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Na here dem go see my love...

Lmao

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BrighterThanDay:
As a child from a broken home, I saw marriage as my happy ending of finally having a home filled with love and mutual understanding. After the death of my mom, growing up with my dad and stepmom was hell. I was treated as a stranger in my own home, so I thought starting my own family will be a lot better.

After I completed my education and got a good job. I had a lot of suitors willing to settle down with me. Most of them were rich and accomplished men, but there was no spark, I felt they weren't genuinely in love with me, and since I was never a materialistic person, I turned them down. I get easily content with what I have and I spend prudently. Then I met my husband. It happened that I was his crush back then in school, in fact, he even approached me as a student then, but I turned him down because I knew where I was coming from and I never wanted to gamble with my studies, it was my only hope to leave my father's house and fend for myself.

Fast forward to when I met my husband after school. He didn't even have a good job. But I could tell I meant a great deal to him, we'll speak for hours on the phone. I fell hopelessly in love with him, I could already picture a happy home with him and our kids. Then he proposed, and I accepted. I met his family, they were nice on the first visit.

After the introduction ceremony with my family, I started noticing certain things. I was taking pictures with his phone when I saw a message from his mom telling him I'm a stranger and he shouldn't allow me to come between them. I was surprised and wondered where all this was coming from, I asked him and he reassured me that it was nothing.

Then his father told me that hope I know that a son should love and care for his parents more than his kids. I kept pondering this statement. Then the worse of it all was his married sister, she hasn't even met me, but she rained insults and abuses on me on his phone and why he needs to make money first and allow his family to enjoy his money, before getting married. She said I was old, and just forcing him to marry me. I was just 26 then, but my education was very fast.

I had to speak to her dad about this and he cautioned her. I tried speaking to her myself but she rained insults again on me. I called off the wedding at a point but my then-fiance begged and involved my brother and so we went on with the wedding preparations. The wedding went well and his entire family stayed with us for a week before leaving.

My husband got a good job, I was working, we were fine and money wasn't our problem. A few months later, my father-in-law died. I sent messages and called hubby's siblings to comfort them. I couldn't travel with him immediately due to the nature of my job. I kept calling to check on him and inquire about the traditional rites I might need to be a part of. Hubby said his father was a pastor so he won't need to do anything, while we were yet speaking, his sister who hates me snatched the phone from him and said I have to do this and that or I should pack my things and leave the house and then she shouted at me.

I was so pissed and acted in a way that wasn't right considering that we were all mourning. I sent a message to her, telling her to be nice considering that we are all mourning but if she chooses to continue insulting and humiliating me for no reason, I won't take it. She forwarded the message to the entire family, including uncles, aunts, and grandchildren. On the day of the burial, I was treated as an outcast by the entire family, she told them not to give my birth family food, even though they came bearing gifts and comforting everyone. Hubby had to step in and ask the caterers to serve them.

She kept fighting and shouting at my hubby throughout the burial and tried denying him of things he was supposed to do as the first son and child. I was humiliated and she kept castigating my name and insulting me to hearings of everyone. I wasn't even allowed to eat. I was quiet all through, when family members were asked to sit behind the corpse, she asked me to excuse them.

For fear of my life after the burial, I had to go lodge in a hotel outside. The next morning she and her brother kept shouting and complaining that why did hubby allow me to lodge and that I should have been with their mom. They continued the humiliation, I couldn't take it anymore or hold back my tears so I left.

Hubby later told me that she held a meeting in my absence with the entire family and told them I'm a bad wife and needs to leave her brother. This was when hubby stood up for me and said I wasn't going anywhere.

Our marriage was never the same. Even when we had our daughter, no one called, hubby was ostracized from his own family and he blamed me sometimes. I couldn't concentrate at work, and my job is performance-based. I was scared that I'll be fired, so I resigned.

Hubby's income wasn't enough to sustain us, so we started facing financial difficulties. He had to even go meet the same sister to borrow money, even though I discouraged it. She always mocked him for it and I had to pay off the loan at a point.


When she saw that we are now broke, she stopped fighting with him and they are on talking terms now, of course, she still wants nothing to do with me. I know that they are family by blood and nothing is too hard to forgive, but each time she calls and they are happily discussing, Ican't help but feel angry for all she has caused us. I'm sometimes tempted to leave this marriage because this is not what I envisaged at all.

My brother is also married and I have never felt the need to interfere in his marriage or fight his wife.

I don't know how long I can continue in this union, even my innocent beautiful daughter is hated by them.

listen! It's a matter of time your in laws win your husband over.you see he has started blaming you that you caused it..I think his sister is bossy and being the first child she must have been looking after her younger ones from birth and that gives her the sense of responsibility over them which also makes any lady that want to marry them her surbondinate and can control their wives at Will.

