This is no news to any Rivers indigene or an Igbo like myself who happens to have a Rivers mother.I often times wonder if it has always been like that.I will use my own maternal home as a start because they say "charity begins at home".All my Mums sisters but one are married to Igbos from Imo and Abia States.All my Grand fathers brothers are married to Igbo women too.Some people might argue that Ikwerre is a part of Igbo but my write up assumes rivers people as different.The past two Governors of Rivers State Ada George and Peter Odili all have Igbo wives.Chibuike Amaechi is not an exception.

I believe there must be a reason for this to keep recurring over the centuries.One of my friends from Okrika told me that marrying a fellow Okrika is quite stressful and requires several stages of marriage,hence the preference for Igbo girls.An Okrika girl also said something close.

Abagworo:

This is no news to any Rivers indigene or an Igbo like myself who happens to have a Rivers mother.I often times wonder if it has always been like that.

Its very common and  has always been like that
All of my uncles on my dads side are married to Igbo women.
Most of my aunts married Igbo men

Apparently all that marrying does absolutely nothing for our current situation.

Abagworo:

I believe there must be a reason for this to keep recurring over the centuries.

The simple reason is that we have history, at least, the groups in the area.

ChinenyeN:

Apparently all that marrying does absolutely nothing for our current situation.

I agree. A man's/woman's desires for a person from an opposite ethnic group doesn't mean for a second that they accept partially or completely the ethnic group of that significant other.

Also, my believe and plus from readings, Igbos have been traveling and mixing with other ethnics throughout what is known as Nigeria today. The thing is that during the times long ago before we were coined "Igbo", the travelers to foreign(non-igbo) areas(North and West) went by their town/village identity and of course its lost in the wind. Had we had like an empire, maybe name Igbo(or whatever), the influence of Igbos in outer areas would have been well marked. Truth is a lot(I would even be hesitant to say most) have Igbo blood in them one way or the other as opposed to the other way around.

Chyz*:

I agree. A man's/woman's desires for a person from an opposite ethnic group doesn't mean for a second that they accept partially or completely the ethnic group of that significant other.

Exactly. I would know.

Chyz*:

Also, my believe and plus from readings, Igbos have been traveling and mixing with other ethnics throughout what is known as Nigeria today. The thing is that during the times long ago before we were coined "Igbo", the travelers to foreign(non-igbo) areas(North and West) went by their town/village identity and of course its lost in the wind. Had we had like an empire, maybe name Igbo(or whatever), the influence of Igbos in outer areas  would have been well marked. Truth is a lot(I would even be hesitant to say most) have Igbo blood in them one way or the other as opposed to the other way around.

haha. . that is a very big Had we.

ijaw_girl:

Its very common and  has always been like that
All of my uncles on my dads side are married to Igbo women.
Most of my aunts married Igbo men

Really
. . . and you still despise Igbos.

Obiagu1:

Really
. . . and you still despise Igbos.

Obiagu, I think you are getting her confused. She doesn't despise Igbos.

The

Obiagu1:

Really
. . . and you still despise Igbos. 

Chyz*:

Obiagu, I think you are getting her confused. She doesn't despise Igbos.

That "you" could be singular or plural, either way, the point is valid and still stands. Ijo despise Igbo the most out of any other group, and I have yet to understand why.

Chyz*:

Obiagu, I think you are getting her confused. She doesn't despise Igbos.

Maybe you're right but like chinenye said, I still can't understand how and why Rivers Ijaws despise Igbos, yet they often end up with Igbos as life partners. A lot of them are Igbos paternally and many more maternally.

That's why it's so confusing and annoying.

I experienced it first hand from my own cousins, and I am no longer on speaking terms with them because of this. You should see the attitude they get (or got) whenever we hit the topic of ancestry/history. Honestly, I think they would actually fight me over it.

Although, that's not to say that there aren't any reasonable Ijo out there. There are. I've come across some, but compared to the rest of the lot, they're nothing.

So the current situation is evident. Out of every other group, Ijo despise Igbo, and they despise Igbo the most.

ChinenyeN:

I experienced it first hand from my own cousins, and I am no longer on speaking terms with them because of this. You should see the attitude they get (or got) whenever we hit the topic of ancestry/history. Honestly, I think they would actually fight me over it.

Although, that's not to say that there aren't any reasonable Ijo out there. There are. I've come across some, but compared to the rest of the lot, they're nothing.

So the current situation is evident. Out of every other group, Ijo despise Igbo, and they despise Igbo the most.

This is because out of all the groups they come across, apart from Ogoni, they have yet to get a hand over us. Every attempt whether politically or aggressively have felled.

Chyz*:

This is because out of all the groups they come across, apart from Ogoni, they have yet to get a hand over us. Every attempt whether politically or aggressively have felled.

I am still yet to understand why (apart from our extensive history) we intermarry with them so much. They hate us to the bone. Seriously, if all the Ijo could stand together in one area, and hate all at the same time, I'm sure they could reduce the environment on which they would stand to ashes. That is how much they hate us. . .

. . . Yet I see my uncles and aunts marrying them and producing more Ngwa/Ijo babies who will only turn out like my cousins I no longer speak to.

Obiagu1:

Really
. . . and you still despise Igbos. 

lol I dont

What's even more annoying than my own family marrying them is the fact that they [Ijo] openly and actively marry us. It's a crisis and I want to know the back story. How can a people categorically hate one collective group of people so much, but yet intermarry with them the most out of any other?

