with empty handed, here resemble your father house?" that was when I understood what they were talking about.

Anyways, I told them I had no money with me there but will go out to the counter the next day and sign it out cash. That was how the beatings stopped and allowed me to partake with what others brought.

Afterwards, I was made to sing one of their popular songs titled "Oje nga, Anya ga Ahù gî îwa, you don enter, to commot no easy"
very funny song.

It was not a plausible experience though, but whenever I remember it, I can't help but Lmao.

At a point you'll feel you're in a psychiatrist home or been detained with mad people.

They'll wake up early in the morning and start shouting in the name of prayer. The same pattern of prayers everyday . After the prayers, back to their normal quarreling and fighting.

PS; If you're going to jail (which is not my prayers for... ) pray not to be detained together with The mad ones (inmates).

I stay for hq benue state command the thing change my narattive i swear down e choke like i no do anything sars carry me the go the shoot for up during covid-19 lockdown like i stand for compound police come look me finish enter compound come catch me bases on innocent man na i begin drag i actually regreted doing that when 2 of them hand over their rifles to their colleagues and came at me with bare knuckles i really mad their night till one aboki sars come spray me something for eyes oga i no see again na first time person slap me wey i fall

I no know say e get slap wey the flash like fire to GOD eeeeh i say this people enter me like pikin i just use my hand cover head come see hw them fling me for hilux although if i had maintained my cool i for no collect but the first one i wound am badly this kind oga na my house be this i no fit follow u i jam am well well o the thing make this people jam me no be small even put me under bench inside hilux i wasnt aware were going to head quater i thought it was a small division na when we reach hq compound fresh beating start i was just begging them till them push me inside cell as per street if u fit survive first 30 minute inside cell nothing go do u again i spent 5days in sars detention with enough merryment and see hw people in the cells sing praises u go know say GOD is everywhere

Headbasher96 me self na for hq dem go drop me but nobody beat me cus you no go fit touch me nah, if you see my face self you go know say na me pastors deh give their own tithe bros i no get joy at all

Themainboy22 i no pay any "cell show" money and nobody even ask me because i carry wound for face enter that cell, and you know say people deh fear person way wound for face

Blupen969:
Themainboy22 i no pay any "cell show" money and nobody even ask me because i carry wound for face enter that cell, and you know say people deh fear person way wound for face

Lwkmd, so true.

Themainboy22:
Lwkmd, so true.

headbasher96:
I stay for hq benue state command the thing change my narattive i swear down e choke like i no do anything sars carry me the go the shoot for up during covid-19 lockdown like i stand for compound police come look me finish enter compound come catch me bases on innocent man na i begin drag i actually regreted doing that when 2 of them hand over their rifles to their colleagues and came at me with bare knuckles i really mad their night till one aboki sars come spray me something for eyes oga i no see again na first time person slap me wey i fall

I no know say e get slap wey the flash like fire to GOD eeeeh i say this people enter me like pikin i just use my hand cover head come see hw them fling me for hilux although if i had maintained my cool i for no collect but the first one i wound am badly this kind oga na my house be this i no fit follow u i jam am well well o the thing make this people jam me no be small even put me under bench inside hilux i wasnt aware were going to head quater i thought it was a small division na when we reach hq compound fresh beating start i was just begging them till them push me inside cell as per street if u fit survive first 30 minute inside cell nothing go do u again i spent 5days in sars detention with enough merryment and see hw people in the cells sing praises u go know say GOD is everywhere

Lol

headbasher96:
I stay for hq benue state command the thing change my narattive i swear down e choke like i no do anything sars carry me the go the shoot for up during covid-19 lockdown like i stand for compound police come look me finish enter compound come catch me bases on innocent man na i begin drag i actually regreted doing that when 2 of them hand over their rifles to their colleagues and came at me with bare knuckles i really mad their night till one aboki sars come spray me something for eyes oga i no see again na first time person slap me wey i fall

I no know say e get slap wey the flash like fire to GOD eeeeh i say this people enter me like pikin i just use my hand cover head come see hw them fling me for hilux although if i had maintained my cool i for no collect but the first one i wound am badly this kind oga na my house be this i no fit follow u i jam am well well o the thing make this people jam me no be small even put me under bench inside hilux i wasnt aware were going to head quater i thought it was a small division na when we reach hq compound fresh beating start i was just begging them till them push me inside cell as per street if u fit survive first 30 minute inside cell nothing go do u again i spent 5days in sars detention with enough merryment and see hw people in the cells sing praises u go know say GOD is everywhere

If you must fight or drag with Nigerian police officers, never follow them to the station after the fight.

The rule is, Fight with them and run, or Don't fight and go with them.

These are unwritten rules in the street.

Don't fight

May cell or prison never be our portion.

Just imagine sleeping in the same place you and others wee and poop.

Na so everyone mouth and body go dey smell with rashes and Eczema all over your skin.

Nothing like freedom ooo

Congrats to you...

One of my exes called Police for me, say I used her finished, refusing to marry her, I dey beat her bla bla bla...

As I reach station, one police women named Uchechi come ask me whether I don go cell before , I said no, she said "okay, carry money follow body o, you too fresh, I no want make them harm you for inside"

I come carry 2k, deposited the remaining money and my phones with her on the counter.

As I enter cell, na im dem rush me, I come tell them to kpomkpi, dem come calm down, I carry the 2k give the No 1, them come rush me shake me say I be confirm nigga. Them come give me small bread and pure water to take hold body first.

Much later them come give me small OT way I go take enter the IPO and my ex. I no spend reach 2 days, I come out.

Ok

I book space finish I no know wetin to write cos I never visit cell before n I don’t pray I have d experience

Kk

Okay

Blupen969:
Themainboy22 i no pay any "cell show" money and nobody even ask me because i carry wound for face enter that cell, and you know say people deh fear person way wound for face

The wound for face mean say you don see shege already...and you go dajuu

ok

Lol

This thread go funny and real at the same time