The best thing is to tell your husband to call meeting and beg them especially the sister,,kneel and beg her and be close to her .

Lord have Mercy

BrighterThanDay:


Thank you. On God, all I wrote is what transpired between I and my in laws, in fact I haven't even gone into details on the humiliation I faced. I also mentioned my fault in sending her a warning message when she insulted me and asked me to pack out of her brothers during the burial of my father in law. I shouldn't have done that considering we were all mourning, that I accept but I was pushed to the wall. I am working on a new job already. Thank you once more for the advice

your spouse need to show more effort in standing up for you. I see no reason he should blame you for the behaviour of his siblings. I do not have the full details of the "warning message" you had sent to the sister, however i can infer it was a reaction. Siblings who cant congratulate their brother for a new born are not genuine, i can understand if they don't call or visit to congratulate you as a person, but i will never understand such attitude to their brother.

It's a demonic spirit of wanting to control and manipulate others that has taken over your hubby's sister, that is why she shows an improved attitude when you lost your job and your spouse had to depend on her to meet family needs. I wont be surprised if people like that lady embarks on spiritual means to ensure you are not doing well as a family. The extent people go when they want to keep people in their control box is typically shocking. You dont live in the same compound from your narration and the extent of involvement in your husband life should be minimal( occasional welfare checks via call and rare visits). Getting too involved is not how to show love to a married sibling, it is a toxic control tactics.

Your husband need to realise his immediate family is yourself and daughter. When push comes to shove, the sister will prioritise her kid(s) to him. Show him my message.

Most marriages will survive other issues if the financial health of the home is good. Get a job fast. Stop regretting current or past relationships, work on your current relationship with your spouse and you will be fine.

BrighterThanDay:
As a child from a broken home, I saw marriage as my happy ending of finally having a home filled with love and mutual understanding. After the death of my mom, growing up with my dad and stepmom was hell. I was treated as a stranger in my own home, so I thought starting my own family will be a lot better.

After I completed my education and got a good job. I had a lot of suitors willing to settle down with me. Most of them were rich and accomplished men, but there was no spark, I felt they weren't genuinely in love with me, and since I was never a materialistic person, I turned them down. I get easily content with what I have and I spend prudently. Then I met my husband. It happened that I was his crush back then in school, in fact, he even approached me as a student then, but I turned him down because I knew where I was coming from and I never wanted to gamble with my studies, it was my only hope to leave my father's house and fend for myself.

Fast forward to when I met my husband after school. He didn't even have a good job. But I could tell I meant a great deal to him, we'll speak for hours on the phone. I fell hopelessly in love with him, I could already picture a happy home with him and our kids. Then he proposed, and I accepted. I met his family, they were nice on the first visit.

After the introduction ceremony with my family, I started noticing certain things. I was taking pictures with his phone when I saw a message from his mom telling him I'm a stranger and he shouldn't allow me to come between them. I was surprised and wondered where all this was coming from, I asked him and he reassured me that it was nothing.

Then his father told me that hope I know that a son should love and care for his parents more than his kids. I kept pondering this statement. Then the worse of it all was his married sister, she hasn't even met me, but she rained insults and abuses on me on his phone and why he needs to make money first and allow his family to enjoy his money, before getting married. She said I was old, and just forcing him to marry me. I was just 26 then, but my education was very fast.

I had to speak to her dad about this and he cautioned her. I tried speaking to her myself but she rained insults again on me. I called off the wedding at a point but my then-fiance begged and involved my brother and so we went on with the wedding preparations. The wedding went well and his entire family stayed with us for a week before leaving.

My husband got a good job, I was working, we were fine and money wasn't our problem. A few months later, my father-in-law died. I sent messages and called hubby's siblings to comfort them. I couldn't travel with him immediately due to the nature of my job. I kept calling to check on him and inquire about the traditional rites I might need to be a part of. Hubby said his father was a pastor so he won't need to do anything, while we were yet speaking, his sister who hates me snatched the phone from him and said I have to do this and that or I should pack my things and leave the house and then she shouted at me.

I was so pissed and acted in a way that wasn't right considering that we were all mourning. I sent a message to her, telling her to be nice considering that we are all mourning but if she chooses to continue insulting and humiliating me for no reason, I won't take it. She forwarded the message to the entire family, including uncles, aunts, and grandchildren. On the day of the burial, I was treated as an outcast by the entire family, she told them not to give my birth family food, even though they came bearing gifts and comforting everyone. Hubby had to step in and ask the caterers to serve them.

