IkeIgboNiile:
Victoria938
Our Africans mentality is the problem. When it comes to adoption , Africans are still behind , many stigmatize the innocent children they make them less privileged in the society.

Stupid talk. African families have adopted kids and even families centuries before the white man came.
If you ask your father or any elderly person around you about your family history. You'll notice that there are one or two families who are not related by blood to you but are your family members because your grand father gave them lands or shelter in the old days when they have settled or reside till date.

If you see what adopted children is doing in some family you just shut up

Edoziesmart:

Who is discriminating them?

Thte feel like not to answer our own surname rather their own surname. Their surname is the name of the man that my ancestor gave shelter and land.

If we are discriminating them, we won't have even share our lands to them equally. Nobody knows they are not part of us from origin aside that surname difference, because we do things in common.

Okay.

advanceDNA:


U see??...u just confirmed what i said....u dont only talk nonsense...u have no regard for ur parents or other people's parent... anytime i see ur comment...i always wonder what kind of gutter, shanti type of environment u live in

Eyah....everyone cannot be a dreg like you, I for one, will always put idi..ots like you in their place who hop on my comment to provoke me for no reason, so that the next time they see my moniker, they will think a billion times before quoting me to type trash

Once again, get the fvck off my mention.

Jovialjune1:



Eyah....everyone cannot be a dreg like you, I for one, will always put idi..ots like you in their place who hop on my comment to provoke me for no reason, so that the next time they see my moniker, they will think a billion times before quoting me to type trash

Once again, get the fvck off my mention.

Madam ....in case u dont know...the dirty way u talk only does one thing to you.... it only shows the kinda person u are: gutter babes

Let me come in to this topic. Africans adopt but not like the whites, my family friend has 1 boy and 3 girls. He met a little boy who was around 5 years in the village that just lost his parents and siblings to a fata moto accident, he took the boy and trained him up to university level. I don't know another adoption

advanceDNA:


Madam ....in case u dont know...the dirty way u talk only does one thing to you.... it only shows the kinda person u are: gutter babes

Okay....you can now fvck off forever.

Jovialjune1:



Okay....you can now fvck off forever.

Nope ..
.public forum...remember??

diogo23:

One of my relation the they adopt is a bandit now . They are looking for away to dispose him, that's fear of many Nigerian family

Anini was not adopted and lots of agberos were not adopted as well. I can go on and give millions of examples of kids who ended badly despite being raised by biological parents.

Nurture plays a crucial factor in a child's upbringing!

For our society to thrive and succeed, we need to have a mentality change and a complete paradigm shift in our thought process . Culture should evolve to meet the needs of our society. The people I pity the most are individuals who help adopt children of relatives and help train kids for lazy relatives. In short we desperately need a positive cultural evolution for our society to thrive.

The biggest mistake you will ever make is to adopt children of relatives, it backfires 100% of the time. You can help relatives from afar off but never adopt their kids.

PrimadonnaO:



Well, I can imagine how it's different. Because what you've said is the exact reason I'd love to have at least one child borne by me.

However, for couples who have been waiting for years without any child, it's already become a possibility that they may never be able to carry a child under their heart and see their grandparents in those kids, so rather than lose it all, why not adopt, and pour heart soul & love into that child?

The only thing that would ever be missing is the blood component.

Moreover, it's not written anywhere that after you adopt, you'll never be able to bear your own biological child.

I pray that the man I marry would let us adopt a child no matter how many of our blood we have.

Some people can adopt, some others can`t, even if it means not having children at all. Different types of people.

Having your own kids and adopting one might lead to a lot of problems. Might.

Victoria938:
Our Africans mentality is the problem. When it comes to adoption , Africans are still behind , many stigmatize the innocent children they make them less privileged in the society.

I have a friend who is looking for a child for the past 8ys, she is almost developing mental issues because of it. What stops them from adopting and regaining their sanity? I have stopped listening to her lamentations, Na Dem sabi.