ChinenyeN:

What's even more annoying than my own family marrying them is the fact that they [Ijo] openly and actively marry us. It's a crisis and I want to know the back story. How can a people categorically hate one collective group of people so much, but yet intermarry with them the most out of any other?

Do you have any idea of the source of the hate, or at least what is "said" by the Ijaw to be the reason? I remember in an article that I posted some time back, Asari Dokubo said that as a youngblood his mother told him to hate Igbos. The funny thing is she married an Igbo man,lol. Although Asari's father, i believe also has ijaw blood. Asari Dokubos maternal family is royalty. This is why im guessing he feels more inclined to claim outrightly Ijaw. The man is Igbo. This more the reason I believe he works with Ralph Uwazuruike(MASSOB). But, it seems that Igbos and Ijaws have a really weird relationship. When the disintegration of nigeria comes, I wonder what Dokubos stance is going to be when it comes to Bonny and Opobo.

a Bonny-Ijaw and igbo wedding


igbo lady now a proper Bonny woman
kc in her bonny trad dress

Ijaw_girl, I always love the photos you post. Keep it up!

thanks, I try


part of the igbo list. .we all know igbo babes r expensive lol

Chyz*:

Do you have any idea of the source of the hate, or at least what is "said" by the Ijaw to be the reason?

Not a single Ijo I have been able to speak with has been able to tell me why. Even my cousins never had an answer for that questions. I did have a talk with my father late last night though. He said we should just leave the Ijo, because to him it isn't worth all the time and effort spent thinking about it. He even rhetorically asked me "Do you think they even like us?" but then at the same time he acknowledged the rate of intermarriage between us and them. He did say though that they keep having babies, and the only thing their babies know is where they are born (Opobo, Bonny, Okrika, etc.). The only thing their babies know is what they are told by their parents (even though their parents marry Igbo). At the end of it all, my father would much rather spend his time thinking about something conclusive, and not the Ijo. He said it is what it is, but what exactly that "it" is he doesn't know.

Chyz*:

But, it seems that Igbos and Ijaws have a really weird relationship. When the disintegration of nigeria comes, I wonder what Dokubos stance is going to be when it comes to Bonny and Opobo.

Yea, there is a very abnormal relationship. In fact without going into long stories about history, I would just say that the relationship is more than just weird, it's unhealthy. As for Dokubo, I wonder too, considering that from what I've heard he hates Igbo to the core; he hates more than any other Ijo. I guess it's like my father said. They are born and what they know is what they're told. It just is what "it" is.

Why a parent should preach hate to his/her kid is beyond me.
It's really a very weird relationship.

I'll say Ijaw hate is more out of envy. You can't beat the Igbo, you can't dominate them, you can't control them, and you can't subdue them. All that's left is just hate them out of frustration.

I'll say they actively marry Igbos to produce kids that have Igbo attributes which they admire.

My theory is you can't marry who you hate. The hate came from envy and frustration. Pure and simple.

But what envy and what frustration are they experiencing that would lead to this unhealthy situation? What kind of envy and frustration allows for a people to collectively and continually marry those they hate and despise?

This sounds weird, but true in a lot of cases.

Marrying females from the group you so despise gives a sense of 'psychological' dominance over that group.

In the old days, when a conquering army defeats their enemies in battle, they kill or enslave the males, but keep the females for themselves as wives or concubines.

I think this still plays out somehow in modern times, ofcourse, without the battles.

Alright. So Ijo people shout marginalization and Igbo dominance, and so to compensate for this supposed marginalization and dominance they marry our women?

i think the ijos marry wherever they find themselves.

that's why there are so many ijoid groups around the coast.

I really think Igbos should not be bothered about how a group feel about them.

I dont care on a personal level, I dont have the need of seeking anybody's approval.

In my wicked mind, I still wished our ancestors didn't allow them to settle on the coastline, or at best limit them to living on their boats on the Atlantic.

I think this thread is about marriage between Igbo of SE and Abua,Ekpeye,Ikwerre,Andoni,Ndoni,Ogba,Okrika,Bonny,Opobo,Eleme,Degema and other Rivers people.

Let's keep it that way.I have another thread on why Igbos and Ijaws should unite.

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-239065.0.html

nusdog, it's that whole "live and let live" ideology that was so prevalent in the area, and some people want to forever tell me fables of "Ijo hospitality".

Abagworo, whether the neglectful Abua or foolish Ikwere, or annoying Kalabari, etc. it doesn't matter. They as a collective people have shown that they harbor strong prejudices against another collective group of people, yet they actively marry those very same collective groups of people that they harbor prejudices against. Discussing this is within the scope of this marriage discussion. We end up saying Ijo, I guess because Ijo always has a mouth to run.

And there is no point in discussing any form of unity. We both know that.

ChinenyeN:

And there is no point in discussing any form of unity. We both know that.

I understand where you are coming from but this thread does not in any way suggest that.I have already discovered the unfounded bitterness on Ijaws part but this is more like a cultural thing.You can see the pix posted by ijawgal earlier.That is the exact aim of this thread.We can iron out the other stuf on the old thread.

Those pics posted by ijaw_girl even annoy me. This whole topic of marriage with those Rivers people annoys me. It would be nice if all those marriages ended.

ChinenyeN:

Those pics posted by ijaw_girl even annoy me. This whole topic of marriage with those Rivers people annoys me. It would be nice if all those marriages ended.

LMFAO!.Its like you recently got to know what you did not know.