She kept fighting and shouting at my hubby throughout the burial and tried denying him of things he was supposed to do as the first son and child. I was humiliated and she kept castigating my name and insulting me to hearings of everyone. I wasn't even allowed to eat. I was quiet all through, when family members were asked to sit behind the corpse, she asked me to excuse them.

For fear of my life after the burial, I had to go lodge in a hotel outside. The next morning she and her brother kept shouting and complaining that why did hubby allow me to lodge and that I should have been with their mom. They continued the humiliation, I couldn't take it anymore or hold back my tears so I left.

Hubby later told me that she held a meeting in my absence with the entire family and told them I'm a bad wife and needs to leave her brother. This was when hubby stood up for me and said I wasn't going anywhere.

Our marriage was never the same. Even when we had our daughter, no one called, hubby was ostracized from his own family and he blamed me sometimes. I couldn't concentrate at work, and my job is performance-based. I was scared that I'll be fired, so I resigned.

Hubby's income wasn't enough to sustain us, so we started facing financial difficulties. He had to even go meet the same sister to borrow money, even though I discouraged it. She always mocked him for it and I had to pay off the loan at a point.


When she saw that we are now broke, she stopped fighting with him and they are on talking terms now, of course, she still wants nothing to do with me. I know that they are family by blood and nothing is too hard to forgive, but each time she calls and they are happily discussing, Ican't help but feel angry for all she has caused us. I'm sometimes tempted to leave this marriage because this is not what I envisaged at all.

My brother is also married and I have never felt the need to interfere in his marriage or fight his wife.

I don't know how long I can continue in this union, even my innocent beautiful daughter is hated by them.

Lovely movie, what's the title?
If this is real then I'm wondering how some persons get themselves into this kind of situation. It's simple, why are you looking for validation from them?
Focus on your family and build your home strong and see if they will not respect and fear you.

Your right.
A man can’t just watch his soul mate insulted for no reasons, without him taking an action to put a stop to it.
I feel they don’t respect their brother too .

JeffreyJunior:
You're right but when faced with two evils, it's safe to choose the lesser one.

The lady in question here is married to a family full of manipulations and if care is not taken, she may lose her sanity.

Her husband is neither here nor there which is why she is currently going through emotional trauma.

When family members treat their son right and treat his wife wrong, there is monkey hand in the soup. I don't trust her husband, that's my point.

BrighterThanDay:
As a child from a broken home, I saw marriage as my happy ending of finally having a home filled with love and mutual understanding. After the death of my mom, growing up with my dad and stepmom was hell. I was treated as a stranger in my own home, so I thought starting my own family will be a lot better.

After I completed my education and got a good job. I had a lot of suitors willing to settle down with me. Most of them were rich and accomplished men, but there was no spark, I felt they weren't genuinely in love with me, and since I was never a materialistic person, I turned them down. I get easily content with what I have and I spend prudently. Then I met my husband. It happened that I was his crush back then in school, in fact, he even approached me as a student then, but I turned him down because I knew where I was coming from and I never wanted to gamble with my studies, it was my only hope to leave my father's house and fend for myself.

Fast forward to when I met my husband after school. He didn't even have a good job. But I could tell I meant a great deal to him, we'll speak for hours on the phone. I fell hopelessly in love with him, I could already picture a happy home with him and our kids. Then he proposed, and I accepted. I met his family, they were nice on the first visit.

After the introduction ceremony with my family, I started noticing certain things. I was taking pictures with his phone when I saw a message from his mom telling him I'm a stranger and he shouldn't allow me to come between them. I was surprised and wondered where all this was coming from, I asked him and he reassured me that it was nothing.

Then his father told me that hope I know that a son should love and care for his parents more than his kids. I kept pondering this statement. Then the worse of it all was his married sister, she hasn't even met me, but she rained insults and abuses on me on his phone and why he needs to make money first and allow his family to enjoy his money, before getting married. She said I was old, and just forcing him to marry me. I was just 26 then, but my education was very fast.

I had to speak to her dad about this and he cautioned her. I tried speaking to her myself but she rained insults again on me. I called off the wedding at a point but my then-fiance begged and involved my brother and so we went on with the wedding preparations. The wedding went well and his entire family stayed with us for a week before leaving.

My husband got a good job, I was working, we were fine and money wasn't our problem. A few months later, my father-in-law died. I sent messages and called hubby's siblings to comfort them. I couldn't travel with him immediately due to the nature of my job. I kept calling to check on him and inquire about the traditional rites I might need to be a part of. Hubby said his father was a pastor so he won't need to do anything, while we were yet speaking, his sister who hates me snatched the phone from him and said I have to do this and that or I should pack my things and leave the house and then she shouted at me.