My happiness is those around me don't have that backwards african slavery mentality. The world has moved on without African wrapped sense of view.

diogo23
If you see what adopted children is doing in some family you just shut up

Some biological kids do worst in their own families. A lot of adopted kids have also brought joy and happiness to their adopted families too.

Skyview01:
For our society to thrive and succeed, we need to have a mentality change and a complete paradigm shift in our thought process . Culture should evolve to meet the needs of our society. The people I pity the most are individuals who help adopt children of relatives and help train kids for lazy relatives. In short we desperately need a positive cultural evolution for our society to thrive.

The biggest mistake you will ever make is to adopt children of relatives, it backfires 100% of the time. You can help relatives from afar off but never adopt their kids.

My eldest sister was the first person to mention this to me. It's mostly backfires.

The children often times turn out to be ungrateful, any misunderstanding with them they will threaten to return to their parents, same with their parents they will demand for their children especially if its a case where the adopted parents are barren.

I will love to adopt from another country self.

DrDunamis:
■Our society is not engineered in that way and thus you don't find it a common thought.
But every child is your child.

What society is engineered in that way then?

iamL:
■My eldest sister was the first person to mention this to me. It's mostly backfires. The children often times turn out to be ungrateful, any misunderstanding with them they will threaten to return to their parents, same with their parents they will demand for their children especially if its a case where the adopted parents are barren. I will love to adopt from another country self.

Many of the children are broken souls who need someone who will love them along with their faults. They are children that need help. Not grown-ups that are to do as you ask.

Aonkuuse:
Bro you have no idea about this thing. Do you know that many people will prefer they have a wayward child than adopt a good child that is not their blood??. This is in human nature, Abraham was blessed and was riches to adopt any child but God preferred to give him his own child at old age, even having a child with his maid wasn't enough. Bro as far as Christianity is concerned, your true offsprings comes from your blood, not from an adopted child. Let people seek for their own children in peace. The order is from God himself.

Which order from God?
The same Abraham that adopted Lot is own cousins?

Jesslove:
Apart from the stress involved in adopting, there's a fear that the adopted child may still find his real parents thereby not appreciating the adopted parents. Also the fear of culture and what will people say especially when family matters are concerned. Some family members especially the archaic illiterate ones will never accept the child and will make sure that child is reminded about it all the time which can make him feel unwelcome and insecure in the extended family.

But these fears are not unique to the Nigerian situation. So why do Nigerians overwhelmingly allow such things to stop them from extending love to these children in need?

Sharonstone7719:
In Nigeria people vehemently fast and pray against doctors expert decision to carry out CS on them for their own children. As long as Hebrew women vaginal delivery is still being held as sacred, adoption is of the devil.

That CS own go shock you if you witness am.

4ward4:
■ Orphanage Home isn't our Tradition or thing. We have an actively involved Extended family lifestyle. An Orphan will definitely be housed by his/ her uncle , grand ma or even a distant relative. The white doesn't practice such massive Extended Familiy inclusion like we the black , thereby making adoption a tough decision here. Since it is believed most babies in the Orphanage homes aren't really Orphans, but from some ladies reckless lifestyle with some kind of irresponsible man.
On a good scale, most assumptions such as; 1. The adopted child might end up following the parts or lifestyle of his/her biological mother or father is 70% True. In a Sane society how will a man and woman be so reckless to birth and abandon a child, moving on like nothing ever happened. To me that is the hight of irresponsibility and shouldn't be encouraged in Africa. Almajiri in Northern Nigeria, if we were to be in the US, will be accepted into orphanage Home and put up for adoption. Meanwhile their parents are still existing and still populating the earth surface.

Yet millions of children roam Nigeria homeless every day?

Edoziesmart

I agree with you. Because there are one particular family in my knidred in the village that bear different surname from ours.
When I made enquiry about the difference in surname, I got to know that their ancestor is from far away community miles away from my LGA let alone community. My ancestor adopted the man and woman they settle in our land and bore children. Now their offspring are part of us.