I was so pissed and acted in a way that wasn't right considering that we were all mourning. I sent a message to her, telling her to be nice considering that we are all mourning but if she chooses to continue insulting and humiliating me for no reason, I won't take it. She forwarded the message to the entire family, including uncles, aunts, and grandchildren. On the day of the burial, I was treated as an outcast by the entire family, she told them not to give my birth family food, even though they came bearing gifts and comforting everyone. Hubby had to step in and ask the caterers to serve them.

She kept fighting and shouting at my hubby throughout the burial and tried denying him of things he was supposed to do as the first son and child. I was humiliated and she kept castigating my name and insulting me to hearings of everyone. I wasn't even allowed to eat. I was quiet all through, when family members were asked to sit behind the corpse, she asked me to excuse them.

For fear of my life after the burial, I had to go lodge in a hotel outside. The next morning she and her brother kept shouting and complaining that why did hubby allow me to lodge and that I should have been with their mom. They continued the humiliation, I couldn't take it anymore or hold back my tears so I left.

Hubby later told me that she held a meeting in my absence with the entire family and told them I'm a bad wife and needs to leave her brother. This was when hubby stood up for me and said I wasn't going anywhere.

Our marriage was never the same. Even when we had our daughter, no one called, hubby was ostracized from his own family and he blamed me sometimes. I couldn't concentrate at work, and my job is performance-based. I was scared that I'll be fired, so I resigned.

Hubby's income wasn't enough to sustain us, so we started facing financial difficulties. He had to even go meet the same sister to borrow money, even though I discouraged it. She always mocked him for it and I had to pay off the loan at a point.


When she saw that we are now broke, she stopped fighting with him and they are on talking terms now, of course, she still wants nothing to do with me. I know that they are family by blood and nothing is too hard to forgive, but each time she calls and they are happily discussing, Ican't help but feel angry for all she has caused us. I'm sometimes tempted to leave this marriage because this is not what I envisaged at all.

My brother is also married and I have never felt the need to interfere in his marriage or fight his wife.

I don't know how long I can continue in this union, even my innocent beautiful daughter is hated by them.

Madam brace yourself up., if i were your brother, or father right now.

My advice to you will be to get a good job, and leave that marriage. One thing i hate most is family interfering in people's marital life, the utterances from your husband's family are so shocking and very repulsive to the ear.

They don't want a third party which is you., they only want their son to serve them and enjoy his wealth.

Wo, aunty you never see husband O!, if care is not taking, they will find a wife for their son who will dance to their tune and be their puppet. If every member of the family can sleep and face the same direction., madam you never see inlaw.

As for your husband, he's a p*ssy and a sisi with empty balls. He should have stood up for you and stand his grounds more.., how dare his sister...with all the insult.?
God knows i can shut out my family for such actions, wetin Omolomo do una wey una go just dey hate and treat her bad...I so much hate cheating.

If i were your brother just like i said., na me go con carry you comot that house... Get a good job just like i said., before you go open leg for the second child...that's if you can cope with the radarada family., if not run for your life before they drain you mentally...Ire O!✌🏼

Resigning from your job is another big mistake; apart from ignoring suitable suitors and aware of this family hatred from beginning.

Solution, look for job when u get another job, ignore them as they re not existing. Mind your immediate family.
No family is perfect.

frozen70:


The rubbish you wrote is cheap on talk

Pray to marry into such family then put your words into action

Iv faced worser temptations and challenges. Far worse.
I endure the pains and losses that comes alongs with them.
But my innermost satisfaction that i don't succumb to emotional blackmails& manipulations gives me all the joy in the world.
As long as my conscience is clear on the foundation of any issue, I don't care on all the war-toppings on it.

If you bring a gun to shoot me, without an avenue for me to defend myself peacefully/diplomatiwould blow bombs on you for as long as I can.
Be you my inlaws or outlaws.

BrighterThanDay:
As a child from a broken home, I saw marriage as my happy ending of finally having a home filled with love and mutual understanding. After the death of my mom, growing up with my dad and stepmom was hell. I was treated as a stranger in my own home, so I thought starting my own family will be a lot better.

After I completed my education and got a good job. I had a lot of suitors willing to settle down with me. Most of them were rich and accomplished men, but there was no spark, I felt they weren't genuinely in love with me, and since I was never a materialistic person, I turned them down. I get easily content with what I have and I spend prudently. Then I met my husband. It happened that I was his crush back then in school, in fact, he even approached me as a student then, but I turned him down because I knew where I was coming from and I never wanted to gamble with my studies, it was my only hope to leave my father's house and fend for myself.

Fast forward to when I met my husband after school. He didn't even have a good job. But I could tell I meant a great deal to him, we'll speak for hours on the phone. I fell hopelessly in love with him, I could already picture a happy home with him and our kids. Then he proposed, and I accepted. I met his family, they were nice on the first visit.

After the introduction ceremony with my family, I started noticing certain things. I was taking pictures with his phone when I saw a message from his mom telling him I'm a stranger and he shouldn't allow me to come between them. I was surprised and wondered where all this was coming from, I asked him and he reassured me that it was nothing.

Then his father told me that hope I know that a son should love and care for his parents more than his kids. I kept pondering this statement. Then the worse of it all was his married sister, she hasn't even met me, but she rained insults and abuses on me on his phone and why he needs to make money first and allow his family to enjoy his money, before getting married. She said I was old, and just forcing him to marry me. I was just 26 then, but my education was very fast.

I had to speak to her dad about this and he cautioned her. I tried speaking to her myself but she rained insults again on me. I called off the wedding at a point but my then-fiance begged and involved my brother and so we went on with the wedding preparations. The wedding went well and his entire family stayed with us for a week before leaving.

My husband got a good job, I was working, we were fine and money wasn't our problem. A few months later, my father-in-law died. I sent messages and called hubby's siblings to comfort them. I couldn't travel with him immediately due to the nature of my job. I kept calling to check on him and inquire about the traditional rites I might need to be a part of. Hubby said his father was a pastor so he won't need to do anything, while we were yet speaking, his sister who hates me snatched the phone from him and said I have to do this and that or I should pack my things and leave the house and then she shouted at me.

I was so pissed and acted in a way that wasn't right considering that we were all mourning. I sent a message to her, telling her to be nice considering that we are all mourning but if she chooses to continue insulting and humiliating me for no reason, I won't take it. She forwarded the message to the entire family, including uncles, aunts, and grandchildren. On the day of the burial, I was treated as an outcast by the entire family, she told them not to give my birth family food, even though they came bearing gifts and comforting everyone. Hubby had to step in and ask the caterers to serve them.

She kept fighting and shouting at my hubby throughout the burial and tried denying him of things he was supposed to do as the first son and child. I was humiliated and she kept castigating my name and insulting me to hearings of everyone. I wasn't even allowed to eat. I was quiet all through, when family members were asked to sit behind the corpse, she asked me to excuse them.

For fear of my life after the burial, I had to go lodge in a hotel outside. The next morning she and her brother kept shouting and complaining that why did hubby allow me to lodge and that I should have been with their mom. They continued the humiliation, I couldn't take it anymore or hold back my tears so I left.

Hubby later told me that she held a meeting in my absence with the entire family and told them I'm a bad wife and needs to leave her brother. This was when hubby stood up for me and said I wasn't going anywhere.

Our marriage was never the same. Even when we had our daughter, no one called, hubby was ostracized from his own family and he blamed me sometimes. I couldn't concentrate at work, and my job is performance-based. I was scared that I'll be fired, so I resigned.

Hubby's income wasn't enough to sustain us, so we started facing financial difficulties. He had to even go meet the same sister to borrow money, even though I discouraged it. She always mocked him for it and I had to pay off the loan at a point.


When she saw that we are now broke, she stopped fighting with him and they are on talking terms now, of course, she still wants nothing to do with me. I know that they are family by blood and nothing is too hard to forgive, but each time she calls and they are happily discussing, Ican't help but feel angry for all she has caused us. I'm sometimes tempted to leave this marriage because this is not what I envisaged at all.

My brother is also married and I have never felt the need to interfere in his marriage or fight his wife.

I don't know how long I can continue in this union, even my innocent beautiful daughter is hated by them.

I feel your pain my dear, but is really glaring that the whole family is against you, and they don't want you to enjoy anything from their son hence the unnecessary attacks. It shows how selfish and immature the family is.


But my only advice for you is quietly pack your things and leave, and I don't know if you have a child, but if you do discuss it with your husband and find your way b4 they kill you there.

Too much wisdom. Unfortunately, the deed is already done, the man needs to stand up and take action now.

CaveAdullam:
1. Number one rule before getting married: check if your in-laws are also "in love" with you. If they are, you'll experience peace from them in that union, if not, trouble galore - don't get married.

2. No matter the degree of love you and your partner share, if it doesn't extend to both families, either of you will be used to fight a proxy war.

Many intending couples do think they are the exceptions, hence, they go ahead with the marriage rites even though the main family members are not at peace with the union.