Note: Our surname is the name of my ancestor 5 generation ago. So every member of my kindred are mandatory to bear the surname excluding ladies that are married out. But in this case, that particular family in my kindred is the one with different surname due to the fact they are not related to us biologically from origin.

Same happened in my family. During the slave trade era, my ancestor decided to leave his father's house because he felt he could protect his young family from the slave traders so he left with a couple of his friends and relatives to the part of the town where our ancestral land is currently located.
Currently those families make up our umunna though we still have umunna from our original ancestral side but no longer close to them.

poshestmina:
■ Major Issue is ,once these kids grow up and know about themselves ,they will go to any length to find their biological parents . It's natural and it must happen! Most times they start seeing the adopted parents as wicked and inconsiderate if you try to stop them. I can't sow and then one woman somewhere that recklessly abandoned her child will reap it and the kid starts seeing me as a second option and whatnot. I'd rather go with Ivf or No-contact surrogacy.

Those fears are not unique to the Nigerian situation. So, why do Nigerians generally allow such fears keep them from extending a helping hand to children in need?

Hathor5:
It would be nice if people gave orphans a home but it`s not the same. For a woman, the experience of carrying a baby under her heart is something many want to experience. The couple also wants to see themselves in the child and even the DNA of the grandparents and so on. It`s just different.

So, must the woman experience this 8 times when she can maybe do it 4 times and then adopt the remaining 4 out of 8 kids she yearns to have?

Jovialjune1:
■Must everything boil down to African mentality? How does some of you reason sef? What has stigmatisation got to do with adopting kids? If you've never seen African or Nigerian couples adopt kids, say so instead of generalising all as one, or you think everyone in western countries have one or two adopted kids in their home? Because i know your thought process is hell bent on praising oyinbo people, Inferiority complex is bad.

Millions of kids roam the streets of Nigeria every day without a home to call their own yet your Nigerian churches remain filled to the brim even with people who fast and pray for children. Do the math, how come?

Victoria938:
Our Africans mentality is the problem. When it comes to adoption , Africans are still behind , many stigmatize the innocent children they make them less privileged in the society.

Pray you never experience this

OBTOREPA:
■Pray you never experience this

Have you?

Kobojunkie:
Have you?

Not my portion
Many of them goes through a lot of mockery and accusations, shame and lot more. So will like to prove there enemies wrong that they're not eating there babies or into cultist. Another is involved.

OBTOREPA:
■ Not my portion.
■ Many of them goes through a lot of mockery and accusations, shame and lot more. So will like to prove there enemies wrong that they're not eating there babies or into cultist. Another is involved.

1. You have never personally experienced it but somehow you are absolutely sure it will never turn out good if you step outside of your fears and anxieties to do the right thing in this case. So you go as far as to even promote this fear against what should be commonsense really.

2. So, because they are stigmatized by society, that means society is right in what it does and those innocent children should be avoided at all costs?

Kobojunkie:
Yet millions of children roam Nigeria homeless every day?

Were you patient enough to read all through. Your answer lies there.

4ward4:
■ Were are you patient enough to read all through. Your answer lies there.

There is no answer just suppositions drawn from unfounded fears.

Hathor5:


Some people can adopt, some others can`t, even if it means not having children at all. Different types of people.

Having your own kids and adopting one might lead to a lot of problems. Might.

What sort of problems?

Kobojunkie:
So, must the woman experience this 8 times when she can maybe do it 4 times and then adopt the remaining 4 out of 8 kids she yearns to have?

Personal choice. Very personal.

Kobojunkie:
What society is engineered in that way then?

Looking at the western societies you'd see it a common trend for them to readily want to adopt in such situations cos not only are there benefits in doing that but because the society is enlightened in this noble way of life. You're having challenges of having your own kid, adopt. But over here the story is different