3. Love conquers. But you see family, they are the foundation of every person you see out there. They share blood. They share a bond. They share secrets. If they perceive you aren't worthy to become one of them, just leave. There are many other men/women you can have a good and sweet relationship with, and that have lovely families.

4. Your husband isn't bold enough to put a period in many absurd sentences in the family. As the eldest and as a married man he ought to be your protector. Although, a contributing reason is that he isn't wealthy. Only poor husbands or men are being tossed like a table tennis ball in every family.

5. If your in-laws are not threatening your life, you must encourage boldness in your husband. Open yourself before him and let him see your vulnerabilities and how frightened you're in the marriage. He must defend and protect his family. Even if he's not a millionaire, there are masculine virtues he must imbue himself. He must call the shot in his family and let them accord you your respect.

6. You must also build your confidence. Be brave and bold. Don't allow any family member to treat you as a doormat. Stand firm. You have a home to keep and a beautiful daughter to protect. Be strong for yourself and your family. Know when to apply peace. Know how to deliver violence. This will make obstinate and troublesome people stay aloof from you.

7. Nigeria's economy/world economy is as useless and hopeless as ever before, however, both of you should hold each other tight and walk through the storm together. Look for possible trades to do.
It doesn't get easy as you move further. It gets tougher, but more strength, experience, wisdom, and liberation.

8. If your marriage becomes life-threatening and unable for you to catch little molecules of oxygen after you must have tried all notable things to aid the marriage, please, divorce.
A divorce is never a good option. But at least it will save your life rather than allowing that life to grow weaker and eventually die in the end with no peace and joy.

Thanks.

ChybuzzDD:


You seem to be giving excuses for this evidently weak husband.

How's it possible for your family members to send your wife out, and ''you will just be confused'' Nawaoo

If the guy had stood up like a man from the beginning when every family member was testing his/her 'superpower' status on his wife, things wouldn't have reached this ugly stage.

The guy didn't protect his wife/nuclear family enough and i must say that.

Exactly

This story is not complete. Something is definitely missing. The writer of the story is projecting an idea, "victim". Her own side of the story isn't sufficient to cast a judgment.

Marriage has not failed you. It was you who has failed to see beyond the family and man you marry. You cannot force anybody to like you. Before you marry into that family, you are pressing on with your life, why can't you do or live your life without the acceptance or likeness of your inlaws?

BrighterThanDay:
As a child from a broken home, I saw marriage as my happy ending of finally having a home filled with love and mutual understanding. After the death of my mom, growing up with my dad and stepmom was hell. I was treated as a stranger in my own home, so I thought starting my own family will be a lot better.

After I completed my education and got a good job. I had a lot of suitors willing to settle down with me. Most of them were rich and accomplished men, but there was no spark, I felt they weren't genuinely in love with me, and since I was never a materialistic person, I turned them down. I get easily content with what I have and I spend prudently. Then I met my husband. It happened that I was his crush back then in school, in fact, he even approached me as a student then, but I turned him down because I knew where I was coming from and I never wanted to gamble with my studies, it was my only hope to leave my father's house and fend for myself.

Fast forward to when I met my husband after school. He didn't even have a good job. But I could tell I meant a great deal to him, we'll speak for hours on the phone. I fell hopelessly in love with him, I could already picture a happy home with him and our kids. Then he proposed, and I accepted. I met his family, they were nice on the first visit.

After the introduction ceremony with my family, I started noticing certain things. I was taking pictures with his phone when I saw a message from his mom telling him I'm a stranger and he shouldn't allow me to come between them. I was surprised and wondered where all this was coming from, I asked him and he reassured me that it was nothing.

Then his father told me that hope I know that a son should love and care for his parents more than his kids. I kept pondering this statement. Then the worse of it all was his married sister, she hasn't even met me, but she rained insults and abuses on me on his phone and why he needs to make money first and allow his family to enjoy his money, before getting married. She said I was old, and just forcing him to marry me. I was just 26 then, but my education was very fast.

I had to speak to her dad about this and he cautioned her. I tried speaking to her myself but she rained insults again on me. I called off the wedding at a point but my then-fiance begged and involved my brother and so we went on with the wedding preparations. The wedding went well and his entire family stayed with us for a week before leaving.

My husband got a good job, I was working, we were fine and money wasn't our problem. A few months later, my father-in-law died. I sent messages and called hubby's siblings to comfort them. I couldn't travel with him immediately due to the nature of my job. I kept calling to check on him and inquire about the traditional rites I might need to be a part of. Hubby said his father was a pastor so he won't need to do anything, while we were yet speaking, his sister who hates me snatched the phone from him and said I have to do this and that or I should pack my things and leave the house and then she shouted at me.

I was so pissed and acted in a way that wasn't right considering that we were all mourning. I sent a message to her, telling her to be nice considering that we are all mourning but if she chooses to continue insulting and humiliating me for no reason, I won't take it. She forwarded the message to the entire family, including uncles, aunts, and grandchildren. On the day of the burial, I was treated as an outcast by the entire family, she told them not to give my birth family food, even though they came bearing gifts and comforting everyone. Hubby had to step in and ask the caterers to serve them.

She kept fighting and shouting at my hubby throughout the burial and tried denying him of things he was supposed to do as the first son and child. I was humiliated and she kept castigating my name and insulting me to hearings of everyone. I wasn't even allowed to eat. I was quiet all through, when family members were asked to sit behind the corpse, she asked me to excuse them.

For fear of my life after the burial, I had to go lodge in a hotel outside. The next morning she and her brother kept shouting and complaining that why did hubby allow me to lodge and that I should have been with their mom. They continued the humiliation, I couldn't take it anymore or hold back my tears so I left.

Hubby later told me that she held a meeting in my absence with the entire family and told them I'm a bad wife and needs to leave her brother. This was when hubby stood up for me and said I wasn't going anywhere.

Our marriage was never the same. Even when we had our daughter, no one called, hubby was ostracized from his own family and he blamed me sometimes. I couldn't concentrate at work, and my job is performance-based. I was scared that I'll be fired, so I resigned.

Hubby's income wasn't enough to sustain us, so we started facing financial difficulties. He had to even go meet the same sister to borrow money, even though I discouraged it. She always mocked him for it and I had to pay off the loan at a point.


When she saw that we are now broke, she stopped fighting with him and they are on talking terms now, of course, she still wants nothing to do with me. I know that they are family by blood and nothing is too hard to forgive, but each time she calls and they are happily discussing, Ican't help but feel angry for all she has caused us. I'm sometimes tempted to leave this marriage because this is not what I envisaged at all.

My brother is also married and I have never felt the need to interfere in his marriage or fight his wife.

I don't know how long I can continue in this union, even my innocent beautiful daughter is hated by them.

BrighterThanDay:
As a child from a broken home, I saw marriage as my happy ending of finally having a home filled with love and mutual understanding. After the death of my mom, growing up with my dad and stepmom was hell. I was treated as a stranger in my own home, so I thought starting my own family will be a lot better.

After I completed my education and got a good job. I had a lot of suitors willing to settle down with me. Most of them were rich and accomplished men, but there was no spark, I felt they weren't genuinely in love with me, and since I was never a materialistic person, I turned them down. I get easily content with what I have and I spend prudently. Then I met my husband. It happened that I was his crush back then in school, in fact, he even approached me as a student then, but I turned him down because I knew where I was coming from and I never wanted to gamble with my studies, it was my only hope to leave my father's house and fend for myself.

Fast forward to when I met my husband after school. He didn't even have a good job. But I could tell I meant a great deal to him, we'll speak for hours on the phone. I fell hopelessly in love with him, I could already picture a happy home with him and our kids. Then he proposed, and I accepted. I met his family, they were nice on the first visit.

After the introduction ceremony with my family, I started noticing certain things. I was taking pictures with his phone when I saw a message from his mom telling him I'm a stranger and he shouldn't allow me to come between them. I was surprised and wondered where all this was coming from, I asked him and he reassured me that it was nothing.

Then his father told me that hope I know that a son should love and care for his parents more than his kids. I kept pondering this statement. Then the worse of it all was his married sister, she hasn't even met me, but she rained insults and abuses on me on his phone and why he needs to make money first and allow his family to enjoy his money, before getting married. She said I was old, and just forcing him to marry me. I was just 26 then, but my education was very fast.

I had to speak to her dad about this and he cautioned her. I tried speaking to her myself but she rained insults again on me. I called off the wedding at a point but my then-fiance begged and involved my brother and so we went on with the wedding preparations. The wedding went well and his entire family stayed with us for a week before leaving.

My husband got a good job, I was working, we were fine and money wasn't our problem. A few months later, my father-in-law died. I sent messages and called hubby's siblings to comfort them. I couldn't travel with him immediately due to the nature of my job. I kept calling to check on him and inquire about the traditional rites I might need to be a part of. Hubby said his father was a pastor so he won't need to do anything, while we were yet speaking, his sister who hates me snatched the phone from him and said I have to do this and that or I should pack my things and leave the house and then she shouted at me.

I was so pissed and acted in a way that wasn't right considering that we were all mourning. I sent a message to her, telling her to be nice considering that we are all mourning but if she chooses to continue insulting and humiliating me for no reason, I won't take it. She forwarded the message to the entire family, including uncles, aunts, and grandchildren. On the day of the burial, I was treated as an outcast by the entire family, she told them not to give my birth family food, even though they came bearing gifts and comforting everyone. Hubby had to step in and ask the caterers to serve them.

She kept fighting and shouting at my hubby throughout the burial and tried denying him of things he was supposed to do as the first son and child. I was humiliated and she kept castigating my name and insulting me to hearings of everyone. I wasn't even allowed to eat. I was quiet all through, when family members were asked to sit behind the corpse, she asked me to excuse them.

For fear of my life after the burial, I had to go lodge in a hotel outside. The next morning she and her brother kept shouting and complaining that why did hubby allow me to lodge and that I should have been with their mom. They continued the humiliation, I couldn't take it anymore or hold back my tears so I left.

Hubby later told me that she held a meeting in my absence with the entire family and told them I'm a bad wife and needs to leave her brother. This was when hubby stood up for me and said I wasn't going anywhere.

Our marriage was never the same. Even when we had our daughter, no one called, hubby was ostracized from his own family and he blamed me sometimes. I couldn't concentrate at work, and my job is performance-based. I was scared that I'll be fired, so I resigned.

Hubby's income wasn't enough to sustain us, so we started facing financial difficulties. He had to even go meet the same sister to borrow money, even though I discouraged it. She always mocked him for it and I had to pay off the loan at a point.


When she saw that we are now broke, she stopped fighting with him and they are on talking terms now, of course, she still wants nothing to do with me. I know that they are family by blood and nothing is too hard to forgive, but each time she calls and they are happily discussing, Ican't help but feel angry for all she has caused us. I'm sometimes tempted to leave this marriage because this is not what I envisaged at all.

My brother is also married and I have never felt the need to interfere in his marriage or fight his wife.

I don't know how long I can continue in this union, even my innocent beautiful daughter is hated by them.

The nerve from toxic in-laws!

So sad!

Families are fast becoming a menace and threat to couples..

@Op,i can totally relate.. May the Lord give you the wisdom to handle them..

What got me off is "Husband should love and take care of his parents more than his kids".. Just imagine that "nonsense!

My own Experience
That's how I myself and my wife became enemies of my family members.. Because they are never satisfied with what we do for them..

They have accused my wife innocent wife of depriving them of love and money of their son and brother.

The same family we built a house for, bought 2 cars for them.. Paid the school fees of all of my siblings.. Sponsored the wedding of my siblings. Raise Millions of Naira capital for one of my siblings who eventually squandered it. We never failed in buying my parents food stuff and we have never even turned down any request for assistance from any of them..

Yet, whatever we did for them was never enough..
They started complaining that the school our kids are attending was too expensive..
Next was my wife does not "slave" for the family whenever we have family function..

Now, for our own peace of mind.. I have taken a position of "To your tent O Israel".

I cannot come and die because I have family.

Not necessarily true bro..

Some families are terrible.. I'm on this table live!

emmyileri:
This story is not complete. Something is definitely missing. The writer of the story is projecting an idea, "victim". Her own side of the story isn't sufficient to cast a judgment.

ChybuzzDD:


You seem to be giving excuses for this evidently weak husband.

How's it possible for your family members to send your wife out, and ''you will just be confused'' Nawaoo

If the guy had stood up like a man from the beginning when every family member was testing his/her 'superpower' status on his wife, things wouldn't have reached this ugly stage.

The guy didn't protect his wife/nuclear family enough and i must say that.

This is just the truth, the wife is suffering because the husband is a weakling and he refused to stand his ground against disrespect and unnecessary provocation his wife faced from day one.

frozen70:


I have not said that the lady is the problem of the family neither have I said that the man is the problem

If you read carefully from the first post

They never wanted her

The whole family are just something else



Now they didn't greeted her when she had her first child

So does that family look like a family that value relationship, but for the sake of her happiness and her child

She has to relax, she has proved to them that she too she get her own

But for how long will the fighting competition continue

Meanwhile under all this mess, am sure it has affected her love life

By now she should be on her second or third pregnancy

But all this Bruhaha is affecting she and her husband

I didn't say she should go to her Inlaws to apologize

I said she should start calming down

What if her husband
whom we can see have no mind of his own decides to have a side chic to cool off temper amidst this drama and she becomes pregnant

His family will welcome the side chic with open arms to the detriment of the wife

Now tell me, who is going to be the worst hit

In the matter of infidelity, divorce is the secondary solution after all ears have listened two both sides of their stories